Unstitched

by Jacquie Underdown

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I want to share something else with you; one of my beliefs. It’s a little, perhaps, philosophical.’

  He arched a single eyebrow.

  ‘Do you believe that we’re only to live one life, this life?’ I asked.

  He shook his head slowly. ‘No, I don’t.’

  ‘I have a theory as to why it is that I’ve known of your existence long before we met, and why it is that every time you smile, or hold me or look into my eyes, it feels so familiar. And why it seems as though I’ve loved you for a thousand years — rather than just a few weeks.’

  He shifted his body forward, his eyes intent on mine. ‘Why do you think that is?’

  ‘I don’t believe this is the first time I’ve known you.’

  He hesitated a moment then said, ‘You think we’ve been lovers before?’

  I nodded. ‘Could you believe that?

  ‘I can’t think of a better explanation.’

  ‘I think we’ve perhaps been lovers, not just once, but many times over, as though, magnetically, we somehow float into each other’s lives again and again.’

  He nodded, whispering, ‘Perennial.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘Perennial.’

  Chapter 17

  Brendt

  I could hear the band, the thump thump thump of the drummer, the slow slide of guitars, as me and the girls waited at the front gate for entry into the venue.

  ‘He actually sounds great,’ I said, hearing Lucas sing for the first time — sober anyway.

  ‘He is,’ said Anthea.

  I laughed, wrapped an arm around her shoulders. ‘Come on, let’s get you in there before your knees are so weak you can’t walk.’

  We zigzagged through the crowd to a table Lucas had reserved for us, only metres from the stage. The club was dim and warm, the buzz of chatter and clinking glasses swarmed around us — a backdrop to the music Perennial were rocking out.

  Despite my attempts at remaining reserved, I cringed when I saw Lucas wink down at Anthea and she returned the gesture with a totally-besotted smile. She was goo goo-gaga over the guy and I had resigned myself to the fact.

  I took a seat between Anthea and Rachel, while Roslyn sat on the other side of Rachel next to Matt, the guy she had now seen three weekends in a row — a record for her.

  We ordered snacks and drinks and settled in for the show. Lucas was brilliant. It fucking killed me to admit it, but he was really, really good. Every woman in the room was mesmerised by him, ready to rip their underwear off and throw them up on the stage. I wanted to reach up there and grab his perfect fucking neck and squeeze tightly.

  Resigned to their relationship, my arse.

  I turned away from the stage and sighed. My heart was heaving in my tight chest, especially knowing that tonight would be the last time I would see Anthy again. Over the last few weeks, I’d made some heavy decisions. The situation at work with Leith and then at home with Rachel was taking its toll. A change was required before I sank further into an inescapable misery. Tonight was that night.

  I was to start a mentorship in property development under my dad in a fortnight. The only thing left to do was to end my relationship with Rachel, which would then automatically remove Anthy from my life as well. Rachel deserved more than half of my heart, and I couldn’t kid myself any longer that what we had was going to last.

  ‘Okay, guys,’ said Lucas, his voice echoing from the surround speakers. ‘We’ll be taking a ten minute break.’ He clipped his microphone back into the stand, jumped off the stage and jogged over, pulling up a chair beside Anthea. He kissed her, lingering for a long moment at her lips. ‘Hello, beautiful.’

  I grimaced and downed my drink, seeking distraction. A thick, boiling dissonance roared in my ears as Lucas and Anthea whispered and kissed. I tap-tap-tapped the toe of my boot against the floor, trying to dispel the raging energy in my body.

  Lucas stood. ‘I’ll catch up with you all later. I’m going to grab a drink, then head back up on stage.’

  ‘Hang on,’ I said. ‘I’ll come with you. I need to grab another drink anyway.’

  I followed Lucas to the bar.

  ‘What’s up?’ asked Lucas, as we waited for service.

  ‘Do you love her?’ I blurted out, white-knuckled fists at my side, wanting a reason to punish him.

  Lucas sighed — empathetic. Not the reaction I anticipated. I needed to hate this man, not receive his sympathy.

  ‘I know you love her,’ Lucas said.

  My jaw clenched. ‘You haven’t answered my question.’

  ‘Yes. I love her more than…more than anything.’

  I glared at him, but the frustration, the bitterness, wasn’t gathering any force. I could see in every action Lucas made that he loved Anthea. Forcing him to say it with words wasn’t going to prove the point any harder, nor change things.

  ‘I know,’ I finally said, releasing a long lungful of air. ‘But if you ever hurt her, for whatever reason, I will find you and I will fucking —’

  ‘I understand, Brendt, but I won’t hurt her.’

  I gritted my teeth.

  Fuck it.

  Was I seriously about to tear up?

  ‘I hope not,’ I hissed, then turned and marched back to the table.

  I plonked down next to Anthea, every muscle tight, jaw tensing.

  ‘Where’s your drink?’ asked Anthea.

  ‘Shit. Lucas and I got to talking and I clean forgot about it.’

  ***

  Anthea

  Lucas was amazing when he performed — so sexy, and his voice had a way of coiling around my body and stroking until I was wound as tight as a spring. I wanted him pressed against me, my mouth on his. But most of all I wanted him inside me. Without a doubt, I was ready to take it to a higher level.

  The next band for the evening had started their act by the time Lucas joined us at the table again. ‘These guys are good competition,’ he said.

  ‘They’ve got nothing on Perennial,’ said Roslyn over the loud music.

  ‘Thanks, Ros.’

  She smiled.

  He grabbed my waist and lifted me onto his lap, kissed my ear, my cheek. I sighed and arched my neck as his mouth lingered there, wanting more. He brushed against my ear and whispered, ‘Do you want to hang around for a while? Or do you want to get going?’

  I grinned. ‘I want to get out of here.’

  He nodded. ‘Exactly what I was thinking.’

  We gave flimsy excuses for leaving early, and rushed our goodbyes. Lucas took my hand and we headed to his car parked at the back of the venue.

  ‘Are you tired? Lucas asked.

  I shrugged. ‘A little. How about you?’

  ‘A little,’ he said, grinning. ‘Did you want to go back to my house tonight, or yours?’

  ‘Yours.’ No distractions.

  Lucas unlocked the car and we climbed inside. It was silent, except for our breathing. He took my chin between his fingers and turned my head towards him. His eyes wandered over my face and came to rest on my lips.

  ‘I’ve wanted to be alone with you all night,’ he said.

  I glided my tongue over my bottom lip and inhaled noisily. ‘Me too.’

  He grasped the hair at my nape and pressed his mouth to mine, edged my lips open, finding my tongue with his own. All the heaviness in my body was stolen and replaced with consuming heat. I sighed as our kiss deepened and tangled my fingers in his hair. But he pulled away.

  He looked at me, eyes molten with desire, chest rising and falling, and whispered, ‘I want you so bad. All of you.’

  I nodded. ‘I’m not going to stop you.’

  He started the engine. ‘I better get us home.’

  Lucas reversed the car, shifted into gear and drove us out of the car park onto the road. He rested his hand just above my knee and my blood pulsed beneath his touch. Ever so slowly, he clawed up the inside of my thigh over my jeans. I hated jeans in this moment and wished I’d worn a
dress. I was throbbing, anticipating his fingers on me right where I needed them most. He crept up further and I squirmed, my breaths heavy as I willed him to slide higher.

  The lights ahead turned red. Lucas withdrew his hand, moving to the gear stick as we rolled to a stop. He didn’t look at me, his eyes focused on the darkened street ahead.

  Is he teasing me?

  The lights flashed green and he accelerated. His hand drifted to my thigh, higher now. I ached for his touch.

  Another set of red lights. His hand clutched the gear stick, shifting the gears down until we stopped. I was deflated, frustrated, without him pawing me. I hated manual cars and red lights more than anything else in the world. I was about to growl when Lucas leant over and kissed me so softly up the length of my neck, along my jaw. His lips brushed against mine with warmth and pressure.

  All breath escaped me when he pulled away and accelerated again as though he’d never made me crazy with lust. I could have screamed. Why is he doing this? It’s driving me wild. The rest of the trip home was in complete silence, not one word interrupting the crackling atmosphere between us.

  We drove into Lucas’s garage. He opened the door for me and took my hands. He stood so close, pulling me against him, as he helped me from the car. His mouth lingered barely a fraction from mine. My lips parted, body sighed, but he didn’t kiss me. He started towards the stairs leading to his kitchen leaving me hanging by the car, buzzing with frustration, desire, anticipation.

  I made after him up the stairs. Barely two steps inside, he spun to face me and wrapped his hands around my hips. He edged me back across the kitchen floor, his eyes burning into mine, until my back was hard against the wall. Slow hands undid the button on my jeans, pulled down the zipper. I reeled watching him glide the jeans down my legs. His face, inches from my flesh, followed their path, his warm breath lighting every nerve ending. Hands curving and gliding over my hips, stomach, he made his way back up my body to my breasts where thumbs brushed against my taut nipples. Shocks pulsed through me and muscles jutted. My breasts swelled to meet his touch, my sex throbbed, dampened. Each pleasurable pinch, flick, unfurled that coil of pleasure in the pit of my belly.

  He grinned wickedly and his hands were gone along with my sanity. My balance stumbled, giddy. He turned to walk away, but I caught his hand, yanked him back against me. ‘Don’t you dare,’ I hissed.

  The corners of his mouth curled upwards. ‘Aren’t we supposed to be taking it easy?’ he whispered into my ear, soft lips against my lobe before he drew it into his mouth. His breaths were deep. My eyes dropped to his jeans. His cock bulged behind the denim prison. He was struggling as much as I was with this teasing act.

  ‘Definitely not. I’m retracting any such agreement.’

  Again he smiled. ‘Is that right?’

  ‘Yes,’ I said forcefully. I needed him so badly my bones ached.

  Lucas gripped the hem of my strapless top and pulled it over my head. I hadn’t worn a bra tonight, so I was left standing in nothing but my pale pink knickers. His gaze fell to my curves and that rickety self-control of his cracked wide open. He sucked a breath of air in through his nose, tugged his shirt over his head, every muscle tensing, and pulled me to him.

  His lips crashed down on my mine and he kissed me with a fervour I couldn’t match. He sucked, grazed and kissed at my neck, décolletage, and down to the sensitive peaks of my breasts, spearing me with sensation. I quivered as his hands groped my flesh and his tongue lathed my swollen nipples.

  I needed his remaining clothing off. Now. I wanted to see and touch all of him. I helped him out of his jeans and briefs, and he slid my knickers down to my ankles, let them drop to the floor. I eyed his erection, long and tight and oh-so-fucking big. Veins darted across the surface while the head glinted with a small pearl of pre-come. I licked my lips and groaned. Fingers dug into my hips as he kissed me again with tongue and heat, my naked chest against his hard, hot chest — burning skin on burning skin. Pleasure sluiced down my sweat-misted body, crept between my thighs.

  He pressed his thumb against my clit and circled around the tight nub. Needing more, I opened my legs wider. His thick middle finger slid into my centre and still he caressed with his thumb. I gasped against his mouth — the stimulation so intense. And still he fingered in and out of my slick entrance, his thumb relentless.

  Oh my fucking God.

  I started to slide down the wall, my legs crumbling beneath me.

  Lucas caught me by my waist, lifted me into his strong arms and I straddled him tightly.

  ‘Let’s go to the bedroom,’ he growled

  ‘Can’t wait. Need you,’ I breathed, words punctuated with kisses.

  Lucas growled again, a deep rumble from his chest. ‘You’re killing me here. I’m about to explode.’

  ‘Need you now.’

  He gripped my arse, lifted me higher. Slowly, he lowered me back down, his thick steely length pushing into my depths, stretching my walls until he was buried deep inside. I clenched tighter around him as he moved, his pelvis grinding against my clit, igniting me.

  Lucas squeezed his eyes shut. ‘Oh, hell, Anthy. Just give me a second or this is going to be over too quickly.’

  But I couldn’t wait. Lust raged in my blood. I ached for that cock to plunge harder, to feel him so deep inside me. I rocked against him, my nipples grazing his chest. He gave in to the yearning with a sigh of surrender and thrust deep and hard, my back thudding against the wall with a building rhythm. Lucas shifted me so my legs hung over his elbows, spread so wide for him. I couldn’t move like that with the wall at my back, his body smothering my front. I was at his mercy and this thought drove me wild. I twisted my fingers in his hair, trailed hands over his strong tattooed body, and kissed him deeper as my body rocked to his rhythm. His cock swelled tight inside me. His voice was tattered, breathless. ‘You feel so good.’

  Pleasure flamed at his words and I clenched tighter around his cock, gripping him. My chest was heaving and still he thrust up deep inside me, pressure hitting that special spot inside my walls, turning me to melted butter in his arms.

  His muscles jerked as he fought his release. The raspy breaths, the rapturous groans hissing between his teeth, burning hot against my mouth, my ear, pushed me over the edge. My thighs squeezed, my belly tightened. I was going to come — hard.

  I sucked in a breath and let the pleasure have its way with me, tumble through my centre and flitter along my limbs. My walls convulsed around his hard length, milking him, and I moaned his name to the air like a woman tortured. A ragged gasp and he jerked harder into me.

  ‘Arrggh, Anthy,’ he groaned as warm bursts jutted deep inside me.

  My skin burned. My chest heaved. I fell against him, my head resting on his shoulder.

  He took another long breath and blew it out.

  Still in his arms, he carried me towards his bedroom. ‘Now we’re going to do that again, but slower.’

  I giggled, still lax in his arms. ‘That sounds perfect.’

  ***

  The shrill of the phone cut through the silent room shattering my deep sleep. I woke with a start, sat upright, my heart thumping. I squinted and looked around the room for the sound. It was dark and I was confused. This wasn’t my room. And then I remembered last night, making love to Lucas, and my sex clenched.

  Lucas’s bedroom. I peered at his huge sleeping frame and grinned. But still the phone shrieked. On knees, I walked across the bed, over to my jeans and shoved my hand in a pocket. I pulled out my mobile and crackled, ‘Hello.’

  ‘Anthy.’ It was Roslyn’s urgent voice.

  ‘Ros? What’s happening?’

  There was a short silence. ‘Brendt broke up with Rachel last night.’

  I shook my head and ruffled a hand through my hair. ‘What? Why?’

  ‘He said that he doesn’t think they’re meant to be together in the long run.’

  ‘I don’t…I can’t…oh my God. How is she?’

&nbs
p; ‘Really upset. I’ve never seen her like this before. She’s left for the airport. Paid over six hundred dollars for a flight to Cairns to spend some time with her mum.’

  I slumped back onto the bed. ‘Maybe that’ll do her some good. I can’t believe this, though. Have you spoken to Brendt?’

  ‘Yeah. Last night. He’s pretty shattered too.’

  ‘Should I give her a call?’

  ‘I wouldn’t just yet. Give her a few days to let it settle in.’

  ‘You’re probably right. Should I call Brendt? See what’s going on?’

  There was a short silence. ‘Um, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’

  My heart pulsed in my temples. ‘Okay.’

  Roslyn sighed. ‘I’m sorry to ring so early, but I thought I should let you know.’

  ‘Thanks. I’ll talk to you later, hey.’

  ‘Yep. See ya.’

  I groaned and tossed the mobile onto the mattress at my feet.

  Lucas was awake and rolled onto his side, wrapped an arm around me and kissed my cheek. ‘What was that about?’

  ‘Brendt broke up with Rachel last night. Seems he doesn’t think she’s the one he should be spending the rest of his life with. And he only realises this now, nearly two years into the relationship?’

  ‘He obviously had his reasons, Anthy.’

  I nodded, pulling on my ear, my stomach twisting and knotting. I just hoped like hell that I wasn’t that reason.

  Chapter 18

  Anthea

  My stomach was fluttering and the muscles of my shoulders were already tight anticipating the imminent weight of work. I showered and dressed into a black pencil dress, sheer stockings and a pair of mid-heel sling backs. I straightened my hair, tied it into a loose knot on my head and applied makeup.

  As I strode down the hallway to my cubicle, I was already back in work mode, as though just smelling the fusty papery scent of the office ignited that part of me used to the routine of work.

  I poked my head into Sabine’s office. It looked as though every piece of paperwork that had gone through the office in the last year was piled on her desk or on filing cabinets and, when they were full, on the floor.