Temptation

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  “Get away from me! Don’t you touch me! Don’t you ever touch me!” Her vicious scream echoed throughout the room.

  Jefferson jumped back. “No, Kyla, no. I love you! I have to tell you what happened.”

  “Love? How can you talk about love? You don’t know what love is.”

  He lowered his head. He had planned the words he would speak if the Lord would only bring Kyla back to him, but now his words sounded so empty. “Kyla, I am so sorry. You will never know. There . . . there is really nothing I can say. Except that I love you with all my heart . . .”

  The warmth of his voice seared through to her heart and her knees weakened. She moved away. “Do you think saying you’re sorry is going to change anything?” she cried. She turned back facing him, ready for the fight. “How could you do this to me, Jefferson? How could you do this to us?”

  “I . . . don’t . . . know,” he stammered. “I . . . Kyla . . .” He stopped. What could he say? “Kyla . . . you’re right. Saying sorry doesn’t change anything, but there is one thing that will never change and that is . . . I love you.”

  “How can you even form your lying lips to say that to me? How can you say you love me when you were in bed with my best friend?”

  “No . . . it’s not what you think. That’s not what happened.”

  Kyla searched his eyes. “Are you saying that you didn’t have sex with her?”

  Jefferson hesitated, hearing the hope in her voice and Brian’s words came back to him. “Just tell her it didn’t happen . . .”

  He gazed into her eyes, then turned away. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. All I’m saying is that there is no way I could ever explain to you what happened, because I don’t even know . . . not really. But I do know that I love you and I will do anything . . . anything I have to do to make this up to you.” Jefferson stepped towards his wife. “I know how much I hurt you, Kyla. It’s all I can think about. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. But I have prayed and prayed that somehow you’ll be able to find it in your heart to forgive me.”

  “Forgive you for what? For having an affair? Or for being stupid enough to be caught with her in my bed?”

  “There was no affair,” Jefferson said wearily. “It was only that one time, Ky. Just Saturday . . .”

  Kyla picked up her bag.

  “No, please wait. It’s true. We were not having an affair. It just happened this once. Jasmine came over. I kept trying to push her away . . . it just happened. It had nothing to do with my love for you . . .” Jefferson stopped, realizing how ridiculous it all sounded. When he saw the look on his wife’s face, he continued in a whisper. “Kyla . . . I’m telling the truth.”

  “Let me tell you what the truth is, Jefferson. I come home from a weekend with my parents. I find my husband in bed with my friend. That’s the truth.”

  Jefferson’s shoulders slumped. “Kyla, I will say this until you believe it. I am so sorry. I love you so much.” His eyes pleaded for her understanding.

  “I’m supposed to believe that you love me. Based on what?”

  “Based on everything that we’ve had, Kyla. Based on all of the years. Don’t base this on one night, one mistake.”

  “Everything we had and all of those years didn’t keep your pants on and your butt out of our bed with my friend!”

  Jefferson winced as her emotions pierced him. He had known she’d be hurt, but the depth of her pain and anger rocked him.

  Silence hung between them before Jefferson slumped into the chair. When he looked up, tears filled his eyes and his voice was soft. “Kyla, all I can say is that I love you. Please just tell me, what do I have to do? What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness?”

  She had to fight back her own tears. “Just like that? I’m supposed to forget all that happened? That might be easy for you. But what about me? It’s not simple for me.”

  “It’s not simple for me either. I hurt, because I hurt you. I would never do anything on purpose to cause you any kind of pain. I just want to make this up to you.”

  Kyla walked over to the chair where Jefferson sat and stood directly over him. With narrowed eyes, she stared down at him. He tried to meet her stare, but through her eyes, he could see her pain and had to look away. His entire body began to shake.

  “Jefferson, you can never make this up to me. It’s over between us. I want you out of this house and I want you out before the weekend.”

  “No! I . . . no!” He raised his voice as he stood. “I will not do that, Kyla. I will not move out. We have to find a way to work this out. What about us? What about our family? What about Nicole?”

  “What about Nicole! Jefferson, what about the fact that Nicole was supposed to come home with me, and if she had your daughter would have found you in bed with her Auntie Jasmine. You weren’t thinking about your family when you had Jasmine up in my bed.”

  Turning, she walked away from him, toward the door, but as she got to the pantry, she turned back. “If there is any bit of the man that I loved left in you, you won’t make this difficult.” She hurled her words across the room like sharpened spears. “Just leave, Jefferson. Get out. I want you out of my life!”

  Kyla slammed the door, leaving a bewildered, shattered Jefferson buckled over in absolute, sheer pain.

  As soon as the garage door opened, Jasmine sat up. It seemed like minutes passed before the Lexus pulled out. Jasmine peered through her windshield, making sure Kyla was alone.

  She watched Kyla drive down the hill, then looked towards the open garage door. Jefferson was probably really upset right now and she could comfort him. But, there was something else she had to do. She had to make sure Kyla was returning to Santa Barbara.

  Jasmine started the car and sped down the hill. At the bottom, Kyla’s car was stopped at the light. She waited a half-block back, until the light changed before she pulled into the traffic behind Kyla. They drove for several blocks before Jasmine watched as Kyla drove past the freeway ramp.

  “Oh no,” Jasmine whispered. “Where are you going?” She continued to follow, her fingers tapping the steering wheel. When Kyla turned onto Wilshire, Jasmine had her answer. Kyla pulled up to the valet in Alexis’ building and jumped from the car. Jasmine noticed the bag she had with her. At least that was a good sign.

  She turned her car around. What was going on? Were they separating? How long would Kyla be gone? Now, being with Jefferson tonight took on greater importance.

  She returned to the Blakes’ house and turned into their driveway. The garage door was down. She smoothed her dress as she rang the front door. No answer. She rang the bell again. And again. And again. Still, no answer. She stood there for five minutes, ringing the bell before she finally slumped away.

  Where was he? She wondered if she should wait, but knew in her heart that all the plans for tonight were over. She started her car and backed out of the driveway. The night may have been over, but Jasmine’s plans were not. As long as Kyla and Jefferson were separated, she knew she had a chance. She would just have to make sure their separation was lasting.

  Thirteen

  * * *

  For the second time that day, Alexis stood in the hallway, waiting for the elevator. To her surprise, the doorman had just called up, announcing Kyla’s arrival. After the call she’d made to Jefferson, she was sure he would have run into his house like a king staking claim to his kingdom, prepared to rescue his wife and save his marriage.

  “Wow! What happened to you?” Alexis asked when she saw Kyla’s face. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

  Kyla dropped her bag in the middle of the floor. “I did. I just saw two.”

  “Two what?”

  “Two ghosts—Jefferson and Jasmine.”

  Alexis swallowed hard. “You just saw Jefferson and Jasmine . . . together?”

  “Oh, no,” Kyla said. “Not together. Jefferson came home early, but Jasmine was following me like she was in the middle of some I Spy movie. She tried to stay a few cars behind, b
ut I saw her as soon as I turned onto Slauson. She followed me all the way to your front door.”

  “No way! This girl has really gone off the deep end. She didn’t try to say anything to you?” Alexis asked sitting next to Kyla.

  “No, not that I would’ve stopped and talked to her. This whole afternoon was unreal. Just as I was ready to leave my house, Jefferson shows up!”

  “Really?” Alexis pretended to be surprised.

  “Yeah, he came home and came running in the house like I was supposed to be waiting for him. We had a huge fight, and when I left, that’s when I saw Jasmine.”

  “I don’t get that part. Maybe she wasn’t really following you.”

  “I’m not being paranoid, if that’s what you think. Like I said, I first noticed her when I crossed Slauson, but I didn’t pay any attention until I was halfway up LaBrea and saw that it really was her.”

  “What do you think that was all about?”

  “I don’t know, but whatever her problem is, it’s getting out of hand. First, she sleeps with my husband and now she’s following me. She’s scary.”

  “Kyla, she’s crazy, but the witch is harmless.”

  “What she did with Jefferson wasn’t harmless.”

  “Okay, but I still don’t think there’s anything for you to worry about. As funny as it may seem, I think she considers herself your friend and I don’t think she wants to hurt you.”

  Kyla wrinkled her face and looked at Alexis sideways. “I can’t think of anything that could have hurt me more.”

  Alexis’ face softened. “I know, sweetie. I think she’s acting out her hurt, not deliberately hurting you. So, did you and Jefferson get to talk at all?”

  “Talk? I was screaming like a madwoman.” Kyla rested her elbows on her knees and held her head. “Alexis, I am so scared.”

  Alexis put her arms around her friend. “You’re the one who’s always quoting 2 Timothy 1:7. You know how the devil uses fear.”

  “I know God is with me and that this whole thing will somehow be turned around for His glory. But how can anything good come out of this?” She wanted to burst into tears again. The emotions were there, but now she felt hollow—like there was nothing left inside.

  “Give it to God, girl. You’re trying to handle this and you can’t. Give it to God, and listen to what the Lord wants you to do. You taught me that.”

  “I’m trying. I keep praying and praising. But inside, everything is all mixed up. Then, when I saw Jefferson . . .”

  “Wait!” Alexis said, then held up her hands as a thought came to her mind. “You still haven’t had anything to eat, have you?”

  Kyla shook her head.

  “Look, if you’re going to stay with me, you have to eat. I don’t know how to take care of sick people.” She went to her kitchen, banging the cabinets as she yelled out to Kyla. “So, I’m going to feed you.”

  Kyla sat in the living room, running her fingers along the stripes in the couch, and looked up when she heard Alexis return.

  “The only thing is . . . I don’t have any food,” Alexis whined, her eyes drooped downward like a lost puppy.

  For the first time in days, Kyla laughed, a hearty laugh from deep inside, replacing, for a moment, the fury that still festered there.

  “Well, who needs food when you’ve got money?” Alexis pulled out her wallet and spread several bills between her fingers. “You know my philosophy: don’t do anything you can pay someone else to do. Who should we pay to cook us some food?”

  Wiping tears of laughter from her cheeks, Kyla said, “I told you, it doesn’t matter. I’m not even hungry. This has erased my desire for food. I could start a new diet—the Infidelity Diet.”

  “That sounds like a winner!” Alexis squealed. “My agency will do all the advertising for you.”

  Kyla sat up. “Maybe some Chinese would be good. But first, can I take a shower and change my clothes? I’d hate to run you out of your own place with this serious body odor I’ve got going on.”

  Alexis was still chuckling. “Okay, go change and I’ll order a lot of different things we can share. It’ll be fun.”

  Within an hour, the two friends were sitting on the spacious balcony, enjoying the food and the serenity of the evening. The change in this neighborhood from day to night always amazed Kyla. Daytime hours were bustling with business, but by night, most people had returned to their suburban homes, transforming the area from business to upscale residential, creating a haven that still remained a wonderfully kept secret. Now, as she sat eleven floors up staring at the skyline of the city, tranquility blanketed her. The pressure of the last hours seemed to dissipate into the evening air.

  “It is so beautiful out here.”

  “It is, isn’t it? That’s why I love living here,” Alexis said, then added, “but nothing compares to the view you have from your home.”

  Kyla chuckled lightly. “Good job of bringing up the subject.”

  “I know you want to talk, and I’m going to listen,” Alexis said as she kicked off her mules and leaned back in the lounger.

  Kyla laid down her chopsticks. “I still can’t believe this. I never thought adultery would be an issue in my marriage. I knew we would have problems, but . . . I never thought it would be another woman.”

  “Have you ever thought about how it happened?” Alexis asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, when you first told me, honestly, I didn’t believe you. I kept saying to myself that the Jefferson Blake I knew would never do anything like this . . .”

  “That’s what I thought . . .”

  “So, I was trying to think of all the ways Jasmine could have done it. I mean, Kyla, I know you’re hurt right now, but when you can get past your anger and look at this objectively, you will see that this doesn’t make any sense. Jefferson doesn’t even like Jasmine. He told me that himself.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t remember, at some party or something. But my point is, while I don’t know what happened, I can tell you that this was not your everyday, ordinary affair. What did Jefferson say when you saw him?”

  Kyla sighed. “He didn’t say much. He wasn’t trying to defend himself. All he kept saying was that he was sorry and that he loved me.”

  Alexis smiled. “That’s Jefferson. He’s not making excuses or placing blame. He’s just telling you the two most important things: that he’s sorry and he loves you. You can’t be mad at him for that.”

  A moment passed. “Saying sorry is not enough. I feel so bad right now I don’t even have the words to describe what’s going on inside of me. Sometimes I feel hurt, sometimes I feel pain. And then at other moments, I am so ashamed.”

  Alexis leaned forward, touching her friend’s knee. “I know, sweetie. But with time, this will pass away and you’ll be fine. You’re hurt and I truly understand that, but Kyla, no one gets out of this life without some pain. It’s just not possible. What separates us from others is how we deal with it. You’re a strong Christian woman. That stands for something and you’ve got to act that way.”

  “I know what I’m supposed to do, but I just can’t,” Kyla said with tears stinging her eyes. “I can’t just walk in there and forgive Jefferson. I can’t even stand to look at him. It’s too much for me to handle.”

  “No it’s not! God told us that there would be many trials and tribulations and obstacles and adversaries. But our job is to stand and battle them all!”

  “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “Fight. You can’t throw away a union that God blessed because Jefferson made a mistake. You’ve got to forgive.”

  “I don’t have it in me. I already asked Jefferson to move out.”

  “And he agreed?”

  “No, he said he won’t leave.”

  “Good! At least one of you is willing to stand.”

  “It’s easy for him, I didn’t break his heart. I didn’t toss him aside.”

  “Okay, I’ll give you all of tha
t. Even so, the two of you should still be together.”

  “How can you be so sure, Alex? How can you know that Jefferson is the one I should be with, especially after what has happened?”

  “Oh come on, Ky. You’ve been married forever and this is the first time you’ve had any serious crisis in your relationship. You’re just hurt now. But when you pray about this, you’ll know that you’re supposed to be with Jefferson. God blessed you and your marriage too much for you to think it was a mistake. ’Cause you know, girl, the Lord doesn’t make mistakes.”

  Kyla stared over the balcony’s edge and remained silent.

  “I know you’ve got to feel something,” Alexis continued. “You’ve got to know in your heart that you and Jefferson belong together, even with all of this.”

  “When I was at our house today, I had such mixed feelings. There were times when I felt that if Jefferson had been standing there, I could have killed him with my bare hands. But then, the very next moment, I wanted to take those same hands and put them around my husband. Hold him and have him hold me. I’ve never felt so confused in my life. I feel like I’m going crazy. I wish I could just disappear for a little while and come back when this is all over.”

  “Well that’s not going to happen. You have to live through each and every step of this, no matter how painful. You and Jefferson have to resolve this together.”

  “I don’t understand these opposing feelings I have. I can’t forgive him, yet I still have feelings for him.”

  “It’s the Holy Spirit, girl. God is speaking to your heart.”

  “I can’t just forgive him.”

  “How can you say that? That’s what your salvation is all about, Kyla. That’s what Jesus is all about.”

  Kyla felt the tears starting to flow. “But this is not the same.”

  “You’re right, it’s not. What Jesus does for us is much greater.”

  “It hurts too much.” Kyla put her head in her hands and started to cry again.

  Alexis pulled her chair closer to Kyla’s and took her hands. “There you go again. Talking about your hurt. Look, I know this is hard, but walking with the Lord is always hard. Kyla, I’m not saying that Jefferson doesn’t have to answer for what he did. He has some explaining to do to you and to God. But you have to do what you know is right in the Lord’s eyes. Our entire relationship with God is based on our forgiving so that He can forgive us.”