Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  I looked at the time and noticed it was getting late. “You’ve got to get to work.”

  “I took the night off work. I wanted to be with you.”

  I smiled, loving how he always seemed to think of me and thrilled that I would get to spend the day with him. “Your place then? I don’t want to be there when they come pick her up.”

  “Yeah, we can go there. I’ll follow you.”

  Once in my truck I called Dad and told him what was going on. I let him know I had the money for the truck, that I’d deposit it in the bank so he could give them a check. He said he’d handle it and to tell Sean he said hi. We got to Sean’s house and had a light lunch. We talked about anything but horses and I was thankful for that. I was tired of my heart aching and wanted a break, even if it was just for a little while. We finished our lunch and he cleared our plates. I stood up and went over to the sink to start washing them. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned back into him, his warmth comforting me. I felt a tug in my stomach when he leaned down and began kissing my neck. Heat flooded my body and I groaned when he lightly nipped at my earlobe and I turned into his arms.

  “Let’s go to your bedroom.”

  ***

  I listened to his heartbeat pounding against my ear as my head lay on his chest, our legs tangled together under the sheets. I didn’t want to leave but knew I had to.

  “I’ve got to get back home and do chores. I can’t leave Dad to do everything. He’s done so much for me today as it is.”

  “I know. I’m just glad I could spend the day with you and be here for you.”

  “You have and I’m so thankful for it. How about brunch tomorrow before you go to work?” I suggested.

  He shifted slightly. “I can’t tomorrow. I have some things to take care of before work but how about we get away Saturday night? Let’s go up to Evans for the weekend.” He kissed my forehead and I nodded.

  “That would be nice. I need to get away. Dad could handle one night, and I’ll bribe him with food.”

  “Good, then be at my place about noon and we will head out.”

  “It’s a date.” I grinned and kissed his nose before I rose to get dressed.

  FOURTEEN

  “Are you sure you don’t mind, Dad? You’d just need to feed Saturday night and Sunday morning. I’ll be home before Sunday evening.” I was feeling guilty for leaving him so soon after Legacy’s death.

  “This isn’t my first rodeo, Celeste. I think I can handle feeding the horses. Go and have fun.”

  “I just feel guilty leaving you when you’ve done so much for me. It’s so nice that Sean is taking me away to help me heal from Legacy.”

  “It’s very nice. He’s a good guy so go and have fun. Besides, the rib eye steak dinner you made me was payment enough. I’m stuffed.”

  I gave him a big hug and kiss. “Thanks Dad. I love you!”

  “Me too. Now go so you don’t keep him waiting.”

  I picked him up early and Sean loaded his things up into my truck. I felt excitement as we headed up to the little mountain resort of Evans. Sean told me he had made reservations at a little B&B so we could have a little more privacy. We pulled into a charming place that had little wood cabins scattered around in a cul-de-sac. Towering pines hid them and gave the impression that each building was secluded. He went in to register and came back out with the key and directions to our cabin. We drove around, found our place and unloaded our suitcases. I walked in and felt my breath catch. Though small, the inside boasted a rock gas fireplace, a hot tub in the corner, large queen sized bed and an enormous bathroom. The large windows were flanked with tall pines to offer exterior seclusion and give the impression we were miles away from civilization.

  We deposited our suitcases and I ran to the fireplace, sitting on the stone hearth. “I love fireplaces!” I laughed. “This is so nice.” I got up and walked over to him, kissing him and catching him off guard. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome and I’m glad you like it.” he smiled.

  I eyed the bathroom and smiled mischievously. “I’ll be right back.”

  I grabbed my suitcase and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I left my silky black blouse on but stripped my pants and undies off. My blouse fell to my mid-thigh and tapered up the sides. I put on a pair of black lacey underwear, fluffed my hair, sprayed some perfume on and checked my make-up. As I turned away, I unbuttoned several buttons on my blouse and glanced down at my cleavage. Time to christen our room, I giggled to myself and opened the door. Sean turned and gasped in surprise at my scantily dressed attire.

  “Ready for a little fun?” I teased, running my finger down the front of my shirt.

  “Um, well. I really need to talk to you first, Celeste.”

  I felt a lurch in my stomach, not only from being rejected but wondering what could be so important that it took second place to having sex. I took a wary step. “You do?”

  “Yeah, can you sit down?”

  Shit, I thought as I went over to the stone hearth and sat down, the cold stone not even registering on my bare thighs.

  He came over and sat on the floor in front of me. “We’ve been kind of moving fast and so much has happened…”

  My mind went numb and I began trying to piece things together. Things had been going fast and then I had my melt down with Legacy’s death. And here I was, half-naked in front of him and he wanted to talk. Not fool around, talk. That could only mean one thing. He was still talking, talking but I wasn’t hearing, my heart starting to break while my mind was trying to listen. My heart was screaming that this was the end and my mind didn’t want to hear it.

  “…so Celeste, I was wondering…” he grabbed my hand in his, “would you be my wife?”

  I stared at him, still trying to understand, then looked down at the sparkling diamond ring nestled in the tan leather box he held in his other hand. “What?”

  “I’m asking if you will marry me.”

  My heart fluttered again but the aching pain was replaced with pure joy. I looked at him again and grinned. “Yes! Yes! Of course I will marry you!”

  He blew out a breath and pulled the ring out, slipping it onto my finger.

  “I thought this was just a weekend to get away because of Legacy?”

  “I’d actually had this planned before she died. That’s why I couldn’t meet you for brunch yesterday, I had to go pick up the ring.” he smiled sheepishly.

  I kissed him, holding his face in my hands. I pulled away quickly. “My family! They’re going to be so surprised!”

  “They already know.”

  “What?” I stared at him blankly.

  “I asked your father’s permission to marry you. He gave me his blessing and no offense but your family talks a lot, so I have no doubt he’s told your mom and sister.”

  My family, what would they think? They’d seen me rush into my first marriage and all of the misery and mistakes we had made. How could I explain to them that this was different? That I had gotten married the first time because I was feeling like an old spinster at twenty-five, watching all of my friends get married and I wasn’t? That I didn’t know who I was or what I wanted to be when I grew up and guessed that marriage might be agreeable, to fill that hole in my soul. That this time was different because I knew who I was, what I wanted in life and that I truly loved Sean. And that I was considering having a family? That was my biggest fear. That they wouldn’t understand or approve of my thoughts about becoming a mother. If I even could.

  I had spent my entire twenties trying to convince my doctor to “fix” me because I knew I didn’t want kids. He hadn’t agreed, stating that I might change my mind, so he put me on the Depo-Provera shot when I was twenty-one. He made the deal with me that if I still didn’t want children when I turned thirty-two he would approve the procedure. Now just a couple months away from thirty-three I was having second thoughts.

  “What are you thinking? I’ve lost yo
u somewhere.” Sean touched my hand and brought me back to the here and now.

  I smiled at him and shook my head. “I’m a little embarrassed. Here I thought it was a sex filled weekend to help me heal from the loss of Legacy and all of this time you had a romantic weekend planned, to propose to me. And I’m sitting here, bare-assed on the fireplace hearth because I was going to jump your body.”

  “Bare-assed?” he raised an eyebrow enticingly and glanced at my bare thighs.

  “Well, I have undies on.” I blushed.

  “Why don’t you show me what you had in mind? Then we can go out to eat.” He slid his palm up my thigh and under my shirt, fingering the lace that lay underneath.

  I pushed him back onto the floor and leapt on top of him. “It went something like this.” I purred, nipping at his neck and tugging at his shirt.

  ***

  That night flew by and before I knew it, we were headed home. We had discussed wedding dates and how we were going to get married. He’d never been married before but wasn’t interested in spending a lot of money on pomp and circumstance saying “I do”. Having had the big ceremony with my first marriage and remembering all of the stress that went with it, I quickly agreed to a small ceremony. Family and a couple close friends were all we needed. With that agreed upon we decided we didn’t need a long engagement period either. We were both in our thirties and figured we knew what we wanted. Knowing my favorite month was October, he suggested we get married then. I was touched and pleased he suggested it.

  “But it has to be on an even day.” I warned.

  He frowned, “Why an even day?”

  “I just like even days. Even numbers are lucky and I know it’s silly but I would like an even day.”

  “Okay, what day to you have in mind?”

  “Well, the twelfth is a Saturday, we could do it then.”

  “Okay, the twelfth of October it is.” he smiled.

  “Sweet.” I giggled. “I can hardly wait to tell everyone.” and glanced down at my ring for the millionth time.

  When I got back home, my Dad greeted me outside as I pulled my overnight case from the truck. “Did you say yes?”

  “I did! I’m so excited!” I beamed and showed him the ring.

  “He did a good job. Have time for a cup of coffee?”

  “I do.” I said warily, noticing stress lines on his face. “Is everything alright? Are the horses fine?”

  “The horses are good. Everyone is okay.” he said as he poured two cups of joe and handed me one.

  I followed him into the living room and sat down on the couch. “What’s going on, Dad?”

  “Well, you’ve got a great guy and are getting married now. You’re getting on with your life which is what’s right. What’s not right is having your father living with you. You’re starting your life with this man so I’m going to move back into the retirement home.”

  I felt all of the joy flow out of my body. “What? Why?”

  “Because you’re starting your life with Sean. You don’t need me around to get in the way.”

  “You’re not in the way! You are my family and he’s fine with that!” I stood up and slammed my coffee cup onto the end table. “How can you do this to me?”

  My father stared at me wide-eyed. “Do what, honey? I’m giving you your life, to start it with Sean and not have me as baggage.”

  “No! You’re making me choose between you and him! You are a part of my life. We agreed when you moved in! I won’t marry him then! Are you happy?”

  I stormed off to my room and slammed the door, throwing myself onto my bed sobbing. How could he even do this? This was supposed to be my happy weekend and here he was, talking about moving out. I heard him talking and tried to force his voice out of my head. It was a few minutes later when I heard a tentative knock on my door.

  “Celeste, your mother wants to talk to you.”

  Even though my parents were divorced, they remained friends and saw and talked with each other regularly. I wasn’t surprised he called her.

  “Fine.” I yelled, then got up, opened the door and took the phone from him, unable to meet his eyes. I grabbed my cigarettes and went out onto the porch.

  “Yeah.” I spoke into the phone.

  “Are you alright?” she asked.

  Hearing the concern in her voice made me breakdown again. “No, I’m not! This was supposed to be a wonderful weekend and here he is threatening to move out. How am I supposed to feel?”

  “I know but just for a moment, put yourself in your father’s shoes. You’re getting married, another man is moving in. He doesn’t feel like there is room for him. He doesn’t want to be in the way or a burden.”

  “He’s not in the way or a burden, he’s my dad!”

  “Have you explained that to him?” she asked gently.

  I hesitated. “I thought he knew. But no, I just yelled at him.”

  “Well, that is the way you two communicate but I think it would help if you sat down and explained how you feel.”

  “Yeah, maybe.”

  “One thing you need to think about, Celeste, is your father was born when people didn’t live together before they got married. With respect to him, I don’t think you two should live together until after you're married.”

  “Mom, he’s not dumb. He knows I’ve been having sex with Sean.” I countered, still feeling raw.

  “But have you been having sex with him there?” she retorted.

  “No! I’d never do that!” I exclaimed, horrified at the thought of my father in the next room, then realized it was going to happen after Sean and I got married.

  “Well he doesn’t like to think of his daughter having sex either but being married changes things in his mind. So if you want him to stay, don’t move in together until you’re married. And I’ll talk with him also.”

  “Really?” I sniffed.

  “Really.” she promised. “So how was your weekend?”

  “It was so awesome, Mom!” and told her about his proposal.

  FIFTEEN

  I told Sean about Dad’s decision to move out and he surprised me with his response.

  “That’s just not right. That’s his home too. Do you want me to talk to him?” he offered.

  I smiled and kissed him. What a great guy. “No, I’ll talk to him but out of respect for him I think we should wait for you to move in until after we are married.”

  “That’s no problem. That gives my roommates time to find another renter and get things cleaned up.”

  I nodded and paused. “We’ve never talked about it but you’re okay with moving into my house?”

  He nodded. “It makes sense. You own your home and you have the horses. Is that alright with you?”

  “It’s more than okay with me. I love where I live. I need to get caught up with the mortgage but I can work some overtime. That should help.”

  “Let me help you with that. I don’t have a lot in savings but let me see what I can do.” he offered.

  “No!” I exclaimed. “Thank you but I’ll get it caught up. It’ll be fine.”

  “Celeste, we’re going to be married. It’s going to be our problem.”

  “I appreciate that but I’m the one who left her career. And I’m glad I did or I wouldn’t have met you. I’ll get it fixed before we get married.”

  “Okay but know the offer stands.”

  “I will, Sean. Thank you.” I smiled to myself, completely in love with this guy.

  I went to work Monday with a renewed desire to make this job work but became quickly disappointed. Even though my boss had assured me he would take care of my work tickets, I found that my name had been removed from the tickets and another service writer’s name had replaced them, which meant I wouldn’t get paid for any of them. To add insult to injury, I found the tickets I had already sold work on had also been changed to someone else’s name. All those commissions now belonged to someone else who had not done the work. I took a deep breath to hold onto my composure
and reminded myself that I had already put my two weeks in. I answered questions with yes’s and no’s and when asked about my weekend, responded that it was fine. My only joy came from my phone calls at lunch from Sean before he went to work. It already felt like we had been apart forever and the coming weekend was a year away.

  We were already telling our friends and family that we were engaged and excited about our upcoming nuptials. I tried to focus on our wedding plans and it eased the frustration of being at a job that I felt just used me. I counted down days, then hours till the weekend and we spent our first weekend as an engaged couple at the Holiday Inn, sequestered in our room. We had all of our food brought to our room, relishing every minute we had together. I hated being away from him during the week.

  “One more week?” he asked after hours exploring my body.

  “Yep, one more week before I come back to the plant. I’m on second shift in SMT and they gave me a raise. I’ll still have to work some overtime to get caught up with the mortgage but at least I’ll be able to see you every day.” I sighed.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to help out?” he asked.

  “I’m sure. I want to fix this before we get married.” I rolled over and sighed contentedly again. “I’m starving. How about you?”

  “Room service then go sit in the hot tub?” he suggested.

  “Sounds divine. It takes twenty minutes or so for room service, right?” I grinned.

  “Yep.” he grinned back, knowing exactly what was on my mind.

  “Order first!” I giggled.

  ***

  Another week started, my last week of being away from Sean and all of my friends at the plant. I could get through this last week. I still had the issue of catching up with my mortgage and with most of my tickets being taken out of my name I knew this next check was going to be even smaller. But working overtime at the plant, putting in the same hours I was at the dealership, should be more than enough to make up what I was losing financially.