Baggage & Buttons

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘That when you’re ready Lexi Clarke, you’ll be a wonderful and caring mother,’ I smiled.

  ‘You’re getting all soppy again. You’re not getting broody this soon are you?’

  ‘No,’ I said forcefully. ‘Christ believe me it’s the absolute last thing on my mind. You know me, I’ve never been maternal or broody.’

  ‘Does he want kids?’

  ‘I’ve no idea Lex. I think it’s way too early for that talk. I mean he doesn’t even know when my birthday is.’ I suddenly gasped and threw myself back on the sofa and pinched the top of my nose. ‘O shit, my birthday.’

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s Christmas eve,’ I groaned as I quickly sat up, grabbed my wine glass and started glugging.

  ‘You’re just remembering your birthday’s on Christmas eve? I would think that day and Christmas day are the last two days anyone would forget are their birthdays. I would’ve been so pissed at my parents. Why do people shag 9 months earlier? They really need to be a bit more considerate. There should be a worldwide ban on sex in March for people who celebrate Christmas.’

  ‘How am I going to tell him?’

  ‘What the hell’s going on? I’m lost.’

  ‘Lexi, his mum died on Christmas eve, so it’s not like I can say “hey let’s go out and party” is it?’ I looked at her in despair. How was I going to handle this with him?

  ‘O shit, poor guy. Like it’s not bad enough anyway, but at that time of year?’

  ‘You can’t tell him,’ I said, giving her a look.

  ‘What?’ she said, with a stunned look back at me.

  ‘You can never tell him,’ I said, firmly shaking my head.

  ‘So what? You’re just going to hide all the cards and presents and then what? Bring them out on another day? You’re going to lie each and every year and rope the rest of your friends and family into it? After just giving me the big “I’m never going to lie to Gabe” speech?’

  ‘Then what the hell am I supposed to do?’ I snapped, frustrated.

  ‘You’re going to have to tell him and maybe get used to the fact that you may never be able to celebrate it with him.’

  ‘O Lexi this is so fucked up,’ I sighed.

  ‘Well you’ve got another 3 months before you have to tell him. I imagine he’d feel pretty shit if he didn’t know. So however he takes it, you’re going to have to tell him and it’s his choice how he handles it.’

  ‘Christ are relationships always this complicated?’

  ‘How the hell would I know? I’m Lexi “two dates is my record” Clarke.’

  ‘I need more wine.’

  ‘Drink mine, it’s going to bloody waste anyway.’

  I was already feeling tipsy as I got changed to go out, wine was quickly dulling my confusion over how to handle my birthday with him. I decided to wear a pair of very short and close fitting black utility shorts with thick black wool tights, a nude low cut long sleeved blouse and my high heeled nude ankle strap shoes. I tipped my hair upside down, back combed and sprayed it to make it a bit wilder, before pulling it into a full pony tail. I layered on some black and grey eye shadow and put on some eyeliner, mascara and my usual Vaseline and a bit of silver jewellery, deciding against any other bracelet, I liked Gabe’s on its own. I knocked back another glass of wine and went in search of Lexi, who was still getting ready in her room.

  ‘Hey Lex.’

  ‘Hey, wow you look good. Those nude tones suit your skin tone,’ she smiled.

  ‘They do don’t they?’ I smiled and stumbled into the wall.

  ‘Holy shit are you pissed already?’ she laughed.

  ‘No,’ I shook my head. ‘Just a bit merry.’

  ‘How many glasses have you had?’

  ‘How many glasses are in the bottle?’ I giggled.

  ‘Typical. You decide to go on a bender when I’m sober.’

  ‘Hurry up or I’ll have to open another bottle. Lexi we’re both in tiny shorts,’ I gasped, as she stood up wearing her denim shorts with a black polo neck.

  ‘O Jesus, I’m going to have to watch you like a hawk tonight. You’re pissed already.’

  ‘Not so,’ I pouted.

  ‘Yes so, I think I’ll be bringing the sick bowl to you tomorrow. So do I look ok?’

  ‘You look fab.u.lous darling,’ I announced, with a flourish of my hand.

  ‘Come on then Craig Revel Horwood, let’s go. I’ve a feeling I’m going to regret this.’

  We got a cab to Princes street and started in a cocktail bar where I had three Velvet Elvis cocktails, before moving on to the next bar along, then another and another. I was starting to really wobble and was having to focus my eyes and concentrate on just standing up straight. We were being hit on left right and centre and Lexi got to the point of just saying ‘Fuck off’ before they’d even got within 3 feet of us.

  ‘What’s with all these guys? Are they on heat or what?’ she exclaimed.

  ‘We’re two sexy girls out having fun, of course they’re on heat. O shit. Speaking of on heat, what time is it?’

  ‘A little after eleven.’

  ‘O shit, shit. I thought it was earlier. I haven’t checked my phone or rung Gabe.’ I started rummaging in my bag for it and panicked. ‘Lex, Lex I can’t find my sodding phone. LEX.’

  ‘You’re already holding it you pissed moron,’ she tutted, snatching it off me and smacking me on the head with it. ‘O look two text messages and five voicemails from him. Anyone would think he missed you. Do you need me to read them for you?’

  ‘Noooo. I don’t want to read or listen, he’s going to be so mad. I’ll ring him, he loves my voice on the phone. I’ll woo him around.’ I found his name and pressed call and he answered immediately.

  ‘Where the bloody hell are you?’ he snapped. ‘I’ve been trying to contact you for the last two hours.’

  ‘Hey there sexy boy, I’ve missed you so much today.’

  ‘And I’ve missed you. Now where are you?’ he barked. He sounded very cross.

  ‘What are you wearing? I’ve got a very very tight and extremely short pair of shorts on. They hug my bottom really tightly, I think you’ll really want me in them.’

  ‘Mia stop trying to seduce me over the phone and tell me where the bloody hell you are please.’

  ‘I’ve been thinking about our pool table session and I’m thinking we ought to try it in the actual pool,’ I whispered.

  ‘Are you drunk?’ I heard him sigh heavily down the phone.

  ‘Just a little bit, don’t be cross with me Gabe, I’m having fun with Lexi.’

  ‘Tell me where you are Mia?’

  ‘I don’t know, some bar. There are loads of men trying to chat me up, but I told them I’m taken. I’ve got a very lovely boyfriend thank you.’

  ‘Thanks for that Mia. Is Lexi with you?’

  ‘Yes she’s right here. She’s very tall you know, she’s six foot. In flats,’ I exclaimed nodding my head as I looked up at her.

  ‘Put her on please Mia.’ He sounded very forceful.

  ‘Ooooo you sound so sexy when you’re cross and bossy. Have I told you how hot you are? You’re so sexy and hot baby.’

  ‘Mia, please put Lexi on the phone. Now.’

  ‘Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘I’ve missed you so much today. Where are you? I want you.’

  ‘I want you too baby,’ he sighed in response, ‘which is why you need to put Lexi on the phone now. I won’t ask again Mia.’

  ‘Why what are you going to do? Are you going to punish me and spank me again? I really liked that,’ I giggled.

  ‘Mia, Lexi, NOW,’ he barked. I gasped and put my hand over the speaker and looked at Lexi open mouthed.

  ‘He’s very cross with me Lex and he wants to talk to you. Put it on the speaker phone thingy, I want to hear, he’s so sexy when he’s mad.’

  ‘Spanking? Really?’ she said as she took the phone off me shaking her head and pressed the speaker phone button. ‘Gabe it’s Lexi.’
<
br />   ‘Is she pissed?’ he snapped.

  ‘Wasted.’

  ‘So am not,’ I shouted.

  ‘Where are you both? I’m coming straight there.’

  ‘Tom’s bar, you know it?’

  ‘Yes, I’m a couple of streets away. I’ll be there in 5 minutes. Lexi please keep her in line of sight at all times and no more drinks ok?’

  ‘Ok, bye,’ she ended the call and handed the phone back to me. ‘You heard that? He’s on his way and no more drinks.’

  ‘O but Lex, I’m having so much fun. He’s such a pooper. Quick I’m getting another before he gets here.’

  ‘Mia he said no.’

  ‘And what? You’re going to listen to him over your best friend?’

  ‘Great, you pull the best friend card out. You’re going to get me into so much trouble.’

  ‘My round Lex, what are you having?’

  ‘Another bloody coke, it’s so not fun being the sober one and I’ll get it for you. You’re so pissed you’re going to hand over a twenty and get change for a ten.’ She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the bar. ‘A vodka cranberry and a small coke please.’

  I shrieked as “Get Lucky” came on. ‘O god Lexi I LOVE THIS SONG, I’m going to dance.’

  ‘No you’re not missy, he told me to keep an eye on you and I can’t take our order and go to the dance floor at the same time. Which is it?’ she asked. I looked down wondering why I couldn’t move and saw she was gripping my arm.

  ‘Lexi Clarke, you let go of me this instant.’ I stamped my foot and gave her a scowl, but she didn’t flinch.

  ‘Dancing or Vodka.’

  ‘You’re mean. You’re all strict and mean like Gabe. Fine, vodka then dancing.’

  ‘Ok then here’s your vodka, we can try and find a seat and … bloody hell Mia.’

  ‘What?’ I asked, smacking my lips.

  ‘You just knocked that back without taking a breath.’

  ‘It’s nice, let’s dance.’ I pulled her with me and slowly made my way through the crowds to the small dance floor, feeling unsteady on my feet as I tried to walk. I found a small space on the floor and held my arms up in the air as I started to sway to the music and grind my hips as I went down. I loved dancing. A good looking dark haired guy came up and smiled at me, so I smiled back and he grabbed my hips and moved with me as I laughed, before Lexi got in between us and told him to jog on before turning back to me.

  ‘Come on, you’re dancing way too sexy for a girl with a boyfriend, you’re going to get yourself in trouble.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to do anything, I just like dancing. I like Gabe too.’

  ‘And he loves you. What would he do if he saw you dancing like that with another guy?’

  ‘Gabe’s …’ I squinted my eyes to focus on the edge of the dance floor.

  ‘Gabe’s what?’

  ‘Here,’ I sighed happily. I saw him standing, frowning as he looked around. He looked so gorgeous in his black jeans and a pink shirt, god I wanted him so much. I just stood swaying, staring at him and he suddenly turned and looked straight at me, his stunning blue eyes piercing mine. A smile played across his face, then vanished just as quickly and turned into a frown, shit he really was mad with me. I squeezed my way past the other dancers and ran to him and jumped up onto his hips, wrapping my legs around his waist and flinging my arms around his neck.

  ‘God I’ve missed you Gabe Austin, you’re looking very very very sexy, but you also look very cross. Let me kiss you happy again.’ I kissed him passionately and forced my tongue in his mouth and moaned. He resisted for a while, then responded, one arm tightening around my waist, the other up my back clasping the nape of my neck. I kept on kissing him and felt him harden beneath me before he pulled his head back and sighed.

  ‘Mia.’

  ‘Gabe, don’t stop kissing me,’ I begged, as I tried to reach his lips again. ‘You kiss so good.’

  ‘I’m so bloody cross with you.’

  ‘I know, I was having fun with Lexi, I didn’t know what time it was. I’m so sorry sexy boy, don’t be mad with me.’

  ‘You’re so drunk Mia. What if something had happened to you? There’s been a murder, a girl your age, a brunette,’ he scolded and I could see the concern etched on his face.

  ‘But nothing happened to me, I’m fine. Lexi was here with me all the time, besides you’re here now, my big strong protector. Kiss me, please kiss me, I want you.’ I planted another kiss on his lips.

  ‘Mia,’ he groaned as he pulled his head back again.

  ‘Don’t try telling me you don’t want me, I can feel your massive erection.’

  ‘Mia, please, sssshhhh.’

  ‘Make me sssshhhh big boy.’ I managed to pull his face back towards me and kissed him hard and bit his lip as he tried to resist and pull me off him.

  ‘Ok I’m taking you home right now,’ he muttered, as he unwrapped my legs from around his waist and plonked my feet on the floor. I remained clinging to his neck.

  ‘I love it when you get all masterful, are you going to cuff me and spank me and fuck me really hard?

  ‘No,’ he said firmly, as his eyes narrowed while he fixed me with a scowl.

  ‘Gabe, what’s wrong? Don’t find me sexy anymore?’ I asked with a pout.

  ‘I always find you sexy baby,’ he sighed as he looked down at me.

  ‘So what’s the problem?’

  ‘You’re too drunk,’ he whispered in my ear.

  ‘I don’t care,’ I whispered back.

  ‘Well I do Mia. I’d like you to actually be there with me when we do it, not be so drunk I could be anyone.’

  ‘But you’re not anyone, you’re my boyfriend. My very sexy, very gorgeous and very kind boyfriend.’

  ‘Well thank you baby, but it’s still a no.’

  ‘Don’t you like my shorts? Let me do a twirl for you so you can see how tight they are on my bottom. You love my bottom and you won’t be able to resist once you’ve seen it.’ I let go of him and went to turn around and he pulled me back and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  ‘Mia please stop, I’m not fucking you when I’m sober and you’re drunk.’

  ‘So get drunk with me and then we can duck frunk.’

  ‘Duck frunk?’ he laughed from his stomach, his whole body shaking and I looked up at him wide eyed. I’d never heard him laugh like that before. ‘I think you meant fuck drunk, see you are pissed. Besides I try not to get drunk anymore.’

  ‘Why not? What’s wrong with you?’

  ‘Nothing’s wrong with me,’ he bristled. ‘I just don’t like to drink heavily anymore, it tends to make me aggressive in the wrong company and I want to avoid that. Plus I like to keep in shape.’

  ‘You’re in excellent shape Gabe Austin, you have a seriously amazing body. A hot and incredibly sexy body that I’d like to touch and kiss all over, right now please.’ I moved closer to him and grasped him firmly through his jeans. ‘Your cock’s big and hard and it’s ready to go, just like me.’

  ‘Christ you’re killing me here,’ he moaned and finally slipped his tongue into my mouth. I pressed up against him and put both of my hands behind his back and squeezed his bottom tightly. He suddenly he stopped kissing me and I went all light headed as hoisted me up over his shoulder.

  ‘Gabe Austin what are you doing?’ I shrieked, kicking my legs.

  ‘I’m taking you home right now Mia,’ he stated, as he turned towards the exit.

  ‘To fuck me?’

  ‘No, to ply you with water and put you to bed, you’ve had way too much to drink.’

  ‘Gabe please.’

  ‘I told you no Mia. No matter how sexy you are, how bloody amazing your bottom looks in those seriously tight shorts and no matter how much you beg me, we’re not fucking.’

  ‘You’re so mean. Put me down right now.’ I tried to struggle, but he held me even tighter as he tried to make his way across the floor, even upside down I could see people staring and laughing.
r />   ‘No Mia, stop wriggling I’m not letting you go.’

  ‘Gabe Austin, PUT. ME. DOWN. NOW,’ I yelled.

  ‘Then behave! Stop aggravating my hard on or I’ll bend you over my knee and spank that bottom of yours,’ he growled, setting me down and grabbing hold of my hand as I wobbled.

  ‘Ooooo that sounds so good. What do I have to do to make you cross enough to do that to me Sir?’

  ‘Fucking hell, god knows what trouble you would’ve gotten into if I hadn’t showed up. I’m taking you home,’ he sighed exasperated, running a hand through his hair and pulled me towards the door.

  ‘I’m not going without Lexi,’ I protested, digging my heels into the ground.

  ‘Then we’ll find her and we’ll all go home together.’

  ‘She’s over there dancing. Lex ... Lexi … LEXI OVER HERE. See she’s heard me, she’s coming over.’

  ‘Everyone’s heard you Mia. Lexi, how the hell has she got so drunk?’ he snapped.

  ‘Ermmm a bottle of wine and about eight vodkas.’

  ‘Lexi, you didn’t have to tell him,’ I chastised.

  ‘Jesus christ, it that normal for her?’

  ‘Yes, but she doesn’t normally get drunk this quickly.’

  ‘What did she have to eat before you came out?’

  I swayed and grabbed his arm and gave Lexi the don’t you dare tell him look. She ignored me.

  ‘She didn’t, we didn’t have anything.’

  ‘Did she have any lunch?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Lexi,’ yelled Gabe and I at the same time.

  ‘She’s a grown bloody woman Gabe, I’m not her baby sitter.’

  ‘Well I want to take her home and I’m not happy leaving you on your own, not until they catch the person who killed this girl.’

  ‘Well it’s too boring being out sober anyway, let’s go.’

  ‘Come on baby, we’re going, can you walk?’ Gabe asked looking at me. I was still holding his hand and leaning on his shoulder. I really felt very woozy.

  ‘Of course I can, I have two legs, I can walk. I’m totally fine.’

  Gabe led the way through the crowds and I clung onto his hand and bounced off a few people along the way, he looked back at me and shook his head. When we finally made it outside, the cold air hit me like a wall and I staggered backwards.