Say You'll Stay

by Michaels, Corinne

  He kisses my nose and releases me. I stand there feeling bereft. The loss of his arms causes me to shiver.

  He’ll wear me down because there’s not much resistance left in me.

  I hope he’s ready.

  “I DON’T THINK WE CAN ride any farther today,” Wyatt says as the sun sets in the distance. “We’ve still got a few more miles and the cattle aren’t cooperating.”

  It’s been grueling the last few hours. The pace has been agonizingly slow, and no matter what we seemed to do, we were still chasing another stray for twenty minutes.

  We’re about halfway, so there’s no way to go back and no way to go forward. I knew I shouldn’t have freaking done this. Somehow the gods have a way of kicking me in the teeth. Now, I’m going to be forced to camp out with Zach, Wyatt, and Vance, who has been riding with Wyatt. Fantastic.

  “I need to call the boys,” I say as I walk toward the trees. “This is the last thing I need.”

  Wyatt laughs. “I’ll snuggle with you. There’s always room in my sleeping bag for you, Cowgirl.”

  My eyes dart to Zach as he gives Wyatt a glare that would make any man cringe. Wyatt looks back over and flips him off with a smile. “What’s the matter, Zach? Your tent isn’t working properly?”

  “I’ll kick your ass so far you won’t be able to find your way back to Tennessee.” Zach’s voice is low and threatening.

  “Please, I’ve seen you fight.”

  “Presley,” Zach says with gritted teeth. “Why don’t you call the boys. I’ll help Wyatt with setting up camp.” He grabs the back of Wyatt’s neck, causing him to shrink. “We’ll get everything in order before you get back, won’t we, Wyatt?”

  Wyatt tries to elbow him, but with no luck. “Let go before I break your nose!”

  “Stop being a dick.”

  “At least I have one,” Wyatt says, swinging his body around.

  This is a brief glimpse into my future with Logan and Cayden.

  Boys.

  I shake my head and walk away. Daddy answers the phone on the first ring. “Hi, sugar.”

  “How did you know it was me?” I smile. They refuse to get a phone with caller ID.

  “I know when you need me.” Daddy can sometimes make everything feel better. I’ve never been more grateful for that. “How’s the ride?”

  “Slow.” I sigh. “Stubborn cattle.”

  He laughs. “I understand stubborn things.”

  I’m pretty sure he’s talking about me. “I bet you do, Daddy.”

  “I figured you all were stayin’ out tonight. This was a long move.”

  “I didn’t think we would.”

  “Honey, you should know those boys are in cahoots. They picked the two farthest points on the land. I don’t think they could’ve found a longer or more treacherous ride if they tried.”

  Of course they’re behind this. Bastards. “You knew this?”

  He chuckles, and I picture him shaking his head. “Yup.”

  So he’s on board with Zach? That makes no sense. Daddy liked him just fine, but when he broke my heart and left me in Maine, Zach lost any respect my father had for him. He’s a proud man, and his little girl was taken from him—in his mind—and abandoned.

  “We’ll talk about this when I come home.”

  “Sure, we will.” I hear him laugh through his nose. “You callin’ to talk to the boys?”

  “Yes, Daddy.”

  “They’re out with Cooper. He took them to his place for the night. Said he figured you’d call and to quit worrying. They’re fine.”

  I groan. “We’ll see how—” I start to say before catching myself. It wasn’t Cooper’s fault. And he would never let them wander off again. “Never mind. You sure you can’t come get me? Keep me away from these Hennington boys.”

  “I tried that for half your life, baby girl. It didn’t work then, and it ain’t gonna work now. You let your brother spend time with his nephews without you interfering. He clears his throat, and I wait for what he’s going to say next. “You be careful out there and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hangs up before I can say anything.

  That’s one thing about Forrest Townsend. When he’s done, he’s done.

  I check my phone and see a text.

  Cooper: Enjoy your night.

  Me: You did this.

  Cooper: You said you wanted out of the office.

  Me: Asshole. I didn’t mean a night in a field with your staff.

  Cooper: Brat.

  Me: I hate you.

  Cooper: I hate you more.

  I laugh at the infantile text messages. I’ve missed my brother. He was always protective, even if he idolized Zach. He would get in his face if I cried or was angry. Zach could’ve beaten him to a pulp, but he would let Cooper yell and threaten him. It would make me fall more in love with Zach to see him give Cooper a sense of strength.

  “Can’t hide forever.” Zach’s voice startles me. His hands glide up my back and rest on my shoulders.

  “I’m not hiding.”

  His fingers dig and rub into my neck, relieving the tension. “If you say so,” he says and continues to massage me.

  I close my eyes and let some of the stress go. His touch allows me to relax. I feel safe in his hands. Even if for so long I’ve told myself that’s the last thing I could be. I was so young. We were so stupid to think we could have it all and it would cost us nothing. Life doesn’t care if you’re in love, there’s always a price for happiness, we were just unwilling to pay.

  “Do you think we have a real shot, Zach?”

  He stops and his front presses against my back. His arms wrap around my shoulders as I hold on to him. “I think all of this happened for something. There’s a reason you’re in my arms right now. A reason that I didn’t make choices that would’ve prevented it. Me blowing out my shoulder, you having to come back here, it’s for something. And if it’s not for us, then why?”

  My hands cinch around his forearms as I mull over what he said. “I can’t make sense of Todd, though.”

  “I don’t know why either. Were you happy?” His voice strains a little.

  “I thought so. I know this isn’t easy to listen to.” I turn to face him.

  He cups my face and looks at me with so much compassion I almost can’t take it. “Presley, you were married. You had two boys. I left you almost sixteen years ago. It would be ridiculous for me to think you didn’t have a life or love.”

  My eyes fill with tears. “But to think of Felicia and you . . .” I take a step back.

  “You have to trust me. The only way we’re ever going to know is if we’re honest. Does it suck to know another man has touched you? Yes.” Zach moves closer. “Do I want to think about the fact that he was there for you because I left? No.” My fingers clasp his wrist. “But God help me, Presley. I’ll listen to it all. I want to know it all. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad, and then I want the rest.”

  A tear descends as my guard falls. “I’m afraid I’ll never heal. I don’t know how to heal.”

  The anger that lives inside me has prevented any forward progress. Todd robbed me of everything I knew. My home, my friends, Angie, any financial freedom I had. We lost everything because of him. I lost my husband too, though. It hurts to know all the things we’ve shared are now just memories. He wasn’t mean or unfaithful. He was the man who held my hand through thirty-six hours of labor. He stood by me when I decided to open my business. There’s a part of him that, no matter how angry I am, will claim a special place inside of me.

  Zach has never had to love me when part of my heart belonged to someone else.

  “I don’t expect you to forget about him.” The pain in his voice is hidden well, but I see it in his eyes. “He’s a part of you. And you’re already healing, you have to let it happen.”

  “I’ve loved you since I can remember. I’ve never been able to stop, and I never will. But you’re going to have to be patient.” My voice quivers. Everything inside me is play
ing tug‑of‑war. I want him, I don’t want to. I love him, I shouldn’t. He could heal me; he could break me. All of my thoughts contradict one another. But one thing that keeps coming to the forefront is: I don’t want to have a life without him. Whether as my friend, or something more serious.

  His eyes close and he rests his forehead against mine. “I’ll be patient.”

  “Like, very patient.”

  He laughs and lifts his head. “I know. However, feel free to leap into my arms and kiss the shit out of me anytime.”

  I giggle as I shake my head. “I don’t know what that was.”

  “I’m okay with it,” he jokes.

  “I bet you are.”

  “Like I said, I’m ready and willing.”

  My eyes lock on his. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Zach’s smile grows. “I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this. We were always—easy.”

  My hand presses against his cheek. The feel of his day-old stubble scratches my palm. My fingers glide back and forth against his face, reminding me he’s real. Zach was always a dream to me. A beautiful hope that would never be. But this, right now, isn’t a dream. “Do you know why I couldn’t come back here?” I ask.

  “No.”

  I sigh and drop my hand. It’s a lot to admit. It’s not something I’m proud of. I loved my husband, that was never something I doubted. But there was a part of me that knew if I saw Zach, I wouldn’t be able to walk away. “You,” I admit.

  Zach’s hands drop and he takes a step back. “I don’t understand.”

  “I don’t either.” My voice shakes as I speak. “I never could understand why, when I would allow myself a moment to think of you, I would hurt. I don’t know if it was lack of closure or if I was terrified the memories I buried so deep would come back.” I turn and face the woods as I come to terms with my emotions. “I knew that if I saw you, if we were close again.” I spin so he can see me. “You would be where my heart would find comfort again.”

  Zach rubs his face before looking at the sky. “Do you know how many times I wanted to find you?”

  I shake my head.

  “I went to your father once. I begged him to tell me where you were, but he said I’d had my shot and blew it. That you were engaged, happy, and over me.”

  My jaw drops at his admission. I never knew that. In all these years, my father never mentioned that. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been over you. I loved Todd. I loved our life. I loved how happy he made me. But you’ve found a way to become a part of who I am. Does that make sense?”

  He strides closer. “I loved after I lost you, too. But it was never close to what I felt for you.”

  When two people loved each other without inhibitions, the way we have, there is no chance of ever being the same again. The connection we share isn’t something that can be severed. I learned to love differently, and in this instant, my soul has found its way back to him.

  “Kiss me,” I say in a hushed voice.

  His arm snakes around my back as he draws me near. My breathing gets shallow as I realize what is going to happen. I’m going to let him kiss me. I’m going to kiss him because that’s all I can think about. We’ve shared two very different moments, now I want this. Zach’s eyes melt into pools of indigo. The pinks, oranges, and reds filter around him as the sun sets behind him. Everything is warm and beautiful around us.

  “Are you sure, darlin’?”

  “I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old, Zachary Hennington. You were my first kiss, my first love, the first man to touch me. I want you to kiss me, and I need to kiss you.”

  As I look into his eyes, I remember everything over the last few months. Him giving the boys their horses, finding Cayden, the way he cared for me at the bar, the way he was always watching me, and then he left Felicia to give us a chance. No guarantees that we could ever find our way back to each other, but I was worth the risk.

  His hand tightens around my hip as his other holds the side of my face. He slowly pulls me in and my eyes close. As soon as our lips touch, my heart explodes. Everything inside of me tenses, and I grab the back of his neck. I feel so much all at once. I’m scared, happy, sad, desperate, and hopeful. It’s as though I’ve found my place again. Zach is home. Zach is the place that I’ve always known and wanted.

  We hold each other as our mouths move in harmony. His tongue slides against mine, and I moan. He yanks me even tighter against his body as he kisses me relentlessly. My arms encircle his neck, keeping him where I need him. He leads, then I lead, each giving and taking.

  I don’t remember the last time I was kissed with so much force.

  His lips leave mine and trail down my neck. He holds my head back as his tongue tastes my skin. “Zachary.” I groan as he finds his way back to my mouth.

  Our arms hold each other so close it feels as if we’re one person. I can’t feel anything except him. He’s a part of me, and I’m a part of him.

  Each second that I’m in his clutch I don’t think. My mind floats on a cloud as he holds me secure. I’m safe and there’s no pain. He robs me of the thoughts that have haunted me and replaces them with the sun. All I feel is warmth. All I see is light. All I feel is joy.

  He breaks the kiss and we both struggle for breath. “Holy shit,” he pants.

  “Yeah.” I try to slow my heart. “Holy shit.”

  “Pres,” he says with tenderness. I look up and his thumb brushes against my lip. “Are you—” He stops before starting again. “Was that okay?”

  Another part of my heart becomes Zach’s. “Yeah.” I smile up at him. “That was okay.”

  There are no guarantees that this will work, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering. And if we still can kiss like that . . .

  “Good.”

  “Zach?”

  “Yeah?”

  “There’s a lot of things that we need to talk about. I’ve only been a widow for a small period of time. The boys aren’t ready to see me with another man,” I explain. I have to do what’s right for them. “I’m not saying we have to hide, but while we’re figuring things out, I don’t want to rub anything in their faces.”

  He nods. “I’ll let you lead the pace on this, but I’m going to be around a lot. I’ve spent half my life without you, and I’m not letting more time get away from us.”

  “Okay,” I acquiesce. “I can handle time around you, I guess.”

  His eyes shift from hard to soft. “You guess, huh?”

  “It’ll be painful, but I’ll suffer.”

  Zach’s hand grips the back of my neck, threading his fingers in my hair. “Suffer?”

  The pace of my pulse accelerates. My bones liquefy as he tugs gently, causing my scalp to tingle.

  Slowly his mouth closes in, but he lands against the top of my neck. The warmth of his breath mixed with the cold trail from his tongue causes my stomach to clench.

  “I don’t think you know suffering with me.” His low voice is seductive. “I was a boy then. I can promise you that I’ve grown a lot.”

  “Mmmm,” I moan as he nips at the the bottom of my ear.

  “There won’t be suffering. Just a lot of pleasure.”

  Oh. My. God.

  “Promises, promises, Zachary.”

  “Oh, darlin’.” He pulls my head back, forcing me to look into his denim blue eyes. “I promise that and a whole lot more.”

  Slow is going to be really difficult when he’s saying things like this.

  I may cave a hell of a lot sooner than I ever thought. Because if I couldn’t resist a fumbling teenage Zach, I’m sure as hell not going to be able to keep away from the confident, sinful, and hot as hell man before me.

  Zachary

  H OW THE HELL DID I get so lucky? What did I do to deserve this chance? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I never thought I’d see her again. It seemed the world had decided that long ago, yet I’m holding her in my arms.

  I kiss her lips once more. Since I’m waiting for her to
realize she shouldn’t do this, I to take every chance she gives me to touch her.

  “Let’s head back.” I stare into her green eyes and see the fear. “Pres?”

  She looks away and twists her bracelet, “I just don’t know where or how we’re going to sleep.”

  I want to laugh at how damn cute she is. She’s got nothing to worry about. Other than me sporting wood all night at the thought of her so close, I won’t push anything. I promised her time, despite the fact that Presley has always been my demise. She’s the one thing in this world I’ve always known was right.

  “Relax,” I say, trying to calm her nerves. “You’ll get the tent and we’ll all be out by the fire.” I have no idea if that is Wyatt’s plan, but that’s what’s happening. There’s no way she’s going in that tent with Vance or my brother, who can’t seem to keep his hands to himself.

  She lets out a huge sigh. “Okay. Sorry, I’m being ridiculous.”

  “Come on.” I begrudgingly let go of her. We make our way to where the guys are, and I try to figure out a plan.

  There may be a lot of good between Pres and me, but there’s a whole shit ton of crap between us too. I need to be really smart with how I proceed. I can’t spook her, and I can’t let her think I’m not interested. Because that’s ridiculous. But it’s only been a week since Felicia moved out. Just like my worries about whether she can love again after her husband, she’s probably worried about the same thing.

  “You all right?” she asks.

  Her green eyes glimmer in the moonlight. I step closer because I need to kiss her. I have to feel her mouth on mine, reminding me that she’s fucking here. She’s here and not some crazy dream I’ve been imagining. I keep moving until there’s no distance between us. When her breath hitches, I step back. “Shit.” I close my eyes and look away.

  “Hey.” Her hand presses against my arm. “What’s wrong?”

  I don’t want to admit this crap to her. She doesn’t need to know how the inkling that she’s willing to give us a chance, makes me this happy. Because if there’s any hope for us left in her heart, I’m going to find it and hold on for dear life. Presley is mine. Always has been. Always will be. I’ll make damn sure of that.