Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel

by Marissa Dobson

  “Syd.” While she was unconscious, Coal had lifted her onto the kitchen counter, so as she came to she was lying looking up at the ceiling, a cool rag pressed to her forehead. His brows were knitted together in concern as he stared down at her. “Easy, baby.”

  “My dramatic sister. Why the hell did I even come back for you?” Jay’s voice seemed far away.

  “I never asked you to.” Unable to lie on the counter and not face her brother, she started to rise but every muscle in her body felt weak. “Help me sit up?”

  “Just to sit. I don’t want you getting up yet.” Coal wrapped his arm around her shoulder and eased her forward. “Just stay up there, okay?”

  With a nod, she glanced toward where she heard the voice and found Jay leaning against the wall into the kitchen, the gun still pointed in their general direction, but not at either of them. “You know what, Jay? I’m done. I’m done with the drama, I’m done questioning if I could ever do what you’ve done, I’m done with the fear of your enemies. I’m just done with it all. When you went to jail I was terrified, but Coal came and saved me from the dangers you left me in the middle of.”

  “Yeah, I see he’s moved in where he was never wanted.” Jay straightened, coming off the wall. “Don’t worry about them, I’ve taken care of it. Their money was never taken by the police; they have it. You’re not in danger from them anymore, but you’re in danger from him.”

  “I doubt that.” She put her hand over Coal’s that was lying on the counter next to her hip.

  “Did you even hear me? He tried to kill Tim. He would have if that cop hadn’t been there to stop him!” Jay screamed.

  “I know.” She squeezed his hand. “He told me.”

  “And you still let him fuck you?”

  Fucking wasn’t the right word but she let it go because it would only make the situation worse. “Tim got behind the wheel stoned out of his mind, his blood-alcohol level more than twice the legal limit, and plowed into two cars. Two cars that carried people I loved! Mom and Mr. and Mrs. Tanner were killed because of his actions. Mom and Mrs. Tanner suffered extreme pain before their bodies gave in to their injuries. Cain…he’ll always have to deal with what happened that night.”

  “Fuck him. Fuck them. Tim’s in prison, on death row—”

  “For his own actions.” She refused to allow Jay to make Tim out to be the victim in the whole mess. “He killed our mother! How can you have more sympathy for him being in prison than for that fact he stole her life?”

  “That whore deserved it!”

  She shrugged off Coal’s embrace and hopped down from the counter. Forgetting the gun, she stalked toward him. “What did you just call her?”

  “Your mother was a whore. Didn’t you ever wonder why Dad couldn’t even look at you? He never showed any emotion except hatred and disgust toward you.”

  “Don’t.” There was a warning within Coal’s tone as he came up behind her but she didn’t turn around to question him before Jay finished his thought, making her stomach churn.

  “You’re not his fucking daughter. Your whore of a mother had an affair; she wanted to leave Dad for him but Dad put an end to that. A bloody end to it.”

  The door busted open and in the blink of an eye, Coal pulled her back, forcing her behind the L-shaped counter and on to her knees. “Get down, baby.” If it wasn’t for him forcing her to move, she’d still be standing next to Jay, dumbfounded over his announcement.

  “Drop the gun! It’s over, Jayden.”

  Gunshots rang out and tears seeped from her eyes as she leaned into Coal’s embrace. Oh god. Please Jay, put the gun down before you get yourself killed.

  Even with a blanket wrapped around Sydney’s shoulders, she couldn’t shake the chill that rocked her body. When would she get off this rollercoaster ride and have life settle down into a smooth ride again? The last few weeks had been nothing but a horrible ride of ups and downs. The only positive thing that came out of the whole thing was Coal. She pulled the blanket tight around her shoulders and tried to breathe through the flood of memories of her childhood with Jay. Her big brother had always let her hang around him and he put up with her shit; yet, when he’d told her about their mother’s affair, he’d stared at her like he didn’t even know who she was. They were family, maybe only half-siblings now, but the divide his words caused within her was something she wasn’t sure she’d overcome quickly.

  “Coal?” A voice hollered from the hallway before others tried to get him to move back. “Get the fuck off me!”

  The voice was familiar yet different, making her turn around to see who it was. Fighting against the officers stood a man a head taller than everyone else, his broad shoulders and thick corded muscles strained against the leather of his jacket. His gaze landed on hers and in an instant, she recognized him.

  “Coal!” She didn’t bother waiting for him to come out of the bedroom where he was speaking with Chief Kingsworth; instead, she rushed toward the commotion at the door. “Get off him.”

  “This is a crime scene.” An officer reached for his cuffs. “Either back up or I’ll have to arrest you.”

  “He’s family.” She stepped between him and the police. “Now I’m sure you have something better to do than arrest someone who’s only here to find out if we’re safe.”

  “You know who I am?” His voice held a hit of surprise as she turned to face him.

  “I could never forget you, Cain.” She reached out and placed her hand on his chest. “Coal’s okay. He’s speaking with Chief Kingsworth.”

  “I was more worried about you.” He stood there, his body tight, but he didn’t make her remove her hand. “Jay wanted you dead, not Coal.”

  “I’m not going to ask you again. You need to leave now.” The officer reached out to put his hand on Cain.

  “Don’t fucking touch me.” His gaze narrowed at the officer as Cain put his arm around her waist and pulled her to his side so she was no longer standing between him and the officer.

  She waited for the violence that appeared to be imminent. She’d witnessed Cain’s temper before and she knew that stepping between them could get her hurt. Wondering what was taking Coal so long, she glanced toward the bedroom door just in time to see him strolling toward her, Chief Kingsworth a step behind.

  “Get away from my brother!”

  “This is a crime scene.” The officer took his gaze from Cain for a moment to look back at Coal and when he spotted his boss, his back straightened, waiting for orders. “Sir, he’s—”

  “He’s leaving.” Coal made his way toward them, their overnight bag slung over his shoulder. “Come on, Cain. The hotel manager has arranged for us to have a suite. We’ll go downstairs and let these officers do their work.”

  “I just want to go home.” She relaxed as Coal’s arm slipped around her shoulders.

  “Downstairs first and then we’ll go anywhere you want.” Without giving them a chance to argue, he ushered them toward the elevator. When the doors slid shut, he turned to his brother. “What are you doing here, Cain?”

  “I followed Jay but when we got into the city, I lost him. I figured he’d come here first but I couldn’t find him so I went to check things out. I overheard the police radio and realized he’d slipped past me so I came to help.” Cain stood in the back of the elevator, pressed against the corner, his gaze on the door and every muscle in his body tight.

  “Thank you,” she whispered, wanting to ease his discomfort.

  “I should have arrived earlier. I should have waited here…waited for him to make his move.”

  They stepped off the elevator and as Coal made his way to the room that was theirs, she paused and waited for Cain. She placed her hand on his arm and as the elevator doors to shut behind them she met his gaze. “Thank you.”

  “What?” He looked down at her and she took in the man before her.

  His long, light brown hair hid the scars that ran along his left side. They started near his ear and covered his arm and
also his chest before disappearing into the waistband of his jeans. She remembered when she’d first seen him lying in the hospital bed, half of his body covered in white gauze to protect his burns. Her heart had broken knowing that he’d gotten them while trying to save her mother. Now, he had risked himself again to save her.

  “For coming after us.” She watched him for a moment, truly expecting him to brush her off, but when he remained silent, she explained. “I know you don’t take part in the business, at least not publicly, because of what happened. You stay hidden in your cabin deep in the woods of the property but tonight you left because of me. What was I thinking when I let Coal bring me home with him? I brought this to your doorstep.”

  “You were thinking about staying alive. You knew you’d be safe here and we’d protect you.” He glanced over his shoulder toward Coal. “And did you really think he was going to let you go anywhere else?”

  “Syd?” Coal held the door open. “Inside.”

  “See what I mean…protective.” Cain kept his gaze on her but she wasn’t sure what to say.

  There wasn’t a doubt in her mind Coal was protective, but he wasn’t just protective of her but also of his brothers, family, and friends. He’d witnessed so much loss in his life—they all had—that he wanted to protect everyone so none of them had to go through such ordeals again.

  “Now.”

  “Come on before you give him a stroke.” Cain nodded toward Coal but didn’t move away from the elevator doors until she did.

  “What’s the big deal? It’s safe now and we’re right here.” Even as she complained, she walked toward Coal and the hotel room that had been arranged for them.

  “We don’t know if what Jay said was the truth and until we do we’re not taking any risks.” As she approached him, Coal looped his arm around her waist and tugged her against him. “I’m not taking any chances with your safety.”

  “Then let’s go home.” She leaned into him. “We’re safe there.”

  “Soon.” He ushered her inside and toward the sofa. “Just rest for a minute. I need to speak with Cain.”

  “Don’t leave me.”

  “We’ll be right here.” He pulled the blanket that was still around her shoulders tighter. “Just lie back and rest.”

  She did as he suggested, letting the throw pillow cradle her head, but her thoughts were in too much turmoil to allow her to sleep. Now that the shock of seeing Cain had worn off, her thoughts returned to her brother. They’d rushed him off before she could see him and she wasn’t even sure he was still alive. She was only told he’d received life threatening wounds and was in grave condition. What was worse: having him in prison for the rest of his life or death? She’d have said the latter and part of her wondered if that hadn’t been what Jay had wanted when he’d opened fire on the police. I come from a family of murderers.

  Chapter Twelve

  What was supposed to be a quiet weekend away for Coal and Sydney had turned out to be full of excitement, though none of it good. He’d wanted the time alone with her to reconnect with her, to show her what she meant to him. Instead, she’d learned heartbreaking things about her mother and him. Now her brother was fighting for his life and Coal wasn’t sure how she was handling any of it. She appeared to be shell-shocked but at least she was aware of her surroundings enough to holler for him when Cain showed up.

  He tipped his head to his brother, letting him know that he wanted to speak with him alone in the adjoining bedroom. While they wouldn’t be out of earshot, it would give them enough privacy that he could determine his brother’s mindset. This was the first time in years that Cain had left the family’s property, let alone interact with others when he did. If Cain was going to have a breakdown, then Coal needed to get one of his other brothers there. Sydney needed him and he couldn’t give them both his full attention at the same time.

  Not sure where to start, he stood there for a moment, staring at his brother. The darkness in his eyes and the way he clenched his fist made Coal wonder how close the younger man was to losing it. “Did you call Cay when you left?”

  “No.” Cain didn’t take his gaze from Sydney as he answered, which made Coal uneasy.

  “She’s not responsible.” This was the conversation he didn’t want to have with Cain but he knew it had to come out at some point. If Cain resented Sydney because of what had happened, then he needed to know. He would protect her, even if it meant he had to keep her separated from his brother. In the recent past, he’d thought he’d send her on her way if Cain had a hatred for her that was so deep, it put her in danger, but now he wasn’t sure he could give her up. If it came down to choosing between his brother and Syd, he knew it wouldn’t end well. Either way, he’d lose someone he loved.

  “Yes, she is.” When Coal adjusted his weight from one foot to the other, Cain glanced at him. “But not in the way you think I mean. She’s only eighteen but she’s a responsible adult and she’s already got your heart. I can tell from the way you look at her. You love her.”

  “And how do you feel about that?” He wasn’t sure what Cain would say or even how he would handle it if his brother despised the woman he loved because of her family’s misdeeds. Would Cain be able to put behind him everything that had happened, everything he’d witnessed, and everything he had to overcome, in order to accept Sydney as part of their lives? Or would he be only setting them up for heartbreak and a deep divide between the brothers?

  “Are you asking if I have a problem with you and Sydney because her brother murdered our parents and did this to me? Or are you asking because you’re terrified I’ll go ape shit and fuck up what you have going for you?” Cain glared at Coal for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m not as fucked up as you think I am.”

  “I don’t…I just worry about you.” His brother had his issues but Coal wasn’t worried about him being a danger to himself or others.

  “Then get back to your girl. She needs you more than I do.” Cain sat down on the edge of the bed. “Shut the door; I’ll wait in here and give you some privacy. Then I’ll follow you back home.”

  “Thanks.” Coal stood there a moment before finally nodding and stepping away. “Give me a few minutes and we’ll get out of here. She wants to be back home as much as I want her there because I know she’ll be safe.”

  Without wasting another moment, he turned and headed back to the living room. Syd lay curled up in a small ball where he’d left her on the sofa. Her eyes were closed but a gentle shake of her body as she cried let him know she wasn’t asleep. He wanted to crush the person who’d made her cry and protect her from all the pain the world had to offer, but he could only do so much. The person who’d brought the tears to her eyes was her own brother, the one who might not even make it through the night, let alone face her again. The cruel world had dealt her yet another devastating blow but he’d make sure it was the last one Jay had the opportunity to deliver.

  “Syd.” He squatted next to her and took her hand in his. “Baby…”

  “I’m awake.” Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to hide from him that she had been crying. With her free hand, she wiped the tears away as she sat up. “Are you ready?”

  “Soon.” He rose to sit next to her on the sofa and pulled her into his arms. “I want to talk to you first.”

  “About what?”

  “Let’s start with why you lied to Jay. I’ve never told you about happened the night of the car accident.” He ran his hand down her arm, caressing her softly. “I would have killed Tim that night if the police officer hadn’t chosen that moment to come into his room. While I would have regretted hurting you and leaving my brothers behind, I wouldn’t have regretted my actions, at least not then. What happened would have been done in anger but he’d have…”

  “Deserved it,” she supplied when he went silent. “Just because he’s my brother…well I guess half-brother…doesn’t mean I don’t realize that. Your parents were like second parents to me. Your mom is the one who ins
pired me to stay true to myself. To not let my family force me to do something I didn’t want to do. Ever since that heart-to-heart with her, I’ve done just that.”

  “How did you know about it?” he pressed when she went off topic.

  “I was there.” She ran her hand along the front of his chest, tracing each letter of his Tanner Cycles shirt. “No one would tell me anything and I was tired of sitting around the waiting room. When the guard wasn’t looking, I was able to sneak inside Tim’s hospital room. Then I heard you coming. I didn’t know what else to do so I hid behind the curtain and waited.”

  “You heard me and knew I wanted to kill him, yet you didn’t say anything.” He stopped rubbing along her back as he waited for her to say something. “Even after all these years, you still never said anything.”

  “What was there to say?” She tipped her head up toward him. “Did you really think I would just come out and say, ‘By the way, Coal, I know you wanted to murder Tim’? Brother or not, I don’t think there was a day that went by since that night when I didn’t want him dead. His actions—but I’m the one who paid for them. He killed your parents, my mother, and Cain will always have the scars to remind him of what happened. But the greatest loss of all was when you left.”

  “Oh, baby.” He squeezed her tight against him. “We’re together now and I’m never letting you go.”

  “Cain…is he okay?” She glanced over his shoulder toward the bedroom door that he’d shut behind him. “I mean…”

  “I know what you mean and he’s fine. You talked to him yourself.”

  “But you were concerned.” She turned back to look at him, keeping her voice low. “You told me to stay away from him.”

  The best way to handle this was to be truthful, so he took hold of her hand, interlacing their fingers. “Cain went through a lot…he’s never really been the same since. Before the accident he was the most outgoing and friendly of all of us. He wanted to believe the best in people, that there was more good in the world than bad.”