Temptation

by Victoria Christopher Murray

  “I know that . . .”

  “So, you’ve got to act on what you know. You have to go to Jefferson and talk it out. God ordained your marriage, so you have to fight for it. You don’t have any choice.”

  “But . . .” Kyla sniffed.

  “You and Jefferson have to get together and pray. God will give you the answers and the direction. God will never let you down.”

  “I thought Jefferson would never let me down either.”

  “Kyla, we’re talking about two different beings here. Maybe that’s your problem. Jefferson is good, but he is not God. He’s a man with flesh that leads him in the wrong direction every day, just like the rest of us. But, Jefferson already has God’s forgiveness. And now, you have to give him yours.”

  “Do you think that’s what this is all about, Alex? Do you think I’m being tested for my ability to forgive?” Kyla’s voice was soft.

  “I don’t know. Our faith is always being tested. But the Kyla I’ve grown to love has it inside of her to come through all of this. The Kyla I know has God.”

  Kyla reached over and hugged her friend. She held onto Alexis tightly, fighting back the tears that continued to beat against her eyelids.

  “Hey, what time is it?” Alexis asked pulling back. “It’s almost seven-thirty. We’re going to be late for Bible study. Let’s go. We can clean up this mess when we get back.”

  “You go. I’m going to stay here.”

  Alexis put her hands on her hips. “What? Kyla Blake miss a Monday night Bible study? What will Pastor say?”

  “Absolutely nothing, because she knows I’m always there.”

  “And that’s why you have to go tonight. Especially tonight, Kyla.”

  Kyla was silent and when she finally spoke her voice quivered. “I can’t go, not tonight.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because . . . Jefferson might be there.”

  “Oh . . .” Alexis sighed. “Kyla, you can’t stop going to church just because you might see Jefferson. What about The Compassion House? Are you going to let that go too since Jefferson is on the board?”

  “I don’t know. Pastor called while I was home today and left a message that she wanted to talk to me. I’m sure it’s about The Compassion House and I’m going to ask her to let someone else take over for a while . . .”

  “Oh, brother . . .”

  “Alexis, you just don’t understand.”

  “I guess I don’t.” Alexis looked at her friend, at a loss for what to say next.

  “If you’re going to make it to Bible study, you should get going.”

  Alexis squinted at her watch. She hated missing it, but maybe there was something the Lord wanted her to do here. “Well, maybe neither one of us has to miss Bible study,” she said, finally.

  Kyla frowned.

  “Let’s just have our own study here tonight. We can read, talk a little, pray a lot . . .”

  “I hate to have you miss it . . .”

  “That’s okay. But you’ve got to promise me one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That I get to lead the study. We’ll study the scriptures I come up with.”

  “Alexis . . .”

  “Those are the terms,” Alexis said, holding up her hands indicating that was the way it was going to be. “You start cleaning up out here and I’ll get my Bible. Be right back.”

  A few minutes later, they were sitting at the dining room table with an opened Bible and notepads.

  “Okay,” Alexis started. “We’re going to start with Matthew 6:14–15. Would you mind reading it out loud?”

  Kyla turned to the scripture, then rolled her eyes. “Alexis . . .”

  “Remember the terms. I’m missing Bible study tonight so that we can do this together. And, I’m leading. So . . .”

  Kyla sighed. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

  Alexis smiled. “That’s enough! Bible study is over. Now, let’s pray.”

  “Hey, honey. You must’ve been expecting me. I didn’t even hear the phone ring,” Brian chuckled.

  “I caught it on the first ring.” Alexis sat up in her bed. “I didn’t want it to wake Kyla.”

  “She’s there with you?” Alexis could hear his surprise.

  “Yeah . . .” Alexis said, not sure how much she wanted to tell Brian.

  “Thank God!” When she didn’t respond, Brian continued, “It’s okay, Alexis. Jefferson told me everything.”

  “Everything?”

  “Yeah, don’t sound so surprised. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

  “No, it’s not that,” Alexis said turning up the light in her room. “I didn’t think he would say anything to anyone.”

  “Why not? He’s hurting, you know.”

  “Kyla has a lot more to hurt about.”

  “Jefferson is really upset that he brought this kind of pain on her.”

  “Well, I think Kyla has a right to be in pain.”

  Brian laughed. “Listen to us trying to say who’s suffering the most. What we should be doing is everything in our power to get them back together.”

  Alexis’ grin was wide. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

  “I knew there was a reason you liked me too. Does Jefferson know that Kyla’s with you? He’s been going out of his mind trying to find her.”

  “I think so. I tried to get them together this afternoon, but that was a disaster. Kyla is so hurt, she won’t listen to anything.” Alexis sighed. “I don’t know how Jefferson could have done this.”

  “Don’t start judging him.”

  “I’m trying not to. Whenever I find myself going there, I remember how Jesus dissed the Pharisees because they were so judgmental. So, I am not casting stones, but I still don’t understand.”

  “Well, Jefferson doesn’t know what hit him. Apparently, Jasmine went after him.”

  “Did he tell you what happened?”

  “Alexis . . .”

  “Okay, I don’t want to know the details.”

  Brian gave a light chuckle. “Don’t worry. They’ll make it through this. They love each other.”

  “And they both know the Lord.”

  “Which is the most important ingredient for any successful relationship,” Brian said.

  “Amen.”

  “That’s why our relationship is going to work.”

  Alexis was glad that he hadn’t said that to her in person where he would’ve been able to watch her blush and see her knees go weak.

  When she remained silent, Brian continued, “So, what do you think we can do?”

  “I’m going to keep working on Kyla. You make sure Jefferson doesn’t give up.”

  “Don’t worry about that. Jefferson will never give up. And there’s another thing we can do,” Brian said.

  “What?”

  “Pray.”

  Alexis sank into her pillows and smiled as she listened to Brian’s plan. He told her that he had already prayed for the Blakes, but that the two of them should develop a prayer of agreement. He asked her to turn to Matthew 16:19, which she did, even though she already knew the scripture. Verily I say unto you, whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

  Then they prayed, asking for the Lord’s direction as they stepped in to help their friends and binding satan’s power so that the union that God had ordained would last. They prayed that Kyla and Jefferson would open their ears and hearts to hear the words the Lord wanted them to hear.

  When Alexis hung up the phone, she turned off the light and snuggled under the comforter. “The most important ingredient for any successful relationship is for both people to know the L
ord,” Brian had said. “That’s why our relationship is going to work.”

  She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She was consumed with thoughts of Brian more and more. There hadn’t been anyone like this in her life and though she feared admitting it aloud, she knew where this relationship was going.

  But that was fine with her. He had all the right ingredients: he was intelligent, funny, had his own career, and was not at all threatened by her success. But, most importantly, he was a Christian. A walking, practicing Christian. Not someone who just talked about it. He was a man who lived it.

  “Just like Jefferson,” she sighed aloud. But she wasn’t going to let what had happened to Jefferson taint her belief in Brian.

  She turned over, pulled the pillow over her head, and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

  Fourteen

  * * *

  Jefferson bolted up in the bed. He was surrounded by darkness, except for the streetlight that cast a bronze hue throughout the room. Glancing at the clock, he saw it was midnight. Again. For the second night in a row, he was awake to greet a new day. As he leaned over to turn on the light, his Bible caught his eye and he picked it up, hugging it close to his chest.

  “God, I hope you’re right,” he said, his eyes raised towards the ceiling.

  The headache that had attacked him this afternoon had not retreated, even with sleep. It seemed to serve as a reminder of this storm in his life. As if he could forget!

  His eyes wandered to his wedding picture on the dresser. He’d been so happy with Kyla and he shook his head now, wondering if they’d ever capture that happiness again. The way things had gone this afternoon, he wasn’t sure about anything.

  It had taken him awhile to get himself together once Kyla had left. At first, he had run behind her, hoping somehow she would still be there. But the garage and the street were empty. Returning to the house, he had come up to their bedroom.

  This room that he’d had such difficulty facing now seemed to call him. He had laid on the bed, closed his eyes and let silent tears fall. Before yesterday, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d cried, and now, he couldn’t seem to stop. Men weren’t supposed to cry, he’d been taught. So with all the tears he’d shed over the last two days, he wondered if that meant he didn’t think of himself as a man. But it wasn’t tears that made him doubt his manhood.

  Exhaustion from the two emotion-packed days finally took him prisoner and he had collapsed into a restless slumber. He kept waking, intermittently, to the voices of Kyla and Nicole; but it was just wishful dreams.

  Now, he reached over to Kyla’s side of the bed and rubbed his hands along the comforter, imagining his wife’s body lying next to him. He held that image, knowing that she would come back to him. She just had to.

  How had it all come to this? Jefferson knew about all the statistics that said that most married men would commit adultery at some point in their relationships. And, in the past, he had had his temptations, though he knew with all certainty that he would never succumb. He knew from the moment that Kyla had captured his heart with her innocence, there would never be another woman for him. He thought back to their first date . . .

  “This was really nice,” Kyla had said as Jefferson walked her to her dorm room after they returned from dinner. “I had a good time.”

  Smiling down at her, he had leaned against the doorpost, moving in for the kiss. She kissed him back, a soft gentle one, and when he tried to probe his tongue further, she had stopped.

  “I think we should just end this now,” she had said. “Really,” he had said, his voice husky. “I was thinking I could come in.”

  Kyla shook her head. “I don’t think so.”

  “Why? I thought you said that your roommate was away for the weekend.”

  “She is.”

  “Well,” he had said returning his hands to her waist. “I figured we’d have some private time.”

  Keeping her smile, she shook her head again. “There is something I think you should know.”

  “Don’t talk,” he said kissing her on the neck. “Talking is not what I want to do.”

  “That’s what I have to tell you. I don’t do this.”

  He leaned back and looked in her eyes, waiting for her to finish the joke. When she didn’t, he asked, “Huh?”

  “I’m a virgin.”

  Immediately, Jefferson’s hands had dropped to his side. “Uh . . . well . . .”

  Kyla laughed. “That’s exactly what everyone says when I tell them.”

  “Well, uh, I guess . . . I should say . . .”

  “Good night?” Kyla had said, still smiling.

  “Yeah, good night.”

  Jefferson had returned to the Kappa House flabbergasted. It was unbelievable. The sixties revolution had overflowed into the seventies and he didn’t think there were any virgins left at Hampton Institute, or in all of Virginia, for that matter. That night, he made up his mind—he would never see her again. There were just too many available women on campus. He didn’t need to deal with all the issues of a virgin.

  So, with his decision made, no one was more surprised than he when he called her a few days later to go out again. And on this date, he decided to find out what her game was.

  “So, uh . . . you’re a virgin?”

  She had laughed. “Yup.”

  “You say that like it’s normal or something.”

  “It is to me. It’s part of my commitment to God. I’m a Christian.”

  “Well . . . uh, I know some Christian girls who aren’t virgins.”

  She hunched her shoulders. “I can’t talk for anyone else, I can only talk about me. I made a vow when I was thirteen years old through a program at my church. I vowed then that I would remain celibate until marriage. I don’t think I really knew what that meant back then, but as I’ve gotten older, it has become really important to me.”

  “But it’s been a long time since you were thirteen. I mean, things and times have changed. How did you make it through three years here without being . . . challenged?”

  “Oh, don’t think it hasn’t been a challenge,” Kyla chuckled in her soft manner. “It hasn’t been easy, but it has become simpler.”

  Although Jefferson had been unable to explain it to himself at the time, they continued to see each other, between the time he spent with other women, until he was no longer able to deny his feelings for Kyla. And even when he began to see Kyla exclusively, she could not be persuaded to sway from what she believed.

  “I’m sorry, Jefferson,” she had said to him on many occasions. “But marriage is the only way I can be released from this vow.”

  At first, Jefferson believed this was a woman’s elaborate ploy to lure him into a permanent commitment. But even when he tentatively proposed to her, hoping that she would consent to sleep with him, her views did not falter. She told him they should put off marriage until he finished medical school.

  “Your hormones must be wrapped in an iron box. I can’t deal with this,” Jefferson had tried to explain to her. “All of this fondling and caressing and stroking isn’t enough. It’s killing me. I’m frustrated. I was pretty active before I met you, if you know what I mean. And, I do love you, but . . .”

  “Jefferson, as much as I love you, I love God more. I don’t want to lose you, but I just can’t compromise. I can’t break the promises I made to the Lord. Trust me, you wouldn’t want me to do that either.”

  Jefferson had been baffled . . . and in love. No matter what, he couldn’t move on. It was at this point that he felt he had to find out more about the spiritual center of the woman he loved. She had often invited him to church, but he had refused, maintaining his belief that church was made for weddings and funerals.

  But Kyla had continued to invite him, never pushing, until he had finally agreed to go. When he attended the Sunday services, he could feel what she had in her life and at the same time, he really noticed the void in his.

  The pastor spoke with such pas
sion and conviction that Jefferson had been instantly moved. The message was different from the ones he’d heard before; it wasn’t the normal fire-and-brimstone and to-hell-you-will-go sermon. This pastor spoke of hope, saying that faith and hope went together. He spoke of life, not death. Everlasting life!

  Suddenly, it hit him. When the minister gave the invitation to people who wanted to know the Lord, Jefferson took Kyla’s hand and shakily walked to the altar. Though he didn’t know what to expect, Jefferson wanted to know the same God that gave Kyla her strength. He wanted to know the God that gave Kyla her peace and joy.

  Jefferson had been saved that day, accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, and he had walked with the Lord ever since. When he and Kyla had been married almost three years later, he had been celibate the entire time. And while none of it had been easy, Jefferson remembered that their wedding night was the most beautiful, sensual, sexual experience he’d ever had in his life.

  Now, as he lay on the bed stroking the comforter, he wondered what his life would be like from now on. For more than sixteen years, he had kept his marriage vows. Kyla was still the only woman he wanted. The only woman he could imagine his life with.

  He sat up and went to the window. Everything seemed so out of control, like someone else was guiding the ship of his life. He had only been trying to help his wife’s best friend. But something else had taken over. He remembered Jasmine had called him on Saturday . . .

  “Jefferson, I really need some help with my garage.”

  “I told you before, Jasmine, I don’t know how to fix those things.”

  “Well, what am I going to do?”

  When Jefferson heard her tears, he reluctantly agreed.

  “Thank you so much, Jefferson. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. Why don’t you stop by at about eight tonight?”