Breathe

by Abbi Glines

  “I remember you from Spanish,” Peyton said, looking from me to Jax.

  When I glanced over at him, Jax attention seemed to be solely focused on me. He smiled reassuringly.

  “So, how do you two know each other?” Mary Ann asked, and all three sets of eyes went to Jax. Only Amanda seemed to remember my presence.

  Jax squeezed my hand. “I met her through a mutual friend. Then I fell under her enchantment, and I can’t seem to get enough.”

  I blushed, and all four girls got sappy smiles on their faces, and one of them even sighed. “Wow, I can’t believe Jax Stone’s girlfriend lives in Sea Breeze.”

  I started to correct her. I wasn’t Jax's girlfriend, and he would be gone soon.

  “Well--”

  “She worries about my privacy. But then, I like the fact she wants to keep me all to herself.” His hand squeezed mine, and I bit back a laugh.

  Amanda sighed. “Does my brother know about Jax?”

  I glanced up at Jax, and he nodded. “Yes, he does.”

  Amanda shook her head. “I swear, he knows something like this and doesn’t even think it’s important enough to share with me.”

  “Don’t be so hard on him. It was by my request he not tell anyone,” I assured her.

  Amanda wasn’t appeased, but she shrugged. “Well, I don’t think I will ever forget my shock when you stepped out of his car holding his hand. I swear, I thought I was hallucinating.”

  I laughed, and Jax chuckled beside me.

  “I’m going to introduce them to some other people,” said Amanda to her friends. “And I am sure they are hungry. See you girls later.”

  Over the next hour, we were introduced to so many people I knew I couldn’t remember them all. But I had no doubt they’d remember me. I somehow appeared famous in their eyes. I happened to like not being the center of attention. It worried me that I wouldn’t be able to deal with the way this changed my life. We sat down by the bonfire and listened to the boys talk about the upcoming football season. They all seemed excited and ready for it to begin. They were trying to impress Jax with their stories, and a couple even broke down and asked Jax about his tour and his playing guitar by ear. He answered their questions as if he’d known them forever. His ability to act comfortable in any situation amazed me. We drew a small crowd when others began to realize he was answering questions and talking. This crowd didn’t seem as crazy as the earlier one, just curious. I ate a hot dog Jax roasted for me while he talked. He’d fixed it for me as he answered questions about Star. Guys all seemed to have questions about the pop princess.

  When we finished eating, he stood up and took my hand. “If you will excuse us, I want to go dance with Sadie.”

  Their faces shone with disappointment, and I think I even heard someone sigh. We walked close enough to hear the music. He reached down and slipped off my heels and placed them beside his discarded shoes. He pulled me out of the light and onto the moonlit beach. He nodded to the D.J. who had taken over for the band, and then back at me. The song began, and I instantly recognized the voice coming over the speakers. Jax held me closer as his velvet, smooth voice sang softly with the words of his song.

  “Let me hold you close just for tonight. When you’re not in my arms, nothing seems right. Just to see your smile lights up my darkest night. So, baby, please dance with me in the moonlight.”

  Jax leaned back and tilted my face to his.

  “Your touch is my only addiction. Your heartbeat takes my breath away. You’ll break my heart if you don’t stay. Your whispers sing to me each night, and your laugh is my only sun.

  “Hold me and whisper you love me. Hold me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me. Hold me, I need you to guide me. I can’t live without you. Hold me and whisper you love me. Hold me and tell me there’s no world without you beside me. Hold me, I need you to guide me.”

  The song ended, and I stood in Jax's arms, unable to look away from his steel blue eyes darkened with emotion.

  “I’ve never understood those words until tonight. I sang them, but I didn’t write them. I didn’t want to record the song, but I lost the battle. Now, when I sing those words, I will have a face to put behind them.” He paused and traced a line from my ear to my chin. “I just hope I am able to get through those words when you’re a thousand miles away.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. I didn’t want to think about him being a thousand miles away. I laid my head against his chest, and he pulled me closer.

  * * *

  Chapter Twelve

  Jax made me promise not to come to work the next morning after we sat up talking until three. The sun was getting brighter, and my white mini blinds didn’t do much to block out the light. I stretched and got up. I peeked inside Jessica’s room, and she was already awake. When I walked into the kitchen, Jessica stood fixing a bowl of cereal. She frowned at me.

  “You better not lose that job due to oversleeping. What time did you get in anyway?”

  It was time I told her about Jax. He wanted me to go to the fundraiser with him the following week, and I needed to tell Jessica. Not sure where to start, I sat down at the table.

  “We need to talk about something.”

  She sat her bowl down on the table. “Girl, if you tell me you’re pregnant, I think I might go mad.”

  I laughed. “That’s not going to happen. And, no, that's not what this is about.”

  Jessica tilted her head to the side. “Is this going to answer my question about what time you got in last night?”

  I nodded.

  She motioned her spoon at me to proceed, and then she took a big bite of her flakes.

  I took a deep breath. “I’m not real sure where to start.”

  Jessica paused with her spoon in mid air. “You mean this is going to be that good?”

  I rolled my eyes. Sometimes I wished she could be a normal mother, but then I was not normal, so why should I expect her to be. “Okay, when you worked for the Stone’s did you know who you were working for?”

  She nodded. “Sure, the teen rocker Jax Stone. I couldn’t miss his pictures on the walls.”

  I sighed, relieved she at least knew that much. “Well, I’m dating him.” I stopped and waited.

  She swallowed her mouthful, and then her jaw dropped. “No way.”

  I’d hoped for a more in depth reply from her. But then, depth wasn’t really Jessica’s thing.

  “We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now, and, well, he has to go back to Hollywood for a fundraiser next week, and he wants me to go with him as his date.”

  This got Jessica’s attention. “He wants you to go to Hollywood?”

  I nodded, and she chewed on her flakes a few minutes. “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” she finally said.

  I hadn’t expected her to care if I went or not. “Can I ask why?”

  She sat back in her seat and sighed. “Sadie, until this Jax Stone, you have never dated anyone. You’re beautiful, but you’re young and naive. His world isn’t something you’re ready for. Sure, dating him here is one thing, but walking into his world is another. I know I’m not the best mother in the world, but I love you, and I'm going to say no to protect you. You’re not ready for this, and the heartache this is going to cause will be like nothing you have ever experienced. A relationship with him for any reasonable amount of time is impossible. You’re just going to fall in love with him, and he is going to leave. He has to. He can’t be Jax Stone in Sea Breeze, Alabama.”

  I wanted to argue, but I knew she was right. “I already love him,” I whispered.

  She stood, walked over to me, put her hands on my shoulders, and squeezed. “Ah, baby, you’re about to find out how bad love really does hurt.” She kissed my head and left out the back door.

  I couldn’t go, and it disappointed me, but somehow I knew it would be for the best. I wouldn’t fit into his world in Hollywood. I couldn’t even handle something as simple as high school.

 
Jax didn’t take my mother’s decision well, but he accepted it. Saying goodbye even for a little while made my chest hurt. I dreaded it all day. If this was what it felt like to watch him leave for a short time, how much worse would September be? I heard him walk up behind me before he said anything. I stood up from my work with the roses and turned to him. He looked like someone out of a magazine, and I fought the urge to reach out and grab him and hold onto the Jax I loved, not this stranger standing before me.

  He reached out, took my hand, and slipped my garden glove off. “I already miss you,” he said as he began kissing my fingers. “This is going to be two very long days.”

  I forced myself to smile. “It will be over before we know it.”

  He frowned and pulled me closer. “God help me if they ask me to sing a love song. I don’t know if I’ll be able to get through the lyrics.”

  I smiled and reached up to run my fingers through his thick, dark hair. “You’ll have them all eating out of the palm of your hand. All you have to do is smile.”

  He grinned. “I think you’re a little biased.”

  I laughed. “No, I’m not. I’ve witnessed you charming a room full of girls with one simple smile.”

  He frowned and leaned down to kiss my cheek, and then kissed a trail to my ear before whispering, “You’re the only one I care about charming.”

  I sighed. “Well, don’t worry, I’m completely charmed.”

  He leaned back and reached into his pocket. “I have something for you, but it is really for me. I need you to take it, so I will be able to get some rest while I am away.”

  He held a slim, flat cell phone in his hand.

  “Please keep it on and with you at all times, so I can hear your voice whenever I need you.” Somehow he managed to say the only words that would make me take a gift like this

  from him.

  “I don’t know if I can use it. It seems complicated.”

  He grinned. “It’s a touch screen. When you touch the screen, all your necessary buttons appear.”

  I did as instructed and the screen came to life. “It’s like the iPod you gave me.”

  “That’s because it’s an iPhone.”

  I slipped it into my pocket.

  “I am just a phone call away.” Jax smiled sadly.

  “I hate this.” I didn’t want to make things harder on him, so I made myself smile. “You’ll be back soon.”

  He stepped closer and leaned down to kiss me. I didn’t want to close my eyes. I wanted to see him while he made my world spin. The moment his hand traced my face, I lost all concentration and just enjoyed being in his arms. He stepped back and broke the kiss.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said in a raspy voice.

  I liked knowing our kiss affected him. “I know.”

  He gave me one more grin and walked away. I watched him until he was almost out of sight. He turned back around and stopped to look at me. He lifted his fingers to his mouth and blew me a kiss before walking around the corner. The slim phone in my pocket reminded me he would call soon, and I would hear his voice. It would have to be enough to get me through.

  * * * *

  Marcus took me home after work. Jax had left a car to take me home, but I couldn’t bring myself to ride home in his vehicle without him.

  “What do I have to do to make you smile?” he asked when we pulled up beside the apartment.

  I sighed and forced a smile. “Nothing.”

  He leaned back against his seat and closed his eyes. “I hope he knows what he’s got.”

  I glanced at my friend, not sure what to say. I dropped my hand from the car door. Apparently he wanted to talk. “I’m the one who has been given something special. Jax isn’t like people think. He is this wonderful guy who is kind and polite and sweet. He makes me laugh and is happy just holding me. In his arms, I feel safe. It’s like I have finally found somewhere I belong.”

  Marcus let out a short, hard laugh. “Sadie, holding you isn’t a hardship for him, I can promise you. And how do you know you can’t find all those qualities in someone else. Jax isn’t the only guy on earth who is kind, polite, and sweet.”

  “I am sure you’re right. But no guy I have ever met has made my heart go on a frenzy and my skin tingle just by walking into a room. Somehow, he is the only one who has ever been able to touch my soul.”

  Marcus sighed and shook his head. “You’re right, it isn’t something just anyone can do to you. It just sucks Jax Stone is the one to make you tingle.”

  I let out a small laugh. “I’ll always love him. But I know, soon, I will have to learn to live without him and move on. Right now just isn’t the time.”

  Marcus nodded.

  I opened the door and got out. “Thanks for the ride.”

  He smiled. “Anytime.”

  I walked inside. Marcus was a great guy, and if I didn’t love Jax so much, maybe I could feel something for him. But my soul was already taken.

  I didn’t want to fall asleep for fear I would miss Jax’s call. I swept the kitchen and scrubbed the bathroom before finally getting in the shower. I left the cell by the sink just in case the phone rang. When I finished, I put on my nightgown, and then I turned to my bed and fought the urge to crawl in. I knew if I did, I would fall asleep. Closing my eyes was out of the question even though they were very heavy. I sat down on the edge of the bed and thought about the likeliness of him calling me tonight. I’d just about convinced myself he wasn’t going to call when I heard Jax singing “Wanted Dead or Alive.” I hadn’t expected a one of a kind ring tone, and I laughed as I answered the phone. “Hello.”

  “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Do I happen to have the only recorded version of Jax Stone singing ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’ as a ringtone?” I asked, unable to get the silly grin off my face.

  “Yes, you do. When I tried to think of a song to play when I called you, I realized I’d never recorded a song you liked, so I went into my studio at the house and recorded the only one I knew you would enjoy.”

  I smiled and crossed my legs Indian style on the bed. “I happen to have become an obsessed fan. You could have put any of your songs on there, and I would have been happy.”

  “Is that so? I wish you’d have told me you were a fan. I would have left my door unlocked so you could sneak in and squirt perfume on my pillow.”

  I laughed out loud, and then covered my mouth so Jessica didn’t wake up and come in. I hadn’t discussed Jax with her again, and I hoped I didn’t have to.

  “I don’t wear perfume.”

  “You mean you smell that good without help?”

  “I guess I do.”

  “Hmm...well, how about I autograph one of your body parts...I get to pick.” He chuckled into the phone.

  I blushed, and the silly grin stayed on my face. “Okay, maybe I am not that crazy of a fan, but I am a fan. I listen to your music every night while I go to sleep.”

  He groaned. “Sadie, did you have to remind me? I have a hard enough time closing my eyes to go to sleep. I don’t need images of you all curled up in your bed with your hair spread out around you, listening to me sing in your ears.”

  “Sorry, but I don’t want you to think I prefer Jon Bon Jovi’s work over yours.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too.”

  “Go to sleep. I’ll see you soon.”

  I sighed and wished I had a poster of him on my wall. “Good night, Jax.”

  “Good night, Sadie.”

  I pressed end and slipped under the covers with Jax playing in my ears.

  * * * *

  Ms. Mary stood over Henrietta, who appeared to be making bread, when I entered into the kitchen the next morning.

  “Now, Mrs. Stone said she needs it to be whole wheat, but she wants it light and fluffy, not heavy.”

  Henrietta nodded and continued kneading the dough in front of her. I grinned an
d walked past them toward the laundry room to change. Today wasn’t going to be easy with Jax gone, but at least I was at his home, near his things. It was better than nothing. I slipped into my uniform and went back out into the kitchen.

  “Go ahead and get some of the fresh bread over there. Henrietta made it for lunch today, but it is really good with some butter on it while it is still warm.”

  I didn’t have to be told twice. My stomach growled. I sliced off a piece and buttered it. The fresh homemade bread melted in my mouth.

  “Hey, don’t eat all the good stuff.” Marcus poked me in the ribs and grabbed the knife to slice him off a piece too. I smiled up at him.

  “Good morning to you too.”

  He grinned and took a bite of his bread. Marcus closed his eyes and moaned loudly, and poor Henrietta jumped.

  Ms. Mary rolled her eyes. “Boy, can’t you eat any quieter?”

  With a chuckle, he shook his head “no.”

  I wiped my hands on a paper towel and turned to Ms. Mary. “What do you have for me today?”

  She smiled and pointed to the pantry. “I need you to go through and check all expiration dates for me. We need to throw out anything that is old and replace it.”

  I nodded and went straight to work. With Jax singing in my ears, the morning flew by.

  Marcus joined me at lunchtime. “How’s it going?” He grinned down at me and sat with his plate full of food.

  “Good, thank you, and you?”

  Marcus shrugged, “Same ’ol, same ’ol, I guess.” He studied me, as if waiting for me to do something.

  I frowned. “What?” I asked, before taking another bite of my Reuben sandwich.

  “Nothing, I just thought you might be a little upset. You didn’t talk much this morning, and I figured you knew.”

  I frowned and sat my drink down. “What?”

  It looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to answer me. “Well?”

  “Um, why don’t we go outside and eat...and talk.”

  A nervous knot formed in my stomach, but I wanted to know what Marcus knew and I didn’t. I picked up my food and followed him out to the gazebo. “All right, tell me what this is about.”