Seeking Shelter

by Angel Smits

  * * *

  AMY HAD ALWAYS WANTED to visit the Grand Canyon. They’d talked about it in school and she was the only kid in her class who hadn’t been there. Her mother had always promised that someday they’d go. Someday. That had been her mom’s favorite phrase. Right up until the day she died.

  Now Amy sat on the back of the monstrous motorcycle she’d sworn she’d never get on, too close to Jace’s body, headed to the one place she’d always dreamed of seeing. This felt different from the trip to Phoenix. She’d been able to convince herself that was business. But now it felt very different.

  What was she doing? She had to be crazy to let him talk her into this.

  Was that why it felt so good?

  She swallowed back the laughter that bubbled up from her throat.

  Speed Limit. Stop, Wrong Way. No U-Turn... Amy watched the road signs fly by as they headed up the highway. Though Jace had pulled his hair back with a tight band, the wind tugged the strands loose. Seated so close behind him, it was as if they reached out for her, caressing her. She was thankful for her helmet, or the temptation to lay her head against his back would have been too much.

  The Harley ate up the road. With each mile, she was farther away from home, away from her daughter, away from the woman she knew she was supposed to be.

  Something inside her awoke, a longing she’d almost lost track of. Caryn would be proud. Amy laughed. If Jace heard her, he’d probably think she was crazy. And maybe she was. But wasn’t it grand?

  Jace drove easily through the Phoenix traffic. At first, she had to fight the urge to sit rigidly on the back of the bike. She came up with all kinds of scenarios in which she and Jace were splattered all over the pavement that whizzed by beneath them. But Jace had shown her before they ever left Rattlesnake Bend how to move with him and the bike.

  Her mind knew it, but her body struggled to give in. Leaning against him, joining his movements, was too intimate, too foreign...too tempting.

  He turned his head and called out to her. She could barely hear him over the roar of the bike and traffic, mixed with the muffling factor of the helmet.

  “Relax,” he said. His hand settled on her knee, gently reminding her of what he’d taught her.

  “I’m trying,” she yelled back, realizing when he winced that she’d practically screamed it in his ear. If he hadn’t laughed, she’d have probably kept worrying about that, too.

  Finally, they reached the outskirts of the city. Traffic thinned, and she heard the engine rev higher as they began to climb. The road was steep, and here the desert appeared more like what she’d seen in all those old Western movies Hank loved. The saguaros were tall, even thick like a cactus forest in places. There were blooms on many of the plants and the afternoon sun painted a bright gold over everything.

  She forgot to pay attention to the pavement and the traffic, and looked out at the world beyond. Instead of sitting rigidly, she relaxed against his frame. He patted her knee reassuringly and glanced back, this time with a smile.

  They climbed higher into the hills, not saying a thing, not really able to. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, though, for which she was thankful.

  A rest area seemed to leap out of the roadside, and Jace pointed, silently asking if she wanted a break. She nodded and he slowed to make the sharp turn.

  The silence when they stopped roared in her ears. When she climbed off the bike, her legs trembled, and she realized how long they’d been riding. Amy walked around, trying to get the circulation back as she removed the helmet.

  No wonder Jace didn’t wear one. Her hair was damp with sweat. The breeze ruffled through it, scattering the long curls across her face. She impatiently tried to yank them away, only to find Jace’s big hands in her way. Slowly, gently, he parted the tangled strands to clear her vision.

  “Thanks,” she whispered.

  “No problem. Welcome to helmet hair.” He laughed and did some walking around of his own.

  A few moments later, she came out of the ladies’ room to find him standing several yards away, gazing down the steep incline they’d climbed. The Vista was awe-inspiring. Amy felt as if they stood on the edge of the world, staring down at an endless valley that held desert and city alike.

  “Wow,” she said, coming up beside him.

  “Yeah. Amazing, huh?” His voice was soft and the look on his face pleasantly distant. “I can’t even imagine what the canyon’s going to be like. You ready?”

  She nodded. Peace settled over her. Jace took the helmet off the back of the bike, and instead of passing it to her as he had every other time, he carefully held it in one hand and gathered her hair in the other. Slowly, he lowered the helmet, settling it in place.

  Their eyes met and if she hadn’t had the helmet on, she’d have leaned into him.

  “Let’s go,” Jace said, breaking the spell.

  Amy stepped back, putting space between them. She swallowed. Hard. The idea of getting on the back of the bike again, so close to him, made her shiver.

  Rattlesnake Bend was in the southern part of Arizona, the hot, flat part of the state. She knew its heat, its personality, as well as she knew Hank or Caryn’s. Here, however, the landscape kept changing every few miles.

  Once they left the interstate, they traveled along a winding two-lane highway. They’d passed the sign indicating the boundary for the park a long distance back and now moved through a thick evergreen forest. Here, rather than beating down on them, the setting sun played hide-and-seek between the tree branches, reaching out and teasing them every little bit.

  She inhaled the sweet pine perfume and realized that the baked-earth scent she always associated with the desert was missing. The air slipping in and out of her lungs was cooler, almost damp. Strange.

  And yet she liked it. Liked it a lot.

  She hoped they’d reach the lodge soon. Curious about this man who’d become such a big part of her life, Amy realized she wanted to talk with Jace, wanted to know what he was thinking and feeling. She laughed. Yeah, like he’d share his emotions. She’d been around too many women lately. Still, she’d like to know.

  “Almost there,” he called over his shoulder, and she craned her neck to read the sign he’d seen ahead of them. The lodge was only two miles away.

  Suddenly, she was anxious to be there, to get off the bike and see what she’d only seen in pictures. The Grand Canyon. Her heart sped up and she had to force herself to relax.

  It was only moments later when they pulled into the parking lot and Jace silenced the engine. For a moment she sat there, drinking it all in. Finally, she climbed off, knowing she had to before he could.

  This time, she took off the helmet more carefully, afraid that if he helped her, she’d do something stupid, like touch him. To remove herself from the temptation, she stepped back several steps.

  “I’ll check us in.” Jace walked away without another word and disappeared through the rustic doors of the lodge.

  Amy thought about following him, but something made her stay here. She blamed it on the beauty around her, but knew she needed space away from him.

  “Here you go.” He returned more quickly than she’d expected, and he handed her a metal key attached to a battered plastic key chain, a similar key in his other hand.

  He didn’t say anything else, just led the way around the old, log-cabin-style building to the two rooms on the end.

  The shadows were thicker here, the sun blocked by the balcony overhead and a thick stand of pine. The playful sunshine was sinking away now and leaving behind a hint of the cool night to come. She unlocked the door.

  There wasn’t any luggage to carry into the room, as this was only an overnight trip, and a spur of the moment one at that. Amy felt silly walking in just to look around. She heard the door of the room next door close and envisioned Jace doing much
the same thing.

  Now what?

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “YOU WANT TO GO TO DINNER or head to see the canyon?”

  Amy spun around at the sound of Jace’s voice. He stood in the open doorway. She hadn’t closed the hotel room door, and really, there wasn’t any reason to. The evening was warm and they weren’t turning in just yet.

  “I...I’m not hungry,” she replied.

  Jace smiled. “Good. I grabbed one of those brochures you like so much.” He waved a paper trifold like the one she’d been looking at outside the restaurant in Phoenix. “It’s got all the trails. Come on. Let’s see what’s out there.”

  Jace took her hand. After riding pressed against his back all day, it seemed almost natural to touch him, so she didn’t pull away.

  They followed an unpaved path for several minutes. Dozens of tourists milled around them along the trail winding through tall ponderosa pines.

  Finally, they reached a side path and he took it, moving away from the crowds and the noise.

  The trail was smooth from the footsteps of all the hikers who had come this way made, not from any grooming process. It curved across the flat land, skirting a boulder or two before dropping downward.

  Jace was soon several feet in front of her, his stride longer and his steps more hurried. They came to a fork in the trail where two large rocks lay ahead, with one path leading between them. He stopped and grinned back at her, humor dancing in his eyes.

  “What?” She couldn’t help laughing at him, catching a glimpse of the boy he’d once must have been.

  He pulled a worn silver dollar out of his pocket. “Call it.”

  “Call what?”

  “Heads or tails.” His laughter echoed around the clearing.

  “Heads?”

  “Heads we go left. Tails we go right.” Jace flipped the coin high in the air, caught it with practiced ease and slapped it against the back of his hand.

  Amy wondered how many times he’d used this method to make decisions. Had he done so when he’d decided to stay in Rattlesnake Bend?

  Curious, she leaned forward to see the results. He pulled his hand back. “Heads.” Before she could say anything, he dodged past her and hurried around the rock. “Jace?” She followed, as she reached the other side, she froze. There, spread out before her in all its magnificence, was the Grand Canyon.

  Beautiful didn’t even begin to describe it. The layers of sandstone and the deep fissures in the earth took her breath away. Dusk’s shadows bathed the canyon walls in all the colors of sunset.

  Amy didn’t want to blink, much less look away. “It’s amazing,” she whispered, almost afraid of shattering the beauty.

  “Yeah.” Jace stepped up from where he’d been leaning against a giant boulder, drinking in the scenery just as she had.

  Closing her eyes, she breathed in the rich scents of the high desert—sage, dust, pine and distant water. It all mingled together, sweet and open.

  Jace again moved past her, his boots loud against the hard-packed dirt. As she watched him head down the trail, she realized how close they actually were to the steep drop-off of the cliffs. Nothing stood between them and the edge except a narrow metal rail. Though she could see where it was cemented to the rock, it didn’t reassure her. He didn’t seem at all bothered.

  “Jace, be careful.” She didn’t move from where she stood. It was picturesque, but the canyon floor seemed miles below.

  “Don’t worry.” He glanced over his shoulder and smiled at her. “Come on.” The trail kept leading downward, and at the next turn he stopped and looked back. “Are you coming?”

  Looking out at the view, she was fine, but as soon as she glanced down at the winding river so very far below, her heart seemed to stop. She couldn’t move. Her mouth went dry and she crossed her arms over her stomach, as if that might somehow keep her from falling. She shook her head, and Jace’s easy smile faded.

  “What’s the matter?” He came back to her.

  “Are you kidding?” She pointed at the cliff’s edge. “It’s too...dangerous.”

  “No. If you’re careful, it’s fine. Come on. The view on the next level down looks like it’ll be even more breathtaking.”

  Amy tried to take a deep breath, but it hurt to drag the air into her chest. “I...I can’t.”

  “Sure you can. Come on.” He wasn’t pushing, but she knew he was disappointed that she wouldn’t go with him. She’d miss something special and important to him. Who knew when she’d ever get the chance again? Swallowing her fear, she put her hand in his.

  He let her set the pace. She had no idea what lay ahead, and while she sensed his excitement, all she felt was fear.

  The trail dipped down to the rock edge of the canyon and cut between more stones. Amy put her other hand out and ran it along the solid wall, hoping to calm herself. It felt stable. Safe. They rounded the corner and something was different. Cooler air buffeted her, and the breeze grew stronger. She let go of Jace’s hand, following the wall instead. He moved out into the open, where the path dropped sharply, and he seemed to disappear off the edge of the earth.

  Amy bit back a scream when he vanished. She took a few tentative steps and found him again. Jace looked as if he were ready to leap off the ledge and take flight, the yearning in his face was so strong. She’d never seen him so still, so in awe.

  “You have to see this,” he whispered, not taking his gaze from the view.

  No, she didn’t. This was as far as she was going. She glanced back the way they’d come. The trail appeared solid and led up to even, safe ground. She longed to turn around. She’d seen enough. “Jace?”

  The panic in her voice seemed to register and he turned around and frowned. “Hey.” He walked over to her. “I’ll take care of you.” He smiled reassuringly now, not the open, excited smile of before.

  “I can’t get any closer to the edge.”

  “I’m not trying to scare you.” He moved near enough for her to feel his body heat, standing between her and the drop-off, blocking the frightening view, and her panic eased. For the first time since leaving the top of the canyon, she managed a full breath.

  She was being ridiculous. She was a grown-up. The park rangers wouldn’t let people come down these paths if they were unsafe. Right?

  Jace reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I know what it’s like to be afraid. I won’t force you to do this. I just thought you wanted to see the canyon.” His knuckle was warm as he stroked her cheek.

  “I do.” She felt stupid for letting her fears overshadow her common sense. Still...the edge was too close, too steep. “I’m being silly,” she admitted.

  “No, you’re not. You’re being cautious. We’ll take it slow, okay?” He grasped her hand again, moving more gradually down the path.

  They’d gone only a couple of feet when they reached the edge of the rock wall. The path was narrower here, and she longed to go back, but refused to give in to her fears. When her heel hit a loose rock, she stumbled forward. Jace’s grip on her hand tightened, but her hand slipped out of his, anyway.

  She heard herself scream, heard how it echoed back at her. She tried to catch hold of something, but the scrubby vegetation along the path was short to give her any purchase. She hit a sharp-edged stone and felt her ankle twist. Not badly, just enough to scare her.

  She scarcely breathed or moved as Jace rushed to her. He knelt in the dirt and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. His heart hammered against her cheek as she buried her face in his chest.

  Several long seconds passed before either of them even took a breath, but finally it was Jace who moved. Not to get up, not to leave her, but to settle them both on a rock ledge several feet back.

  Amy shivered.

  “Here.” He shif
ted around and sat behind her, in much the same way she’d rested against his back all day on the bike. His arms came around her, his legs aligning with hers. Warmth surrounded her, sinking deep into her spine. She leaned back, savoring it.

  “You’re safe,” Jace whispered. “I’m here.”

  Amy could feel him breathing in the sage-scented air, expanding his chest against her shoulder blades. “I...yeah.”

  He laughed nervously and the sound rumbled through her. She closed her eyes, taking comfort in his presence.

  “Sorry. That edge scares the hell out of you. I know you hate it.”

  “Yeah, that, too.” She tried to laugh, fighting to slow her racing heart.

  “It’s...so open here,” he murmured.

  He paused a long time and she wondered if he was going to say anything else. Finally, he did. “God, I love it. If I’d been born a few hundred years ago, I’d have probably hitched a lifelong ride with the Anasazi or maybe the Apache.”

  “Any horsepower will do?” Some of her humor was returning. It helped to be planted firmly on solid earth.

  “I need to be out in the open, Amy.” His words came out soft, rough. “When I was twelve, my dad was killed in a mining accident.”

  “Oh, Jace, I’m so sorry.” She felt him shrug, but knew it must still bother him. She waited for him to go on, thankful that he was finally sharing something of himself.

  “For years I’ve had nightmares about the cave-in that killed him. This openness just...” He trailed off as if he had no words to describe it.

  Knowing that, she saw the canyon as he must. The wide sky, the bright stars just blinking on, the shadows on the ground from the trees and bushes. No walls. No restrictions. A thought hit her and she twisted around to look at his face—what she could see of it in the fading light. “That’s why you don’t sleep indoors...or wear a helmet...or ride in a car.”

  She saw the nearly imperceptible movement of his throat as he swallowed. He stared out ahead of them as he nodded. “Yeah.”

  And then he looked down, his gaze clashing with hers.