Baggage & Buttons

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘We’re good?’ he whispered.

  ‘Hmmm,’ I whimpered as he straightened up and I tried to get the stars out of my eyes. God he was the best kisser ever.

  ‘Come on then,’ he gripped my hand and we started walking around the edge of the lake again, in contemplative silence. We stopped to admire some deer that were on the far side, heads bowed taking in some water, they were so slender and graceful. Gabe stood behind me with his arms around my waist and I leaned back into him.

  ‘O my god, you’ve got another erection. Are you on bloody Viagra or something?’

  ‘Christ I hope the day never comes when I need to take pills to get a hard on.’

  ‘Speaking of pills, I started it yesterday.’

  ‘I need to go and get tested then.’

  ‘I trust you Gabe.’ I swivelled in his arms and looked up at him.

  ‘Thanks,’ he smiled. ‘I know I’ve tried to be safe baby, but I’ve been with a lot of girls and condoms can always tear. I need to be sure I’m not putting you at any more risk than I already have.’

  ‘How could you’ve put me at risk?’ I tried to focus on anything but his “I’ve been with a lot of girls” comment, I never needed a reminder of that.

  ‘Mia you’ve given me unprotected oral sex, I shouldn’t have let that happen. We’ll get you to the doctors on Tuesday for a referral and then we’ll go to the clinic.’

  ‘Wow you really do need to work on your romance repertoire. The GUM clinic? I’ve always dreamed of a date there,’ I giggled.

  ‘Sorry baby, but I’m a work in progress when it comes to romance. You don’t need to come, but I’d feel a lot better if you had a throat swab at the same time.’

  ‘I’m coming with you,’ I sighed.

  ‘O god, I can’t wait until you’re coming with me again,’ he groaned.

  ‘You’ve sex on the brain don’t you?’

  ‘Since I met you I do. I’d like nothing better than to spend a whole day inside you Mia, we need to fix up some alone time and soon.’

  ‘O god, that sounds sooo good,’ I groaned, my heart speeding up at the thought of it.

  ‘Come on we need to make our way back.’

  We followed a different pathway back to the car and were the first to arrive. He pinned me to the side of the car and kissed me. My hands reached round to his perfectly formed muscular bottom and gripped it. He moaned and his erection pressed deeper into my stomach. I reached a hand up to caress the back of his neck and run a finger along his hair line and he suddenly pulled back from me.

  ‘God stop, I’m too aroused,’ he groaned, closing his eyes.

  ‘I’m going to take care of you later, I promise.’

  ‘I told you no, I’m not going to hurt you,’ he sighed as he looked down at me.

  ‘No penetration required for me to take care of you Gabe.’

  ‘You already took care of me like that this morning.’

  ‘I get the impression that just once a day isn’t enough for you Gabe Austin and I can’t have you going to look elsewhere for it can I?’

  ‘Never baby,’ he said with a firm shake of his hand. ‘It’s you, my hand or nothing.’

  ‘Again with the romance,’ I smiled. ‘O here they both come, don’t turn around and make it obvious we’re looking.’

  ‘Both still alive?’

  ‘Yes, but something’s wrong.’ I frowned.

  ‘O god what?’ he asked, his eyes widening as he looked down at me.

  ‘Lexi … Lexi’s laughing and looks happy.’ I slapped Gabe’s arm as he started laughing as well. ‘It’s not funny, she only ever laughs with me.’

  ‘You wanted to fix her up Mia.’

  ‘Hey guys,’ shouted Doug as they drew near. ‘You missed an amazing view up the top, even with the grey skies you could see for miles.’

  ‘Mia it was awesome, we could see the lakes and deer and hardly anyone was up there, it was so peaceful.’ Lexi was all smiles and it was really freaking me out.

  ‘Glad you had a good time. Lex why don’t you sit in the front? You’ll have more leg room,’ I suggested.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’m cool in the back.’

  I stood with my mouth open as she climbed in. Doug grinned at me as he hopped in the back with her and Gabe chuckled at the look on my face.

  ‘Come on baby let’s go, I’m starving.’

  Twenty minutes later we arrived in front of a quaint black and white timbered and thatched property called The Old Bell, which sat on a village green. We walked in and the three of them had to duck under the door frame. I sighed as I realised how stupid I must look with the three of them all six foot and over. I’d been last in the queue when they were dishing out tall genes to babies. I decided I needed to wear heels more often now I was seeing Gabe. I looked in amazement at the long bar in front of us, stacked with every bottle imaginable and at the very far ends of the pub, behind the dining tables, were two roaring open fires with old worn leather settees either side. It was a really nice looking gourmet pub, with a really cosy feel about it. Doug ordered a beer, Lexi a coke, Gabe water and I asked for a large glass of Zinfandel.

  We were shown to our table and spent over two hours sitting drinking, eating and laughing and the pub was nearly empty by the time we got to the seriously comfy settees. Lexi and Doug sat on the one, while Gabe and I sat opposite and he put his arm around my shoulder and rubbed his thumb up and down my arm. I’d just drained my second large glass of wine when Lexi offered to buy a round. Before I’d a chance to ask for another, Gabe asked for two glasses of water for us and Doug went with her to the bar. I turned to face Gabe annoyed.

  ‘Seriously? You order without even asking me what I want?’

  ‘Sorry, I thought you didn’t want another and could do with a water,’ he said with a shrug.

  ‘No, you decided I wasn’t having another and that I needed a water,’ I snapped.

  ‘You’ve a full day of lectures tomorrow. I assumed you didn’t want a hangover again, like yesterday.’

  ‘I don’t see you stopping Doug from knocking back the beers.’

  ‘I’m not dating Doug. What he does isn’t anything to do with me,’ he said unapologetically, giving me a steely look. I gasped, stunned.

  ‘So dating me precludes me from drinking? Just admit it Gabe, you’ve got a real problem with me and alcohol.’

  ‘Ok fine! I’ve seen too many drunk girls flirting with Doug and I on nights out. I’m not ok thinking about you being like that,’ he responded with a glare.

  ‘Why would I need to flirt with anyone else Gabe? You don’t trust me?’

  ‘I don’t trust other guys.’

  ‘Well I’m not on a night out, we’re eating lunch, together. You’re saying I can’t even have a few drinks when I’m out with you?’

  ‘I thought you’d had enough for one weekend Mia. I’m not going to argue about this anymore,’ he said firmly.

  ‘Well neither am I. You’re getting all domineering again, which after our conversations this morning is totally unacceptable. I’m going to the bar to have a proper drink, knock yourself out with a double bloody water when it comes.’ I got up and he gripped my wrist and pulled me back down next to him again. ‘Gabe let me go right now, I mean it,’ I scowled, furious with him.

  ‘Don’t do this,’ he sighed, looking at me frustrated as he ran his free hand through his hair.

  ‘You may be my boyfriend, but you’re not the boss of me Gabe Austin. I make my own decisions about my own life and the day that stops happening is the day hell freezes over, so you’d better start getting used to it you … you … bossy … whatever.’ I shook off his hand and got up and marched to the bar, annoyed I couldn’t think of a word to let him know how much he’d just pissed me off. ‘Lexi I’m having a vodka and cranberry.’

  ‘I thought you were having water? Gabe said …’

  ‘Gabe said what Lexi?’ I snapped as I gave her a look, making it clear whose side she needed to come down on.
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  ‘Gabe said nothing, vodka and cranberry coming up.’

  ‘I’ll give you two a minute,’ said Doug as he beat a hasty retreat with his beer and the two waters.

  ‘Ok what’s going on?’ she sighed.

  ‘He’s trying to control me and I don’t like it.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘Dictating when I can and can’t drink,’ I said as I flashed a glare in his direction to see he was watching me, but he quickly looked away.

  ‘Wow, you’re really mad, you have serious scowl face on and you only save that for when you’re really pissed off. Talk to me.’

  ‘I’ve had enough of talking for one day thanks. I feel all bloody talked out. All I’ve done today is bloody talk, I’m like an emotional talking avalanche today I can’t seem to bloody stop. You talk. You were laughing earlier with Doug, what’s that all about?’ I hopped up onto a bar stool next to her.

  ‘O mate, are you feeling jealous?’ she laughed.

  ‘You never laugh with anyone but me,’ I replied with a pout.

  ‘Dude’s funny, what can I say?’ she shrugged.

  ‘So you’re getting on ok?’

  ‘Yeah, he’s kinda cool you know,’ she nodded, with a faint blush.

  ‘Lexi you’ve got such a crush,’ I laughed.

  ‘Do not.’

  ‘Do so,’ I teased.

  ‘He says Gabe talks about you all the time.’

  ‘Don’t try that tack with me I’m still mad with him.’ I knocked back my drink and asked for another.

  ‘O shit, are we going to be walking home? I’m bloody pregnant you know, I should be taking it easy.’

  ‘That’s low pulling the pregnancy card Lexi.’

  ‘Mia, he’s so under your spell let it go.’

  ‘I need to be myself Lex, if I can’t be myself then what are we doing together?’ I asked frustrated.

  ‘You just told him you love him. Are you having doubts?’

  ‘Not about my feelings for him no, and I know he loves me, right now anyway. He’s a walking bloody erection though, what if he’s blinded just by lust? What if that’s all this is for him? What if it wears off and he changes his mind? I’ve gone and put my heart out there and he’s just going to trash it and move onto the next girl.’

  ‘Mia it’s not just lust, you can see the way he looks at you, he’s seriously in love with you.’

  ‘We’ll see,’ I sighed rubbing my forehead. It had been a seriously emotional few days and I felt on edge. I was beyond tired and my insides were throbbing and not in the good sexual way. ‘It’s just he’s so bloody controlling Lexi. Is it so wrong to want to just have a bit of fun?’

  ‘No, but there again look where fun got me. Listen you just have to be honest with him and tell him to back off a bit. You’re probably just having a freak out.’

  ‘A freak out?’ I asked as I sipped my drink.

  ‘Yes. Two weeks ago you were a single virgin, who didn’t believe she’d ever fall in love, let alone have a guy love her back this intensely. You’re moving really fast, it’s enough to freak anyone out. Maybe you need a time out, take a few nights off from each other to give you space to clear your head, let it catch up with your feelings. I mean I knew you were in love with him before you even admitted it to yourself. This is huge for you. Come on they keep looking over here, let’s go back.’

  ‘Thanks Lex, but I need a few minutes.’

  ‘Ok, well I’m over there if you need me.’

  I gave her a grateful smile and she walked back to join them as I sipped my drink at the bar. Maybe Lexi was right, maybe we did need some time apart, to slow down a bit and given I was on and we couldn’t have sex, now would be the perfect time to do it. I felt a hand on my lower back and turned to see Doug.

  ‘Hey,’ he smiled.

  ‘Hey Doug. So have you had a good day?’

  ‘Great, Lexi’s really cool. I’m planning on wooing her with my charms to get her to change her mind and go out with me.’

  ‘Well I think you’re doing just fine Doug. I don’t see her laugh often and she blushed when I teased her about you, that never happens.’

  ‘Thanks, that’s really encouraging. So how about you? You doing ok over here?’

  ‘Doug I’m doing just great, I’m in the forbidden alcohol zone,’ I said waving my drink at him. ‘Would you like to cross over to the dark side and join me?’

  ‘Sure, I could manage another beer,’ he nodded as he sat on the stool next to me. ‘How about you do you want another?’ I raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Don’t look so surprised Mia, I don’t do what he tells me either, he’s a real bossy sod sometimes.’ Doug ordered a beer and another vodka cranberry for me. Yes, a bossy sod, that was a pretty accurate description of Gabe sometimes. A bloody hot bossy sod though, damn him.

  ‘Is he always this controlling Doug?’

  ‘Take it as a compliment Mia, I’ve never seen him this bothered by a girl before.’

  ‘You make it sound like I drive him crazy.’

  ‘You do,’ he laughed. ‘In a good way I think, he’s really softened up since he first saw you, let go of a bit of that bravado, that tough “I don’t give a fuck about anything” armour he’s been wearing for years. He even told me about what happened with his mum. 13 bloody years of friendship and not a word, two weeks after meeting you and he’s opening up and spilling his feelings.’ Doug shook his head, bewildered.

  ‘He told you too?’ I asked, feeling pleased that Gabe had opened up to his best friend as well.

  ‘Yeah, really took me by surprise, I’d no idea that it happened like that, or that he’s been carrying all that guilt around. I can’t believe he blames himself, it was an accident. Looking back it sort of explains a lot though, especially his indifference with women, until he met you and did a complete bloody u turn. I pissed him off though by pushing too hard, trying to make him open up and tell me more.’

  ‘Yes me too,’ I sighed. I looked back around at him, but he seemed in deep conversation with Lexi. ‘He’s bottling up loads Doug and I worry about him.’

  ‘Me too, but Mia seriously, it’s obviously a massive step for him to have said what he has and to do it with someone he’s only just met, before he even tells his best friend, well that tells me just how much he loves you. Like him telling me every bloody five minutes hasn’t already made me see it,’ he grinned.

  ‘Thanks Doug that means a lot. Fingers crossed he opens up to us both even more as I think he really needs to offload. So you really think he’s crazy about me?’ I asked blushing.

  ‘Hell yeah. He’s not actually “dated” many girls and when he has, he’s always been pretty distant with them. It was all about him and his needs. He tried having a normal relationship with Julie, but I think he was just trying to be what was expected of a boyfriend and I think it was because he was desperately lonely, but he wasn’t happy with her, everyone could see it. He’s totally different with you. Crazy different.’

  ‘Is that a good thing?’

  ‘I think so. You may make him crazy sometimes Mia, but you also make him seriously happy and he deserves some of that, even more now I know what he’s been through all these years. Come on, I’m going to get shit for buying you a drink as it is. I don’t need him thinking I’m hitting on you as well. You may not have noticed but he’s quite possessive and protective when it comes to you Mia.’

  ‘Yeah I may have picked up on that,’ I laughed. ‘Thanks Doug, you’re a really good friend to him.’

  ‘He’s earned it Mia. I’ve been in a few scrapes and he’s always been there to bail me out. He’d go to the ends of the earth to protect you, you could do worse than to have him watching your back you know.’

  ‘I know, just does he have to do it so closely? I came here to have a good time, get drunk and dance on tables ’til sunrise, do things that normal teenagers do.’

  ‘So tell him that. He may not like it, but he won’t risk losing you over something so minor Mia. Just be gentle
with him, he really wants to make this work with you and I think you have the capacity to hurt him far more than anyone ever could.’

  I gave Doug a smile, he had that totally the wrong way around, it was Gabe who had the capacity hurt me, terribly.

  We made our way back to the sofas and Doug deliberately sat next to Lexi giving me no choice but to sit next to Gabe, who was leaning back, his arms outstretched across the top of the back rest. I was still cross with him and avoided eye contact, but inhaled sharply when I felt his right arm move to touch the back of my shoulders and his hand caressed the side of my arm. I felt my body responding, how did he do this to me? Make me want to forgive and forget everything with just a simple touch? He nosed his way through my hair and whispered ‘I’m sorry’ in my ear. God his voice was like a full body massage, I just wanted to moan in pleasure. I took a deep breath and fought the urge to respond, gripping my glass tightly, so he couldn’t hold one of my hands. He reached across and yanked the drink away, plonked it on the table and grabbed my hand anyway.

  ‘Excuse us a minute guys,’ he said, as he pulled me swiftly to my feet. ‘Come with me,’ he ordered.

  ‘Do I have a choice?’ I asked, my eyes down, looking anywhere but at his gorgeous face.

  ‘Not unless you want me to throw you over my shoulder again.’

  I sighed and shook my head and he tugged on my hand and led me out of a door near the toilets into the rear beer garden which was deserted, it was too nippy for anyone to drink outdoors. He pinned me back to the pub wall, his hands either side of my shoulders.

  ‘Look at me Mia.’

  ‘No Gabe. I’m still mad with you.’

  ‘Mia, look at me,’ he ordered.

  ‘No, you pull some Jedi Master mind control thing when I look in your eyes and I need to stay mad to say what I need to say.’

  ‘Then say it.’

  ‘You need to back off a bit Gabe. I was locked away in a boarding school for the better part of seven years and I need to live a little. I came here with all these ideas of crazy parties and fun and then … then …’ It was so distracting having him so close to me, he smelled deliciously of body wash and fresh laundry and Gabe.