Dirty Cowboy

by Alycia Taylor

I woke up the next morning still glowing from the night. Before I was fully awake I told myself not to be disappointed if he was gone. What we had wasn’t a relationship…it was really, really hot sex. I honestly expected Paul to be gone. I peeked open one eye and saw him next to me. He had his back to me and I slid my arm down across his chest and wriggled my body up against his back. I found his warm neck and kissed it.

  He reached up and covered the hand that was on his chest with one of his and rolled over toward me. He still had his eyes closed, but he was smiling and I was already craving his lips. I pressed mine to his and he kissed me back. It was morning breath of the sexiest kind. He pulled open his eyes, then, and looked at me.

  “Hey,” he said in that sexy, throaty voice.

  “Hey.”

  He reached down and pat his belly with one hand. “You fed me too much last night.”

  “I tried to work it off you,” I said with a smile.

  “Mm, yes you did,” he said. “But…I have to lose seven pounds before the weigh-in for the fight, so you can’t cook anything else for me before that.”

  “Okay, but don’t forget to eat healthy. If you starve yourself, you’re starving that much-needed muscle too.”

  “Spoken like a true trainer,” he said with a smile.

  “Or just someone who really likes the muscle,” I said.

  “You can help me work off the seven pounds, just to make sure it’s all fat and no muscle…if you find the time.”

  “That would be my pleasure,” I said. “I am quite the trainer, you know.”

  “Oh I know,” he said in a low voice that gave me butterflies in my belly. “Sexiest damned trainer I ever had.” He kissed me again. This one more passionate than the last and for some reason my brain chose that very second to remind me that my mother was on her way. Ugh!

  When we broke the kiss I said, “My mother will be here soon.”

  He smiled and then suddenly pulled his head up and looked at me and said, “Really?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. She needs a place to stay for a while. She’ll be here sometime this morning.”

  “Oh,” he said. He lay back, but I could feel that his body wasn’t nearly as relaxed as it had been before; he finally said, “Shoot! I really should get going. I’m supposed to train with Sam this morning.”

  I knew he hadn’t just suddenly remembered his appointment with Sam. I knew it was more because he was in no way ready to meet my mother. I was perfectly okay with that. Had she been a “normal” mother, it would have been too soon…but with my mother, I definitely wanted to wait a while.

  “Okay,” I said, kissing his chest. I lifted my head so he could sit up.

  He looked around the room and said, “Are our clothes still in the kitchen?”

  I laughed but I felt warm all over when I remembered us taking them off. “Yeah,” I told him. He turned to face me and kissed me again, hard that time. It was like he was trying to give me one that would last. Then he said, “I’m going to take off after I get dressed. Lock the chain on the door when I leave.”

  “Okay.” Once again it warmed my heart to know that he cared.

  I got up after he left and showered. I was still lost in the afterglow of the previous night and couldn’t focus on much else so I was moving kind of slow. I got a text from my mother telling me her bus would be in at ten a.m. I got that knot back in the pit of my stomach that never went away when she went around. I was always waiting to see what she was going to do next. It was rarely ever good. I finished dressing and went out to clean up the apartment. It wasn’t ever too messy with just me there, but I picked up my clothes from the previous night out of the kitchen floor and as I did a chill ran over me as I remembered the way he kissed me…and the way his hands felt on my body when he leaned me up against the counter. I had to shake that off or I’d have never gotten anything done. I finished straightening up the kitchen and went in to make sure the extra room was all set up for my mother. I changed the sheets although they weren’t really even slept on; it was the hostess in me I guessed. Then thinking about all the sweat and sex, I changed mine while I was at it. I dumped all the dirty stuff in the washer that I was still so happy was working. I looked around, everything looked good. I looked at the clock, it was time. With a heavy sigh I grabbed my purse and went to pick up my mother.

  I felt bad that I so didn’t want her to come, but I guessed as long as she didn’t know it that was okay. I timed my trip perfectly; when I pulled up, her bus was just pulling into the depot. I got out and waited until I saw her step off and then I went over to help her with her bags. My mother was beautiful, and sometimes I thought that was to her detriment. Her red hair was still as red as ever without so much as a trace of gray. She wore it to her shoulders and the soft layers framed her face. I had to thank her for the hair, at least. Her green eyes were the same color as mine, but hers were huge and the first thing anyone ever noticed about her. Her skin was still smooth and other than a few tiny little lines around her eyes, she seemed to never age. She took care of her body and a few of her “boyfriends” had even paid for things like breast enlargement and tummy tucks before they dumped her. Her looks was what attracted them one right after the other, but her being able to hang on to them was another story.

  “Hi, Mom.”

  “Hi, baby girl!” She only called me that when she wanted something…or was for the moment grateful that I was going to let her stay with me. We waited for her bags to come off the bus and then while she carried her small overnight bag, I struggled with the roller bag and the suitcase. We tucked them all into the trunk and got into the car.

  As I started it I said, “So how was the bus trip?”

  “Not too bad,” she said. “I really need a car. I mean, I was only an hour away but I had to take a stupid, dirty bus to get here.” I tried not to roll my eyes. I often thought that if these sorts of things really bothered her all that bad, she’d get a job and start taking care of herself. As I was pulling out of the parking lot she said, “I can’t believe Tyler did this to me. I thought he was the one…I really did.”

  Tyler was twenty-seven years old to my mother’s forty-five. He was a singer in a band that played the seediest bars in Los Angeles. He hung out with a rough crowd and he had at least three kids that my mother knew of that he had fathered out of wedlock. Wow, I thought, sarcastically, I couldn’t believe she’d let that one get away.

  I was trying not to say anything, but I really wanted to help make her feel better about it so I said, “You’re probably better off.”

  “Better off?” she said in that high-pitched voice she used when she thought I was completely wrong about something. “How could I be better off? I have to move in with my daughter. I had a home and I thought he and I were going to be a family…” I sighed. She acted like losing a piece of shit drunk that cared nothing about her and cheated on her to boot was the end of the world. It was the dramatic component of it all that drove me crazy. She set herself up for these things…sometimes I thought, just because she was unable to live without the drama. Since I’d moved out on my own, I had lived as drama-free as possible because of it…until recently, anyways. I glanced over at her. I was sorry I did. She was tearing up as she said, “I think he cheated on me.”

  “Hmm,” I hoped that sounded sympathetic.

  “I don’t think it’s the first time. He says he’s playing sometimes and when I show up at the bar, he’s not there, or he sneaks out from the back right before some little skank comes skulking out. Why? Tell me why he would want to be with that trash when he has all this waiting for him at home.” She actually held her arms out when she said, “All this.” She was really something.

  “Mmm,” I said.

  “I think I’m just too good to them. I give them everything they want…whenever they want it…however they want it, if you know what I mean…” I did, and now I was nauseated. I kept silent. That one didn’t even call for a sound. She didn’t mention what they had all done for her. �
��They take it all and then they leave me…they all leave me in the end…”

  Finally I said, “That’s too bad, Mom.” She continued to ramble on for a while. It was all “woe is me.” She acted like everything that happened to her was someone else’s fault. The universe was out to hurt her…she never took responsibility for doing anything wrong…it’s the way she’d always been. I should thank her…it made me go the opposite direction. I took responsibility for everything, even things that I shouldn’t. I was relieved when my apartment complex came into view. I was fed up with listening to her broken record.

  We pulled up in my spot in the lot and she proved she wasn’t done annoying me by saying, “Justin called me last night. He really wants you to call him.”

  “No! Damn it, Mom. Why are you even still taking his calls? You said you’re not buying from him any longer…a recovering addict does not need a dealer on speed dial, and I do not want to talk to him.”

  “I don’t like the way you throw around that word…addict. But anyways, he misses you, baby. I feel sorry for him. He’s not trying to sell me anything. He just needs someone to talk to. He’s all alone…you’re alone…”

  “I’d rather be alone than with a man like that. God, Mom! You of all people know what I went through with him.” I got out and started taking her luggage out of the car. She came around to help and said, “Do you have someone else, honey? Is that why you won’t at least call him?”

  “No, I don’t have anyone, but that’s not the point anyways. I do not want Justin and I’m just appalled that any mother on this earth would try and force her daughter into a relationship with a drug dealer. Even being his friend would be too much and you know it.” I grabbed the bags and headed for the apartment. She followed me and when we were inside I dropped them and she said, “I just hate to see you alone, honey. You’re so pretty. You should have a man around to appreciate you…while you’re still young.”

  “I don’t need a man in my life to define who I am, Mother. I’m happy and I don’t feel lonely. I have a good life and lots of friends. None of whom deal drugs. I have to go to work. The room is all ready for you. Help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen; I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “Maybe you could just call Justin and say hello. You don’t have to go out with him or anything if you’re with someone else….” I closed the door behind me, cutting her off. She’d been in my presence for less than an hour and I already wanted to kill her or myself. I wasn’t sure which. It was probably good that I didn’t have a weapon right at that second, or we may have found out.

  I left her with her things in her new room and I headed for work. I was thankful that it was the one place that I could get some peace.

  *******

  I walked into my “peaceful place” just in time to see Paul throwing a right hook at Mark. I was shocked for a few seconds, wondering if it was a sparring match and maybe it had just gotten out of hand. I saw Mark dodge it and throw one back. It almost connected with Paul’s jaw and the look in Paul’s eyes as they focused on Mark’s face told me they weren’t playing. I looked at Victoria who was standing behind the counter. She had a helpless, horrified look on her face. “I didn’t know what to do; they just hooked up all of a sudden.”

  “Where the hell is everyone?”

  “Greg’s in the back. Sam and Jeff aren’t here.”

  The other gym patrons were watching as if it was an MMA match. Three or four other grown-ass muscled-up men and no one was trying to stop it. Idiots! I went over and called out to Paul. He didn’t answer me, being as he was too busy taking an upper-cut to his chin. So I tried Mark who was also otherwise occupied. Finally I just stepped between them and nearly took Paul’s fist to my gut. Thank God for his quick reflexes. His face was bleeding and he’d worked up a sweat. I could hear Mark panting behind me and talking shit. “Damn it, Jessie! I almost hit you!” Suddenly I was the one being stupid. Men!

  “What the hell is going on?” I asked him. Paul didn’t answer me. He wiped at the blood on his face with the back of his hand and continued to glare at Mark. Making sure I stayed between them I turned and looked at Mark. “You want to tell me what the hell this is about?” He chose the silent glare as well. “Okay, fine. Mark, you go home. You’ve had your work-out. You can come back tomorrow when you’ve cooled down. This is only going to keep going if you stay here and someone is going to get hurt or in a lot of trouble.”

  “Why do I have to leave? He started it!”

  “I wouldn’t have if you didn’t have such a big-fucking mouth!” Paul said. They tried to go at each other again and I pushed on Paul’s chest with all my might. He was so fucking solid that it was like pushing against a wall. I finally succeeded in pushing him a step back.

  Then as I kept my back against him so I could feel if he moved, I turned back to Mark and said, “Go, home, Mark. Now! Otherwise I’ll get Greg to deal with this and you’ll both lose your privileges altogether. You know he won’t tolerate this shit. Come back tomorrow in a better mind-set and we’ll forget this happened.”

  Mark mumbled under his breath but I watched as he picked up his towel and his water and got his bag and left. I turned back to Paul who still hadn’t stopped glaring at him. He was even staring him down through the glass window as Mark go into his car. I shook my head and said, “In the office, now.” He started to argue but the look on my face must have told him I was serious. He headed for the office and I followed him. I thought this must be what it was like to be the principal at a boys’ school. Way too much testosterone. Victoria handed me the first aid kit as we walked past. I thanked her and followed Paul into the office and closed the door behind us.

  “What the hell was that about?”

  “Nothing,” he said. He looked like an insolent child. I opened the first aid kit and found some sterile gauze. I opened the package and poured saline from the bottle in the kit on it. Then I pressed it to the cut on his cheek. He winced. I held it there until it stopped bleeding and then while I was cleaning up the dried blood I tried again.

  “I thought you and Mark were friendly?” He shrugged, still like a pouting child. “What did he say that pissed you off so much?” He shrugged again. I sighed and pat his face dry with clean gauze before applying a butterfly bandage to close the cut. “I don’t think it needs stitches.” I dropped down into the seat next to him and said, “Please talk to me.”

  “He’s just an idiot sometimes. I guess I shouldn’t have gotten so mad.”

  “You think? You can’t just punch people for pissing you off.”

  He rolled his eyes and said, “I know that. I was just a little stressed out already and he started saying things about…”

  “About what?”

  “Nothing, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have hit him although I think he deserved it.”

  “Tell me what he said.” I wanted to understand if this was just an anger management problem or if Mark had really gone too far.

  “He was just talking stupid shit about…he said something about ‘tapping’ your ‘sweet ass.’”

  “Me?” I was truly shocked. Mark rarely made lewd comments to me. He was usually one of the more respectful clients.

  “Yeah. He said that he noticed we were spending a lot of time together and that when I got to “tap it” if I hadn’t already, I should let him know how it was; if it would be worth his time pursuing it. Fucking moron.”

  “Wow that surprises me. Thank you for defending me, but truly, you shouldn’t have punched the guy.”

  He sighed and with a genuinely remorseful look he said, “I know.”

  “Is it all the stress with Marie and Mitch?” I was hoping that’s what it was. I hoped that he didn’t have a legitimate anger problem.

  “Yeah, that and trying to still concentrate on what I need to do in order to win this championship title and you coming into my life….”

  “Me? I’m causing you stress?” I was a little offended by that. I hadn’t put any ki
nd of pressure on him at all as far as I was concerned. I had even helped him with his sister.

  “Yeah, I mean…it’s hard to explain but I don’t usually talk to people about my life and how I’m feeling or what’s going on with my sister, things like that. For some reason I feel comfortable sharing all of that with you and sometimes I worry that I’m sharing too much.”

  “I’m not going to tell anyone what you tell me, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I was still a little insulted, but it was nice to know he felt comfortable with me.

  “I know. I don’t think you would…I’m sorry. It’s just new and that’s where the stress is coming from.”

  I took his hands in mine and leaned toward him. “Don’t let me add to your stress, okay? Just trust that anything you tell me will be kept in confidence and I will never judge you.”

  He leaned in too and kissed me. I loved the way his lips felt on mine. They were so soft, yet something about them was powerful as well. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. He looked like he was going to kiss me again but his phone rang. He looked at the face and then put it to his ear and said, “Hello?” He listened for a few seconds and then said, “Calm down…I can’t really understand you.” He pulled his eyebrows together in the middle and I could see that he was worried by whatever the caller was telling him. “Okay, it’s going to be okay.” His words were reassuring but there was an undertone of panic in them. “I’ll be right there. Stay there.” He hung up the phone and said, “I have to go, Jessie. We’ll talk later.” I watched him open the door and leave. I had no idea what was going on, but I hoped that everything would turn out all right.

  Chapter Seven

  I hung out at the gym helping Greg out with his clients and doing some office stuff for a few more hours after Paul left. I kept hoping he’d take care of whatever was going on and come back. I just wanted to know that everything was okay. I called him about an hour after he left but he didn’t answer. I didn’t leave a message. I called him again after two hours and this time when voice mail kicked in I said, “Hey, I’m not trying to be intrusive, just worried. Call me please.”