Learning to Love

by Erin Trejo

  I don’t see anyone. I go back to collecting my things from the bathroom, loading only a small bag like Jace told me to.

  He has been on pins and needles the last couple of days. He talked to his mom and told her we were coming to visit as long as his dad wasn’t there.

  She filled him in on his long business trips that we all know are lies. I hate that she has to live like that. I hate that she doesn’t even know half of what he’s capable of.

  I toss my toothbrush into the bag before looking up into the mirror. A small smile tugs across my face as I look at my swollen lips.

  Jace said he had to go run an errand before we leave. That didn’t stop him from kissing me senseless before he left.

  I bring my fingers up, remembering what those lips of his felt like taking mine.

  If I’m being honest, I miss them. I miss him when he leaves me. I hate to admit that, but I’ve grown accustomed to having him close to me. Even when we were in those cells, I needed him.

  “Don’t think about him too long.” I startle when I hear a voice next to me. Looking over, I see one of the prospect’s.

  “Hey, I didn’t hear you knock,” I say. I give him a small smile, but he just watches me intently. I have an eerie feeling in the pit of my stomach, but Jace said I was safe with these guys.

  “Jace isn’t back yet,” I tell him. He nods his head slowly as though he already knew that. I turn back to my bag, zipping it slowly before he steps into the bathroom.

  “Is there something you needed?” I ask. His hand shoots around my neck, yanking me back into his chest.

  My eyes widen as I look at his reflection in the mirror.

  “What do you want?” The words come out choked as his hands tighten around me.

  “I have a job to do... I plan to do it.” I don’t understand what he means.

  “What job?” I ask. I don’t know that I want the answer to that either. My blood is rushing through me, fear beginning to lock my body down. It’s not until I hear him whisper that it registers who he is.

  “I want to eat you up.” No... No... there is no way he was one of them. Jace said that they killed them all. He can’t be here. How is he here?

  How is he involved?

  “Don’t scream little mouse. I will make sure to play with you a whole lot better than Bullet ever did.” His voice is low and full of promise. Bile rises in my throat with his words.

  The tighter he squeezes my neck the more the room spins. I’m going to pass out and this asshole is going to kill me.

  “Jace.” His name barely comes out before the world around me turns black.

  Chapter 68

  Bullet

  “You got everything lined up?” Bomber stops me on my way back inside. I had to make a quick drop for the club before I head out to my mom’s.

  “Yeah. He’s out of town on business. Drop’s done and good. Bentley wants another shipment in a few weeks. I told him to get with you or Micah,” I say. Bomber nods his head before blowing out a ring of smoke.

  “She doin’ okay?” he asks. I shrug my shoulders.

  “I think so. It’s hard for her to trust me, brother. I know she wants to.” Bomber nods, knowing what I mean.

  “It takes time. She knows where your heart’s at though, Bullet. She knows you’re a good man. Hell, even I know it. I’m proud of you, son.” Bomber might not be much older than the rest of us, but he has been a father figure to more of us than I can count.

  “You know that means a lot to me, comin’ from you. I’ve never had that shit, Bomber. No one was ever proud of me.” He nods before placing a hand on my shoulder.

  “You went to war for this country, Bullet. There are a shit ton of people that are proud of you. I’m fuckin’ honored to have you as part of this club. Since the day you stepped foot in those doors, I knew you had heart.” He has no idea what his words mean to me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.

  “I appreciate that, Bomber.” He pulls me into a quick hug before walking away with a grin.

  Bomber may be the president of this club, but he’s far more than that. He keeps us grounded. Without him, this club would be a mess.

  I head down the hallway with a shit eating grin on my face.

  “You seen my woman?” Aubrie stops to grin at me.

  “No. So, she’s your woman now?” she asks. Leaning down, I press a kiss to her cheek.

  “She’s always been my woman, Aub’s. She makes me happy,” I tell her. Her eyes fill with tears. That girl is so damn emotional.

  “I’m happy for you, Bullet. You deserve to be happy.” I give her a wink before walking past her and heading to my room.

  I just need to pack a few things and maybe fuck my girl senseless once more before we head out.

  I push the door open, kicking it shut behind me.

  “Mouse? Where you at, baby?” I yell for her. Glancing around, she isn’t in the room. I head toward the bathroom, but only find her bag sitting on the sink.

  Where the hell did she go?

  Heading back out into the main room, I look around, but I don’t see her.

  “Hey, Link! You seen Mouse?” Shaking his head, he goes back to his computer. I head toward the kitchen to see if she’s in there.

  “Holly, you seen Trinity?” She spins around glaring at me before shaking her head.

  “No, not in a while. She said she was going to get ready to leave.” My heart starts pounding in my chest.

  “When was that?” I ask her. She dries her hands on a rag before shrugging.

  “Right after you left. Is everything okay?” she asks. Fuck!

  “No... Go find Micah.”

  Chapter 69

  Mouse

  Jace’s words echo in my mind. Slow, deep, breaths. That’s what he’d always tell me when I panicked in those cells. Just take slow, deep, breaths.

  As hard as I’m trying, I don’t know what to do in this situation. I can only thank God that I’m still inside the clubhouse walls, although that isn’t helping me at this moment. I’m tied to a bed and gagged. It isn’t like I can scream for help.

  The prospect, I don’t even know his name, is on the phone as he paces around the room. He sticks his head out the door every once in a while, and I have to wonder what the hell he is looking for. Is he waiting for someone to come help him or is he afraid someone will come in here?

  I can only hope and pray that someone comes in.

  The man drops the phone onto the table before running his hand through his hair. I keep my eyes on him at all times. I don’t know what kind of maniac he is.

  “You look pretty sexy all tied up on my bed,” he says. My stomach cramps as I tug at the ropes that rip into my skin.

  He just chuckles, walking toward me.

  “I was a boy scout, I learned to tie knots a long time ago, sweetheart.” He pulls something from his back pocket before I realize what it is. He’s flicking the switchblade open, the light reflecting off the blade.

  I know that blade. Tears prickle my eyes but there’s nothing I can do.

  “You remember it, huh?” His eyes dance with amusement. My throat feels like it’s closing off, depriving me of that sweet oxygen I need.

  He steps closer, dragging the blade down the front of my shirt. I can hear the fabric give-way before he shoves the torn halves to the sides.

  “I see why Bullet likes your tits.” His eyes roam over my body before stopping on one of the scars.

  “Do you remember this one?” The tip of his blade touches the scar as my body reacts. I try to pull away, but there’s nowhere for me to go.

  “I made this one, didn’t I?” His eyes come to mine. I nod slowly before he grins and looks back down.

  “I remember you fightin’ me. I wanted to fuck you until you bled, but they had other plans for you that day. I did fuck you, though. Do you remember that day?” Tears stream down my cheeks as I recall that horrible night. He never talked to me. He only whispered. Maybe that’s why I’ve never recognized who
he was.

  “You doremember. I was rough, not too rough...” He leans down, kissing my stomach as I cry. I feel so disgusted right now. I want to scream—if only I didn’t have this gag in my mouth.

  “I’m gonna taste you this time before I get rid of you. I’ve waited for this day.” He drags the knife down my stomach before cutting away my shorts like they were nothing.

  He groans before doing the same to my panties. I’m left vulnerable and spread for him the way he has me tied to the bed.

  The overwhelming need to vomit rises when I feel his tongue touching my most private area. I try to scream. I try so hard.

  He just chuckles and continues to lick at me.

  Chapter 70

  Bullet

  “She’s in here somewhere!” Snapping at Micah, he places his hand on my shoulder.

  “I know. Maybe she fell asleep or somethin’.” How the fuck would she fall asleep in another goddamn room? No, something is not right.

  “No. Somethin’s wrong, I can feel it,” I tell him. Micah doesn’t say another word when those words leave my mouth. He’s never doubted my gut before and it’s never proven me wrong.

  “Kane! Dax!” Micah yells before they rush over.

  “We check every room. I don’t give a fuck whose it is. She’s here somewhere. Kick the fuckin’ doors in if you have to.” The guys nod as we all head toward the rooms. My body is tense and my muscles are corded.

  She wouldn’t be in someone else’s room. Why would she be?

  We start at every door, including mine, once again. We even go through all the club whores that hang around here, too. Nothing.

  This is fucking insane. Where would she have gone? Dax kicks a door open to one of the prospect’s rooms. He does a double take as I stand there watching him.

  “What?” I ask. He drags his eyes to mine before I hear Tin, the prospect.

  “Can we help you?” he asks. We? Who the fuck does he have in there? Then it all hits me. The way Dax is staring me down, she’s in there.

  I steel myself, ready to find whatever it is but when I step in front of the door, her eyes jerk to mine. It isn’t fear of me that I see in them. It’s fear in general.

  I take in her body as she lies there, spread wide open for everyone to see. Her pussy is on display as we all stand in shock. Trying to piece this shit together, she cries. Is she crying because she got caught?

  My eyes jerk to Tin’s as he wipes his mouth.

  “Sorry, brother. She was into me,” he says. He shrugs like it’s no big deal. My heart sinks in my chest. She didn’t do this… did she?

  “Want me to untie her?” Dax asks the obvious. I’m still in shock of what he just said to me. Mouse squirms trying to scream something around the gag in her mouth. I nod to Dax, who quickly moves to untie her.

  “He’s lying! I was waiting for you, Jace!” I want to throw up. The thought of this motherfucker touching her rips me apart.

  I look at Tin, but he just shrugs like it’s no big deal. If she didn’t want it, why is he just standing there so calmly? It doesn’t make sense.

  Chapter 71

  Mouse

  Dax pulls his shirt over his head, passing it to me.

  “Put this on, sweetheart.” I take it from him, sliding it over my head.

  Jace stands with his back to me. He hasn’t looked at me since that asshole lied.

  “He tried to rape me. He was… going to. He said he… had plans for me,” I desperately cry, but I know how Jace feels about the people in this club. They are like his family.

  “She wanted me, I didn’t have the heart to say no. I just didn’t realize the bitch was a freak.” I watch Jace’s hand's clench at his sides when the guy speaks again.

  I shove up the bed when Dax finally cuts the ropes that held my ankles free. I pull my knees to my chest, shaking.

  “You lyin’ to me right now, Tin?” Jace’s hands are turning white as tightly as he’s holding them. A part of me wants to leap off this bed and straight into his arms, but I can tell just how lethal he is right now.

  The asshole that I now know as Tin, grins at him.

  “Hell no, brother! She came lookin’ for me after you left.”

  “You liar! You came into my room!” I scream. Hot tears leak down my cheeks as I try to shove up off the bed. Dax’s hand lands on my shoulder, keeping me in place. I look up at him through the blur, but he just shakes his head.

  “You came in my room, Tin?” Jace’s body turns at an angle. I can partially see his face. He’s pissed, he’s beyond pissed, but at who?

  “Look, Bullet. You know I want nothin’ more than to be a part of this club. That bitch came at me, I accepted.” He’s lying!

  Jace’s jaw twitches. I can see the rage in him. I’ve never seen him this deadly before.

  “Take her back to my room.” The growl that rips free from him shocks me.

  “Jace, you have to listen to me. He choked me until I passed out! I don’t remember even being brought in here!” My screams seem to fall on deaf ears. Dax pulls me up, wrapping an arm around my waist as he leads me toward the door.

  “Jace! Please!” I scream and cry as Tin stands there with a grin on his face.

  I rip free of Dax’s hold, throwing myself into Jace. My arms wrap around his neck, as I cry into him. His arms remain rigid at his sides.

  “Get her out of here.” His voice is hard and unyielding. Dax grabs me again, but I grab Jace’s face.

  “I swear to you, I didn’t want him! I only want you, Jace. I love you.” His eyes remain hardened as if I didn’t even speak. He turns his head, pressing a kiss to my cheek before nodding at Dax.

  “Get her the fuck outta here.” His screams cause me to jump before Dax lifts me in his arms, and carries me out of the room.

  Chapter 72

  Bullet

  By now, we have an audience. All the guys are shoved into this tiny ass room. All except Dax, and he knows he better not walk away from that girl until I say so.

  “I’m sorry, Bullet. I shouldn’t have taken her up on her offer. I was wrong, brother.” I can see the look in Micah’s eyes as he stands next to me. He knows it too, something is off. I can feel it in my bones.

  “Why did she say you came into our room?” I ask. My eyes stay on Tin. If he says one wrong thing, this room is going to explode.

  “What the hell is goin’ on, Tin?” Bomber steps up next to me. I have no doubt that he was filled in before he ever set foot in this room.

  “Prez, she was into me. I gave her what she wanted. I licked that sweet pussy just like she asked for,” he says. He looks proud of himself. He’s speaking words that will get his throat ripped out and the motherfucker actually looks proud.

  My hands clench even tighter at my sides.

  “You got a death wish, prospect?” Bomber steps forward when I hear Aubrie.

  “Micah! I need to talk to you, now!” The tone in her voice makes it sound urgent. Micah steps into the hallway as Bomber steps closer to Tin.

  “You realize that if you’re lyin’, he’ll kill you,” Bomber says. Nodding over his shoulder to me, I see Tin nod his head.

  “I’m not lyin’, Bomber.” The world starts to turn red before my eyes when Micah steps up next to me.

  “She’s traumatized, Bullet. Aub’s just checked on her. She’s tryin’ to scrub her fuckin’ skin off in the shower. She didn’t want this shit, brother.” I know she didn’t. I don’t know why I needed the confirmation from anyone. I know she didn’t want this motherfucker. She told me she loved me. I knew it when the words left her lips. She hasn’t trusted me enough to give me that until now.

  “You’re a dead man,” I say. Pointing at Tin, Bomber takes a step back, Micah whispers in his ear. I hear the growl rip out of him. He’s as pissed as I am.

  I take two quick steps into Tin’s space, wrapping my hands around his throat.

  “I killed a lot of people in the war. It was easy to snap their fuckin’ necks and walk away. I
knew it would be hard for me to keep that at bay when I got back home. There was always some kind of temptation in front of me.” His eyes water as I squeeze harder.

  “You touched somethin’ that didn’t belong to you, Tin. She’s mine. You knew she was mine. You put your mouth on parts of her that were saved for me.” I spin him around so he is looking at the guys. I want him to see the betrayal.

  “Not only did you fuck with me—you fucked with my brother's.” I wrap one hand around his forehead, the other around his chin. With the flick of my arms, his neck makes a lovely sound as I snap it.

  The power that radiates through me is like nothing I’ve ever felt. Sure, I’ve done it a hundred times, but for something I love? Someone I love? It makes it that much more satisfying.

  “I’ll clean this shit up. Go to her, Bullet.” Kane steps up next to me, slapping a hand on my shoulder.

  “How’d you know she wasn’t lyin’?” Bomber looks at me but he already knows the answer to that.

  “She told me she loved me.”

  Chapter 73

  Mouse

  The water scalds my skin. I don’t care, I can’t get the feeling of him off me.

  I scrub so hard my skin burns, but it still isn’t enough.

  “Trinity, please darlin’. Get out of there now.” Dax’s calming voice does nothing for me.

  I don’t want to get out, not until I can’t feel his filth on me anymore. It’s an overwhelming sensation that won’t go away. It’s like a piece of him is emblazoned into my skin.

  The harder I scrub, the harder I cry. I don’t know if Jace even believed me. I saw his face. There was so much hurt in his eyes. That’s his family and I’m nobody. He wouldn’t go against his family for me.

  Scrubbing harder, I just want it to go away!

  “Trinity. Come on...” Dax’s voice does nothing to me. I’m not coming out of here.

  I continue what I’m doing as tears run down my face. My chest heaves from all the crying, nothing much is left inside of me.