Your Red Always

by Leeann Whitaker

  “I’ve just given you the best line ever, and still you push it. You should settle for my answer, Elizabeth.” He gently rocks my neck. “I told you no, and it will stand that way until you have reached all the goals you had before you met me.” His tone is soft yet firm. “Let’s be what we are… Okay?” He kisses my head. “Now please, will you rest?”

  I don’t want him to leave, not yet. This damn needle needs taking out of my arm. I’m okay now. I don’t need to be chained to this bed. I get up and hobble barefoot around the bed. I take hold of the drip stand and twiddle with the line.

  “Where do you think you’re going… you need to rest,” he asserts. “Anaemia is a very serious illness.”

  “I’m fine, and I need to see Nathan. To see if he’s okay.”

  He holds the open door and rolls his eyes. “Get back into that bed,” he orders. “I’ll send Nathan in… if he’s ready. But you mustn’t push him Elizabeth, he’s finding all this hard.”

  I do as I’m told and sit on the bed, waiting apprehensively. I pluck at the large white sticky band aid. It’s stuck to my arm hair and is beginning to itch like crazy. I manage to curl over a tiny section at the bottom. I can’t see much, other than dried blood and a few irritated spots. I want to rip the thing off and scratch the hell out of it.

  The door opens. Nathan pops his head through, leaving his body outside. I don’t care about the damn drip now. I roll out the stand and clumsily rush across to him. He sticks out his hand, wanting to keep a distance between us.

  “Nathan… come in.” Please don’t bite me though.

  He smiles, “I’m not going to eat you, Liz.”

  I need to stop thinking in his presence, but that’s kind of impossible to do.

  Apart from being extremely pale, he doesn’t look to bad. Adrien has given him some of his clothes. The jeans are a little long in the leg, but he’s clean, with no dirt or blood on his face. Not like the night when he pounced on me.

  “Liz… I’m sorry about that.”

  I try to clear my mind as he hovers like a terrified child. Who should be more anxious here? He can read my mind, and I’ve got stuff rattling around up there that no one should know.

  “You need to work on your shield, or whatever it is they keep warning me about,” he mumbles. “The static buzzing from you is going right through me,” he cringes.

  He sits in the chair flinching as I hesitantly perch on the edge of the bed. I fiddle with the tangled line, trying my best to think of something to say to him. How can I possibly make this situation less daunting for him? It’s not like he’s sick and going to get better. His entire life has been turned upside-down.

  “I’m sorry Nathan,” I sigh. “If I could, I would have told you… you know that.”

  “Let’s just say we’re both to blame.” He suspends his head solemnly. “Mine for not keeping you when I had you. I was a dick… a stupid little boy,” he angers. “And well you, for falling for one of nature’s freaks. But I guess I’m just like him now aren’t I? God, this is so fucked up.”

  “What happened… who did it to you?”

  “Laurie is an acquaintance of the company director of Westons. Drinks went down well, things got a little messy, and then I punched my boss.” He shakes his head. “He was there, watching me have a mental breakdown over you. The smarmy shite talked sense at the time. The rest, you can guess,” he says. “Thing is, he had the impression I wanted you to suffer. But I could never hurt you.”

  Suddenly, he ricochets over clasping his head, while bobbing his legs madly. I jump up and grab the drip stand to go to him as he growls out in agony. Immediately, his hand shoots out to stop me.

  “Don’t Liz,” he snarls through his teeth. “It will go… in a minute.”

  I wait on tenterhooks, watching as he gradually calms down. With deep creases around his eyes he sits back, rubbing his temples firmly.

  Adrien has told me about awakening, and I’m amazed. He has a lot more control over it than I expected. I back up to the bed and sit. I’m not frightened of him, more cautious.

  “Shit,” he growls. “Do you remember the hangover we had after my twentieth? Well my skull feels just like that,” he fidgets. “Your boyfriend hasn’t helped, forcing me to drink, every hour on the hour. I’ve had blood poured down my neck whether I need it or not … it’s fuckin sick.” He massages his eyes with his thumb and finger. “And that schizo Leanna messing inside my head, well that’s just been a barrel of laughs.” I remain silent. I don’t know what to say to him to make things right. “Promise me one thing before I go…”

  “Go where,” I interrupt.

  “I can’t stay here Liz can I,” he groans. “Being around you and him will destroy me… I’ve been told that.”

  “By who?”

  “All of them. All of this crap I’m going through needs to go smoothly apparently,” he sarcastically says. “I may go off the rails, start hunting and feeding on virgins.” He’s trying to make light of this, but it isn’t working.

  “Where?”

  “Paris, with Leanna, where I will be taught how to be a nice little Vamp,” he smirks. “Who’d have thought there’d be such a thing eh?”

  “Why haven’t I been told any of this?” I madden. “I’ll stop them… you can stay here. I’m sure Adrien can help.”

  “Liz, you’ve been out-cold for two full days. And Mr Prick, well he’s done enough don’t you think,” he says as a lone tear drops from my lashes. “Promise me one thing, Liz.” He stands up. “Please do not let them do this to you. No matter what. I’d tell you get away from him, but I know you won’t listen.”

  I sniffle as he walks over. The thought of not seeing my best friend again, has made me realise things have changed in my life, and dramatically. My love for Adrien is a tsunami. And like a tsunami, no matter what is in the way, there is no way of stopping it.

  “Hey.” He stands over me. “Not forever.” He arches down, kisses my hair, and leaves.

  Chapter 29: Sea Of Flame

  This bag full of books on my shoulder, is now surplus to my requirements. And the weight of the last four years of study, has virtually been lifted away from me. I’ve done it. Final exams are over, and my last day of uni is now complete.

  I make my way by the wooden flower beds. I notice the new buds of spring emerging from the soil as my phone beeps in my bag. I place it down on the pavement and rummage. It must be Adrien, and I never leave him waiting.

  I’ve not seen him all week. He’s away on business in Prague. I would have gone with him, but it was important for me to tie up loose ends and bid farewell to my friends. So instead of jet setting around the globe, I’ve been stuck here in hectic London.

  He was pissed that he couldn’t be here to celebrate. Normally, he would pull a few strings and rearrange his schedule. But this time he said it was of vital importance he go.

  Finally I find it. It’s a message. I open my inbox and smile, seeing Nathan’s name.

  Hey Liz, I’m gonna miss the knees up tonight. Not being able to hold your hair while you puke in the gutter, is gonna kill me. Have a great time, and well done. Nathan xx :D

  It’s going to be dull night without him, and I’ll most likely end up minding a drunken Cate. Nonetheless, I suppose I should be pleased. Even though his whole life has change because of me, he seems to be doing really well. He has took the Vigore world by storm with his trade experience, working his way up the ranks in Paris.

  There were a few minor events I was kept abreast with during his awakening. That’s if you can call them minor. Once he licked the neck of a male foreign diplomat, and other when he broke free and kidnapped his neighbour’s cat. But now, he has control over the thirst, and has fit into his role with ease. He even plans to return for a visit soon.

  ***

  As soon as I open the door I’m greeted by Cate, trying to remove the cork from a bottle of champagne, unsuccessfully.

  “Yay.” She struggles with the bottle.

/>   I laugh and take it from her, managing to open it straightaway. I frown because there was no pop or cascade of champers, just a pathetic puff of air.

  She draws in her cheek. “It was on discount at the off-license… still drinkable.”

  My peripheral vision is drawn to the colour red. I turn to the coffee table, and see a huge bouquet of red roses that would rival the most lavish spray.

  “Oh, yes.” Cate jumps excitedly. “Mr Knight I presume.”

  Wow. Has she overdosed on the happy pills today?

  I pick out two cream envelopes. Cate looks on in anticipation. Her opinion of Adrien has gone from zero to hero. All because he modernised the flat while she was away looking after her mum in January. He had every trade contact here, working around the clock. Even purchased a plush designer leather corner group for the place. Of course she doesn’t know the truth. That it was all done to rid that awful Voax symbol. The fact is, she has absolutely no idea about Adrien, and that is how I intend to keep it.

  I open the first envelope and read the small elegant card:

  My Dearest Elizabeth

  Congratulation on achieving your goal. I know the world, like I, has gained a one in a million treasure.

  Love always

  Adrien.

  “Well… what does it say?” Cate pesters.

  My eyes reel as I rip the seal open on second envelope. It’s an elaborate invitation, formally requesting my presence for a celebratory dinner, on the 68th floor of The Shard, at 8pm.

  Oh god. Cate has been looking forward to taking me out all week. But I’m desperate to see Adrien, especially now he’s cut his trip short for me. I peer under my brow at her. She snatches the invite from me and reads.

  “Oh that’s just great… how do I compete with this?” She sulks.

  There’s a knock on the door. Cate lumbers across the room in a strop to open it.

  “I don’t have to go,” I call after her.

  She comes back through with a large cream box, tied with silk ribbon. She holds it out to me with a shoulder shrug.

  “Go on, open it then,” she moans.

  I place it on the sofa, undo the ivory ribbon, and lift the lid to see white tissue paper. Cate quickly joins my side; her enthusiasm now brimming. She gasps, and so do I at the content. Carefully, I take out the beautiful dress I was gawping at last week while sat in traffic with Adrien. I don’t usually dream about clothing, but this dress seemed to call to me. It’s a cream lace, fit and flare number, with a black lace belt, and comes just above the knee.

  I don’t know whether to feel cross, or fortunate. I have discussed this with him before. I told him he needs to let me pay for my own things.

  “Liz,” Cate shrieks, beaming ear to ear.

  She holding up a bra that is almost identical to the dress. Cream lace with tiny black silk ribbons. I blush, snatch the bra, and drop it into the box.

  He has got everything right. Outfit, tasteful sexy underwear, gorgeous shoes I won’t break my neck in. I sigh, trying to contain my eagerness to see him.

  “Go get ready,” Cate orders. “I’ll get my hairdryer.”

  “But…”

  “But what,” she snaps. “If you don’t marry that man, then I will.” She pushes me and the box toward my room.

  I slip my feet into the suede cream heels, deep in thought. Is tonight the night he will turn me? For months we’ve kept our relationship low key. I have only mentioned it a few times, and each time he has brushed the topic aside in his usual unbendable way. He is well aware it is something he will eventually have to do. Or maybe he’s partial to saggy boobs and a blue rinse. It’s hard for him, and I understand that. But I’m only going to grow old as he exists timelessly. The only other way would be for us to part, and for me, that would be unbearable.

  I’ve spent a lot of time over the past few months studying the workings of the city Vampire, and I now know of the chain of command. The Order being at the top. Then Adrien, and the other handpicked Executives. And finally, the Devotee. I have even been making progress with my shielding. It’s rather like meditation. I imagine a bubble around myself, or even a box I keep thoughts secure in, memories that I don’t want stealing. I’ve only put it into practise once, managing to block a Vigore’s power for ten whole minutes. I’m preparing myself secretly for my time, and Adrien has absolutely no idea.

  ***

  Cate chauffeurs me in Beryl. Butterflies flurry in my chest at the thought of his bite. It’s a strange feeling. That my life may alter forever tonight. I have to calm myself. I’ve missed him this week, and first and foremost, just being with him is good enough.

  “You look amazing Liz… scrub up real well,” Cate says, turning onto Bridge Street.

  “Oh thanks,” I huff. “So the rest of the time I look like crap?”

  “No, of course not.” She pulls up to the curb on the one system next to The Shard. “You suit classy togs. You look like princess Cate off to meet Wills.”

  “Shut up,” I giggle, opening the door.

  “Right, while you’re being spoilt rotten, think of me finishing off that posh plonk alone.” She pecks my cheek.

  I make my way up the steps and I’m greeted by Sara. She’s wearing her office attire. Pencil skirt, blouse and jacket, and her hair French plated tightly.

  “Elizabeth.” She dips her head.

  After that hellish night, in which we both could have died, she has warmed up approximately one degree. She’s still neurotic most of the time. And very tougher when it comes to work. But we’re on more than talking terms now. I have even seen her crack a real smile every once in a while.

  I nervously inhale, waiting in the lift as she pushes the button. She glances at me with a bizarre grin, like she knows something I don’t. A sympathetic kind of smile.

  The doors part. I step out onto the decking of the balcony under the starry night. Adrien waits before a table that’s dressed in white and silver. He looks so hot in his pressed grey trousers, shiny shoes, and white shirt. I glow and warm inside as his charming smile melts my anxiety. All this for me. My favourite music playing in the background, hundreds of candles lit, and the view across the city.

  I move down a walkway of night lights. When I get to him, he lovingly pulls on my hand, and kisses me so sweetly. I breathe in his cheek and whirr. Wow, he smells divine.

  “It’s so good to see you.”

  “So this is my reward?” I pout.

  It’s always the same. One small show of affection or touch, makes me swelter. Be more modest and ladylike, I tell myself. This is a refined occasion he’s throwing for me. To passionately fling myself at him, will lower the tone.

  “You’ll be rewarded soon enough.” He pulls out a chair for me.

  I perch on the white chair cover as he takes a seat opposite. We both sit in a peculiar apprehensive hush. I watch as he twiddles with his empty glass, staring at me. He’s nervous, I’ve never seen him so fidgety. His eyes want to tell me something, but he won’t spit it out.

  He pushes out his chair and coughs. He never coughs. He’s never ill. His face is unreadable and eyes staid. He takes a bottle of wine out of the ice bucket and de-corks it. It’s so quiet, that I can hear the fabric of my dress chafing as I respire. He pours me half a glass of Cuvee Frederic Emile, as the song in the background ends. He then goes to pour himself a glass, but the bottle catches my drink and knocks it across the white tablecloth.

  “Dammit!” He fumbles with a napkin, trying to mop it up.

  I grab his hand in an effort to un-ruffle him. He’s gone from suave to frantic in minutes. The next songs first cords echo in the night air. He slips his hand out from mine, and gazes down sincerely.

  “Dance with me,” he asks. “Now or never.”

  I sigh, taking his hand, preparing myself for the moment.

  He holds me close with his hand pressed against my tailbone. I prop my head just below his shoulder, and watch our fingers entwining. He leads and we sway to the beat rhythmi
cally, left to right. His breath tussles in my hair as I close my eyes, loving every step we make as we dance in this sea of flame. I would dance like this forever. But strangely he stops moving, and draws away from me.

  “You look stunning, Elizabeth.” He sweeps his fingers up to embrace my neck. “There was a reason I had to go away.” He removes his touch. “I’ve been to see The Order.”

  I frown. I don’t know what to say. I’m confused as to why he had to go a see The Order about turning me. He didn’t need permission to turn Dom, or Sara. This is the most personal, and biggest decision I have ever had to make. I don’t want him to tell me now it is forbidden.

  “I’m ready Adrien,” I murmur. “I have been for a long time.”

  He reaches into his inside jacket pocket. “I have requested that my position be given to another,” he huffs. “I won’t see you put in danger because of it.”

  My brow creases. “And they’re okay with that. I mean you do a good job here, why would they let you go?”

  “Elizabeth, please don’t question me,” he says firmly. “It’s not a good time to get all enquiring about this.”

  What is he doing with that small black box, fiddling with it in his hand? Oh my, it’s a ring box. I lift my hand and cover my mouth. I never in a million years expected this. Is it normal that I was okay with being turned into a Vampire, and now I’m losing my head over a tiny box? He moves closer, modestly peering down as he takes my hand away from my mouth.

  “I choose you over everything.” He opens the box, but I cannot look. “We belong together, and have done in all lives, this life, and future lives.” He gulps, glancing down at a gorgeous platinum solitaire diamond ring. “We are how we should be Elizabeth, and we don’t need to change a thing.” He rolls his shoulders back with his resolute view locked onto me. “I love you Elizabeth Lovell… Marry me?”

  Oh god, I can’t believe this is happening. There are fireworks going off in my chest right now. I want to laugh and cry, dance and leap joyfully, all while hyperventilating. He’s waiting for me, but I’m gobsmacked. I know my answer without even thinking about it, but the words won’t come out and I begin to quiver. He traces his fingers through my hair, and places his lips on mine.