by Ivy Smoak
"I've always wondered what public sex would be like," said Chastity wistfully.
"I'd prefer the group sex," said Madison. She immediately clasped her hand over her mouth and giggled.
She's definitely drunk. As far as I was concerned, both sounded hot. Wait, what? I meant horrifying. I tried to think about where they would rank on my list of fears, but I couldn't seem to remember. I just kept thinking about the fact that it was pretty obvious my doctor’s visit was 100% not a wish. I’m a sexual deviant.
HARD LIMITS
23) The Member will respect all of the following hard limits:
23a) No acts involving fisting
23b) No acts involving human waste
23c) No acts involving extreme choking
23d) No acts involving burning
23e) No acts involving electrocution
23f) No acts involving cutting
23g) No acts that leave a permanent mark
23h) No acts of pedophilia
23i) No acts of bestiality
23j) No acts of necrophilia
24) The Member will not use or accept payments in real currency while interacting with other members during a wish.
24.1) If the Member makes payments to other members during wishes, she will do so using Society-issued credit cards or monopoly money.
I giggled. "Monopoly money. If I'm gonna be a whore, I hope I'll at least be worth more than a hotel stay on Park Place." I pictured my stalker all dressed up like Uncle Pennybags, complete with the top hat and mustache. Somehow It wasn’t an awful look for him.
"And you won't even have to fuck any horses or dead bodies," added Madison. "This is sounding better by the minute."
PRIVACY
25) Many wishes involve voyeurism and public sex. To facilitate these wishes, the Society often rents public spaces. The Member will stay within the confines of the wish to avoid disturbing the public.
26) During wishes, the Member will wear something black on her left wrist. It can be anything - a watch, a leather bracelet, a delicate chain - as long as it is black and worn on the left wrist.
"Damn it," I said. "Why didn't I read this before I raped Dr. Lyons? He definitely wasn't wearing anything on his wrists."
"Shhhh," Madison hissed. "I'm not done reading yet."
27) If police are part of a wish, they will always show up with both a black wristband and a special badge with the Society logo in the center.
28) If real police show up, the Member will cooperate with their instructions but not give them any information.
28.1) Under those circumstances, the Society guarantees that the Member will be free to go within an hour with no permanent record.
29) It is possible that the Member may encounter other members during her wishes that she knows outside of the Society. In such a situation, both members will stay in character. The encounter will never be spoken of outside of Society functions.
30) During wishes, the Member’s cell phone will automatically switch to "Society Mode." This mode will:
30a) Block most apps.
30b) Change the Member's contacts list as necessary (i.e. add the plumber's number).
30c) Allow the Member to dial 555 for fake emergencies. 911 will still work as usual.
30d) Save all media to a secure cloud.
"Can we talk now?" asked Chastity.
Madison nodded.
Chastity took a big gulp of wine and giggled drunkenly. "I forgot what I was going to say. Let's just keep reading."
PREFERENCES
31) The Member will fill out a form with her preferences for potential sexual partners, including:
31a) Height
31b) Hair color
31c) Build
31d) Penis size
31e) Race
"Ooooh!" said Chastity. "I wish I could order men like this." She turned to an imaginary person next to her. "Yes, waiter, for my entrée I'd like a 6'2 muscular Berber with dark hair."
"Berber?" asked Madison.
I shook my head. "Long story."
"And for my dessert I'll take a ten-inch cock." Chastity handed her imaginary waiter her menu. "Oh, wait." She snatched it back. "Make him blonde. I like my meat rare."
I reached for the imaginary menu. "I'll take a number One57."
"What's that?" asked Chastity.
"Basically a mix of Zac Efron and Chris Hemsworth. With a man bun."
Chastity’s eyes lit up. "Oooh. I get it! What about you, Madison?"
She pretended to take the menu. "I can't decide. I guess I'll just share with you guys."
"Ew, no," I said. "Order your own!"
"Okay, okay. Fine. I'll take the biggest, blackest man you have."
Wow. Where did that come from? I was loving that for her.
Chastity whistled. "Now we're talking! Oh! We should order Spaceboy!” At this point, she was basically screaming with excitement. My neighbors must have been so confused.
"Let's keep reading," I suggested. "There might be more juicy details."
32) The Society will try to match the Member based on her preferences. However, the Member should keep an open mind - members often report higher levels of satisfaction when they step outside of their comfort zone.
33) Priority will be given to the preferences of the member whose wish is being fulfilled.
34) The Member may update her preferences at any time via the Society app.
POST-WISH EVALUATIONS
35) After each wish, the Member will log in to the app and submit her post-wish evaluations within 48 hours.
36) The Member will rate her satisfaction from 1 to 10, 10 being the best.
37) If the Member engages in sexual intercourse (anything beyond kissing), she will evaluate her partner on:
37a) Overall Experience
37b) Hygiene
37c) Attractiveness
37d) Role-playing
37e) Sexual Prowess
37f) Wardrobe
38) The Member may also give accolades to or report violations by any members present.
39) The Society will award highly rated members with extra wishes as they see fit.
40) If the Member receives poor ratings, they will risk discipline as set forth in Clauses 48 and 49.
"Discipline? Ow ow!" yelled Chastity.
"I don’t think it's sexy discipline. I feel like it's more about getting evicted from the group. Which is funny, because that's what's going to happen to me with this apartment if you don't keep your voice down." Although somehow Liz had slept through all of this.
Chastity frowned. "Party pooper."
PERSONAL UPKEEP
41) Once a week, the Member will attend a spa session at a Society-approved spa.
42) At the spa, the Member will receive:
42a) Massages
42b) Waxing
42c) STD tests
42d) Birth Control (if not already obtained through a gynecologist)
42e) Fitness evaluations
43) The Member will stay in excellent physical condition and arrive to all wishes with impeccable hygiene.
44) To prevent STDs, the Member will not engage in any sexual relationship outside of the Society.
45) If an STD test comes back positive, the Member will be notified. All operations will be suspended until all members have been retested.
DISCIPLINE
46) If the Member misses a spa appointment, she will be suspended until the appointment has been rescheduled and completed.
47) If the Member fails a fitness evaluation, she will be suspended until her next spa appointment.
48) If the Member's approval rating drops below 50%, she will be suspended for a minimum of one week. Reinstatement will occur at the discretion of the Society. Prior to reinstatement, a written or in-person evaluation may be required.
49) The following will result in immediate termination of membership:
49a) Violation of clause 1 (nondisclosure).
49b) Violation of
clause 24 (payment in real currency).
49c) Rape.
49d) Gross misconduct, as determined by the Society.
49e) Three suspensions of any kind.
49f) Two suspensions due to low approval ratings within any 6-month period.
Oh no, I've already done two of those things!
AMENDMENTS
50) The Society reserves the right to make amendments to these terms and conditions at any time.
51) When amendments are made, the Member must accept the amendments before participating in any more wishes.
52) If the Member does not accept the new terms, she may end her affiliation with the Society. Even if she is still an initiate, she will receive a full refund of her security deposit.
LIABILITY
53) By participating in a wish, the Member hereby releases the Society from liability for all claims, including but not limited to personal injury or death.
54) If the Member becomes pregnant during her affiliation with the society, she agrees that the father (if a member) and the Society are not liable.
Madison started to say something, probably about how shitty it was that the father wouldn't be liable, but I wasn’t really listening. And I wasn’t entirely sure what happened next. Because I was pretty sure I was finally experiencing something on my list. Blackout time. Check.
***
The next morning, I woke up on my couch, still wearing the same clothes as last night. It felt like I'd been run over by a truck. My head ached, and I was pretty sure the contents of my stomach were about to end up on the couch. I ran into the kitchen and forced myself to eat a few Ritz crackers. Like I told Dr. Lyons: if I didn't eat carbs in the morning, I always got all barfy. Mixing two wine coolers with God knows how many glasses of wine on an empty stomach the night before certainly hadn’t helped.
I was about to open the microwave to make some tea when I noticed something horrifying in the glass reflection. A woman with long black hair and no face lurked behind me. I threw my mug of water - luckily not yet boiling - in the air and grabbed a chef's knife out of the butcher block as I spun around. I was ready to cut a bitch. Or zombie. Or whatever it was.
It turned out to be neither a bitch nor a zombie. It was just a black wig sitting on a wooden mannequin head. The rest of the table was covered with open boxes of monopoly games. There were at least three dozen of them. The pieces were strewn everywhere, except for the money. It was all organized and wrapped in currency straps.
"What the hell did we do?" I mumbled. It looked like we had robbed Uncle Pennybags himself. That's it! Monopoly! I thought back to the part in the contract about monopoly money being used in wishes. In our drunken stupor, we must have visited every 24-hour store in Hell's Kitchen and bought all their copies of Monopoly. Apparently we had concluded that in-wish purchasing power was of the utmost importance.
As for the wig, I had no idea.
I opened the Society's app to search the terms and conditions for a mention of wigs, but the bold red letters about action required were missing. Instead, it just said: Contract Signed - April 12.
No. There was no way I would have signed something. Besides, I wasn’t Raven Black. It had been fun reading the terms and conditions, but I was not going to participate in the Society. I wasn't even going to leave the house. I couldn't break my vow of reclusivity. But I already have. Otherwise, I wouldn't have spent $1314 on monopoly games. I hadn't found a receipt for the wig, but it looked expensive. Please have generous return policies.
I clicked on the line about the signed contract. It took me to the bottom of the terms and conditions:
CONTRACT
On this 7th day of April 2023, the Society and the Member enter into this binding contract.
As set forth in the above terms and conditions and all associated appendices, the Society agrees to fulfill three wishes for the Member.
This contract will stay in effect in perpetuity until either party chooses to terminate the relationship, as per Clause 6.
At the bottom was my signature and yesterday's date.
What have I done?
Chapter 12 - Hermit Weekend
Tuesday
I hated when things were up in the air. And right now, it felt like everything was.
I was nervous about my new job starting tomorrow.
I was worried the police would come arrest me for the rape of Dr. Lyons.
But most of all, I was torn up about the Society.
My good sense told me to terminate the contract and never think of it again. They had taken my blood without my consent. There was something shady going on with the million dollars that they seemed to think I’d paid. And they expected me to have unprotected sex with strange men. That felt like three strikes, and those were just the first three things that came to mind. And yet...when the prompt on the app asked me, "Are you sure you want to terminate your contract?" I couldn't bring myself to press YES.
Terminate it, said my twelve-year-old self, the one that went to religious education classes every Wednesday and mass with my dad every Sunday. The one that prayed every night and tried to follow every rule to a T. I had always been susceptible to peer pressure, so when that pressure was coming from priests and those priests were telling me that I'd go to hell if I disobeyed God, I listened. My faith, or rather, my fear, was the reason why I didn't drink until I was 21. And why I didn't have sex until my wedding night. When I was a kid, the priests would get mad at me because I'd usually say that I hadn't done anything to confess during confession. They'd badger me about it until I finally gave up and made up some lie about punching my brother. And lying to them gave me something real for my next confession. It was a terrible cycle that I still felt bad about. Despite that, I still played by their rules.
Until my divorce.
In the eyes of the church, my soul was damaged goods. The door to heaven was closed to me. Just because Joe was an asshole. The priest told me I could try to get an annulment so that I could marry again without offending God. The next day he was arrested for molesting four altar boys. That was when I realized that my entire religious upbringing had been a sham.
Screw you, twelve-year-old self and your pious bullshit.
Was my spitefulness the only thing keeping me from listening to reason? I didn't think so. Chastity thought wishes from the Society could count toward my list of new things to try. Which was true. And it was also peer pressure.
The letters from the Society added even more pressure. It didn't have a face, but it felt like there was this group of people expecting me to fulfill the contract I had signed. Or…they expected Raven Black to do it. Gah, I was an imposter! That was a good reason to terminate the contract. But…they had sent it to me.
Besides, I was too far in. I would die of curiosity if I didn’t go to at least one event. Or die of horniness. Whatever label you want to give it, the fact remained that it was drawing me in. What if I really could fill out a form about my perfect man and the Society would deliver him to my doorstep, wrapped in whatever fantasy I desired? What if I could really complete my three wishes and then terminate the contract and get a check for a million dollars? What if I could really find love? With my stalker. It wasn't lost on me that I saw my stalker leaving his apartment every Tuesday and Thursday at 8 pm and wishes were scheduled to occur at 8:30 on those same days. A half-hour would have been plenty of time for him to get to wherever the wishes were taking place.
I lifted up my list of new things to try. I’d tasted 32 new smoothie flavors and still preferred strawberry banana. And I’d blacked out. That was pretty much it. Trying gross smoothies wasn’t living. Having sex with strangers was! Gah, no. Gah, yes! Just…gah!
To terminate or not to terminate. There were pros and cons for both. And the decision was paralyzing. I couldn't bring myself to terminate the contract, but I also couldn't promise myself that I'd accept the first wish. Hell, I didn't even know when the first wish would be. Would the next black envelope arrive tonight? To
morrow? Three months from now? It was just one more thing up in the air. And it was driving me freaking nuts.
Instead of enjoying my weekend of reclusivity, I’d spent most of it stress cleaning and compulsively checking Joe and Sierra’s Instagrams to see if they were officially together yet. I didn't know why I tortured myself with it. It didn't matter if they were together. I would never take him back. Actually, it did matter if they didn’t work out. I wanted nothing more than to see that she had cheated on him the way he cheated on me. Like I said, I was spiteful.
By Tuesday morning I had cleaned pretty much everything in my apartment. Twice. Okay, okay. I’m lying. It was three times. The only thing left to do was try on my new clothes and pick out an outfit for my first day of work tomorrow.
I was halfway through the fifth box of clothes when I heard a knock at the door. Weird. I was pretty sure all of my clothes had already been delivered. I counted the boxes again just to be sure. Yup, all nine boxes had arrived. For twelve outfits. All shipped from Amazon Prime. And all the boxes were at least five times too big for their contents. Why didn't they ever just ship everything together?
There was another knock, this time accompanied by Chastity's voice yelling something about food. That tricky bastard.
"Why is it so clean in here?" asked Chastity as she pushed past me into my apartment. I wouldn't have even opened the door if not for the Red Robin take-out bag in her arms.
"There better be a cheeseburger in there. And fries. If you Trojan Horsed your way in here..." The cheesy, greasy aroma wafting up from the bag stopped me mid-sentence. In a second, my apartment went from smelling like a 900 square foot container of Febreze - the original scent, not that stupid new odorless one - to smelling like a fast-food kitchen.
My mouth was watering almost as much as it had been when my stalker dropped his pants during that filthy delivery boy dream I’d had last night. Yeah, that's right. After hermitting all weekend, I had started having fantasies about my stalker coming to my door dressed as a FedEx man. The night before that he'd been a pizza boy hell-bent on giving me sausage with my pizza whether I ordered it or not. And the night before that I'd just dreamt that Amazon had a sale on cleaning supplies. My vow of reclusivity wasn’t working. I was definitely still a pervert.
