Until Sydney: A Tanner Cycle Novel

by Marissa Dobson

  “He was thirteen. We’re all like that at that age.”

  “I wasn’t and neither were you. By the time I turned eight, I knew that life was fucked up. Happiness and rainbows didn’t exist in our world. It was Uncle Chester’s murder that brought that home to me.” Huddled together with Cay in his uncle’s bedroom closet, he’d wanted to bust the door down and fight for his uncle but he couldn’t get out. He’d banged on the door, screaming to get out, but the music was so loud, his uncle’s murderer couldn’t even hear. That night he hadn’t been thinking clearly, and his only excuse was that he’d been only eight years old. His decision to try to get out of the locked closet was made to try to save his uncle; yet, he wasn’t just risking his life, but the life of his brother.

  “That happened before I was born but Jay told me about it.” She scooted onto his lap, straddling him. “Always the hero. You tried to save him.”

  “I’m no hero. By the time I realized what was happening, I couldn’t have saved my uncle, but I could have gotten both Cay and me killed.” Uncle Chester had stepped into a fight the night before, saving a waitress at the bar he was a bouncer at from her abusive ex-husband whom she had a restraining order against. He’d never considered it would end with both him and the woman dead within twenty-four hours. Even if he had, he’d have still done it. That was the kind of man Uncle Chester had been.

  “You’ve always been and always will be my hero.” She looped her arms around his neck, bringing their faces close. “I love you, Coal.”

  “I love you too, and when we get home, I’m going to show you how much.” He trailed teasing fingers along the hem of the shirt she was still wearing. “First, do you want me to see if I can get you in to see Jay before we head back to Davenport?”

  He didn’t like the idea of his woman being near someone who had hurt her like he had only hours before—someone who had instilled so much fear into her. It had taken more self-control than he’d thought he possessed not to beat the fuck out of Jay when he’d pointed a gun at her. If for one moment he thought Jay would have actually shot his sister, he’d have killed the bastard where he stood, but it wasn’t in Jay. He might be a murderer but he wouldn’t kill Sydney; she was family and to him that mattered, at least a little bit.

  “Baby?” he pressed when she remained silent.

  “No.” She leaned away from him, the blanket falling off her shoulders. “I feel horrible about it but no. He might be dying but I can’t do it. I know he said he came back for me so we could leave the country but if I refused to go, he’d have killed me. Family doesn’t mean anything to him. He’d have done what he needed to do to save his own ass.”

  “I’d have never let that happen.” He reached up to tangle his fingers in her hair. “You know that, don’t you, baby?”

  “I know.” She nodded. “Maverick! Shit, I forgot. Is he…” The words died in her throat as her eyes widened.

  “It’s okay, baby. He’s okay. Shot but alive, though his attitude is pretty unpleasant from what I’ve been told. They’re keeping him in the hospital overnight for observation due to the blood loss, and Cay will pick him up in the morning.”

  “Then let’s go home and forget about this whole mess.” She slipped off his lap and rose to stand in front of the sofa.

  “Home sounds good.”

  She dropped the blanket onto the armrest and paused, her gaze not meeting his. “I mean unless you don’t want me to go back to your place…I can, um…find somewhere…”

  “Uncertainty has you questioning things.” He took hold of her hand that was hovering over the blanket. “Listen to me, Syd. I love you and want you with me always. It’s our home now. If you don’t like the apartment above the shop, we’ll build a home that is all ours on the property. I don’t care as long as I have you in my life.”

  “I just thought now that everything is over you might not want me staying with you.”

  “Fuck that.” He rose off the sofa and came to stand in front of her. “The actions of your jackass brother brought us together but there’s no way I’m letting you go now. I’ve waited too long for you.”

  “Then let’s stop waiting and start living. There’s nothing over our heads anymore. Dad and Tim are in prison, and Jay will be joining them if he survives. I’m alone now.”

  Hearing the sadness in her voice, he lopped his arm around her. “You’re never alone. You’ve got me, my brothers, Maverick, Tank, and more people than you’ve had the chance to meet yet. We’re family and you’re part of that.”

  “I’ve always had you.”

  “Yes, baby, you did; you just didn’t know it.” He slid his hand along the length of her body. “Now get some pants on so we can go home. I’ll call for the car and let Cain know we’re heading out.”

  He waited until she went to their overnight bag before he walked toward the door to the adjoining bedroom. With Sydney seeming to be doing better than she had been, he needed to shift his attention to his brother for a moment. Cain could tell him anything he wanted but was it the truth? He wasn’t sure. Only time would tell. At least, once they were back at the family’s compound, he could rely on Cay to help watch over Cain. The next few days or even weeks would be a great indicator of how Cain would accept Sydney into their lives. While their interactions so far had been positive, he wasn’t completely convinced that her presence wouldn’t bring back memories of the car accident or the days following the horrific events. He could only hope that one day his brother would find the love that he had with Syd and he’d be able to put the past behind him, once and for all.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The romantic weekend Coal had planned to spend with Sydney hadn’t worked out and even once they arrived back home, it proved impossible for them to sit around and do nothing. Without news of her brother’s condition, Syd was restless but she refused to allow him to inquire about his status. They’d wait until Chief Kingsworth or one of the others called her with an update. It had been less than twelve hours since the incident and she didn’t want to pester them. Trying to get her mind off things, they sat in his office working. She was still reorganizing the books to her liking and he was trying to focus on the orders in front of him.

  “Let’s get out of here.”

  “Huh?” Without looking up at him, she reached up to grab the pen she’d stuck in her ponytail.

  “We need to go shopping.” He shut the lid to his laptop and set it aside. “Shuffling back and forth between the desk and sofa isn’t working. If we’re going to work together and share this office, then we need to refurnish it. I could have the guys clean out the other office but I’d rather keep you close by.”

  “Afraid someone else will steal me away?” She glanced up at him as her fingers pounded away at the keyboard. “You know I might just get a better offer and take them up on it.”

  “A better offer than me? I doubt that.” He shot her a cocky grin. “Seriously, Syd.”

  “So you want this long term? I mean me working with you…for you.”

  “Do you have another tempting offer?” He rose from the sofa and went to lean against the desk next to her.

  “Maybe.” She leaned back in the leather office chair, watching him with a playful gleam in her eyes. “After all, who wants to work for a workaholic?”

  “Pot meet kettle.”

  “Huh?” Her eyebrows knitted together.

  “Since you arrived, you’ve been as much of a workaholic as I am and don’t give me that shit about you not having anything else to do.”

  “Have you seen the state of your books?” She reached forward, grabbing the paper copy of his books. “Who keeps physical copies like this? I feel like I’ve fallen into the nineties again where people didn’t trust computers. Your life would have been less complicated if you’d have set it up properly using an accounting program to begin with. It would make calculations for you, giving you everything you need without all the work.”

  “Simple for you but that system and I have had
our issues, until I threw in the towel. Old people like me don’t get along as well with computers as you younglings.” He winked at her. “That’s why I need you.” Hell, even if she hadn’t made running Tanner Cycles easier, it wouldn’t change things. He wanted her in every way.

  “You’re not old and you could do it with training. I took an accounting class in my last year of high school, which is why I know this program, so don’t give me that old crap.”

  “Testy baby? Come here, let me relieve your stress.” He hooked his foot on the bottom of the chair and scooted her closer to him. “I was planning on waiting to have you on the desk until after we got new furniture, but I think it would be a fitting way to send this one off.”

  “Yeah, I’m testy when you bring up our age difference. It reminds me of what Jay said.” She rose out of the chair before she pushed it away so she was standing in front of him, not yet touching, but close enough that if either of them moved, they’d brush against one another. “When I look at you, I don’t see an age difference. To me you’re just the man I love; age never comes into play. Do others look at us and see an age difference? Do they think I’m only with you because you’re rich? Because, like age, money has never played into it. You know that, right?”

  “Syd.” He reached out and placed his hands on her hips, his thumb teasing under the hem of her shirt until he was touching skin. “I know, baby. My comment about age was senseless and I apologize. Your age played a part in me wanting to deny my attraction to you. I wanted you to have everything you wanted and besides being a workaholic, I’m set in my ways. But now I don’t think of an age difference; you are my girl. Young and beautiful or old and gray, you’ll always be my girl.”

  “Gray!” Her mouth dropped open as if she was stunned but a glint of amusement danced in her eyes.

  “One day far in the future you will have gray hair but it will happen long after it happens to me. Hell, I’m sure, if you look closely, you’ll see my brothers have already given me some.”

  “You avoided part of my question. Do you think people look at us and only see the age difference or think I’m only with you for your money?” The look in her eyes warned him she wasn’t going to give up until she got an answer. Even if she heard what she feared, she’d rather he gave an honest answer instead of sidestepping the question altogether.

  “Fuck everyone else. We’re happy and that’s what matters.” He pulled her closer to him. “There’s always going to be some asshole with a comment. Someone who doesn’t want others to be happy because they’re miserable. But we’re not going to let that divide us. Are we?”

  “What about Cay and Cal? Are they okay with it? Cain seemed so but is he, really? Cyrus came around so I’m not worried about him. What about the rest of the people who mean something to you? Tank? Maverick? Hell, Maverick could have been killed if Jay hadn’t been preoccupied that night, and it’s all because of me.”

  “No, Syd. Maverick was shot because Jay knew he would stop him from gaining access to you and the authorities would be notified. He didn’t want to end up back behind bars, looking at life in prison. Now he’s only made things worse for himself. He added multiple charges, including attempted murder on a police officer. The judge is going to throw the book at him.”

  “If he survives.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she leaned into his chest.

  “Do you want to call to find out about his status?” he offered again so she knew that the offer was still on the table.

  “I don’t want to see him.”

  “But you want to know if he’s okay.” He nodded, reading between the lines. “How about this: while you get ready for our shopping trip, I’ll make the call. Give me ten minutes and we’ll go.”

  “Shopping.” She grinned. “Okay, but before we send this desk off, I want you to make love to me on it. Seems only fitting since this is where I captured your heart. Then, once the new ones arrive, we’ll have to do it all over again to make sure I keep your heart.”

  “Syd, my sweet girl, my heart has and will always belong to you.” He pressed his lips to hers in a quick kiss because if he did anything more, he’d have her naked on the desk and their shopping trip would be forgotten. “Now go on before I forget our plans and get you naked, screaming my name before you can even blink.”

  “That sounds like an even better way to spend the afternoon.” Her words didn’t match her actions as she stepped back from him and headed for the stairs. “This shopping trip better be more exciting than getting fucked on the desk; otherwise, you might end up with blue balls tonight.”

  “I’ll make the wait worth it.” He sat down in the leather office chair she’d vacated only moments before and reached for the phone. He waited until he heard her reach the top of the stairs before he turned his attention to the phone in his hand and called Chief Kingsworth. While Jay wasn’t in the Davenports Police custody any longer, Chief Kingsworth would know who to contact to determine his status.

  Jay was an asshole and his will to live was strong; it had to be since he’d risked so much to break out of jail. He only hoped for Sydney’s sake that his will to live was still there. It would be better for her to be able to see her brother in prison, with the rest of her family, than in a wooden box six feet under. In prison she could make her peace with him; if he was dead she’d never find closure.

  The shopping trip was unlike any others Sydney had gone on before. It hadn’t been enough for Coal to just purchase furniture; he had forced her to shop for herself. Her thoughts had been filled with questions about Jay; though Coal had tried, they hadn’t been able to get an update on his condition, so they were waiting for someone to call them back. To get her mind off things, he had forced her to go clothes shopping. While she hadn’t been in the mood to look for outfits, she found it to be the perfect distraction.

  As they loaded the last of the bags into the back of his SUV, his words played through her thoughts again. ‘You’re my assistant now; you need clothes that fit your new position. As much as I love the way your jeans hug your curves like a second skin, you’ll need dresses and business suits. If I must play the part, then so do you. There’s a fundraiser coming up in two weeks and I want you on my arm. We’ll find you something elegant and sexy. Every head will turn when you walk into the room. Everyone will be envious you’re mine.’

  She waited until they were back in the SUV, with Coal driving them home before she turned to him. “What did you mean earlier when you said if you have to play the part so do I? Don’t you like the work you do?”

  “I love Tanner Cycles almost as much as I love being on my bike. It’s just the business side of things I hadn’t completely understood when I was getting involved in this. The jeans and t-shirts I prefer have to be replaced with business suits, or worse, tuxedos. I miss working in the shop next to my brothers every day but more than that, I miss taking off on my bike whenever I feel the need.”

  “Why don’t you? I mean I understand business gets in the way and you’re a workaholic so you don’t know when to quit, but surely you could find a balance. I can’t do anything about the suits and tuxedos. After all, I did see your schedule and the commitments you have on the books are numerous. But let me handle more of the office stuff and you could get down there with your brothers once in a while. As for taking a ride on your bike, I’ve been asking you. It’s been too long since I’ve been on the back of a motorcycle. I miss the way the wind slides over my body and the freedom.”

  “There are a few hours of daylight left. Let’s get home and go for a short ride. After spending hours shopping, it will be the perfect way to end the day.” He accelerated, passing a slower car that was in the way.

  “What about the other part? You know I could handle the office work and you could work in the shop. That’s why you started Tanner Cycles in the first place, so why not get back to your roots? It’s not like I’m any help down there. I don’t know anything about bikes. Hell, I barely know how to change a tire on a car.”


  “What was that you said earlier?” He glanced at her before turning back to the road. “That’s right, it’s teachable. I could teach you anything you want to know about a bike and most things about a car, but for older models you might need to spend some time with Cyrus. He’s into restoring old cars and has the patience for it. I don’t; I’d rather spend my time doing other things, like making love to you.”

  “We better get back to the house. I want to make love on the desk before we tear the office apart for the new furniture arrival tomorrow.” She reached over to place her hand on his thigh. “The office is going to be first class but are you sure either of us is going to get any work done sharing that space? Maybe we should clean out the space you previously used for your assistants. I’m sure we could put the parts stored in there somewhere else.”

  “Are you trying to get away from me?” His voice was strained as his gaze stayed focused on the road.

  “Never.” She squeezed his thigh. “I like the idea of our desks being across from each other and every time I look up, I’ll see you there across from me. I think that’s the best view any girl could ask for.”

  “Plus, I thought you were trying to convince me to get into the shop more. Which means you’d have the office to yourself sometimes anyways.”

  “If that’s what you enjoy then why not? I can handle the office—placing orders, accounting, scheduling, and everything else. Now that I’m getting the books just as I want them, there’s no way I’m letting you anywhere near them.” A semi truck passed next to them, making her look up at it. There was nothing different about it but for some reason it caught her attention. Growing up, Jay had always said he was going to be a trucker, because he wanted to see the country and that was the only way to do it. Before he came to Minnesota after her, he hadn’t even left the state of Pennsylvania except to travel to Ohio on rare occasions when drugs needed to be transferred. Was he still in Minnesota? She wasn’t sure but suspected he would be because of his grave condition.