Mine : You Can't Help Who You Fall In Love With... (The Winterburg Series Book 1)

by Linzvonc

  Rosie selected her size eagerly, and I walked with her to the changing rooms to try it on.

  “Oh, my God, it is so tight, Gretch,” I heard her wailing as she wriggled around. “Almost got it!”

  She pulled back the curtain a few minutes later, and I gasped at her.

  “Shit, Rosie…”

  “How is it possible that this is the dress?! The first one I have tried on?!” She twirled around and I clapped my hands happily.

  “You look amazing, I bet your secret date will feel like the luckiest man in the world!”

  She laughed as she fixed a diamond choker around her slender throat. She was beaming; she knew how good she looked.

  “I’m sure he will. Stop fishing, it’s tradition in my family that we never share our date’s name until the actual prom. Even to my bestie.”

  She gave me a puppy dog smile that made me laugh, and I let it go.

  I felt a pang of regret that I wouldn’t be doing this tonight, but I know there is no way I could—not without Cal.

  Rosie scurried off to get changed and as I came out, Sienna passed me in a flurry of green.

  I sat in the plush red armchair reserved for people giving their verdicts on the dresses, pulling my phone out to see an empty screen. I slid my phone away and smiled as Sienna came out in the first of what would be many dresses.

  A few hours later we were sat in Guilty Pleasures, finishing our delicious ice cream, a comfortable silence between us. We’d gossiped about who was going with whom to prom, the latest scandal being that Luke was taking Krystal. It didn’t matter to me at all; being with Luke felt like a lifetime ago.

  As the girls hugged me goodbye before they headed off for their hair and makeup appointments, I gulped down tears.

  “Ah, group hug!” cried Sienna.

  “I feel like such a shitty friend,” sobbed Rosie as she pulled away. “How can you not be coming to prom…?”

  I wiped her eyes and squeezed her hands. “This is my decision, okay? Don’t you dare let this ruin your night. You’ll make memories that you will remember forever! But will you do me a favour? Can you please text me the name of your date?!” I swallowed a lump in my throat.

  Sienna rolled her eyes and started reeling off names of potential dates to which Rosie ignored, turning to me.

  “Yes! It’s just a silly family tradition…” she blushed.

  We said our goodbyes, and I walked back to the car park, slipping my earphones into the socket of the phone to play my latest mix. I walked down the stairs, not looking where I was going. I exited out onto the street, the sky already dull, the clouds dark, the air charged with the promise of a storm.

  I pulled my coat around me until I reached the bus stop, music blaring in my ears. I didn’t notice the car pull up beside me until it was blocking the bus stop, and a familiar head leaned out the window.

  “Gretchen, let me give you a ride. Please.”

  I took my earphones out and walked over to the car.

  Luke’s blue eyes filled with concern as he motioned to the seat beside him.

  I just can’t with this boy.

  What made him think I would ever get in a car with him again? Better yet, why did he want me to?

  “Luke, I would rather walk. Please leave me alone.”

  I went to put my earphones back in when he touched my arm.

  “You know what, Gretchen? We both kinda fucked up this past year. You hurt me. But then I was a dick, and I upset you. I’m sorry.”

  He seemed genuine, and I finally met his gaze with mine.

  “I love him, Luke. I’m sorry that I hurt you, but you and I have nothing else to say to each other.”

  I noticed the pain in his eyes when he nodded.

  “I know, but you know what G, he isn’t here, and I am. I just want to be friends,” he mumbled, his eyes on mine.

  Part of me wanted to scream at him and beg for any information on Cal, but I couldn’t bring myself to.

  “Thank you, Luke, I really appreciate your offer of a ride. I hope you understand why I am saying no. Have fun tonight.”

  I said this as firmly as I could, aware his eyes were still on me. I stepped back as the rain fell.

  He gazed at me for a beat before smiling sadly, pulling away from the curb with speed.

  The bus eventually made its way towards me like a beacon in the night, and I gratefully climbed on board. I sat by the window and stared out into the darkness; the music filling my ears.

  I couldn’t banish the thoughts in my mind that were always there, reminding me that once I had felt something instead of this constant state of emptiness.

  When I got off the bus, the rain was pouring. I considered my friends in their beautiful dresses, having to contend with this weather, as my boots disappeared into the small puddles that formed on the ground.

  I walked past Cal’s house, my heart rate increasing as always, to see it shrouded in darkness. I stood for a minute. The tears that fell from my face blended with the rain, making it impossible to tell the difference.

  Will this pain ever end? Will the thoughts ever go away?

  I pushed away from the fence, heading towards my home, and left the memories behind.

  The rain slammed onto the sidewalk, falling so heavily I could barely see in front of me.

  Typical Winterburg rain.

  I didn’t mind it tonight; it soothed my soul.

  An orange glow burned in front of me for a split second, stopping me in my tracks. I searched for it again, but it had disappeared.

  More mind tricks, Gretchen.

  Maybe I was finally losing it, hallucinating along with everything else. I shook my head and moved faster, my head down now against the elements. I ran up the drive to my house, peeling off my coat and calling out to my parents.

  It was warm and welcoming in the house, and I was grateful to be away from the world. I wandered into the kitchen to find a note from my parents letting me know they had gone out for dinner.

  I knew they felt guilty for my unhappiness, but it wasn’t their fault. I tugged the elastic from my hair and flipped my head over, shaking the curls out. I flipped my head back and left it loose. I headed upstairs, thoughts of a bath and a book coming to mind.

  I slung my dirty clothes into the laundry as I unclipped my bra with relief.

  What is it about taking your bra off at the end of a day?

  Total relief.

  My phone pinged, and I reached over to see it was Rosie.

  ROSIE:

  Finn.

  I gasped.

  Finn?

  He was her date to prom? How did I not guess?

  A million questions run through my mind as I text her back.

  GRETCHEN:

  OMG! Have fun, I love you!

  I walked into the bathroom smiling to myself as I imagined Finn’s eyes falling out of their sockets when he laid eyes on his date in that dress. I turned the taps on, reveling in hearing the rain battering the windows outside.

  I drizzled some bath cream into the hot water and watched idly as the water turned soapy and full of bubbles. Just then, the doorbell rang, and I frowned.

  Who could that be?

  This concerned me; Luke seemed to have a hard time leaving me alone. But surely, he would be at prom, or getting ready for prom?

  If it was him, I would lose my shit.

  I’ll hand deliver him to Krystal in a body bag.

  I grabbed a towel and quickly turned the taps off, making my way downstairs. I tried to look through the glass at who it was, aware that the someone on the other side wore a hat through the blurry glass. Cautiously, I leaned close to the door.

  “Who is it?” I demanded.

  No answer.

  I felt uneasy.

  Why would someone ring the bell then not answer when asked who it was?

  It had to be Luke.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  I gripped my towel around my body tighter, wondering what the hell I was going to
do.

  The doorbell rang again.

  “Who is it?! I’m not answering the door until you tell me who it is!” I yelled, my heart pounding with terror.

  “It’s me.”

  Chapter Twenty- two

  GRETCHEN

  I could barely breathe, my fingers fumbling with the lock as I opened the door.

  That voice...It couldn’t be.

  My mind reeled in shock at the sight of him as he leaned against the doorway, his dirty blonde hair longer than I remembered, a beard on his face.

  It can’t be.

  “Do you always answer the door dressed like that?” His eyes twinkled as he drank me in, his hands stroking the beard on his chin softly. The black skinny jeans hugged his legs, the thin white t-shirt soaked through from the rain, exposing his skin and incredible body. I took in his rough beard and intense green eyes that stared into mine.

  “Cal?” I tried to sound strong, but my voice shook violently as a wave of dizziness overpowered me.

  “I must be hallucinating,” I mumbled, tears filling my eyes as I blinked rapidly.

  He strode towards me, his long legs closing the distance between us easily. His mouth met mine roughly, his hands in my hair as he kissed me fiercely.

  At first, he was holding me upright, but then I returned the kiss, my heart racing and jumping around ecstatically in my chest. He kicked the door shut behind him and he pulled away so he could see me properly.

  I cried, hot tears of anger falling down my cheeks. “What the fuck, Cal?” I stammered, my voice barely audible as he closed his eyes, exhaling loudly. “You bastard!”

  “I know,” his voice was gruff with emotion.

  He smelled so good, my body screamed for him in every capacity, but the tears continued as I shoved him in the chest.

  “You fucking left me! Just left. Do you have any idea what you have done to me? You can’t just walk in here expecting to pick up where we left off like nothing has happened! I thought you loved me,” I sobbed again, my heart shattering to a million pieces. My body hunched over as I tried to remain calm.

  He grabbed my shoulders and put his face up to mine, his eyes blazing. “I’ve got some explaining to do; if you’ll let me. But don’t for one second think I stopped loving you. I’ve thought about you every single minute of every day,” his thumb ran under my eyes, wiping away the tears. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. But I didn’t have a choice.”

  I stared at him, unable to believe he was my reality.

  “But I’m here now,” he mumbled, pulling me towards him as he buried his face into my curls.

  I breathed in his familiar scent, wrapping my arms around his muscular body. My mouth littered urgent kisses on his throat until he turned his mouth to mine, and once again we kissed so intensely, I thought I was going to bear physical marks from it.

  I grabbed his hand, which was around my head, pulling me in deeper to him.

  “My parents will be back soon,” I stammered as I backed away slowly.

  He breathed heavily, kissing my throat whilst his fingers slid under my towel.

  “I’ve missed you so much,” he groaned, my body responding to the touch it had yearned for months, despite my brain screaming at it to remain still.

  I pulled away, holding my hand against his chest, the other gripping my towel.

  He leaned back against the door and watched me, a confused expression on his stunning face.

  “Give me a minute. Stay there,” I ordered, turning towards the stairs.

  I ran upstairs and pulled the plug from the bath. I dropped my towel and slid on my underwear, spraying some deodorant before slipping my hoodie on. I pulled on jeans and boots and picked my jacket up.

  He is back.

  As much as I wanted to have his body wrapped around mine for the rest of my life, I deserved some answers.

  I made my way downstairs to see him with his hands in his pockets, his broad chest still wet from the rain. He looked solemn, and my heart skipped a beat.

  What was he going to say? What could possibly explain leaving me without even a text?

  “My parents will be back soon,” I repeated urgently. “I need to hear why, when, where, but most of all why!” I folded my arms in front of me.

  “Come with me,” he commanded gruffly. His hand held mine, and the other opened the door.

  Regardless of everything he had put me through, I felt powerless to fight this. I wanted my explanation, and more than anything, I wanted him.

  I followed Cal outside, relieved to see the rain wasn’t as heavy as it had been earlier. His car was parked opposite my house, and I climbed into the familiar passenger side. I clipped my seat belt in as the car screeched away; the wipers clearing the sodden windshield.

  Cal flicked the heaters on to clear the windows, which would take a while, given how cold it was.

  Why am I thinking about the fucking windows?

  I didn’t ask where we were going, because I didn’t really care.

  I texted my parents to say I’d gone for some food and I would be back later—I wouldn’t make that mistake twice—and stared at the road ahead of us.

  The rain wasn’t letting up at all, making the road hard to see at the speed Cal drove. We were soon on the freeway, and I took this moment to sneak a look at him. He fixed his eyes on the road, concentration on his beautiful face. I wanted to pinch myself.

  I can’t believe he is here.

  My phone pinged, causing him to glance over at me.

  I could’ve told him it was from my parents, but I wanted him to wonder who it is. I allowed myself a smile and slid the phone back into my jacket.

  He frowned and chewed on his lip, deep in thought.

  We pulled off the freeway, heading through roads that all seem the same as the one before that. I didn’t know this area too well, so I asked him where we were going.

  “Won’t be long, Raven, you’ll see.”

  The mention of my pet name from his lips made me shiver with longing, but I couldn’t shake the anger.

  “You don’t get to call me that anymore,” I snapped haughtily.

  He lifted his eyebrows as he pulled onto a dirt road surrounded by trees and shrubs. We made our way up a long and narrow driveway, and as my eyes focused, a house came into view that you couldn’t see from the road.

  “You live here?” I murmured, despite my anger.

  He nodded and got out of the car, and I did the same. The house was beautiful, with shutters adorning the windows, ivy climbing up the old brickwork and steps leading to a rustic porch.

  Cal retrieved his key from his pocket and opened the door, confirming that yes, he lived here, and that he wasn’t breaking in.

  I followed him inside, walking into a hallway with shiny wooden floors, a sweeping white staircase and mirrors on the dark walls.

  Cal slung off his jacket, tossing it on the banister, then peeled his wet t-shirt off. I gulped as I watched the muscles on his back rippling and averted my eyes to the floor.

  Don’t get distracted.

  He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling out two beers. He popped the lids off and gestured for me to follow him. He handed me a beer and threw himself down on a grey sofa covered with blankets, raising his bottle to me as he took a sip.

  I placed my beer down without touching the contents and continued to stand, my arms folded as I waited.

  He sighed, knowing full well what needed to be done. “This hasn’t been the easiest thing for me either, Gretchen.”

  I remained silent, purely because I couldn’t be trusted to not tell him to fuck himself.

  How dare he?!

  He rubbed his head, his strong, tanned body still glistening with rain.

  “I couldn’t contact you. I had to make a decision, quickly,” he confessed, his eyes on me the whole time. He inhaled slowly, before he sipped more of his beer.

  “Couldn’t or wouldn’t?” I whispered.

  He looked at me directly and
continued like I haven’t spoken. “I got a letter, Gretchen. They addressed it to ‘L Cape.’ It was handwritten.”

  I frowned, confused.

  Who is L Cape?

  Why would that make him leave?

  I bit my lip to stop myself interrupting.

  “No one knew my address or my real name, aside from family. The letter told me that my identity was no longer a secret, and that it was only a matter of time until I joined the others.”

  His voice was flat as he stared at the floor.

  My heart was in my mouth. “The New York father?”

  He nodded silently. “Me and Drake split. You were in danger—I couldn’t remain here, fucking around like we were just two teenagers in love,” he smiles sadly. “I didn’t know what he knew, if he knew about you, but I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t risk you.”

  I took a huge slug of beer at that point, before I sank into a beanbag on the floor in front of him. “You were in danger and you left? I thought the worst. I thought you were dead…” I shook my head in confusion. “I don’t get it, you ran again, but you’ve come back. I don’t understand.”

  He didn’t raise his eyes to look at me, but winced, as though he knows what he was going to say will shock me. “I went back to New York, Gretchen.”

  Chapter Twenty-three

  GRETCHEN

  If I wasn’t sitting down, I would’ve collapsed.

  “What?” I cried then, not sure what had happened, or how he was still alive in front of me.

  “You’re in witness protection!” I hissed, stunned by his sheer stupidity.

  He raised his beautiful green eyes to mine, and I sobbed harder.

  “I need you to tell me what happened to you,” I whispered, as my hands trembled.

  Cal shook his head slightly, his expression unreadable. He peeled the label from the beer bottle, and absentmindedly I remember reading that it was a sign of sexual frustration.

  Why does that make me feel happier?

  I jumped when he spoke gruffly.

  “It was fucking hard, Raven. But you’re safe now, that’s all that matters. I want to tell you everything, I just... can’t, okay? Not yet. Give me time, please.” He held his face in his hands and I crawled forward to where he was.