Snapped (Urban Renaissance)

by McKinney, Tina Brooks

  The phone interrupted my thoughts. I scurried away from it as if answering it would have burned me. Who would be calling me this late? I allowed it to ring two more times before I answered. “Hello.”

  Merlin said, “Babe, just in case you’re wondering, I’m at a hotel not far from the house.”

  I let his statement hang in the air. If I’d admitted to caring where he was staying, he might get the wrong impression.

  “I miss you, baby, I’m so—”

  “Save it, Merlin. In fact, let me get off the phone, because talking to you is only making me mad. Call before you come in the morning.” I hung up before he could say anything else, and before I could start crying. It felt like my heart was breaking in pieces.

  I threw myself on the bed and had another good cry. I remembered once reading that crying was good for the soul, but I doubt they meant this type of crying. I went through a whole gamut of emotions until I got sick and tired of my damn self.

  I pulled myself out of bed and went to take a shower. In the past, showers always refreshed me. While I was bathing, I didn’t think about what I was going to do next, I just went through the motions. I knew that I would not be going to work tomorrow, but I had to do something with my time or I’d go crazy.

  I started cleaning up the mess that Merlin made in the bedroom. I wasn’t claiming any of that shit ’cause I wasn’t a part of the deception. As I cleaned, I tried not to think about the violence I saw in my husband that I had never known existed. Without a shadow of a doubt, there was some very bad blood between the brothers. I tried to keep moving so I wouldn’t dwell on the past twenty-four hours.

  I changed the sheets on the bed and vacuumed the carpet, getting up the smaller pieces of glass that I was not able to get with my hands. When I shut off the vacuum, I heard the answering machine going in the kitchen.

  “Merlin, this is your mother. Pick up the phone.”

  I rolled my eyes. The very last person I wanted to hear from at this moment was his meddling mother. Talking to her was bound to make me feel even worse than I felt right at the moment, so I continued to listen to her talk to the machine.

  “I know you’re back in town ’cause your brother told me. Now be a good boy and pick up the phone.” She was speaking to the machine as if Merlin were actually standing there ignoring her ass, which he was known to do.

  “Merlin, we need to let bygones be bygones. Well, you’re probably busy, but you need to stop by and see me.” She hung up the phone, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  As long as she stayed her ass on the other side of town instead of coming over to our house, I would be all right.

  In the six and a half years that Merlin and I had been married, she came to visit one time. She was drunk, and all she did was complain. Most mothers would have been proud to see that their children were doing better than they had, but not Gina. She acted like Merlin owed her the same creature comforts that we’d been able to obtain. I walked into the kitchen to erase the message because I was not about to allow Gina to cause us any more drama.

  The next morning I woke figuring I’d fix myself a stiff drink. I needed something strong to help me forget the ass whupping my husband gave me and the thorough fuck his brother laid down.

  The doorbell interrupted me. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I approached the door with caution. My husband and I were not that popular, and we didn’t have a bunch of friends who stopped by unannounced. I tiptoed to the door and peeked through the peephole. I was shocked to see Merlin standing there. I snatched open the door, fire burning in my eyes. “Merlin, I said in the morning, but I didn’t mean the crack of dawn.”

  “You trying to make the same mistake twice?” Gavin was grinning at me like we shared some type of special bond. These brothers looked so much alike I couldn’t tell them apart.

  I stumbled back from the door, and he took this as an invitation to come inside. He turned and shut the door behind him.

  “What are you doing here?” I was very nervous about being alone with Gavin again after our last little encounter. Something happened between my legs that I needed to ignore.

  “Merlin told me that I could come by and pick out a few outfits to wear until I get my shit together.”

  “Merlin is not here.”

  “I gathered that.” He walked over and took a seat on the sofa as if he had every right to be in my house and in my presence.

  Any other time I might have found his cockiness appealing, but something about Gavin rubbed me the wrong way. It was like fingernails scratching against a chalkboard. “I don’t remember asking you to come in.”

  He sat up from his lounging position with a sinister smirk on his face. “But you didn’t ask me to leave, either.”

  I wanted to knock that silly smile right off his face. I could tell that Gavin was used to having his way with women, but he had come against the wrong sister this time. We may have wound up in a compromising position once before, but that shit would never happen again, despite the excitement soaking my panties.

  I walked over to the phone to call Merlin. I was not about to play this little game with Merlin’s brother. Keeping my eye on Gavin, I dialed Merlin’s number.

  He answered on the first ring. “Baby, I’m so glad you called. I’ve been up all night, and I just can’t get it together. I’ve been so worried about us.”

  I still wasn’t ready to have that conversation with my husband, but I needed his help to get his brother out of my house. “Merlin, your brother is here.” I cut right to the chase so there would be no confusion as to the nature of the call.

  “He’s what?” Merlin shouted into the phone.

  “He’s here in the living room. He claims that you told him to come over today to pick up some clothes?”

  “Shit, I forgot about it. He called me last night after we talked last. I’ll be right there.”

  I felt better knowing that he was on the way. I hung up the phone, and this time it was me who had a smirk on my face.

  “What? You had to call out the troops? If I didn’t know better, sis, I would think you didn’t like me or something.”

  I had to fight back the urge to fling my crystal vase at his head. I could tell he liked to get a rise out of people, and I refused to allow him to see me upset again. “Think what you like. My husband will be here soon.”

  “Damn, do you want me to wait outside?” He was trying to be funny.

  “As far as I’m concerned, you can sit out on the curb with the rest of the garbage.” The remark slipped out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it. There was just something about this man that brought out the worst in me.

  “Ouch, that hurt. I know you’re still mad about yesterday, but can’t we just put it behind us?”

  I was outdone. I could not believe he would sit right in my face and say some stupid-ass shit to me after what he did.

  The devil whispered in my ear: But you liked it.

  “I’m not going to even dignify your question with a response.” I left him sitting in the living room. I went into the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I wasn’t really hungry, but I was trying to dispel the nervous energy I felt. Regardless of how much I disliked my husband’s brother, I had to give it to him: he knew how to get down in the bedroom. So keeping my distance from him was a very good idea.

  I pulled some bacon from the refrigerator and placed several slices on the microwave rack. It wasn’t until I had turned on the microwave, I realized I’d cooked more than I’d intended to fix. It was too late to turn it off, so I went ahead with every intention of making breakfast for my husband.

  “You fixin’ some for me too?” Gavin called from the living room.

  “When donkeys fly.”

  “Now, sis, is that any way to treat your family?” Gavin had snuck up behind me. He was standing so close, I could feel his breath on my neck. Electricity flowed through me and landed between my legs. I grabbed a knife from the dish rack. I was prepared to cut him if I ha
d to.

  “Whoa, it’s not that serious.” With his hands in the air, Gavin backed out of the kitchen.

  “Either you wait for your brother in the living room or wait outside. The choice is yours.” I punctuated my words with the point of the knife.

  “Damn, if I didn’t know better, I would swear you needed some dick in your life.” He made it out of the room before I had a chance to throw the steak knife I was holding tightly in my left hand. I immediately remembered how he’d pinned my legs over his shoulder and gave me every inch of his business. The smell of burnt bacon and the ding of the timer brought me back to my senses. Gavin just didn’t know how close he had come to being a casualty.

  Grabbing a hand towel, I removed my breakfast from the microwave and threw it in the trash. I turned on the vent to get rid of the smell and opened the window to allow some fresh air into the house. I had just finished washing up the rack when the doorbell rang. Drying my hands on a towel, I went to answer the door, but to my chagrin, Gavin had beaten me to it.

  “What’s up, bro? You lose your key?”

  I could see the vein jumping on the side of Merlin’s neck, and I knew I had to do something to diffuse the situation. Walking past Gavin, I gave Merlin a big kiss on his lips. I could feel his body relax against mine.

  Merlin closed the door behind him. “How long are you here for?”

  “Dag, what is up with y’all? I said I was sorry about yesterday. It was a honest mistake.”

  Merlin tried to step past me to get to his brother, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him back. The last thing we needed was a repeat of the day before. Besides, it wouldn’t do anything to make the whole nasty situation disappear.

  Merlin said, “All right, man, I’m not about to press the issue. Let me just get you a few things so you can be on your way.”

  Gavin frowned; his nostrils flared. “Well, I missed your ass too.”

  My head swung between the brothers. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I would not have believed that two men could look so much alike. Even their mannerisms were the same. It was as if the egg was split in half. I tore my eyes away from Gavin, who was trying to stare a hole in me.

  Not wanting to get into another conversation with Gavin, I followed Merlin into the bedroom as he went through his clothes that I hadn’t managed to snatch from their hangers and fling to the floor.

  Merlin looked up when I walked into the room. “I guess I deserve this, too,” he said as his eyes surveyed the mess.

  For a moment I felt ashamed of my childish actions. Throwing his clothes on the floor or even setting them on fire, which was my first instinct, would not make the situation any better. “Merlin, I’ve been thinking. Yes, this is a fucked-up situation, but you are not entirely at fault. I have to share in some of the blame.” I could see the hope dancing in Merlin’s eyes.

  “I fault myself for not knowing the difference, but you have to promise me you will never ever put your hands on me again.”

  “Baby, I swear to you on everything I hold near and dear to my heart that I will never do anything to hurt you ever again.” He took a step toward me, but I instinctively backed away.

  “Not so fast. I’m not finished.”

  He stepped back.

  “We are going to have to get some counseling before this thing festers and gets even more ugly than it already is.”

  “I’m cool with that, but I’m only here for two weeks, minus a day now. But I will do whatever you say.”

  I walked toward my husband with my arms outstretched. Even though I was afraid of the decision I’d made, I knew that I was not ready to give up on my man and what we’d built together.

  Merlin wrapped his arms around me and we cried together. We were so in tune with each other that we forgot about Gavin in the other room. I was startled when I heard the refrigerator door shut, and I pushed away from Merlin’s embrace.

  “Your brother doesn’t have any manners.”

  “Don’t remind me. When he leaves, I’ll tell you all about my brother.”

  “I’m going to hold you to that because I find it strange that we’ve been together all this time and you or no one else ain’t never mentioned you had an identical twin. Is there anything else I should know about?”

  “Naw, that’s it. Let me get this fool some clothes so he can get up out of here.”

  I left Merlin in the closet while I went into the bathroom to wash my face. It was bad enough I had to see myself looking like a boxer; I didn’t need anyone else looking at me.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  GAVIN MILLS

  Being in the house with Merlin and his wife was starting to get on my nerves, and it was not what I had planned when I slipped over to their house unannounced. In fact, I was banking on Merlin sleeping somewhere else and ol’ girl being ripe for the picking. As much as I had tried to get the image of her naked body out of my mind, she’d kept swirling around my dreams all night long.

  For a moment, I wondered how long they had been together and just how tight their relationship was. If their relationship was on the rocks, I wasn’t adverse to stepping in and helping Merlin if he was having problems getting the job done in the bedroom.

  “Damn, did y’all forget I was here?” I yelled into the bedroom from the kitchen. I went in there to see if Cojo had any leftover bacon. The smell was lingering in the air. I didn’t care that it was burnt. My ass was hungry, and I’d rather eat up their food than spend the money that my brother had given me.

  “Hold your damn horses,” my brother yelled back.

  I was going to have to check his ass sooner or later. He must have forgotten how badly I used to tear that ass up when we were growing up. So what if he went to the Army and came home a little swollen? I could still take his ass because I could outthink him. Merlin was a sensitive guy, and he thought more with his heart rather than his mind. I, however, was a fighter through and through; I had no problem getting mine by any means necessary.

  Cojo had already thrown the bacon into the trash, so I couldn’t munch on it. I pulled open the meat drawer and saw that she still had a half a pack of bacon in there, so I proceeded to fix me some. After all, we were family.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Cojo asked. She had crept up behind me without my hearing her. She scared me so badly, I almost dropped the bacon I was holding.

  “Damn, girl, why you wanna creep up on a brother like that?”

  “You have no business in my damn kitchen.”

  “Hell, I didn’t think you would mind. I told you earlier I was hungry. Why don’t you bring your fine ass in here and cook me up something so I don’t get your kitchen all messed up.” I winked at her.

  “Merlin, you’d better come and get your brother before I have to hurt him.” She snatched the bacon from my hand and threw it into the trash.

  I wanted to hit her ass so badly, I was shaking. “Girl, you’d better stop playing with me. Shit, I ain’t your husband.”

  “You damn right you’re not.”

  “You’re kind of feisty. I like it, but don’t get ahead of yourself or you might not like the consequences.”

  “So what, is that a threat? Am I supposed to be scared of you or something?”

  “Naw, I don’t have to threaten you. I work on promises.”

  Before I could say anything further, Merlin came into the room carrying a small duffel bag, which he thrust toward me. “This should hold you for a few days.” He tossed me a set of car keys. “That’s my old Malibu in the lot. Take it. We’ll get the registration taken care of later. Now, I’ve done all that I’m going to do for you. I ain’t fucking with you, Gavin.”

  “Thanks, bro, good looking out.”

  We stood around the kitchen staring at one another until I decided it was time to make my exit. I was definitely going to have to come back so I could whisper in Cojo’s ear. Right now she was playing all hard to get and shit, but I was willing to bet I could get her to change her mind about sp
ending some time with me.

  I said, “Well, I hate to break up this party. I’m gonna bounce.”

  “All right,” Cojo replied.

  I waited for a few beats to see if Merlin wanted to get together later, but the invitation didn’t come. I turned and left the kitchen, working my way to the door with both of them hot on my heels. It was a very uncomfortable moment for all of us.

  Cojo stepped up from behind Merlin and opened the door. She was playing the victim role very well as I stepped through the doorway. Once I had cleared the path, the door slammed behind me. All I could hear from the apartment was the sound of the locks being engaged.

  “Damn, that was cold,” I muttered to myself. I stood there for a few seconds, pondering what I was going to do next. I didn’t want to go back to my mother’s, but I had very few options outside of that. It had been a long time since I’d been home, and even when I did live in Atlanta, I didn’t have many friends.

  I tossed the bag over my shoulder and made my way to my new car. As I pulled out of the apartment complex, I looked back just in time to see the window flicker shut. I felt a tinge of guilt about the whole situation, but I quickly forgot it as I made my way to McDonald’s to get something to eat. My plan was to fill up on a few of their Dollar Menu items and go back to my mother’s to crash.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  MERLIN MILLS

  Once Cojo and I were alone, I began to feel nervous. It was like a large elephant had stepped into the room and neither one of us wanted to acknowledge its presence. I paced around the living room trying to work up the nerve to speak to my wife. She had moved away from the window and was standing behind the sofa. She appeared as nervous as I was.

  I took a seat on the sofa and asked her to join me. I waited until she looked comfortable before I began. “I really don’t know where to begin.” It was a lame statement and I knew it, but I was afraid.