The Goblin Queen and the Sigil of Altazan (The League of Sinister Means Book 2)

by H. K. MacTavish

  “I bet it took a long time to save up all that gold,” I say. “How many years did I just wipe away? Two? Three? All of them?”

  “It is only money,” Gerald says.

  “You should tell your sister that.”

  Katie just stammers the words gold and gone while Leo walks over to see if Cassandra needs help shoving herself back into what’s left of that top. Oh! They were held up by that gold bit, were they? That gold bit that is gone now? Well, Cassandra might just be clothing challenged from here on out.

  “My sister will get over it,” Gerald says, rather curtly.

  “You sound upset over it. I thought heroes were above such base material desires,” I say.

  Katie screams.

  “What’s wrong?” Cassandra asks.

  “It’s all fucking gone!” Katie yells.

  “Language,” Leo says.

  “Don’t you language me! That bitch is going to get a boot in her cooch!”

  Oh, oh. I am, am I?

  “We can get more,” Leo says.

  “What Leo said,” Gerald says.

  “I’ll get that bitch for this!” Katie says. “I’ll rip her apart! I’ll…I’ll…”

  “Take a breath Katie,” Cassandra says.

  “Oh! Did she call me a bitch when I captured you? I honestly can’t remember,” I say. “I think her love for you may have some competition.”

  “My sister isn’t perfect,” Gerald says. “Love means you accept the person for who they are.”

  “Oh, don’t make me sick to my stomach,” I say.

  “Is Cassandra okay?” Katie asks.

  She’s finally noticed all that attention that Leo is giving her. You’d think she was mortally wounded and not just a victim of physics and bad decisions.

  “I’m fine,” Cassandra says, trying to tie those melons in way too little cloth. There is no way that is going to hold. It’s like she’s securing her chest with nothing but a thin strip of cloth and wishes.

  In a perfect world it would have been that loincloth around Leo’s meat wagon that would have been ripped off. Guess I can’t have everything.

  “Are you sure?” Leo asks.

  “I’m sure,” Cassandra says.

  “So, are Leo and Cassandra an item?” I ask.

  “Why would you want to know?” Gerald asks.

  “The way he’s fawning over her, it’s gratuitous. A little slippage of boobs and he’s so concerned. Oh, Cassandra! Are you okay? Do you need me to check to see if your boobs were injured in the fall?”

  I laugh.

  “They are just good friends, that’s all,” Gerald says. “You’re the only one taking pleasure in Cassandra’s downfall.”

  I snort. Downfall.

  “You know what I mean!” Gerald yells.

  I certainly do.

  “Let’s keep going. There are a couple of rooms left down this hall,” Leo says.

  “Good,” Katie says. “I can’t wait to find Gerald and give this bitch that took her some comeuppance!”

  “You’ve pissed her off now,” Gerald says.

  “A string of bitches in such a short time frame,” I say. “And what she wants to do to my cooch, well. That is certainly telling.”

  “Whatever Katie is planning you won’t enjoy it,” Gerald says.

  I remove the image from the wall and smile. The heroes may not have been stopped but I’m going to savor this victory.

  “I am glad she is upset,” I say. “Serves her right. All of you really.”

  “What was the point of that?” Gerald asks. “Taking their gold? Why?”

  “To hurt them, of course. Did you not notice the scratches they bore from that fight? And not one potion was quaffed. Not one word was uttered about their injuries.”

  “They are strong. They are just a few scratches. Nothing major,” Gerald says.

  “No. They know there is nothing that can be done about it. It is the seed of hopelessness,” I say. “All of their misfortunes will pile up. Their loss of you, their injuries that can’t be healed, their loss of gold; soon all of these misfortunes will break their backs and they’ll leave here, whimpering like a pack of puppies.”

  “I prefer to see the seed of conviction,” Gerald says.

  “Conviction? Because they aren’t smart enough to know that they’ll lose this endeavor? Bit by bit, they are getting weaker. I took that blasted dagger from Katie, I’ve hurt her more than I could have dreamed by doing that. I thought taking you would wound her the most. But her money? I did not expect that reaction. She was practically on the verge of throwing a temper tantrum!”

  I pretend to stomp my feet.

  “It isn’t fair! They took my gold from me! Whaa!”

  “You don’t know Katie at all. She was pissed. She wasn’t going to stomp her feet like a child,” Gerald says.

  “And Cassandra will have her hands full now. Literally, I’m not ashamed to admit,” I say.

  “You think that will stop her?” Gerald asks.

  “I’ve clearly wounded her pride,” I say.

  “You are delusional. By midnight you will be our prisoner or dead. Largely your choice,” Gerald says.

  “We’ll see about that. So far I have you as a prisoner while three remaining heroes limp towards me.”

  “Villains always get their comeuppance in the end,” Gerald says.

  “Always?” I ask.

  “Always.”

  “Care to make a wager?” I ask.

  “I don’t have to bet,” Gerald says.

  “But I thought you worshipped what’s her name? With all that loving the joys of life?”

  “Shara. And that doesn’t give me leave to live the life of a drunkard or a gambler.”

  “But gamblers worship her I bet.”

  “Some may,” Gerald says.

  “So, what joys of life do you partake in?”

  “None of your business,” Gerald says.

  “Seems to me that someone isn’t quite the devoted priest to Shara that they claim to be.”

  “My religious practices and beliefs are my business and mine alone,” Gerald says.

  “If you are ashamed to admit your short comings, that’s fine.”

  “They’re not…I enjoy plenty of life’s joys, thank you very much.”

  “I think you’re just a stick in the mud,” I say. “I bet Katie has all the fun for you.”

  “I’m not going to talk to you about my sister,” Gerald says.

  “You don’t have to say a word,” I say. “I’ve seen all that I need to.”

  “We won’t give up,” Gerald says.

  “Neither will I.”

  Seal the Passageway

  Where are the heroes at now? Oh, continuing to search through the old barracks. The next room will show them the entrance to the warrens. There are still some goblins coming and going. Maybe I’ll get lucky and a group of them will surprise the heroes.

  What if the heroes don’t finish exploring this floor? If they go down there, to the warrens, it will be the end of them. There is no way they can defeat all of my goblins, wounded as they are and without their priest to heal said wounds; even if they manage to go all the way to wherever the deep deep is. I can just write these three off and do what I wish to Gerald.

  “Your friends are still marching this way to their doom. I can give you a chance to save them,” I say.

  “If I sleep with you?”

  “I’ve moved beyond that,” I say.

  “What do you want from me then?”

  “Your servitude,” I say with a smile.

  “Am I that charming?”

  “A priest of my own would make a nice trophy.”

  “A pet then?”

  “You’ll be well fed,” I say.

  “I have faith in my friends,” Gerald says. “They will defeat you.”

  “If you say so,” I say.

  “Where are they now?”

  “Getting closer,” I say.

  They’re
just about at the entrance of the warrens now. I’ll show Gerald as they march to their deaths.

  I cast a spell and project the image on the far wall again…

  “This door is cracked open,” Cassandra says.

  “We must be careful,” Leo says.

  “Kick it in,” Katie says.

  “It’s open!” I yell.

  Leo backs up and kicks the door in anyway. Can you just open a door? Just one door? Please?

  The door flies open and the heroes rush into the last barracks. Well, former barracks. The goblins sometimes sleep there but usually out of laziness. They’ll sleep anywhere. When this place was a fortress this was one of the many barracks for the soldiers that were stationed here.

  The previous owner, the mercenaries, still used it as such but even still the beds were ratty and moldy and I wouldn’t lay down on one for any amount of wealth. The floor is far cleaner and goblins walk over that every day. That should tell you how dirty those beds are.

  “No one here,” Katie says.

  “Where does that go?” Cassandra asks as she points to a hole in the far wall.

  “Some fissure…” Leo begins to say.

  “No,” Katie says. “It’s not just a crack in the wall.”

  Leo walks forward while Cassandra’s ball of light floats forward to illuminate what I already know is there.

  “It’s a cave,” Cassandra says.

  “This is how the goblins have been getting up here,” Leo says.

  “They must have taken Gerald down there!” Katie says.

  “No!” Gerald yells.

  “Ha! They will wander right into my army of goblins. I don’t care how good of a warrior your friends are, they are no match for the full strength of my goblins,” I say.

  Gerald looks concerned. He knows what awaits the others if they go down that cavern.

  “Still feel confident? Want to surrender to me? Give up?”

  “No…” Gerald says meekly. Then, with more conviction, “No. We’ll fight you until the end!”

  “So be it. Just remember I gave you a chance to save their lives.”

  Go on heroes! Chase Gerald down that cave!

  “We should finish checking out up here first,” Cassandra says.

  “Ha!” Gerald says to me.

  “Shut up!” I say.

  “No,” Katie says. She’s looking down that cavern. She really wants to go down that path. And I want her down there as well.

  “We don’t know where they took Gerald,” Leo says.

  “Yes, and they could have taken him down there!” Katie says.

  “Can your magic locate Gerald now?” Leo asks.

  “No…I cannot,” Cassandra says closing her eyes. “I dare not try. I’m too tired. If my spell backfires...”

  “Try,” Katie says. “Please.”

  “All right,” Cassandra says. She begins to cast a spell and nothing happens. And I know nothing will happen, because I am protected from that scrying crap. I scry, I am not scryed upon!

  “I can’t see him,” Cassandra says.

  “Damn it!” Katie says.

  “He might be too far away.”

  “Are we that far away?” Gerald asks.

  “You tell me,” I say. “Oh, you want me to tell you why she can’t look for us? Too bad.”

  The amethyst over my throat is more than just a decoration. But I’m not going to give my enemy that information. Let him look for runes scattered over the floor.

  “This could be something else entirely,” Leo says, looking at the cave entrance.

  “This part we are in could be her base,” Cassandra says. “Why would she live down there? This place is taken care of.”

  “Really?” Katie asks.

  “Far better than it should with goblins running around. If the Goblin Queen cares about this old fortress then it might be where she is holed up. This…this could just be where the goblins live,” Cassandra says.

  “We will come back to this. Remember, finish the floor you’re on, then move down to the next floor,” Leo says.

  “Is that some hero mantra?” I ask.

  “You have to be thorough. If we left rooms up here unexplored then something lurking could surprise us when we weren’t expecting it,” Gerald says.

  “Yeah, I know,” Katie says. “Let’s hurry up and get this over with.”

  “They’re coming this way,” Gerald says with a smile.

  “Doesn’t matter,” I say. “My goblins will just stab them in the back.”

  “What about any goblins coming up?” Katie asks. “I really don’t want to get stabbed in the back.”

  “I can cast a barrier on it,” Cassandra says.

  “Can you afford to?” Leo asks.

  “Can we afford not to?” Cassandra asks.

  Seal the way to the warrens? No! Absolutely not! I need my goblins! I need to stop this now!

  “You look worried,” Gerald says.

  “Shut up!” I yell as I run to the altar.

  Alistair has a summon spell, right? Where is his book? Here! Come on…at the back of the book if I remember. Here…sacrifice a rune? And what is this about downsides? Bah! I don’t have time! I have no choice! I have to stop her!

  I begin casting, waving my hands. This better pulverize the heroes!

  “What is that?” Leo asks as Cassandra begins casting her spell. It’s too bad for Cassandra that I finish first!

  “Look!” Katie yells.

  Cassandra stops casting and turns as the runes that I placed in that room give birth to a golem of stone. Arms reach out of the ground pulling up a twisted humanoid form with an oblong head, heavy arms that look like strange pillars on what looks like strong and uneven legs. The golem’s steps are not shaky despite its appearance. It looks around and sees the three targets in front of it.

  “What is that?” Gerald asks.

  “A stone golem,” I say proudly. Gerald looks scared. Have I done it? Is this what the heroes will fall to? Pound then into nothing!

  “What have you done?” Gerald asks.

  “I’m bringing about the end of your little adventuring party,” I say. “I said you should have surrendered to me.”

  The golem swings at Katie, but she dodges out of the way. She stabs the golem but it doesn’t do anything.

  “Stop it!” Gerald says.

  “I can’t. I had to sacrifice the runes in the room to summon him. All I can do is watch.”

  “…get back!” Leo yells as he charges in. Ah, the brave fighter. He takes one on the chin, literally, and flies back ten feet skidding to the ground.

  “Leo!” Cassandra and Katie yell. The golem steps towards Leo, ignoring Katie. This is great!

  “Golems are unstable,” Gerald says.

  “So? I’m safe here,” I say.

  “You can’t control it!” Gerald says.

  “Yes, I know what you meant by unstable. I don’t need to control it,” I say. “It just needs to smash!”

  “Get away from him!” Katie yells, trying to stab stone to death. It doesn’t have a vital spot Katie. My goblins would be excellent at killing golems.

  Cassandra casts a spell, a bolt of lightning flashes before my eyes. The golem seems to scream. Well, I guess magic spells can still wound it.

  The golem steps forward, raises its mighty arm back and smashes Cassandra!

  Damn! She fell backwards and avoided most of the blow. She’s on her back and bleeding from some stone shards that flew into her leg and side but she is otherwise alive. What is Katie doing? Feeding Leo? No!

  Leo is getting up again. Great. Just…how many of those potions do you have?

  “You have my thanks,” Leo says.

  Screw you Katie!

  “It may not have done much for us in the long run. How are we supposed to defeat this? It’s hopeless!” Katie says.

  There’s the desperation I love to see in heroes.

  “With magic. We need to keep it off Cassandra,” Leo says as he
charges the golem. He slashes at the golem doing nothing a stiff breeze couldn’t do. It draws the attention away from the wizard. Don’t fall for that! The wizard is the one that can hurt you! Smash the wizard you dumb pile of rocks!

  It swings at Leo, missing him.

  “No! Finish Cassandra off!” I yell.

  Cassandra gets to her feet. Her steps are staggered and she looks bad. The golem has its back to her as it tries to crush Leo and Katie. Both are just focusing on defending themselves.

  Cassandra is casting…what is she casting? Another lightning bolt?

  A bolt of lightning flashes and the golem is forced forward into Leo and Katie. But of course both manage to get out of the way. The golem turns and faces Cassandra as she casts again.

  “This way!” Leo yells at the golem.

  It’s ignoring him and the rogue! Finally! Go and charge! Crush the life out of that half naked wizard!

  Cassandra backs up, casting another spell. Another flash and another bolt of lightning. The golem screams in pain and charges Cassandra. I see a flash of a shield of energy right before the golem’s fist hits her.

  He knocks her onto her back but she gets back up quickly. The golem swings but misses her somehow. Is everyone a rogue now? Hit her!

  Cassandra casts another spell. This one isn’t a lightning bolt. What is it?

  The whole room flashes white. Even my scrying goes out of focus. The fuck was that? Come on! Show me the image! Where are you, you over…what is that sound?

  No…my cauldron is bubbling! She cast a disenchant spell and it is feeding back on the runes on my cauldron!

  “No, no, no…” I say. I try to cast a spell to save the runes. They are still glowing brightly. Too brightly. I cast another spell…

  The image isn’t back but I can hear the heroes talking over the bubbling of the water.

  “I had to weaken it,” Cassandra says.

  Oh, you’re so smart Cassandra! Good for you!

  The runes on my cauldron aren’t dimming! Come on! Stay enchanted! Stop bubbling!

  “Good,” Katie says.

  “Let me barrier this doorway now,” Cassandra says.

  “No…” I say as I hear Cassandra cast a barrier spell, sealing the warrens off from me! “No! You bitch!”

  And I can’t stop this cauldron from bubbling! The runes are glowing brighter and brighter! That is the opposite if what I want. Okay, let me try another spell, a mana sap spell. There. That should do it. Except it isn’t. The bubbling is getting worse? Why? None of my spells to stabilize the runes are working. I’m losing the cauldron! This can’t be happening? Why? It was just a disenchant…