Holding a Hero

by Layne, Lyssa

  I raced to my car for lunch knowing Sean would be calling. I smiled as I saw his number pop up on my screen.

  “Hi, gorgeous!” I sang.

  “Hey. How are you doing?” he answered.

  I frowned at the casualness in his voice. “I’m doing better now. How was work last night?”

  “It was alright. We were down at the wave so I was over in surface mount all night.”

  “Cool. That’s where I’m supposed to be starting next week. Is it hard?” I asked.

  “No, it’s not.” he answered blandly.

  “Sean, what’s wrong?”

  “I think we need to talk.”

  “Talk about what? You’re scaring me.” I asked.

  “Are you marrying me because of my money?” he demanded.

  I hesitated, unsure if I had heard him right. For years I was making almost a triple digit income and this was the first time I was making a lower wage. I felt myself bristle. “No, Sean, I am not marrying you for your money. Why would you even ask that?”

  “Well, I was talking to some of the guys and the situation about the house came up. They said that you were probably marrying me for my money to save your house.”

  My mind raced through “the guys” that he kept company with and Jose popped into my mind. Jose had gotten his girlfriend pregnant at a very young age and had been forced to marry her. Ten years later he was still married, albeit bitter, and was known to still party and have extra marital affairs. He’d actually had the audacity to hit on me when I worked at the plant before I started dating Sean.

  “Jose told you that didn’t he?” I asked indignantly, feeling myself getting pissed.

  “Well, yes, but he’s just looking out for me.”

  “Well let’s just put this matter to rest.” I seethed. “The wedding is off until my mortgage is square. Deal?”

  “I didn’t say…” he stuttered.

  I cut him off. “Yes, you did. So now you and your friends don’t have to worry about my intentions towards you. Now I have to go back to work. I hope you have a good night.” I hung up on him and finished the cigarette that I hadn’t even realized I had lit. I ignored his calls and made my way back into work. My mind began to whirl. Maybe I shouldn’t go back to the plant? Maybe I should find another job at a different dealership, make the money I knew I could. Then there would be no question in Sean’s mind that I was marrying him because I loved him. Damn men.

  I made it through the day and numbly drove home. A cold beer, a hot shower and playing with my horses would soothe my soul. I felt my stomach clench when I saw my neighbor standing in the driveway. She was normally reclusive so seeing her standing there, I became concerned.

  “Hi, Celeste.” she greeted me as I stepped out of my truck.

  “Hi, is everything okay?” I asked.

  “I hope so. I made something for you. I hope its okay. I know how much you loved Legacy so I cut the hair of her mane and tail off before they took her away.”

  “What?” I asked numbly.

  “I made this for you.” she said as she held up a huge leather and rawhide wrapped dreamcatcher with Legacy’s beautiful black and white mane and tail hanging from it. It was accented with silver pendants of a horse head and feathers. It was exquisite and I burst into tears.

  “It’s beautiful!” I cried.

  She started crying herself and we hugged each other.

  “I didn’t know if you’d be angry or not but I couldn’t let her beauty go to waste.” she explained.

  “I love it. It’s so beautiful. Thank you so much.”

  “You’re welcome. And again, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  We said our goodnights and I went inside to show Dad my treasure. I didn’t talk about my conversation with Sean, deciding it could wait until later. Plus things were still a little raw between Dad and me, not having completely resolved things between us. I went to bed that night grieving for my filly, for the fight Dad and I had about our living situation and for the fight I had with Sean. I wondered if I had lost my love, and my future husband.

  SIXTEEN

  Because I work such long, stressful hours in the automotive world, I made it a habit to get up extra early. This gives me the time to take my shower, enjoy a cup or two of coffee, maybe watch a little TV and watch the sun come up. My bedroom windows are large and face the east which also overlooks my barn and corrals. In the summer I keep my windows open and allow the fresh air to flow in.

  I had finished my shower and was huddled under my covers, applying my make-up and watching the morning news. It was just after four a.m. and the air had the beginning of a fall bite. I heard a horse snuffle and looked at Legacy’s dreamcatcher, wishing it was her that I had heard. I began to apply my eye shadow when I heard my name. I froze, realizing it wasn’t coming from inside the house.

  “Celeste.”

  I heard it again and felt my heart begin to pound. It was coming from my window but I didn’t see anything. I suppressed a scream as a face emerged against my screen.

  “Sean! You scared the shit out of me! What are you doing here?” I yelped, trying not to wake up my dad.

  “We need to talk. I don’t want to put off our wedding.”

  “Well it’s not an option now.” I declared. “Come inside before you get shot by the neighbors.”

  I snuck to the front door and let him in, making my way back to my room. We both sat down on my bed after I shut my door.

  “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be asleep.” I whispered.

  “I couldn’t. I came here after I got off of work and waited until I saw your bedroom light come on.”

  “Sean, that was over three hours ago!”

  “I needed to talk to you.”

  “You did. Obviously you have issues with my mortgage being behind so I fixed it. We’ll get married after I get the mortgage caught up.”

  “I don’t want to wait. I want to keep our date.” he stated.

  “Sean, it’s clear that you have concerns and I want to ease your mind that I’m not marrying you for your money.”

  “I know you’re not. I really do. I just get worried that I’m not good enough for you. You’re so amazing, so beautiful and when we are apart, those doubts raise their ugly heads. Those guys don’t matter. They’ve made a mess out of their own lives and they’re not going to drag me down to their level. I’m happy when I’m with you and that’s all that matters.”

  I leaned over and hugged him. He pulled back and kissed me, soft and unsure at first but when I flicked my tongue over his bottom lip he hungrily took my mouth. His kiss deepened and I felt the hot lava flow through my body. Would I ever get enough of him? It honestly didn’t feel like it. I wanted to melt into him, forget our fight, focus on his touch, his kisses, his passion. But for now we had unfinished business that kisses and sex couldn’t fix. I gently pushed him back and smiled at him.

  “I appreciate you coming out here but what’s been said can’t be taken back and needs to be addressed. If it was important enough for you to bring up it means you took it seriously. And even though it hurt my feelings I can see where you are coming from. Since our conversation I’ve been thinking of what you said and it would probably be best if I find another job at a dealership, where I’m making the money I should be. It will only take me a couple months to get caught up and we should be good.”

  “I don’t want to put off the wedding.” he stated.

  I nodded. “Okay, we don’t have to but if I work at a dealership that legitimately pays me, it would help us out a lot.” I frowned when he shook his head.

  “There’s no guarantee the next place won’t screw with you either and we’re still on different shifts and never see each other. I miss our time together and working together. I want you to come back to the plant. And I had another idea that might help.” he paused and I waited for him to continue.

  “What if, after we get married, we refinance the house? That would catch the mortgage up and wit
h both of our incomes from the plant, we could make the payments just fine.”

  I wasn’t sure what to think. It sounded like a great idea but it would also mean taking Dad’s name off of the title. Would he think we were slowly pushing him out of the house? I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Dad again. I had just convinced him that he should stay, that he wouldn’t be imposing upon our lives.

  “It sounds like a good idea but I’d want to make sure Dad was okay with it.”

  “Absolutely. He’s family and he’s staying, even if I have to hog tie him.”

  I smiled at him and felt my heart swell with love. “I don’t think you have to go that far, I’ve convinced him to stay. But thank you. I love you so much. How did I get so lucky?”

  “That’s what I keep asking myself about you.” he whispered and kissed me again.

  I pushed him back after we had a few minutes of getting carried away. “I’ve got to get to work and you’ve got to get some sleep. Today’s my payday. We’ll see how little I get paid today.”

  He kissed me quickly on the lips and stood. “But you’ll start back at the plant Monday?”

  I nodded and walked him to his car. “Two more days, then a weekend of enjoying each other.”

  “I’m looking forward to it.” he smiled, giving me a hug and kissing my forehead.

  “I’m not going to call you on my lunch today. You need your sleep.”

  “Alright but I’ll call you on my lunch around seven.” he promised.

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  ***

  The morning went pretty fast and I found myself in a great mood. Sean and I were back on track and I only had two more days here. Several technicians complained that they were going to miss having a competent advisor in the shop and I thanked them for that. At twelve-thirty, the manager came through and handed out paychecks. Knowing I was going to be disappointed again and not wanting to ruin my current mood, I stuffed the sealed envelope into my purse. I’d look it over when I was sitting in my truck having lunch. I manned the phones while my co-workers ripped open their checks and made out deposit slips. I watched the desk while everyone took turns going to lunch. It was a little after two when I was finally able to head out to my lunch. I grabbed my purse and keys and went out to the truck. I was halfway through my sandwich when I finally opened my check.

  I started choking on my sandwich and yelled out. “What the fuck?” I put my sandwich down and flipped open the check to expose the statement portion of my check. Was this a joke? My check was three times the amount it had been before. I went over the numbers to look for discrepancies or bonuses. I couldn’t find any. I called Dad and told him about my check.

  He chuckled after I had read everything on my check. “They’re trying to bribe you to stay, Celeste.”

  “That’s exactly what my first thought was, Dad!”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I don’t like this, Dad. Why couldn’t they have paid me what they promised from the beginning? Now I have the plant that’s willing to take me back and if I back out now, they’ll never forgive me. But if I stay, who’s to say the dealership won’t jack my checks up again and then I’ve burned my bridge at the plant.”

  “The plant always paid you what they promised and worked with your hours.” he pointed out.

  “And I only have to put in eight hours a day, no weekends.” I added thoughtfully.

  “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind, Celeste. But can I point out one more thing?”

  “Yeah, of course. That’s why I called you.” I smiled.

  “Do you really want to work for a company who obviously has no problem screwing with your paychecks so drastically?”

  “Good point, Dad. Thanks.”

  “Hey, it’s what I’m here for.”

  I hung up and finished my lunch, thinking of how I was going to deal with my situation. Damn, I wish I could talk to Sean. I waited until the evening rush slowed down and the last customer came to pick up their cars. After the other service advisors left I went to my boss’s office and knocked on his open door. He looked up and grinned.

  “Celeste, come in.”

  “I wanted to thank you again for helping me dispose of my filly’s body.” I sat down in the chair across from his desk. I noticed he kept looking at the ring on my finger and though I hadn’t said anything to anyone at the dealership, word had spread that I was sporting a new piece of jewelry. I ignored his glances and pulled out my paycheck.

  “I was actually hoping I could talk to you about this.”

  He frowned as he looked over my check. “Is there a problem?”

  “Actually there is. See, I make photo copies of my log sheets to keep track of my commissions. None of my checks match any of my log sheets. Now I have a huge check and though I’m appreciative, I’m now wary. It doesn’t make sense to me. So what I’d like is an explanation of why, all of a sudden, two days before I’m supposed to leave, I have this size of a paycheck. If I can get the answers to that I might feel confident enough to stay. But if I can’t get logical answers to my questions I’m not going to stay because who’s to say my future checks won’t drop to shit again. I want answers so I’m giving you until Friday to find them for me.”

  “Um, well, you have a legitimate concern there and off of the top of my head I can’t tell you why but I’ll definitely look into it. I might need a few more days though. It might not be until next week.”

  I shook my head. “You have until Friday. I start my new job on Monday if you don’t”

  “I’ll see what I can find out.” he promised.

  “Thank you.” I grabbed my check and left, wondering if he truly would find answers to my questions. In my gut I already knew the answer.

  I had barely gotten home and completed my chores when Sean called. I quickly gave him a rundown of the day.

  He laughed. “They’re trying to bribe you.”

  “That’s what Dad said and I agree. It should be a couple of interesting days.”

  “What are you going to do if they can prove it’s legit?”

  “Then you and I will have a lot to discuss, in between my having my way with you.” I teased, “But you and I both know they won’t be able to.”

  He groaned over the phone. “You’re killing me. All I’ve thought about today was your body and getting my hands on you again.”

  “Mmmm. And me kissing and nipping your neck? I miss your hands on my body.” I teased. I felt slightly like a sadist but it felt wonderful having the power of being able to turn him on over the phone. I already knew he had that power over me. I also felt powerful, for having the courage to stand up for myself at work. It was a very freeing day. I focused back on Sean and sighed loudly.

  “But you need to go back to work and I need to go to bed, all by myself. I have a busy day tomorrow but I’ll dream of what I’m going to do to you this weekend.”

  “You are cruel. Beautiful but cruel. You know that?” he growled.

  “Mmmm, yes but in a good way I hope.” I laughed. “I love you, Sean.”

  “I love you more. Get a good night’s sleep and I’ll talk to you before I go to work tomorrow.”

  “Okay, good night.”

  SEVENTEEN

  I barely got my work dispatched to my technicians when my boss came over to me.

  “Celeste, the operating manager and owner would like to talk to you in the conference room. It’s up front and they are waiting for you.”

  I felt a nervous pang flutter in my stomach. What did the manager and owner have to say to me? I walked into the showroom and the front receptionist showed me where the office was. I walked into an empty room filled with a large conference table and about fifteen chairs surrounding it. Unsure of where to sit, I sat in the middle, facing the door. A moment later the owner and manager came in and smiled. The manager shut the door and both sat opposite from me. I had spoken with the owner before, his tall lanky form and silver blond hair styl
ed in an eighties feather. I had never met the manager before, his dark skin and black hair reminded me of a movie’s Mafia hit man.

  “Hello, Celeste. It’s been brought to our attention that you feel there have been some discrepancies in your past and present checks and we’d like to try and figure this out.” the office manager explained.

  I didn’t like the way he causally addressed me and didn’t introduce himself to me, though we had never met. I had a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach and I suddenly realized what this meeting was about. It was a bully session to get the poor, confused girl scared into submission. Man, they did not know who they were dealing with! I became very defensive and alert.

  “That’s correct.” I answered. “The numbers I have do not match my past, or my present check amounts.”

  “The numbers you have?” Mafia man asked.

  “Yes, I keep logs of my customers and the work I’ve sold.” I answered.

  “You keep logs?”

  I was getting tired of the questioning. “Of course I do.” I noticed that the owner had not spoken yet.

  “Well, do you realize it’s illegal to take any sheets on our customers off of the property?” he sneered, leaning his bulky frame towards me.

  Knowing he was trying to scare me I squared my shoulders and leaned towards him. They weren’t here to give me any answers; they were here to scare me into staying. Dad was right. “Actually, in the state of Colorado, it’s not illegal to keep track of commissions in a commission based employment. I can tell by your conversation that you have no legal answers to my legal questions. You cannot bully me into submission.” At this point I was fuming and I stood up, leaning over him. “I have been in this field for over ten years. I know the in’s and out’s of repairs, warranties and internal repairs. I also have my degree in law, focusing on business law and criminal laws so instead of wasting any more of my time, I will go gather my logs on repairs of what I haven’t been paid for yet and get out of your hair.” I turned to look at the owner who still hadn’t said anything. “Have a good day, gentlemen.”