Surprise, Baby!

by Lex Martin

  He smiles down at her, and she says something back.

  They laugh.

  The woman’s friend starts to tug her away, and for a split second, I think maybe I’m not watching the worst moment of my life go down in Technicolor.

  But then the blonde moves in front of Drew and reaches for his face, says something to him that makes him smile, and then kisses him.

  “You goddamn asshole.” As soon as the words are out of me, it happens.

  My stomach clenches so hard, white dots spot my vision.

  And my water breaks.

  37

  Drew

  When I walk in to my condo, I’m greeted with a bong, a few cases of beer, and pizza boxes stacked on the coffee table. Trays of food cover the kitchen table like they’re waiting for an army. The music’s on, and about ten people are in my living room.

  My inner balloon of happiness fizzles to the floor.

  God, I’ve had enough of this shit for the rest of my life.

  Guess this is what happens when I’ve been living like a monk for months. When I give an inch, they take a fucking football field.

  I open my mouth to yell, “Everyone get the hell out of here,” when I’m bowled over by Fernando, my tall, wiry hipster friend in a porkpie hat and pointy-toe shoes.

  “I can’t believe it! Big, bad Drew’s gonna be a daddy.” Fernando shakes my hand and slaps my back.

  An unimpeded smile spreads on my face.

  I’m gonna be a dad.

  The reminder is so intense, I almost forget I’m pissed at Ian for throwing a party at my place.

  “That’s right,” I say, focusing on his horn-rimmed glasses. He’s always a Red Bull energy drink about to explode, but I’ll admit his enthusiasm is contagious.

  “Is it true?” asks Mark, a friend from high school wearing a neat, button-down shirt and dark jeans. “Your choad nectar is incubating?”

  “Fuck.” I throw back my head and laugh. “Choad nectar? Seriously?” Someone shoves a glass of whiskey in my hand, and I reflexively take it.

  He smirks and pulls his hands out like he’s weighing choices. “Would you prefer high-fructose porn syrup? Daddy sauce? Dongwater?”

  Okay, maybe I miss these guys sometimes.

  In small doses.

  Not at my house.

  They make me laugh, though.

  “I prefer to call the twins the best things that have ever happened to me.”

  Mark stares at me and blinks. “You serious, bro?”

  “Abso-fucking-lutely.” I can’t help grinning like a dumbass.

  “Twins. Holy shit.” He cackles and pulls me into a bear hug. “That’s awesome. So stoked for you, man!”

  While I’m growing up, maybe my friends are too.

  Ian, wearing preppy shorts and a polo shirt, hands me a cigar. Gripping it, I feel like a 1920s mobster, although I appreciate the tradition. Makes me feel even more like an expecting father. He turns off the music, waves to the others like a ringmaster, and clears his throat. “I have an announcement to make.”

  Everyone’s eyes are on him, but I speak first. “I’m gonna be a dad!” I yell.

  A shout goes up. The music volume increases. And I’m surrounded by friends who tell me how happy they are for me.

  I’m happy for me, too.

  And it’s such a relief to tell everyone and experience their smiles, best wishes, and congratulations. The pats on the back and the hugs. The high-fives.

  People who know me who don’t act like my parents.

  We shout over the music. We laugh and clink glasses.

  It would be rude to kick everyone out now.

  Four people I recognize from the clubs walk in, give me hugs, and drop off bottles of Jack and Coke. Then Dana and Chelsea Buchanan arrive, dressed to go out after this. I smile as I think about last time I saw them at the Huntington Hotel and consider how far I’ve come. And all the big things in my future.

  The light lingers late on this warm summer evening, and I want to take advantage of it. Shazam races out of the bedroom like a hellcat, and I stick the cigar in my mouth, scoop him up, and head to my patio. Leaning against the railing, I set down the cat, who rubs his face against my calves. With Kendall napping, I bet she’ll knock out for a few hours. Josh and Evie will make sure she’s safe. I check my phone to see if there are any messages from her, but there aren’t.

  While the cigar stays in my hand, I don’t want to light it, since they stink. I haven’t sipped the drink either, but having it in my hand is a defense system. If I have a drink, I don’t need one.

  I like being tested like this and passing with flying colors.

  A few people join me on the patio, then more, until it’s getting crowded out here. Guess the entire party has moved outside. Shazzy curls up on a cushion in a last ray of sunshine and tucks himself in.

  As the sun goes low, Ian wanders out. “I love your place.”

  “Glad you made yourself comfortable,” I say sarcastically. He laughs and asks about work.

  The volume inside rises. A few more people must have stepped in.

  “Next time I come back, you’re gonna have kids. Living beings. Mouths to feed. That’s…overboard.”

  I nod. “I know. I can’t wait, though. I didn’t realize it, but I’ve always wanted—”

  Mark opens the sliding glass door and comes out with a whiskey bottle. “Need a refill?”

  I hold up my still-full glass. “I’m good.”

  He gestures at Shaz. “Where’d you get the cat?”

  “It’s a long story,” I begin—but the door opens—the music louder—and this time Sadie comes out with the Buchanan twins. Sadie’s wearing a summer dress and weaving a bit.

  How much has she had?

  How long have I been outside?

  Sadie gives Mark a sloppy kiss, and Ian and I exchange amused looks behind their backs. When they finally disentangle themselves, I ask, “How long have you two been dating?”

  “A few months. You haven’t been out with us!” she complains, with a fake pout.

  How come I never noticed how whiny she is?

  “Been busy.” I gesture with my cigar.

  “I think you’re gonna be a great dad,” she says, nodding drunkenly. “I mean that. You’re gonna be the best dad ever. Ever.”

  While tipsy praise means nothing, it still feels good to hear it. She pats my bicep and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

  “You goddamn asshole!”

  I pause, wondering who fucked up and how badly when I turn and see Kendall.

  And realize she’s screaming.

  At me.

  Everyone stills, parting around her.

  She’s standing in the doorway, pissed and gorgeous and very pregnant.

  Based on her expression and the hurt look in her eyes, I know I’m the one who’s fucked up. Badly.

  Questions rush through my mind.

  How did she get here? How late is it?

  Oh, fuck, I’ve been here too long.

  Is that why she’s so upset?

  “Ken—babe, what are you doing here? Sorry I’m running late—”

  She doubles over in pain with a grunt. As I reach my arms out to steady her, she shrinks away from me like I’m a monster. That’s when I notice fluid streaming down her legs. The puddle at her feet.

  My gut clenches, and I feel lightheaded.

  She’s in labor.

  She’s not due for another four weeks. Wait, five? Shit, I can’t remember. But she just went into labor.

  The doctor said twins often arrive early, that they could be delivered safely around the thirty-fifth or thirty-sixth week. I scramble to do the math in my head, freaking the fuck out.

  Automatically, I reach for her shoulders to steady her. “Let’s get to the emergency room, KK.”

  “No,” she cries, her arms thrashing, pushing me away. “Not you. I need Evie. Evie?” she calls, her voice shaky as tears stream down her face. Out of nowhere, Evie’s at her side
. “Can you take me to the hospital?”

  Evie whispers to her and takes her hand.

  I’m so fucking confused. Hurt Kendall seems to want nothing to do with me. Jesus, what is happening right now? She must be in so much pain to be crying. KK never cries.

  I want to wrap her in my arms and carry her out of here, but she looks horrified.

  By me.

  Josh materializes by Kendall’s other side to take her other arm.

  He glances at me over his shoulder with a pained expression I don’t understand.

  Until I reenter my condo.

  Goddamn it.

  And then I’m fucking speechless.

  What had been a party with a little pot and a dozen or so people is now packed. What was just a group of friends, pizza, and beer is now a den of debauchery.

  I’m seeing what Kendall saw.

  Naked women gyrating on Fernando to the thump of loud music.

  Drugs.

  Molly.

  Coke.

  So much pot it feels like my living room’s been hotboxed.

  Glasses, bottles, drinks, heat, sex.

  I’m too stunned to do anything at first, I just push my way through the horde trying to figure out the best way to get everyone the hell out of here.

  But then I notice my babies’ ultrasound picture on the floor in the kitchen speared under the stiletto of someone I don’t even know, and I snap.

  What. The. Fuck?

  Rage like I’ve never experienced before hammers my heart so hard, I might stroke out.

  I’m absolutely fucking done.

  Striding over to the stereo, I shut off the music, which makes everyone take notice. “Party’s over! Get the fuck out. You have two minutes before I call the cops.”

  I stride over to Ian. “Get everyone out of my house, or I will personally remove your scrotum with a dull blade.”

  He cringes. “Dude—”

  “You made this mess. Clean it up. My girlfriend’s in labor. She saw this shit and looked like I stabbed her in the heart. I can’t imagine what she’s thinking.” I rub my face, feeling like the douchebag she always thought I was. There’s so much momentum from my past that when all the dirty crap surfaces again, it’s so much worse than when I was living this lifestyle. “Ian, you know I haven’t been partying. I don’t want my house trashed with drugs when I’m trying to get my shit together. If you were a halfway decent human being, you’d understand. I gotta go to the hospital. Don’t be here when I get back.”

  He gives me a wide-eyed nod and starts shuttling people out the door. “Everyone out. We’ll meet up at…”

  I grab my keys, wallet, and phone, shove through people leaving, and race down my hallway to catch up with Kendall. Too impatient to take the elevator, I open the stairwell and practically leap down the whole flight.

  But when I get downstairs, I realize she’s gone.

  A lump forms in my throat.

  Fuck. FUCK.

  Once I get to my car, I tear out, headed to the hospital, hoping I make it before she does.

  The devastation on her face will haunt my nightmares for the rest of my life.

  I need to talk to her.

  Explain how this happened.

  Tell her I love her.

  Damn it.

  How have I never told her I love her?

  After breaking about ten traffic laws, I powerslide my car into the first parking spot I find, jump out, and sprint into the hospital, hoping I’m not too late.

  For the birth. For our relationship.

  For everything that’s ever mattered to me.

  38

  Kendall

  In between each soul-wrenching contraction, vicious thoughts slice through me.

  Drew’s partying.

  With naked women.

  And lines of coke.

  And so much fucking booze.

  “Are we almost there?” I whimper from the back seat of Evie’s car.

  “ETA is five minutes.” She twists in the passenger seat to reach out and grab my hand while Josh swerves around a vehicle.

  When I release her grip, I slump down deeper into the leather seats. I’m grateful they had a spare blanket to sit on because my legs are sopping wet.

  Nothing like having your water break in front of the beautiful woman draped over your boyfriend.

  And it wasn’t a drizzle of liquid. No, it wasn’t dainty like that. It was a Big Gulp releasing from my crotch like a dam broke. So much water that some drunk girl in Drew’s condo stopped me on the way out to ask me if I’d peed my pants.

  I lean over onto my side and curl up into a ball and ignore the tears leaking out of my eyes.

  I realize I don’t know exactly what I saw tonight. If Drew was truly macking on some girl. Or if that was just the appetizer. If I hadn’t shown up right then, would that have gone farther?

  Has it already?

  My mind is reeling with questions and suspicions and betrayal.

  All those times he left me in the middle of the night to sleep at his place.

  Has he been seeing someone?

  Has he been bullshitting me about how much he’s changed?

  Truly, I never thought he could lie to that degree, but what do I know? I just walked up and saw him kissing some woman. Maybe I’m a game to him.

  And that’s why he hasn’t introduced me to his parents or friends.

  I cry harder.

  In this moment, I realize this is heartbreak. That nothing I’ve experienced with any man before has ever reached this level of intensity.

  Of love.

  And hate.

  One thing is certain—nothing will ever be the same after tonight.

  Josh clears his throat. “Kendall, I know that looked bad back there, but—”

  “Shut up, Josh,” I croak, my voice thick. “Have you been covering for him? Has he been cheating on me all this time and you’ve had his back?”

  “Fuck, no, Kendall. Eagle Scout’s honor.”

  He holds up three fingers like a moron.

  Evie turns back to me. “He really is an Eagle Scout, you know.”

  I roll my eyes.

  “Listen to me.” Josh glances at me at a stop sign. “Drew loves you. He’s so obsessed with you and the babies, I promise you—on my life—that he’s not cheating on you. Yes, shit got out of hand at his condo, and you have every right to hand him his ass when you see him, but I know that man, he loves you with his heart and soul.”

  He loves me so damn much but he’s never said it? He’s never brought up marriage or what happens after the babies arrive. He’s never told me he wants more.

  Drew loves me? Yeah, right.

  I’m done being a sucker.

  As though to punctuate my misery, a teeth-clenching contraction tightens my whole body, and I gasp into the leather seat.

  “Her contractions are six minutes apart,” Evie whispers to Josh.

  “It’s okay. We’re here.”

  The car lurches to a stop. Doors open and close. A nice nurse sticks her head in the back seat and introduces herself.

  She’s maneuvering me from the car to a wheelchair. I stand, only for a moment.

  And my water breaks.

  Again.

  Seriously?

  I cover my face. No one told me I’d have two waters break.

  Along with my heart.

  I’m the fucking moron here. All around.

  “It’s okay, Mom.” The nurse rubs my back gently. “So you’re having twins? Your friend tells me you’re due soon. Looks like you’re doing great. Twins almost always arrive a little early. Let’s get you inside and comfortable.”

  She’s wheeling me away, and I realize I don’t have Drew anymore. I’m doing this by myself. All by myself.

  I tell the nurse to stop and then reach for Evie. “Call Tristan. Tell him I’m here. He’ll want to know.”

  Drew might not give a rat’s ass, but Tristan will.

  39

  Drew
>
  “Kendall Greer. I need to know what room Kendall Greer is in.” I close my eyes, squeeze the bridge of my nose, and try to slow down my roaring pulse while the hospital intake employee behind the glass enclosure hunts and pecks the letters on the keyboard with aggravating slowness.

  K-E-N-D—

  If there wasn’t plexiglass between us, I’d hop over the counter and type it myself. A riot of coughing starts behind me, and I wince. Full of the injured and sick, the ER is a wholly miserable place.

  I gotta get to Kendall.

  Come on, come on.

  “There is no Kendall Greer in the Emergency Room. She’s up in Maternity. Fourth floor.”

  I hit my forehead with the base of my hand. You dumbfuck, Drew. You should know this. You took the prenatal class with her.

  But I’m so out of my element I forgot. Guess I figured since Kendall’s water broke she’d be here.

  “Thanks,” I call, as I race out of the waiting room, then skid down the hall to the main lobby of the hospital.

  After taking the world’s slowest elevator to the fourth floor, I dash to the maternity reception area.

  “One moment, please.” The nurse smiles at me, holds up her finger, and continues talking on the phone. While she seems friendly enough, I don’t have patience for this. I’m ready to violate any hospital regulation to get to my girlfriend.

  I hope she’s still my girlfriend.

  God, that’s a horrible thought.

  But when I think about the look on her face and how she didn’t want me to touch her… I can’t imagine the shit going through her head right now.

  Despite the chairs scattered around the room, my nerves force me to keep standing, and I start to pace. Back and forth, back and forth, memorizing the lines on the cold linoleum floor. Waiting for the nurse to finish her call.

  Fuck it. I’m gonna roam the halls and find KK, with or without permission.

  Railings line the wide hall, which has fluorescent lights overhead. I sprint down the corridor, look at the last name on the board outside a room, sprint to the next room, check the name, sprint again, until I slam into that asshole Tristan exiting a suite. We both stumble back.