Unstitched

by Jacquie Underdown

  Anthea rolled to face me and took my cheeks between her hands. Her touch was soft, caring — not at all like the wild woman who had just screamed my name to the surrounding suburbs. She was so hot, bucking against me like that, sexy — so wet and sweet.

  She whispered, ‘Can I taste you now?’

  My cock throbbed. I ached for her to touch me, was dying to have her take me deep into her mouth, but there was a reason I told her we should take it easy as much as it was torturing me now.

  My eyes widened and a grin crept onto my lips. ‘This one was for you.’

  ‘Oh.’

  I chuckled. ‘Believe me, Anthy, I don’t want to say no, but I’m not sure that if you wrapped your lips around me,’ I stopped, breathed in and out, trying to eliminate the image that was threatening my last remnants of resolve, ‘I’d be able to resist wanting all of you.’

  She groaned. ‘I hate that agreement.’

  ‘It has its purpose.’

  I would not take all of her before she was certain of her feelings. Before she knew that she loved me as much as I loved her — had always loved her.

  ‘So you’re allowed to make me come…’

  ‘Yes.’ I grinned. ‘And I loved every second of it.’ I kissed her, slipping my tongue against hers. ‘You taste so sweet. Every part of you.’

  ‘You’re a tease.’

  I laughed.

  I wish I wasn’t.

  Chapter 15

  Anthea

  My eyes widened, eyebrows soaring upwards, as I tilted my head way back and looked up. Immense steel arches thrust high into the inky black sky. A sky spattered with stars and soaked by the dull orange glow from the city lights.

  ‘We’re going to climb the bridge?’

  Lucas nodded and took my hand. My heart was stuttering, my veins sparking with adrenalin. This bridge was tall — as high as my twenty-two storey apartment.

  He led me to a small building where we met other climbers and the tour guide. We dressed in a baggy grey onesie so we could blend with the bridge’s steel and not distract drivers below. Definitely the most unattractive outfit I’d ever worn on a date. Harnesses were fixed to our belts and we each wore a headset to communicate between ourselves and the other climbers. We formed a group at the base of the bridge’s framework — thick steel beams, round rivets and grid work — and our harnesses were hooked to a spirit line.

  Lucas looked back over his shoulder at me and grinned. ‘You’re not scared, are you?’

  I swallowed hard and said over the thundering of my heart, ‘Of course not.’

  He laughed and turned back to the front. We began our steep ascent up countless narrow steps. The glassy breeze howled through the framework, while the lights and sounds of traffic bustling across the bridge roared up to meet me. But the higher we climbed the more the noises muted until the full-circle view rushed in to meet me: the city high-rises soaring towards the sky, orange and yellow light flittering from their square glass windows; darkened sheer cliffs; and sprawling mansions dotting the banks of the snaking river metres below.

  At the first viewing deck, I stood next to Lucas and he took my hand in his, forcing a pleasurable pulse through my body. ‘How you doing?’

  ‘Wonderfully.’

  He squeezed my hand tighter and we peered over the railing. I breathed in the salty breeze that stroked my hair and face, slid cold down my throat. ‘The city looks so beautiful from up here, almost magical,’ I said.

  He didn’t answer. I turned to face him. He was already looking at me. I smiled, but my lips soon straightened and parted as he leant down, his face nearing mine. He closed his eyes and I could feel his warm breath on my face and taste his delicious scent on my tongue. My eyelids fluttered closed and his lips were against mine. I sighed softly, desperate, as he edged my mouth open and slid his tongue inside. My body swelled, my head was dizzy.

  Lucas fisted the hair at my nape, his other hand trailing down my back, to my waist, creating a path of warmth that rippled and swelled in every vessel, leached into my blood. He took my face between his hands and I sank deeper into his kiss, deeper against him. What climbers? What view? What height? None of it existed. This kiss, Lucas, this moment, was all that mattered. All I knew and all I cared about was now and how I didn’t want this kiss to end.

  Too soon, he released me from my stupor and kissed me once more on the forehead. I peered into his bright green eyes, speechless, breathless.

  ‘We better get back in line,’ he whispered.

  I looked around me. The other climbers were already in line waiting for us to finish. A giggle burst from my throat and my face burned crimson. We hurried back into line.

  ‘Welcome back, guys,’ the tour guide taunted, and the other climbers erupted into laughter.

  The next part of the climb was a sharp descent down the side of the first wave of steel. We then scaled another steep rise to the second summit. The tour guide droned on with facts about the bridge, but I was too distracted to listen properly. I couldn’t keep my mind off Lucas — his hard body under my hands, his soapy flesh, the rough prickle of his stubble against my chin. He was under my skin and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get him to leave — ever want him to.

  We arrived at the second summit. Lucas joined me, took my hand, and led me to the observation deck. He was talking quietly, but I could only see his perfect features: strong nose and jaw, silky brown hair falling around his face and neck. I traced my fingers over the fingertips of his left hand, feeling the rough calluses that had formed from playing the guitar all his life…

  A loud whistling echoed all around me, popping and whizzing and crackling. My eyes darted into the night, but then an almighty bang cracked through the sky and my heart shook. An explosion of red, purple and green rained down all around me. There was another whistle and then strident explosions; fireworks were drawing patterns and splattering colours against the black canvas.

  Lucas was smiling smugly.

  ‘Did you know about this?’ I asked.

  He laughed. ‘I may have. Snapped you right out of your daydream.’

  I looked at my feet then peered back up at him from under fanned eyelashes. ‘You noticed that, ha?’

  He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek. ‘Yes, I did.’

  My heart was burning as brightly as the fireworks. I leaned into him and sighed. ‘Thank you. This is…wonderful. Magical.’

  He kissed me and rested his chin on my head, enclosing me in his warmth. ‘It’s my pleasure.’

  ***

  Lucas

  I pulled up outside Anthea’s apartment, pushed the car into neutral. I didn’t want to end the night here — hell no. I never wanted to leave her. But I had a plan and I needed to stick to it. There were no second chances.

  ‘Anthea?’

  She stopped staring out the window and turned to me.

  ‘A few fairies out the window I see?’

  She instantly blushed.

  I grinned wide, narrowed my eyes. ‘Are you blushing?’

  She placed her palms on her cheeks. ‘No.’

  I took her hands, lowered them to her lap and flicked on the interior lights.

  ‘I may be blushing a little bit,’ she said.

  My grin was teasing. ‘You’ve got me curious now. What thoughts would make you blush like that?’

  Silence.

  ‘I have a few ideas, but it might make you blush more if I’m wrong,’ I said.

  She stared out the window, avoiding my gaze.

  ‘So, do you want me to guess, or shall you just tell me?’

  She found my eyes and breathed deeply. ‘I was thinking how much I’ve enjoyed your company tonight and that I don’t want the date to end yet.’

  My eyes widened. ‘And that’s what you were blushing about?’

  ‘Well,’ she shrugged, a coy little grin on her lips, ‘I was also wondering what you would think if I asked you to come up for a drink.’

  ‘Aaaah, I get it
. You would like me to come up, but you don’t want me to confuse it with an invitation for sex,’ I said.

  She nodded slowly.

  ‘Would you like me to come up for a while?’

  She nodded again.

  Anthea was wearing my self-control down. I simply couldn’t say no. ‘I would like to come up.’

  ‘Good,’ she whispered. ‘And there is one more thing I was thinking about.’

  One eyebrow raised and then fell quickly back into place. ‘There’s more?’

  Her teeth pressed against her bottom lip. I looked at her plump, wet lip hungry to take it between mine.

  ‘I was also wondering whether you would…kiss me again.’ She was breathless.

  I laughed. ‘I was thinking the exact same thing.’ I stroked a finger down the length of her soft cheek. ‘I’ve wanted to kiss you again so much.’ I leant closer, brushed my lips across hers, ever so tingly light. ‘But not here. Let’s go upstairs.’

  Slightly breathless, Anthea blinked dazedly and nodded. ‘Sure.’

  Chapter 16

  Anthea

  The Audi climbed the winding road that cut through the mountainous landscape. Luscious rainforest bordered the road and beyond that was a sharp descent to the grassy slopes that folded against one another before blending with the distant hazy-blue coastline.

  ‘I’d forgotten how beautiful the scenery is up here. It’s been at least ten years since I last visited,’ I said to Lucas, stealing glimpses from the passenger side window and swallowing hard, trying to unblock my ears, which were doing their best to cope with the changing air pressure.

  The steep ascent flattened as we neared our destination: a little town buried deep in the hinterland of the Sunshine Coast. It was a charming village, bustling with tourists. We parked, I climbed out of the car and breathed in the crisp air, letting it occupy my accepting lungs. It smelled like damp timber and fertile forest flooring. I pulled my jacket tighter around my middle to defend against the cold.

  Lucas took my hand in his, those recurrent flutters filling my belly. It still amazed me how the slightest expression of intimacy thrilled me — and the deepest expressions made me scream. I’d never had these reactions to anyone else I’d ever dated. I ached to be with him when he wasn’t around, thought ceaselessly of him, even dreamt about him. And when I was with him, all was right with my life — no ragged unstitched threads pulling at my heart. With Lucas, I felt…healed.

  ‘Are you hungry?’ he asked.

  I ran my eyes up and down his enormous physique and nodded. ‘I’m starving.’

  We strolled past the many quaint shops to a restaurant on top of the hill. We settled at an outside table so we could take in the view of the undulating valley below, uninterrupted all the way to the ocean.

  ‘I could easily live up here,’ Lucas said, peering out at the endless countryside before us.

  ‘Definitely. Beats the city lights hands down. And smell that air, it’s so fresh.’

  Lucas reached over the table and took my hand in his. ‘I’ve a question for you.’

  ‘Should I be worried?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  I pulled my hand away, rested back against my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. ‘That’s not the answer I wanted to hear.’

  He paused a moment then smiled. ‘Can you remember when I came over to your apartment that day, when Leith was there?’

  I nodded. How could I forget?

  ‘What exactly did you mean by, “You know what it’s like to not be with the one you love”?’

  I turned my face to the view, so he couldn’t see my eyes, my face, the ever-present bounty of emotion.

  ‘Anthea,’ he pleaded.

  I found his face again. ‘It’s complicated.’

  He smiled. ‘Come on, Anthy, that’s so cliché.’

  My mind was screaming at me to back away, but my heart was open to telling him the truth. A truth he may reject as insanity or accept as a possible reality. That was the risk. And with a risk that huge, where he could run far away from me and never want anything to do with this level of crazy again. It was almost too enormous to consider. But, he did deserve the truth and I’m not sure how much longer I could hide it from him anyway. He did say he wanted to know every part of me, even those parts I didn’t understand myself.

  I looked into his waiting eyes and sighed. ‘What I’m going to tell you may sound a little strange.’

  He smiled. ‘I’m familiar with strange.’

  ‘You’re not allowed to laugh at me.’

  ‘Anthy, I won’t laugh at you.’

  ‘And you’re not allowed to run away.’

  He shook his head. ‘Never!’

  I shifted in my seat and smiled nervously. ‘Do you believe that certain people are destined…no, not destined…designed would be a better term. Do you believe that two people could be designed for each other and for no-one else?’

  He nodded slowly. ‘Sure, I could believe that.’

  ‘I can’t really explain this, because I don’t understand it myself, but, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had a kind of knowingness that there’s someone else in this universe that I should be with.’

  He arched his eyebrows.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m not really explaining myself well.’ I breathed in and out heavily; sweat was misting my forehead despite the cold temperature. ‘I’ve been in love with a man my entire life. Catch is, though, I’ve never known who this man is. All I know is that I love him so much that it hurts me to not be with him, right here in my heart, such an intense pain.’ I pushed my hand to my chest. ‘Can you imagine being with your soul mate, blissfully happy and then all of a sudden they’re snapped from your life and you’re left alone?’

  He nodded.

  ‘That’s how I’ve felt my entire life. As though my one true love has been taken from me and I’ve been left with the pain of his loss and miss him every single day.’

  Lucas took my hand again and squeezed. The grief I thought I’d recognised in his eyes that day in my apartment was present so intensely now. A lump swelled in my throat and I swallowed it down.

  ‘I’ve been fumbling through the darkness — searching countless, pointless relationships trying to find him, only knowing that this man even exists because of the aching that has been left in my heart by his absence.’

  The waitress came over with menus, glasses and a bottle of water. It allowed me enough time to calm myself with a long, deep breath. Lucas gave the waitress a forced thank-you smile as she left.

  He leant over the table and kissed me gently on the lips. ‘I’m sorry you’ve had to feel that way, Anthy.’ His words were drenched in emotion as though he was admitting responsibility for all that I’d told him. ‘I’ve one question, though.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Do you think I am that man you’ve been missing?’

  I peered into his beautiful green eyes, knowing that there was only one answer to that question. The answer I’ve known to be true, deep down, from the first moment I saw him smile at me. The answer I’ve tried hard to believe myself.

  ‘Yes. You’re that man, Lucas. Most definitely that man.’

  His eyes twinkled with pleasure, a smile spread across his amazing lips. ‘It means a lot to hear you say that.’

  My brow crumpled. ‘This is definitely not how I pictured this conversation going.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’ve just told you, after only knowing you for a matter of weeks, that I think you’re m-my soul mate, and you’re not running away screaming.’

  He shook his head, mouth twisting. ‘Surely you can understand that you haven’t been the only one stumbling in the dark?’

  I gasped. Could I have been so short-sighted to not even consider that the one I’ve been missing for so long has been missing me too? My throat was tight and achy. I couldn’t lull the tears and they spilled onto my cheeks. They were tears of happiness, but, at the same time, tears of sympathy. It
was heartbreaking to know that he had suffered as much as I had.

  ‘What are you saying, Lucas?’

  He wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. ‘I love you, Anthy. I have always loved you.’

  I had waited my entire life to hear him utter those words. Words that have been said before by others, but had fallen on deaf ears. But now, spoken through his perfect lips, I ate them up, swallowed them down, and made them a part of me. My heart swelled and tingled, absorbing the emotion that was flourishing in my body and soul. An emotion I had always known existed, but hadn’t been stirred and impressed upon me by the right man. The combination was like a chemical reaction; tiny explosions releasing and intensifying this emotion until it filled every aching need and satisfied the endless pining.

  The emotion was love. Biting, burning love. It was irrational and impetuous, but it was real. As real as the pink flush of my cheeks, as real as the thrumming of my heart and as real as the tears that spilled from my eyes.

  I barely had enough breath, but I managed to whisper, ‘I love you too.’

  Lucas leant over the table and kissed me hard on the lips, sealing our reciprocal admission. Even though we’d kissed many times, this was the first saturated with and supported consciously by love.

  Many, many questions swirled through my head, but they could wait. Right now, as his lips moved hotly against mine, gently caressing and nibbling, I was content to simply be. No words, no thinking, no reason. Only Lucas, me, and love, fresh and fiery, yet so strong it imitated a love built on millennia of togetherness. I pulled away and opened my eyes, only to see the waitress standing over us with a notepad in hand.

  ‘I-I’ll come back later,’ she said and skulked away.

  A laugh burst from my lips, my shoulders shook. ‘Oops.’

  Lucas laughed, too, a throaty chuckle. Relief floated in the air around us, lightening my head until it felt like I was drifting in the heavens.

  Still smiling wide, I ran a hand through my hair. ‘Lucas, since deep and meaningful is on the agenda…’