Your Red Always

by Leeann Whitaker

  “Well, you are early,” Laurie replies, only to receive another blow. “And perhaps I underestimated the warrior you once were… girls will do that to you.” He sniggers.

  “You were my fuckin friend… and Connor… why?” He punches Laurie over and over. “I’ve stood by you all these years. Turned a blind eye, and fixed things when you’ve screwed up.” Adrien thrashes. “You tainted that blood and watched me sorting out your mess. Why… so you can take my place!”

  Laurie nods his head slowly left to right, laughing scornfully. “Ha… the most notorious Executive has no clue what’s been happening.” He spits the blood from his mouth at Adrien’s feet. “All those years, you have only done what suits you. You forgot you were the one who had us all turned,” he says. “Things are changing. And you, along with Miss Lovell, have set the wheels in motion.”

  “So this is about Sange Pentru? You swore your allegiance to them… to me. I didn’t fuckin make you,” he yells. “And as for our mission, jeez Laurie, I was you commanding office and I had orders from above,” his tone pitches. “You would have done the same dammit.” Adrien shakes as his eyes blacken and jaw bulges.

  “And here he is, Lieutenant Knight. Still thinking of himself as a glorified officer,” Laurie grunts. “Oh, I see you haven’t brought you prized blade with you… sir,” he sniggers. “You’ve given me orders for far too long.” He stabs Adrien above the hip with the knuckle ring.

  I scramble off the bed as Adrien keels over. I have to help him. Dom holds me back and begins to drag me to the door, pulling on Sara’s hand. But both Sara and I refuse to move.

  Laurie picks up a sword from behind an old chest of drawers. The evil bastard has prepared for this.

  Adrien straightens up and they both circle each other. Laurie swishes the sword in a figure of eight motion, then slices across Adrien’s arm.

  “Shame, I remember how good you once were with a blade. You’ve let yourself go,” Laurie toys. “Look, I don’t want to kill you my friend. I want you to see the future I’m going to help make.”

  Adrien Flits right behind Laurie, clamping his elbow around his throat. Laurie turns, also using his ability to get free, and the sword cuts deep across the side of Adrien’s neck. He teeters, trying to keep upright with his hand pressed firm on the gash. His blood seeps through each finger, and he breathes out with a rattle.

  “Adrien!”

  “Now see, look what you made me do,” Laurie whines.

  I get free of Dom and race across the room, watching in complete horror as Adrien gazes hopelessly at me. He has this look on his face; a despairing valediction that petrifies me. He binds his arms securely around Laurie, and suddenly dives through the second story window with him.

  I run. Everything has stopped moving apart from me. My feet don’t even touch the surface as I bound down the stairs in flight.

  Large fragments of glass cut my feet as I charge across the wet dirt. But it doesn’t hurt. I’m numb to all pain now. I sprint toward his body. He’s only a foot from Laurie, strewed on his side. I get as far as Laurie’s hip, when I’m unexpectedly slashed across the forearm by the sword. But I don’t stop; not even he can harm me anymore.

  I slide on my knees by Adrien’s body. My bloody hands stain the white t-shirt under his hoody as I tip him over onto his back. Again the sword appears. This time in front of my face, and instantly plunges right down into Adrien’s chest before I can stop it.

  “No!”

  “Didn’t want to do that.” Laurie staggers behind me. “He was good stock.”

  I cry into the night and acquire the strength to push a wounded Laurie away for Dom and Sara to deal with.

  I hover my fingers over his face, while holding the artery that’s spitting out watery blood from his neck. I hear my muffled name begin called. I look ahead to see Nathan yelling in Adrien’s Land Rover, kicking at the door. I blink slowly at him. He knows what’s running through my mind. It’s the only way. I turn away in disarray.

  “Adrien… Adrien, wake up,” I cry frantically. “You need to heal now. Shit Adrien!” He’s non-responsive.

  I look at the handle of the blade. It is clear what I must do. I’ve seen it, and I’m not going to sit here and watch him die.

  I wrap my fingers around the handle of the sword, stand, and pull it from his body. He makes no sound, no movement in pain, nothing.

  I drop down by his face. Using my thumb I push down on his chin so his mouth widens, and squeeze the blood from my wounded forearm. I watch as it drops onto his teeth. But there isn’t enough. It’s not going to work.

  The sword lays on the ground next to me. I lift it, hearing Nathan banging on the car door, shouting at me because he knows my plan. I stay focused. I have to bring him back.

  I pierce my wrist further down, cutting from the base of my thumb right across. Whether it’s the cold air anesthetising me, or shock, I feel nothing at all. The cut is deep and now the blood is ample.

  Abruptly he twitches and jolts up with eyes of black, sealing his lips on my skin. He drinks me, clasping below my elbow with one hand, and the other caressing in and out of my tingling fingertips. I see the deep blue veins beneath his skin pulsing, taking in the healing benefits of my blood. God. This is a surreal sensation. It doesn’t hurt. It’s a pure unearthly experience, almost primitive. We’re alone, and nothing can break through this moment of strange peace we’re in.

  My head is a little heavy; heavy but warm and content. I sigh loud as he slows in consuming me. I close my eyes. I’m weary and comfortable enough to sleep now. His lips leave my bloody slick skin. He can hold me now. I sway and collapse against his chest.

  “No!” He roars, as I drift away in his arms. “Help me!”

  I smile up at him. “We’re okay…okay.” I let myself float away.

  Chapter 28: Make me, Break me

  The hot pale sand underneath my bare feet. The heat of the sunrays upon my skin. The silky breeze sweeping over my body. Nothing can beat this: sun, sea, and sand. With a JD and ice in one hand, and an ice-crushed cocktail in the other, I make my way across the beach, back to the two loungers beneath a large bowed palm tree.

  I’m wearing a deep red bikini. I wouldn’t normally wear something so scanty. But hell, if by some miracle, I’ve toned up real good. I’m not meaning to blow my own trumpet, but I look great, like I’ve been physically airbrushed.

  I can’t remember getting here. I’m not even sure where I am. I’m thinking Adrien owns this private beach. There’s not a soul here, just the two beds overlooking the calm waves sweeping up against the shore.

  I stand beside my lounger. Adrien’s gone. He must have gone back to the car; if we came by car. I fall into thought. I must have had a lot to drink last night and it’s killed off some memory cells, because I can’t recall a thing, other than the here and now. I shrug it off. I’m in the most perfect place, with Mr Perfect (when he gets back) enjoy it Liz, I tell myself.

  The soft sand goes in-between my toes as I sit, taking a sip of my refreshing cocktail. I’m not entirely sure what’s in it. I can’t even see the bar I got it from. There’s definitely gin and raspberries, and I think even a dash of lime. Hmm, it’s very nice whatever it is. I pop it into the cup holder, swing my legs upon the brown padded cushion, and shimmy into a comfortable spot.

  As I lounge back I slip in my earphones. I close my eyes and move my foot to the beat of Mt Eden. I sigh a relaxed breath. This is a dream. The perfect setting, the smell of coconut oil on my skin, and the fiery thoughts in my head of making love to Adrien on this beach when he gets back. Hmmm. I know he avoids the sun. I guess that’s why I’m now bathing in shade alone. He probably needed a break from it. It’s so sweet, the way he’s indulging me on exotic vacation.

  I exhale as a large drip lands in my belly button. Rain. Only I would bring the rain to a tropical climate. I pull the earphone from my right ear to take a peek, and see a shadowy figure stood at the foot of my lounger.

  “Adrien?�
�� I peel open both lids and squint in the sun.

  “Oh shit.”

  My heart stops and starts with a jolt as I scramble up in panic, falling from the bed. I’m trying to shout for Adrien, but not a sound comes from my mouth. I’m completely mute. Laurie stands within an arms-reach, his face full of oozing blisters. He has Adrien’s decapitated head in his hands. It wasn’t rain that fell on me, it was blood. Silently screaming, I sink with each movement into the sand as I tear my way backward.

  “Elizabeth, what’s wrong.” Laurie speaks, but its Adrien’s voice coming from his mouth.

  I stare, panting with my lips agape as he steps closer to me.

  “Elizabeth.” He drops Adrien’s head on my lounger. “Wake up now.”

  I’m dreaming, I think. Shit. This has to be some screwed up delirious nightmare.

  Laurie holds his hands out to me, laced in Adrien’s blood. I squeal, locking my eyes tight in sheer-fear.

  “Elizabeth,” a distant voice echoes. “I don’t know if this will work Adrien. She’s lost a lot of blood.” It’s Sara, I’m sure of it.

  I try to open my eyes, but I can still feel the warmth of the sun, and if I look I know Laurie will get me.

  “Just do what you can Sara,” Adrien’s voice carries in the wind.

  I groan and fidget, awkwardly. The summer breeze has suddenly been replaced by a cooler temperature, and I feel a cool cotton sheet over my feet.

  Queasiness surges through my gut and my mouth is as dry as the sand I was trying to escape from. I blink, seeing a dim light beside me. I blink again, this time forcing my lids to remain open. If I drift away, I might end up back on that beach.

  Using my hands, I heave my sensitive body upright to see wires emerging from each of my arms. Hospital drips. But which hospital is this? I have my own room, which very spacious. And the deco is something you’d find in a luxury hotel; all neutral shades with subtle opulent fabrics. I can’t smell cheap hospital disinfectant, just a sweet floral scent. This most definitely isn’t the standard national health facility.

  I note the drip stands to each side of me, both transfusing blood into my veins. Did Adrien turn me; is this a way of feeding me so I don’t go stark raving bonkers? But then I see the cuts on my wrist and hand all bandaged up. If I were now a Vampire, they would have healed.

  There’s a slight shuffle noise ahead of me. I squint into the dark corner to see Adrien’s shadow slumped right back, with his head against his hand.

  “Adrien,” I croak.

  He shifts to the edge of the chair so I can see him clearly. He’s wearing a blue V-neck sweater with grey trousers. I smile, I’m glad to see him, so much so I become teary. I wait for him to say something or smile back, but he doesn’t. He’s unshaven and very despondent.

  “Adrien,” I call again. “Where am I?”

  He buffs his stubble with his fingers. “You’re at Sara’s,” he utters low.

  “Oh… Laurie?”

  “He’s been dealt with accordingly.” His tone is very off with me.

  “By you?”

  “Yes Elizabeth, by me.”

  “So the Voax… are they still hunting me?”

  He nods. “There was no Voax… all Laurie’s concoction.” He hangs his head.

  “Nathan?”

  “He’s fine… for now.”

  I clasp my hands over the white cotton sheet covering lap. He’s really mad with me for some reason. I’m so confused and apprehensive, that I can’t look at him for more than a second.

  “Why did you do that, Elizabeth? You nearly died,” he glares. “It was stupid.”

  Wow. I thought what I did was right. Everything in me screamed do it. I don’t understand why he’s so cross.

  “I had to do it, I wasn’t going to let you die,” I utter in defence.

  He gets up and begins to pace back and forth. He’s creating an awful unease in me as I witness him striding and grunting, jerking his neck sharply. I take the white blanket and slip it from my legs. I’m wearing black pyjama pants and a tight white t-shirt.

  I fumble around, looking for a route. I need to get off this bed and hold him. But because of the drips attached to my veins, I can’t move anywhere.

  “You should have let me die.” He continues to pace. “How could you be so brash with your life?”

  My cheeks heat with anger. “I don’t understand. I mean that little to you you’d rather die?” I snap.

  “I could have killed you. Hell, I nearly did.” His eyes strike me with a hard uncompromising passion. “There’s always been one thing about you, the thing that has always lessened the thirst. The way you have somehow got beneath my skin and made me human,” he swallows. “I nearly took you all,” he stresses.

  “So that’s all I am,” I frown. “My mortality is just as necessary to you as a bag of blood?”

  He hovers at the foot of the bed. “No Elizabeth.”

  “So if I did die, you wouldn’t have brought me back; made me the same as you?” I question.

  He laughs cynically and begins his angry pacing ritual again. My eyes are finding it hard to keep up with his frustrated movements.

  “I’ll do everything in my power to save a life rather than take it,” he states clearly. “It’s not something I’ll inflict on purpose. Especially on you.” He pauses. “Becoming a slave to the thirst… jeez, I may has well roll up your sleeve and inject you with heroin.”

  “Then what about Sara… Dom?”

  He holds his head very still, visibly not liking my argument. “Don’t compare yourself to them,” he nearly yells. “You know Dom’s story. And as for Sara,” he huffs. “Laurie beat and cut her so bad she stopped breathing; what the hell was I supposed to do? I had to clean up his mess, and at the time it was the only thing I could do,” he emphasises. “Maybe I should have left her, let her die. I guess I’m just a god damn fool.”

  My eyes start to water. I’d rather be back in that freaky nightmare with Laurie, than have him reprimanding me this way. I’m in love with him. Does he not realise, that when you love someone lines are crossed when it comes to losing them.

  “Would you,” I snivel. “Not have done the same in my shoes? I let you drink me because I care enough about you not to let you die,” I snap. “We’ve already been through this whole I’m not good for you nonsense, and I’ve accepted what you are. It has no relevance or impact, other than your incessant need to keep bringing it up,” I yell, breathlessly. “I did not do a thing to instigate any of this, only try to save you.”

  “Don’t!”

  “Don’t what?” I wipe my cool cheek.

  “Cry… fuck it… Elizabeth,” he growls.

  In frustration, I yank the wire and needle out of my right arm so I can get out of bed. A bulb of blood swells from the puncture site. He rushes across and holds down my shoulders, to stop me pulling out the left. He’s in my face, nose to nose, eyeing me angrily. I weep; I can’t stop it. His serious lines soften and he lays his hands on my cheeks. I gaze at him, noticing the gleam across his pupils. He places his head on mine, bracing down his jaw.

  “All this is my fault, Laurie was right. I’ve been blinded by you. Now I’ll be forever on guard, unable to be with you the way I want to be… You deserve a life.” I can see he’s fighting hard not to shed a very rare tear.

  “You didn’t do anything other than take what I gave you,” I implore. “You wouldn’t need to always be looking over your shoulder, if you made me like you,” I swallow.

  He sits by my side. “You really are impossible.” He breaks a slight smile. “Let me tell you a few things before you carry on with this notion that me biting you, then letting you feed from me, is the best solution.”

  “Okay,” I sigh.

  “You will feel a pain that’s a whole lot worse than death. You will pray to your god to show mercy and take you.” He lifts my hand. “You will feed, vomit, feed, vomit, because your deceased body is in a state of turmoil, awakening, changing, adapting to a darker
way,” he explains. “Your soul, your light, will never find peace, locked in a shell for eternity. And you’ll feel it inside, the abyss you’ll never escape from.” He threads his fingers over my knuckles. “So you want all that… you would sacrifice what you have to be with me?”

  “Yes.”

  I tilt my head and kiss his lips. I’ve needed his touch for too long. His skin is rough, so I nibble gently. I need to show him we can be together. That there is no greater thing than us.

  “Turn me,” I gaze.

  He begins to kiss my cheek then voyages slowly down my neck. I slant so he can find the best spot and close my eyes. I enjoy the passionate necking while waiting for his bite. But he moves back with a deep lengthy breath.

  “I don’t need to… not now.” His hand trails under my hairline and squeezes. “You will do what you were set out on this earth for. To live life, Elizabeth.”

  I’m kind of dissatisfied. I get that what he will essentially be doing is killing me. But I would be reborn in his image. It emerges, a deep disappointed sigh. Taking my bandaged arm to my chest, I think of what my existence as a Vampire would be like. I wouldn’t have this cut on my arm for a start. I’d be strong, and be able to Flit from one place to another with speed. God, I bet the sex would be astronomical and so worth it. Not needing sleep, what else would we get up to in the twilight hours?

  “So, are we good?”

  I’m wondering where he’s going with this. If he wants me to live as a human, how we’ll make it work. To be apart? My belly burns with an empty feeling at the thought of this being some final goodbye.

  “Hmm,” he beams as the blood drains from my face. “Okay, I shall tell you exactly how I feel about you.” He stares, and I’m nervous about what’s going to come out of his mouth. “You asked for it,” he toys. “I let my whole dark existence, my duty, my authority, slide, because you have given me so much more. You make this heart do things only a human heart does. I’m alive with you, Elizabeth Lovell.”

  “If I were a Vampire… would you not feel those things?” Oops, that should have stayed locked inside my head.