Baggage & Buttons

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Right let’s walk and talk, you first Lex.’

  ‘Nothing to tell, I watched some TV, had a curry and an early night and slept through until sickness this morning. So dish.’ I didn’t quite give her a blow by blow, more a précis of the evening. It took longer than expected, as she couldn’t stop laughing at the thought of Austin Senior seeing me in my Basque, suspenders and heels. She loved my bracelet. ‘God you’re so bloody lucky finding someone like that, you’d better hang onto him. I’d imagine amazing sex, as well as kind, romantic and considerate, don’t come in one package very often in your life.’

  ‘I intend to hang onto him Lexi, starting with this, which seems a seriously stupid idea now we’re here,’ I said, as I looked up at the sign over the door which read ‘Inked Up Tattoo’s’. We walked in and a guy came out with a beanie hat on, piercings poking out of his lips, spears in his ears and complete tattooed sleeves up his arms. He voice was really soft and kind, which was so not what I was expecting from his visual.

  ‘So you have something in mind?’

  ‘Yes, it’s a really small one.’ I sketched out what I wanted and handed it to him.

  ‘Well that’s not going to take long. Where are you wanting it?’

  ‘On the front of my left hip, low down.’

  ‘Ok give me a few to set up,’ he said as he disappeared into the back room.

  ‘Shit Lexi, I’m really nervous. I can’t believe I’m having a tattoo done when you don’t even have one. I’ve gone completely crazy this last couple of weeks.’

  ‘You have, but isn’t it fun?’ she grinned.

  ‘Why haven’t you got one? You’re always having outrageous haircuts and colours and your piercings are growing, why not a tatt?’

  ‘When I have one it’ll be something I’ve thought long and hard about, something that I can live with. All of this stuff is removable, re-growable or re-dyeable,’ she said, as she indicated her head and face with her hand.

  ‘That’s why I’m happy to do this. It’s small and can be filled in if it ever needs to be.’

  ‘So what is it? Why won’t you tell me?’

  ‘I’ll tell you when I can show you,’ I smiled.

  ‘Tease,’ she grumbled.

  ‘Ok Mia, tattoo table’s all set up, follow me through, I’m ready for you now.’

  ‘Good luck mate.’ Lexi gave me the thumbs up and I walked into the back room, where he’d laid out a portable bed which was covered in paper towel and cling film.

  ‘Nervous?’

  ‘A little,’ I smiled.

  ‘You’ll be fine, it’ll be over before you know it.’ He talked me through the process, applied a traced copy to my skin to check I was happy with the position and I watched as he pulled fresh needles out of a packet and put on some gloves, that was reassuring. ‘Ok I’m going to start the machine to get you used to the noise, then I’ll do a small line first and make sure you’re happy before I carry on. I promise we’ll be done in minutes.’

  The noise made me jerk, thank god he did that first, jumping while he was tattooing me definitely wouldn’t be a good move. I felt his fingers holding my hip steady and took a deep breath. I felt the needle touch my skin and waited for a searing pain and was surprised that it felt more like a light scratch.

  ‘Huh.’

  ‘Ok?’

  ‘Yes it’s better than I thought.’

  ‘Good I’ll get on then,’ he smiled. I was amazed, the noise was worse than the actual tattoo itself, there again I was having a tiny one done, maybe all that colouring in was the worst part. ‘Ok.’

  ‘Yes, I’m doing fine thank you.’

  ‘I meant ok, I’m done.’

  ‘Seriously?’ I bolted upright.

  ‘Yes,’ he laughed, as he wiped some alcohol rub over it and handed me a mirror to look.

  ‘O my god I love it, it’s so cute and the lines are so sharp, thanks so much.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Right I’m going to tape some cling film on it. Kept it on for 12 hours and then you can remove it. Wash it regularly with warm water and soap, pat dry, no rubbing and gently apply Bepanthen cream as often as possible.’

  ‘Bepanthen cream?’

  ‘Yes, it’s nappy rash cream. You can get it from any chemist. As often as you can.’

  I smiled and paid him and went out to see Lexi.

  ‘So?’

  ‘I love it, I think he’ll love it as well.’

  ‘He better, it’s fucking permanent Mia. So when can I see it?’

  ‘When we get home, I’m not peeling my trousers and knickers down here for you.’

  ‘You’re such a tease,’ she sighed.

  ‘You’re excited at the thought of me lowering my knickers?!’

  ‘No, I meant for not letting me see the tatt, I love you and all but so not turned on at the thought of you stripping for me.’

  ‘I feel slightly insulted now Lex.’ I bumped her shoulder and she grinned at me as we headed out. ‘So what’s our plan for tonight?’

  ‘You still want to go out?’ she asked, looking surprised.

  ‘Yes of course, it’s girls’ night. I’m not going to be one of those girls who dumps her best friend to spend every waking hour with her boyfriend.’

  ‘You’d better not.’

  ‘He does want to meet me later though if that’s ok?’

  ‘As long as we have some time out together I’m cool with that.’

  ‘You’re cool with everything Lex, cool should be your middle name. Right, according to my research on the area there’s a beauty therapist around here somewhere. I need to nip in and sort a wax appointment and I’d love a facial, it’s been too long. Can I book you in as well? On me for all the shit you’ve been through this week?’

  ‘Don’t be stupid, you don’t need to pay.’

  ‘I insist Lexi.’

  ‘Well if you insist I’m not going to argue with you.’ She flashed me a smile of gratitude. I knew how difficult it was for her financially, she wasn’t lucky enough to have parents supporting her through Uni, so I did what I could to help her out, including letting her live rent and bill free and paying for most of our take outs and nights out.

  ‘I need some nappy rash cream as well.’

  ‘What? Baby play? Seriously?’ she exclaimed, wrinkling her nose up in disgust. ‘I’d never have put Gabe down for that.’

  ‘O gross Lexi, no,’ I laughed, shoving her.

  ‘Then what do you need nappy cream for?’

  ‘This specific brand of cream is apparently very moisturising and has antiseptic properties for my tattoo.’

  ‘Thank god, I was getting a whole visual there that I really didn’t want.’

  ‘You and me both,’ I said with a shudder, praying that would never come up in one of Gabe’s fantasy role play lists. Maybe we needed to discuss what he did like, so I was clear exactly where the boundaries lay.

  As we walked we came across a small square and the beauty place was located in it, as well as a chemist, post office and a few other small shops. I got us both booked in at two on Tuesday afternoon and I went in search of my cream, as well as to pick up my new contraceptive pill prescription, while Lexi headed to the newsagents for a paper and some gum.

  ‘This neighbourhood has some excellent shops and stuff,’ she said as she came out to find me waiting for her.

  ‘Gabe says we hit lucky here, but you should see where he lives all leafy and private, it’s lovely.’

  ‘So what are your weekend plans with three times a night boy?’

  ‘We want to go to the zoo tomorrow, will you come with us?’

  ‘And be a third wheel? No way.’ She gave me a firm shake of the head.

  ‘Please Lexi, he asked for you to join us, so you won’t be in the way. He’s taking me out for a proper dinner date in the evening, just the two of us, so we won’t ignore you or leave you alone. Please for me, there may be cute giant pandas. O you could wear your panda onesie.’

  ‘Fuck off, I
love my onesie you sarcastic bitch,’ she grinned. ‘Well as long as you’re sure you don’t mind, it might be nice to get out and about for once. Where’s the zoo?’

  ‘No idea, Gabe was going to try find the nearest one with giant pandas for me.’

  ‘Well how are we going to get there? I hate dirty trains.’

  ‘Gabe has a car and he’s going to drive.’

  ‘He has a car? He kept that quiet. What is it?’

  ‘Lexi,’ I chastised, with a scowl.

  ‘What? You know me, I’m shallow, I like to know these things. Bet it’s not some old clapped out piece of crap is it?’

  ‘No, it’s an Audi TT RS Coupe, it’s pretty sexy, just like him. ’ I smiled remembering how good he looked in it this morning.

  ‘How the hell did he afford that at 19?’

  ‘An inheritance.’ I didn’t expand any further.

  ‘Cool, we better take some sick bags if we’re going early and he’s going to be boy racing,’ she said as she browsed the front of the paper as we walked.

  ‘He’s not reckless Lexi, I felt very safe in it with him.’

  ‘Jesus Mia, look at the headline. A girl’s been murdered and her body found on the edge of campus.’

  ‘Really? That’s awful. What else does it say?’ I tried to look at the headline as we walked.

  ‘Not a lot. Brunette aged 18, strangled and half naked body left in bushes. She was found on Wednesday night.’

  ‘O god, poor girl. I really hope she didn’t suffer too much. Her family must be devastated. Let’s hope it was a one off,’ I said as I opened our lower door. As soon as we were upstairs Lexi followed me into my bedroom.

  ‘Come on, let’s see the tatt.’

  ‘I’m supposed to keep it covered for the first twelve hours.’

  ‘Mia, you know I can’t handle suspense. Just let me have a peak, then you can cover it up. My mind’s boggling if you think I’ll be shocked. I mean it’s me, have you ever known me be shocked at anything?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘So show me,’ she begged. ‘I’m imagining that you’ve had a life sized version of his cock put on there and it’s freaking me out.’

  ‘Ok,’ I giggled. I explained what it was first and why I’d chosen it and burst out laughing when her mouth dropped open. ‘You just said you couldn’t be shocked Clarke, you all mouth and no trousers are you?’

  ‘Fucking hell, well at least it’s not what I thought, but what’s got into you lately?’ she exclaimed.

  ‘Taking a leaf out of your book Lexi and living it large. Come on, seven years of friendship with you and you never thought your craziness would rub off and I’d take the odd risk?’

  ‘Well there’s risk and risk, you know what I’m saying? This is risk with a capital R.’ She grinned at me, looking impressed now she’d got over the shock. ‘Come on stop stalling, whip down your knickers now you know what I’m really interested in.’ I laughed again and shuffled my trousers down and pulled my knickers and the cling film away from my body. ‘Wow, I never thought I’d see the day. I like it, looks a bit red, does it hurt?’

  ‘It is starting to sting a little bit, but not painful. Can I cover it up now?’

  ‘Sure, so when are you showing him?’

  ‘Tomorrow, when the cling film’s off.’

  ‘God even I’m excited to see how he reacts. Ok what time’s History?’

  ‘Two o’clock. As we have a couple of hours, would you mind if I go and have a sleep? I’m absolutely knackered and my back and stomach are really hurting again.’

  ‘Not surprised the amount of sex and lack of sleep you’re having lately. Go for it, I’m going to kick some xbox ass. I’ll wake you up, that alarm’s enough to give you a heart attack. What time shall I get you?’

  ‘Well the bus is at one eighteen, so quarter to?’

  ‘Ok.’

  ‘Thanks Lex, see you later.’ I grabbed an empty water bottle out of the kitchen recycling bin, filled it and took it to my bedroom and watered my big display of red roses, taking a moment to breathe them in, they still looked and smelled fabulous. I closed my roman blinds, stripped down to my pants and climbed into my bed and sent Gabe a quick text.

  Thanks again for a really lovely night Gabe and for my bracelet. I love it. Mia x

  I was in the middle of an amazing dream when I heard Lexi calling my name and gently shaking my shoulder.

  ‘Mia, come on. Time to get up.’

  I groaned and opened my eyes. ‘But I feel like I only just dropped off.’

  ‘It’s been nearly two hours.’

  ‘I was in the middle of a lovely dream, I want to go back to it,’ I grumbled.

  ‘Did it involve sex by any chance?’

  ‘Shit. Was I sleep talking again?’

  ‘Sleep shouting, I can never catch a bloody break. I’m going to have to live in my earphones.’

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘How are you feeling?’

  ‘Bit like you probably, my back’s killing me, my stomach aches and I feel a bit nauseous, nothing new. Come on then, I’d better get changed and sorted and wash down some pain killers.’

  As soon as I was ready I grabbed my phone and saw a text from Gabe, from a few hours earlier.

  I had a great night too and glad you loved your bracelet G xx

  Lexi and I are going to hit Princes street first, so let me know when you’re out tonight and I can let you know where to meet us. Operation fix up is a go from my end, what about yours? See you later x

  We’d just got on the bus when I felt my phone vibrate, it was a reply from Gabe. I looked at Lexi, but she was engrossed in another game on hers so I opened the message.

  Yes we’re on at this end too. I’ve just got home so I’m going to look into the nearest giant panda zoo for you. Worried about you going out with this murder on campus. How are you feeling today? x

  Great news about Doug. God I’ll be so excited if you find a zoo, I adore pandas. I’ll be fine, I’ll be with Lexi and we’ll stick to that street and the popular bars until we hook up x

  Don’t think I didn’t notice you avoided answering my question about how you’re feeling. We’ll discuss that later, along with you taking some self-defence classes. I’m looking forward to seeing you x

  You too Gabe x

  I sighed.

  ‘What’s up?’ said Lexi, without even looking up.

  ‘Gabe, he’s so overprotective. He’s cross that I’ve not answered his question of “How are you feeling?” and he wants me to take self-defence classes. He’s worried about the murder and letting us go out.’

  ‘So lie. Tell him we’re staying in until he’s ready to meet us, easy.’

  ‘Lexi. That’s not the answer, we promised not to lie to each other.’

  ‘Yeah right,’ she snorted. ‘Love to see how long that lasts.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Come on Mia,’ she laughed, putting down her phone. ‘Don’t be so naïve, no one has a relationship where they don’t lie to each other now and again.’

  ‘Well that’s no way to have a meaningful relationship with someone Lexi. I have no intention of ever lying to Gabe and he’d better not to me.’

  ‘Seriously?’ She gave me an unconvinced look.

  ‘Yes. I’m not saying I won’t avoid telling him something that I think he’s better off not knowing, but no way do I ever want to lie to him outright. How can you ever trust someone if they do that?’

  ‘Good luck with that one,’ she muttered, arching her brows.

  ‘Do you lie to me?’ I asked, fixing her with a firm questioning gaze.

  ‘None that I can think of no,’ she shrugged. ‘You’re my best friend, be a pretty shitty friendship if I had to lie to you, wouldn’t it?’

  ‘So why should a boyfriend be any different?’

  ‘Wow, you’ve sure changed your tune in the last two weeks. I never thought I’d hear you advocating relationship values.’

  ‘No me neither,
but even with Kai and all the others I never lied Lexi. I was upfront from the start that I didn’t want anything serious and that I didn’t want sex.’

  ‘Whatever, I lay bets that at some stage in your relationship you’ll lie to Gabe.’

  I scowled at her, we were going to have to agree to disagree on that one. I sent mum a quick text to let her know Lexi and I were ok, she’d panic if that murder was on the news.

  We settled into our History lecture. It was so much easier to concentrate without Gabe being in the same room with me, distracting me with his good looks, smiles and under the desk erections. I really needed to schedule in more studying if we were going to continue spending so much time together.

  Back home Lexi put on some tunes and I opened a bottle of wine and took two glasses into the lounge and offered her one.

  ‘What’s going on?’ she asked, looking at me puzzled.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Is this a test? You have a go at me for smoking on Wednesday, now you’re handing me wine?’

  ‘No, no test. You were right, it’s your body, it has nothing to do with me.’

  ‘Well no, but you’ve made me feel all bloody guilty,’ she grumbled.

  ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘I feel like I shouldn’t have a bloody drink. I’ve hardly had any fags today and feel like a complete shit when I do and I can’t even bear the thought of shagging anyone either. What’s wrong with me?’ she whined, as she looked up at me all sadly. I walked around the sofa and sat down next to her, putting both of our wines on the coffee table.

  ‘You’re pregnant Lex.’

  ‘Well I was fine doing it all last week.’

  ‘You didn’t know last week, finding out’s bound to change things. Are you having doubts about your decision now?’

  ‘No. I just feel … I feel … O I don’t know what I feel,’ she sighed as she put her head in her hands.

  ‘You care, even though you’ve made the decision not to have it, you care.’ I rubbed her back for her.

  ‘Well I shouldn’t care,’ she said dropping her hand and looking at me.

  ‘Well the fact that you do should tell you what I already know.’

  ‘What?’