Breathe

by Abbi Glines

  “Sadie, please, come talk to me.”

  “I need to get to work.”

  He reached out for my hand, and I immediately snatched it back and pocketed both of my hands.

  “Sadie, please.”

  I hated the insecure, little boy I saw in his eyes and the fact it got to me. Dang it. “There is nothing to talk about, Jax. I work here, we are friends, I guess, and you spent some extra time with me. Your girlfriend is here. No big deal. Now, if you will move.”

  He took my arms and gently, but firmly, pushed me back into the laundry room and closed the door behind him.

  “What are you doing?” I asked when I realized he’d locked us in.

  “We need to get a few things clear, and I can’t let you go to work until I know you understand.”

  I hated the way he acted as if I needed to be reminded of reality. I stiffened and turned to glare out the window.

  “Do you remember when I told you I have to get my picture taken with every female teen star in the vicinity for publicity?”

  I didn’t turn or acknowledge his words.

  He sighed. “I know you do. Anyway, Star and I have been thrown together since we were fifteen. She is the female me in the teen world, and people like to dream up romances between us. Because we have both spent our teen years in front of the camera, we have become friends.”

  Nausea boiled inside me. I didn’t need a reminder that Star would be a much better match for him.

  “But friends is all we have ever been. I’m not going to lie because, in the beginning, we did try out a relationship. It seemed natural for us, but it failed miserably. We were able to call it quits and remain friends. I didn’t know she was coming yesterday. She has been in love with a boy from her hometown for years. They have struggled to make things work, but, with her lifestyle, they never had enough time together. She just found out he is getting married next week. He got a girl pregnant, and Star is torn up about it. So she came here to see me. She needed a friend.”

  He stopped talking, and I knew I needed to turn around and respond. I just wasn’t sure how, without acting like the hopelessly lovesick idiot I’d become. I took a deep breath and exhaled, hoping to calm my emotions, and turned around.

  “You didn’t have to explain anything to me. I’ve known all along you live in a world I know nothing about, nor will I ever know anything about. Even if she is your girlfriend, the only thing you would have been guilty of is kissing someone else. You don’t owe me an explanation. I am just someone you spent time with for a couple of weeks one summer.” I forced a smile and nodded my head toward the door. “Now we have all this cleared up, I need to get to work.”

  I stepped toward the exit, and Jax’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. I closed my eyes and waited for him to speak.

  “You think you’re just someone I spent time with?”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. He looked at me incredulously, and I wasn’t sure what to say. I returned his stare. He seemed angry and hurt. I hated knowing I’d hurt him.

  “What am I, then, Jax?” I heard myself whisper. “How can I ever be more than that?”

  He pulled me up close to him. “You have been more than that since the night I took you home. You want to know what you are?” He took my hand and placed it over his heart. “You’re the person who owns this.”

  Tears stung my eyes. “I don’t want to love you,” I forced out through the thickness in my throat.

  “God, I hope you do, because you own me completely,” he whispered, and then leaned down and kissed me with such emotion the tears escaped and slid down my face. He held my face as he kissed me, until my knees went weak, and I held on to his arms to keep from falling. When he broke the kiss, he didn’t let me go, thankfully, because, without his support, I would not have had the strength to stand.

  “I should have come and told you, but she kept crying and going on and on over everything they had been through. She needed an ear, and I gave her one. I knew when I came to get you last night and you were gone, I’d screwed up. Promise me you won’t ever ride home by yourself again. I sat in your driveway last night after I made sure your bike was there and watched the windows for a long time, wondering which one was yours. If I’d have known, I would have come to you then, but I didn’t want to wake your mom.” He tucked a curl behind my ear, and I shivered at his touch. “I’m trying to make myself let you go before Ms. Mary comes to get you, but you go and shiver at my touch and weaken my resolve to stop holding you.”

  He laid my head against his chest, and I smiled. He loved me. I knew heartache would be inevitable when he left, but I knew he loved me.

  I waited on Jax out in the gazebo after work. I’d promised Amanda I’d come to the party with her tonight. She sent a message through Marcus as to where to meet her and what time. I’d forgotten until he reminded me. I needed to talk to Jax about it, because if he wanted to do something with me, I would need to cancel my prior plans. Now, I wished I hadn’t accepted Amanda’s invitation, but she seemed so excited about introducing me to people.

  “Why the frown, gorgeous?” Jax stepped into the gazebo and came to sit by me.

  “I didn’t realize I was frowning. I’m just thinking.”

  “About?”

  I sighed. “I’ve been invited to a party at a guy’s house, from school. Marcus’s younger sister, Amanda, is in my grade, and she invited me to come with her. I told her yes, but it was last night when I left early because of Star.”

  He leaned back and put his arm behind me. “Well, would you be against going to the party with a date?”

  I stiffened. “A date?”

  He smiled. “Yes, unless you’re ashamed to be seen with me in public.”

  I didn’t know what he meant. Surely, he couldn’t mean he would go as himself. “You mean, you want to go to a party?”

  He nodded. “Yes, I think I do.”

  I frowned and decided to point out the obvious. “You’re aware these people are going to flip out over you, right?”

  He shrugged. “Probably at first, but I figure they will get over the initial shock and leave us alone.”

  “I can cancel.”

  He shook his head, sat up, and turned toward me. “I’m going for a selfish reason. I want them to know you’re mine.”

  “Okay, but what purpose does this serve, except to make me the envy of every female in town?”

  He grinned. “It will let the male population know you’re not available and to stay away.”

  I laughed. “All right then, ‘Mr. Hot Shot Rock Star’, let’s go to the party so you can intimidate all the guys in a fifty mile radius.”

  * * * *

  We stopped at my house so I could run inside and change clothes. Apparently, the dress code was swimsuits. I slipped a black see-through cover up over my bikini, a pair of black heeled sandals on my feet, and let my hair down to its wild, natural, curly mess. For the first time in my life, I could be accused of being vain, and I knew it, but I wanted to look worthy of Jax tonight. I put on some red lipstick, mascara, and then stood back and appraised myself. My reflection surprised me. The black mascara really made my already dark lashes stand out. I went into the living room to tell Jessica “bye.” She stopped watching her reality television show and looked me up and down, and then broke out into a smile.

  “You can thank me for those good genes you’ve decided to flaunt tonight.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be late.”

  She waved me off. “Be careful and all that stuff.”

  I sighed and headed for the door. She hadn’t even asked me whom I’d dressed up for. Most girls my age wished their mothers would leave them alone, and I wished mine would just care. I grabbed my purse and headed back out to Jax and his Hummer. I’d left him outside for fear Jessica would be parading around in her underwear. He stepped away from the Hummer, and his gaze took me in. I’m glad I put the heels on because I knew it helped make my long legs seem less lanky.

 
; He let out a low whistle. “Wow, you’re incredible.”

  I smiled and blushed. “Thank you,” I replied.

  He frowned. “Now, could you go back inside and make yourself less sexy?”

  “What?”

  He sighed. “You were worried about me attracting attention, and you’ve gone in there and unleashed all your deadly weapons.” His gaze skimmed my legs again. “Damn, Sadie, I’m going to have a hard time with self-control tonight, and I swear if I catch one guy ogling you, he is going to be able to tell the world he got his ass kicked by Jax Stone.”

  I laughed out loud and rolled my eyes. “You’re a little biased.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Do you have mirrors in your apartment?”

  I nodded.

  “Did you use any of them, or did you manage to become every guy’s fantasy without any visual help?”

  I stepped around him. “You’re overreacting, now come on, and let’s go.”

  His arms slid around my waist as he pulled me up against his chest. He buried his face in my neck and groaned. “You smell heavenly.”

  I smiled and leaned back against him. “Thank you.”

  He kissed my neck and nibbled on my ear. My knees went weak, and chill bumps broke out on my body.

  “Jax,” I whispered, “if you keep this up, you’re going to have to put me in the Hummer. I am only so strong.”

  He chuckled against my neck, opened the door, and set me in my seat. He gave me one last smile, which sent shivers through my body, and then closed the door. I’d never really felt sexy before, but tonight I did. I knew it was because of him. Just maybe our being together would be believable. But I doubted it, seriously.

  We pulled into the driveway, and I immediately spotted Amanda watching for me and my bike.

  I turned to Jax. “When Amanda sees me step out of this vehicle with you, she is going to flip out. So get prepared.”

  He laughed. “You act like I am not used to being treated like a celebrity.” He squeezed my hand. “It’s fine. Stop worrying. I am used to this. I don’t normally live in hiding like I do here. I know how to handle it.”

  I took a deep breath and exhaled. “Let’s go.”

  Jax put his hand on my leg. “I’m getting you out, so stay put.”

  He held my hand as we made our way toward Amanda, who stood frozen in place with her mouth hanging open.

  “Hey, I, um, brought a guest. I hope it’s all right.”

  It sounded stupid, but I didn’t know what else to say. She covered her gaping mouth with a trembling hand

  “Yes, it’s fine,” she said through her hand, staring at Jax in disbelief, and I smiled because I completely understood her disbelief.

  “Amanda, this is Jax, Jax, this is Amanda, a friend of mine from school.”

  Jax held out his hand and unleashed his lethal grin on her, and I was afraid she might faint. She shook his hand and gawked at him, but she didn’t seem to be able to speak.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Amanda.”

  Amanda whimpered.

  Jax finally broke the handshake and stepped back.

  She gathered herself back together. “Okay, great, um, you guys come this way. Dylan is going to, uh, want to meet you.”

  I turned to Jax, and he smiled to reassure me. We followed Amanda, who kept glancing back at us every few seconds to make sure we hadn’t vanished. The house seemed nice, but nothing like what Jax lived in. A two-story, yellow beach style house, people occupied every door, and a few windows. We went past the house toward the sound of live music. In the center of the backyard stood a large stage. People were dancing in front of the stage and all down a bridge connecting the house to the sandy, white beach.

  We followed Amanda up a set of steps and onto the large party area. A bonfire blazed down on the beach, and more people were out there. I began to notice people staring at us, trying to decide whether or not this was, in fact, Jax Stone. Amanda led us to a group of guys sitting around a hot tub, drinking with a few girls in tiny bikinis. She cleared her throat, and a tall, lanky guy with a shaved head turned

  toward her.

  “Dylan, this is my friend, Sadie, I told you about.”

  He looked at me and gave me a slow smile. “Amanda said you were at school last year. How did I miss you?” he asked, his smile turning into a cocky grin.

  Before I could think of anything to say, Amanda cleared her throat, again, and said, “And this is her date tonight, Jax Stone.”

  Dylan went from leering at me, to switching his gaze toward Jax, who slipped his arm around my waist. Jax acted so calm and comfortable, almost as though he knew everyone here and wasn’t about to get slammed with crazy fans.

  “Jax Stone.” Dylan stood and stared in disbelief.

  Jax once again, ever so politely, held out his hand. “I’m sorry about crashing your party.”

  Shaking his head, Dylan recovered a bit and took Jax’s hand. “No way! Hell, you aren’t crashing my party. You’re Jax freakin’ Stone. You don’t need an invite anywhere, man. Especially here!”

  The girls in the hot tub stirred from their initial shock and got out of the water to come around to where we stood.

  “Oh. My. God! I am such a big fan! My name is Gabby Montess. I have your newest CD in my car will you please sign it for me?”

  Jax smiled politely and nodded. “I’d be glad to, Gabby.”

  Gabby grabbed her still speechless friend’s hand, and they squealed together as they ran for the CD and a pen. Others, realizing what was happening, had us surrounded within seconds. Girls, calling Jax’s name, shoved paper and pens toward him, as well as shirts and shoes and bags and even a pair of panties. Jax had been forced to release me to sign autographs, so I decided to get out of the chaos. I stepped back, and a girl standing behind me pushed me aside. I sank further back out of the crowd, getting elbowed, and I forced my way to freedom. Once one person lost control, it became a frenzy.

  The band stopped playing. I listened to squeals and proclamations of the crowd, saying they must be dreaming. Girls pushed and shoved, and yelled his name. Guys even fought to get close to him. I overheard some guy say he had written a song he wanted Jax to listen to. This was crazy, and I had let him walk into it all. I sighed and turned when I heard a girl ask someone standing beside her, “I wonder if he will autograph my stomach?”

  I realized how much I didn’t like other girls throwing themselves at him. I’d had him to myself, and it was easy to think we were normal, but he would never be ordinary. He would always be someone I couldn’t hold onto. I stared out at the water and decided to escape to the serenity of the now deserted beach.

  “Excuse me! Excuse me! Listen up please!” Dylan McCovey’s voice came over the sound system. I turned to see him standing on stage. He appeared to be very pleased with himself. “I realize we have a special guest tonight, but if you want to stay at this party, I am going to have to ask you to act like he is just one of us and give Jax some breathing room. If you can’t do this, I am going to have you escorted off the property.”

  I glanced back at the crowd around Jax, and several girls protested and complained following Dylan’s speech, but they listened to him. Even through the thinning crowd, I didn’t see Jax and figured he would still have to deal with several more fans before he managed to get free. I turned toward the shore and wondered if he would be able to find me if I went down to the beach.

  Hands slipped around my waist. “Don’t tell me you were going to leave me to the crowd and go down there all alone,” Jax whispered in my ear.

  I leaned against him and enjoyed the comfort of his arms. I hated how lost I’d been when he’d been everyone else’s, instead of mine.

  “Dylan’s not a bad host. All it took was my letting him know I wanted freedom tonight with you, and he took over.”

  I smiled. “Well, you are making his party the hottest event this town has ever seen.”

  Jax kissed my head. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly.
>
  I nodded. “I’m fine.”

  He relaxed his hold and came to stand beside me, still holding me against his side. “Do you want to escape down there by ourselves, or do you want to attend this party we came to? Just so you know, I'm good with whatever you choose.”

  I wanted to escape and keep Jax to myself. But I also came here tonight because Amanda invited me, and I wanted to hang out with her some and meet some of the others. The crowed was slowly getting back into the party. Many still watched Jax. I couldn’t blame them. I wanted to stare at him myself.

  “I guess I should go find Amanda and mingle,” I said reluctantly.

  Jax took my hands and pulled me close. “When this is over, we can have some time alone.” He grinned wickedly at me. “Time alone with you is my favorite pastime.”

  I blushed and turned back toward the heart of the party. As we passed people, they introduced themselves, and Jax never failed to be nice and polite. He shook hands, and some of the braver guests asked him to autograph their items.

  Amanda came up beside me. “Hey, I’m sorry about earlier. I hope Dylan has made it easier.”

  “Yes, he did. We expected it, or something similar, so it wasn’t a big surprise.”

  Amanda grinned. “Well he is the hottest teen idol in America.”

  Jax smiled at her, and she looked like she might faint, and I elbowed him in the ribs. He needed to work on not overwhelming girls with his smile. Amanda got a grip on herself.

  “Okay, so, I want to introduce you to some friends. But,” she said, “they are probably going to be more interested in meeting your date.”

  “It’s okay, I know.”

  She led us over to a group of girls who seemed familiar. I remembered a few of them from school.

  “Hey, girls, I wanted to introduce you to Sadie. She was at school for the last few weeks. She will be a senior this year too. Sadie, this is Jessie,” a petite blond with pixie hair, “Mary Ann,” a petite redhead, with wavy hair and surprisingly tanned skin, and “Peyton,” a tall brunette. All the girls smiled at me, but their eyes strayed to Jax.