Guided Love (Prick #1)

by Tracie Redmond

  “Aww, Ellie that is so romantic.”

  She smiled up at me and shook her head in agreement.

  “Yes, he was a romantic, he loved me. I mean he really loved me. Now a days, young people throw that word, love, around so freely. Back in my day, when you told someone you loved them, you were in it for the long haul. Loving someone, Sam, people think it’s easy but it’s not. When you love someone, when you love them with your heart and soul, you love them unconditionally. You love the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes you may not get along, you may not like them a whole lot, but when you love them that love never stops. When Tony and I married, it was expected that you marry and have children. I will never forget the day when we sat at in my doctor’s office and he broke the news that I was unable to have children. It was never going to happen. I remember crying. I remember Tony grabbing my hand, pulling me into his arms and holding me tight. I was broken, devastated that I was never going to have a baby of my own, that I was never going to give my husband a son to carry on his name. Before I could say anything, Tony looked me straight in the eyes and told me he loved me. That this was GOD's way of letting him have me all to himself. He never cried about it, he never held that over my head, all he did was love me. Yet, when we finally met Axel, he saw the love I had to give to him and Tony finally felt the love as well. He loved our boy. He taught him everything from building tree houses to building decks. He also taught him how to love a woman. My boy he has never loved, not until you.”

  “Ellie, Axel doesn't.”

  She cuts me off with her stern look and corrects me.

  “Oh, you silly girl, I know my boy and he does love you. He has loved you since the day he met you. When you left, he felt the emptiness. I remember he came here and I told him that you needed to go and find yourself. You needed to find you and until you loved yourself, there was no way anyone else could. I am so happy you came here, Samantha, I am so happy. Will you do me favor?”

  With tears in my eyes and a simple nod, she continues.

  “Love one another. Love one another with all you are. Tony carved our initials into this tree because he said that no matter what weather we faced, we would always be together. I need you to promise me that you will love our boy with all that you are. I know Camaron hurt you. I know, in some way, you did love him. But the love you had for Camaron doesn't compare to the love I see between you and Axel. That love, that love is rare—you need to hold onto that and enjoy every minute, every day because, sweetie, life it goes by so quickly.”

  She smiles at me and pats my hand. This woman sitting next to me is the most amazing person I have ever met. Taking her hand in mine, we sit and enjoy the sunshine. I look over and see her looking up to the sky and it hits me, this amazing woman has impacted my life in so many ways. She inspires me to be more: to be a better woman, friend and a better partner. She has taught me so much in such a short amount of time. I am battling with my thoughts because I feel like she is saying goodbye and I am so not ready to let go. Quietly the tears start to fall and I feel her gently squeeze my hand. She looks at me and smiles.

  “Everything will be okay, dear, No tears, alright. Times like this you need to stay strong and smile. Everything will be okay. Just make sure of one thing, okay? Make sure that if anything does happen to me that Axel cleans out the closet in the hallway.”

  I can't help it I laugh. “Nothing is gonna happen, Ellie.”

  “Well, just in case, just make sure that he cleans out the hallway closet.”

  “Okay, I promise the closet will be the first thing he does.”

  Laughing and shaking my head, she pats my hand and we get up. She leads us to her garden where the flowers are in bloom. She is looking all around, taking it all in.

  After a while, we head into the house and have lunch. She seems a little tired and has a headache, so I help her up to her room so she can lie down and I head into my room. I grab my cellphone and see a missed call and a text message—both from Axel.

  Axel: Hey beautiful hope you’re having a great day.

  I can't help but smile and hit reply.

  Me: Hey gorgeous, I am having an amazing day I hope you are as well.

  Axel: Oh really?

  Me: Yep, I woke up in this hotties arms and then I spent all afternoon outside soaking up some sunshine with Ellie. She hasn't had a spell yet! Really it truly is a great day.

  I hit send and immediately my phone starts to ring; it’s Axel.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey yourself, gorgeous. How is your day?”

  “It’s good, I scheduled Ma's appointment with the doctor for this Friday. I have three more appointments and then I am heading home to the sexiest woman I have ever seen.”

  “Really? Well, Ellie will be happy to see you too.”

  “Wow, that’s just . . . WRONG.” He laughs so hard I can't help laugh along with him.

  “No really, you’ll be so happy because she is really having a great day, Axel. She hasn't had a spell at all.”

  “That’s amazing, babe. I am going to get these done and get home as soon as I can.”

  “Okay, Axel, see you soon.”

  “Bye, beautiful.”

  I hang up the phone and shake my head. It still makes me giddy to know that Axel Davis, THE Axel Davis, is calling me beautiful and actually means it. It’s not just a figure of speech—it’s real.

  It's Thursday and Ma has been herself for the last three days. There have been no spells. It truly amazes me as everything that I read tells me that things like this don't happen, but it’s happening and I’m going to enjoy every moment I have with her.

  I went into the shop this morning for an appointment, but took a half a day so that I can spend some time with Ma and Samantha. Samantha has to finish her edits. I know she says she can do it while taking care of Ma, but I want to make sure that she has the time to just focus on her work and know that I will support her in any way I can—especially since she dropped everything to support me.

  As I walk out of the shop, I run into Camaron. To say it’s a bit awkward for me is an understatement. I don’t know what to say as Samantha and I haven't really discussed what exactly we are. She knows that I am all in, but I really don't know what she is thinking. I open the door and find Samantha and Ma are once again looking through Ma's wedding album with sad eyes and I know that, right now, Ma is having a spell.

  “Hi, Ma.”

  I walk toward her and I get no response. She is still looking at the pictures and running her hand over Pa's photo.

  “Eleanor, Axel is here. Why don't you say hello?” Slowly, she looks up at me and, with an innocent smile, she quietly says, “Hello.”

  I look into her eyes and see that Ma is gone, hopefully only for only a little while. I am hoping that she comes back to me.

  “Well, Ellie, I am going to let you show Axel all of those beautiful photos of you and Tony. Is that alright? I’ll be right over there at the kitchen table if you need me?” Samantha speaks so carefully to her and with such love that I fall harder for her.

  Ma smiles up and I take a seat next to her, I put my arm behind her on the couch, listen to her tell me all about the day she fell in love, and the day that she finally said I do.

  After looking at the photo albums, even the ones of my childhood, and sitting there listening to her tell me all about me and how Axel is probably outside in the tree house, it breaks my heart. I turn on I Love Lucy and go to make some dinner for her. I try to keep quiet as I notice that Samantha is on her phone and working on her computer. She sees me and hurries to hang up.

  “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I can order something in and let you get back to your phone call.”

  She doesn't say anything as she is sitting there looking at me. I start to walk out when she grabs my hand. She stands up, walking towards me and wraps her arms around my waist.

  “You didn't interrupt anything, Axel.”

  I stand t
here and as hold her in my arms, my head is spinning. It feels like all the walls are closing in on me and I am dropping everything that I am holding.

  “Axel, it’s going to be okay, I know it’s hard and heartbreaking, but I’m here. I am right here for you alright?”

  I can't help but squeeze her tighter. I pull back and kiss the top of her head. “Thank you, babe.”

  “Any time, handsome. Now, what would you like for dinner?”

  “Apple Pie.”

  We both turn and see Ma standing in the kitchen doorway and she is smiling up at us like she is the happiest woman in the world.

  “Ma, we don't have any apple pie. Why don't we have some pasta?”

  “Oh, Axel, we have apples in the refrigerator, we always have apples in there, and we’ll make an apple pie.”

  I look over at Samantha, she has tears in her eyes. Ma is with us again and if she wants apple pie then we will have apple pie.

  Shaking her head, Samantha walks over to the refrigerator and grabs the apples.

  “Alright, Ellie, let’s get the apple pie started.”

  During dinner Ma again is herself, no spells, just her.

  “Axel, I’m so happy to see that you have mastered my sauce, this is delicious. Now, you make sure, Samantha, that he cooks for you at least once a week. You need to keep my boy in line, you hear me?” I see Samantha try to hide the tears that are starting to pool in her eyes, as she nods and looks down. I reach under the table and grab her hand just to let her know that I am right here for her.

  “Ma, Samantha doesn't need to keep me in line that’s what you do.” I try to lighten the mood, because if I don't, I know I’m going to lose it. I’m trying to be strong but, fuck, right now this is so hard.

  “Axel, my sweet boy, you have found her, the one woman that you will love for the rest of your life. The woman that will keep you in line, who will inspire you to be a better man. Samantha brings out the best in you, my boy, as you do for her.”

  Samantha and I are looking at Ma, taking in all of her wisdom; I'm not sure what, exactly, Samantha is thinking but what I can say is that Ma is right: Samantha inspires me to be a better man, I would do and give anything to call her mine.

  “Just remember, my sweeties, this gift called life . . . it goes by quickly. One day, you’re twenty and then next you’re eighty-four. What you need to remember is to make the time count. Enjoy every moment of every day. I want you to make sure to laugh and smile and wake up and give thanks—especially that you have one another. This journey that we call life, is like an ocean. It’s beautiful and glorious. Yet, there will be times when your ship will rock and the waves will be crashing all around you. What you need to remember is that you have one another. You are the compass, the North Star for each other. When life gets you from all sides, don't give up. Just look to one another and find your strength. The love you have for one another is beautiful and rare. So many don't ever find it, but I am so happy that you found each other. Promise me something?”

  Samantha wipes her eyes and I have no words, so I nod.

  “Promise me that you will make the time count.”

  We both answer immediately, “We will.”

  “Okay, one more thing, like the sexy Tim McGraw sings: I need you to live like you were dying. Do everything on your bucket lists and add to them. Take pictures and make memories. Love the unlovable and forgive the unforgivable. Make sure to walk with my walk group when you can, dance in the rain and, lastly, I want you to make sure to tend to my garden and clean the hallway closet,” she says with a smile. “Now, let’s eat the apple pie.”

  The pie was delicious and the conversations are light. A little while later, Samantha helps Ma upstairs as she is feeling a bit tired. I walk up and find Ma sitting up in her bed and Samantha is lying beside her, watching an old video. Samantha found them in the attic, as well as a VCR, so she must have hooked it up so that they could watch them. I walk in and take a spot on the opposite side of Ma. The movie is of Ma, Pa and me on the first Christmas I moved in with them. I was a punky kid, not understanding why they were taping it, but now, I’m so happy they did. The movie skips to Pa taping me outside doing yard work. Yeah, like I said, they loved to capture every moment—even the ones you wouldn't really need documented like me cutting the grass.

  “Axel.”

  I look down and see Ma looking up at me and she has a strange look in her eyes. She looks kind of . . . sad. I wrap my arm around her and bring her close to me. Ma is the strongest woman I have ever known. But, times like this, when she is sad and vulnerable, all I want to do is hold her and take it all away.

  “Axel, you need to know something.”

  “What Ma?”

  “You were a gift given to me by GOD. You made my life, son. When I stand before GOD and he asks me if I loved, if I gave love and if I left any goodness in this world, my answer will be yes. When he asks me what, all I will say is Axel. I love you, my son, you know that, right? You know that you gave me my life the day you came over to our house. You gave us our dream, to be a mother and a father. Thank you for letting me love you, Axel.”

  With tears in my eyes, I hold tight to her.

  “Ma, it’s me that needs to thank you. You took in a punky ass kid and loved me. You made me who I am, Ma, and I can't tell you how much I love you. Nothing is gonna happen, okay. Just rest, we’ll have a great breakfast in the morning and, maybe, we’ll go and meet up with your walking group. That sound like fun?”

  Ma rests her head on her pillow, grabs my hand, and closes her eyes. Samantha and I are still lying on the bed with her, watching the end of the family video when Ma faintly whispers, “I love you, Axel.”

  I feel her hand loosen in my grip and I look down and start to shake my head.

  “No! No! Ma, wake up . . . wake up, Ma, come on.”

  Samantha is up and feeling for a pulse. Ma is gone. She told me she loved me and now she is gone. I’m a wreck, I don't know what to do and I start rubbing her hand, begging her to wake up—she needs to wake up. I hear Samantha on the phone, all I can do is cry.

  I am on my knees with Ma’s hand in mine and I just keep whispering, “I love you, Ma. Please wake up, please wake up!”

  Samantha's hand comes on my shoulder, I take her hand and hold it tight.

  “Axel, baby, I called everyone and Dr. Boonin. The funeral director is on his way. I called Paul and he’ll let everyone know. They’ll be on their way as well.”

  My eyes are closed tight. I can feel her mouth next to my ear, whispering, “It's going to be okay, Axel, I’ll take care of this. Everything will be okay.”

  I turn toward her, take her into my arms and we both sit there and cry.

  Ellie's doctor and the funeral director are in her room. Axel is outside with Paul and Allen, while Carrie, Gabby and I sit at the kitchen table. I am still in shock that Ellie passed.

  Everything was fine, she was a little tired and had her dementia but to suddenly pass—yeah, I can't wrap my mind around it. I just get finished telling Carrie everything that had happened when Dr. Boonin walks into the kitchen.

  “I am looking for Mr. Davis”

  Carrie hurries to the front door to call in Axel. Moments later, Dr. Boonin is surrounded by the entire Two Pricks family. Well, everyone but Camaron—he didn't pick up the phone. I did leave a message and send a text, but he hasn't showed.

  “Axel, it looks like Mrs. Martinelli passed from a brain aneurysm. The funeral director will give you some time before he takes her, if you'd like to say your goodbyes.”

  I look around and see that all of us are crying—even Allen and Paul are looking away trying to avoid eye contact.

  “Thank you so much for your help, Dr. Boonin.”

  “I am so sorry for your loss. Ellie was a wonderful woman and she will be missed.”

  When he leaves, I grab Axel's hand and we head up to the bedroom. As we are getting closer, I see that he is becoming more hesitant.

  “We can do this,
Axel. Let’s go in there and say our goodbyes.”

  I glace over and see him gazing down looking broken. He holds my hand a little tighter and walks in the room with me. Ellie is still laying on the bed, her eyes closed. We both kneel on the side of the bed. Axel lets go of my hand and takes Ellie's. I sit next to him and quietly say my goodbye. I thank her for all of the lessons she has given me, in the short time that she knew me. I stand slowly, bend down, and kiss Axel’s cheek.

  “I’m going to give you some time, let me know when the others can come in and I’ll handle it.”

  “Thank you, babe, you can send them in. I just want a few more moments but they can come in.”

  I turn and head back down to the kitchen and tell everyone that they can head upstairs.

  I see Allen let go of Gabby's hand and head up the stairs with Paul and Carrie. I am so emotional that I can't even give her a look or ask her what the handholding is all about. She can sense my mood because she walks right up to me and hugs me tight. I am trying to be strong but I break, and the tears flood her shirt.

  “I need to be strong, Gabs. I need to be strong for Axel, but I was lying right next to her. I watched her close her eyes and tell him that she loved him. Once she said it, she just . . . she just passed.” I feel her arms tighten around me and I lose it.

  I hear the door open and then close. I look up and see Camaron walking toward me.

  “Cam!”

  I pull away from Gabby and meet Camaron half way.

  We wrap our arms around one another and he is whispering in my ear, “What happened, Sam?”

  I slow my tears and I start to tell him, still wrapped in his arms. I hear a throat clear and Camaron lets go and I turn to see Axel standing there with a blank look on his face.

  “Sorry to interrupt.” My gut sinks to the floor and Camaron passes by me and grabs Axel’s hand.

  “Man, I just got the message. I am so fucking sorry, man.”

  Axel’s eyes are still on me, they haven't moved. I don't even think he has blinked.