NOLA

by Alexie Aaron

  Candy’s eyes opened wide and asked, “Weebee?”

  Mia quickly updated her as to why the spider-eating snake was lying in considerable distress on the ground in front of them.

  “Weebee ate Sticks?” Candy asked, not needed to be answered.

  “She saved me,” Mia said lamely. “Now she’s hurting.”

  Weebee raised her head, and her body and started to undulate.

  “Back up people, Weebee is going to…”

  As if on cue, the snake forced the demon out of her with an open jaw and a whiplashing of her body. Sticks flew ten yards, crashing into the trunk of an oak tree. He tried to regain his footing but kept slipping on the digestive juices that were running off of him, pooling at his feet.

  Father Peter poured green chalk in a rectangluar shape on the ground and opened it with a few Latin words. He had just started his commanding chant when he was interrupted by Sticks.

  “No more,” the demon said and walked over to the portal and jumped in without encouragement.

  The portal was closed, and the five started to laugh.

  “I guess Sticks was so happy to be free from Weebee that he volunteered to return to hell,” Candy explained. “Come here, Weebee, you have saved the day.”

  Weebee slithered towards the priestess, shrinking in size as she approached. Mia handed the stone to Candy, and the woman lowered it to the ground. The snake moved over the stone and, as it did, became, first, thick black smoke then a wisp of gray fog. When the fog had cleared, the charm was back to its original form. Candy picked it up and offered it to Mia.

  “Oh no, I’ve been irresponsible,” Mia admitted. “I don’t think Weebee is too pleased with me.”

  “Very well,” Candy said, drawing out a soft bag, untying the drawstrings, and placing the charm inside.

  Father Peter held up his hand. “I just heard from Honor. She warns us not to return to the fairgrounds. The theft of the motorcycles did not go unnoticed. She suggests we meet back at her house in half an hour.”

  Mia opened her phone and dialed. “George, Mia Martin. Do you think you could pick me and four other people up at…” Mia moved her fingers in a give-me-information motion.

  “Desaix Boulevard and Moss Street,” Father Peter said loudly.

  “Did you hear that? Good. How long? Ten minutes, great!” Mia ended her call and followed the group as they made their way out of the green area and over to the cross streets.

  “So how did our intern do?” Becky asked.

  “She held her own,” Father Peter said.

  “Hello, and I’m right here. I may be small, but I can hear,” Mia muttered.

  “Mia, don’t be offended. Becky usually does her best to offend everyone, but right now, she is just curious,” Candy explained.

  “Did you have a good time, dear?” Monique asked.

  “Yes, matter of fact, I did. I was feeling a little full of myself, and then Sticks wiped that feeling away, which is probably a good thing. Better to be humble than dead.”

  “Sew it on a pillow, and call it a day,” Becky said.

  “How was your afternoon?” Mia asked the three.

  “Invigorating,” Becky blurted out.

  “Illuminating,” Candy chimed in.

  “Insulting, and that was just Becky. After we got going, I was surprised that three of our targets never showed,” Monique said with obvious concern.

  “All of ours were where Honor’s spirit guide said they would be, including Huff and Puff,” Father Peter said.

  The mention of Huff and Puff caused the women to erupt into twitters, giggles and roaring laughter.

  “Remember last year when Huff and Puff was at the Catholic girls’ school?” Monique asked her partners.

  “Oh, who could forget Sister Mary Margaret’s expression upon seeing him fully engorged,” Candy added.

  Becky threw her shawl over her head, stiffened her back and aped, “Really, demon, must you strut around like that? We have enough cock to deal with when the priests come to hear our confession.”

  “Tough old broad,” Monique said, her esteem for the holy sister showing.

  Mia couldn’t help laughing. Father Peter shook his head, but his eyes were shining.

  George pulled up the sedan and got out. He was dressed in casual clothes. “My mother was ironing my shirt when you called. I hope you don’t mind,” he said to Mia.

  “Not at all. This was rather impromptu,” Mia said. She eyed the ghost driver who seemed mortified by George’s choice in uniform.

  Mia squeezed into the back with the three ladies, leaving Father Peter to ride up front with George and the ghost.

  “He doesn’t know about his grandfather riding with him, does he?” Monique whispered.

  “No,” Mia said.

  “Well, we won’t scare the poor boy by mentioning it. Can you imagine trying to cross a body over when your grandmother is watching your every move?” she asked.

  “Unfortunately, I can’t,” Mia said. “Grandma Fred never showed me her spiritual side.”

  “Oh, that’s too bad,” Monique said. “I find you can learn so much from your elders.”

  “I was left to make my own mistakes, and I made a truckload of them,” Mia admitted.

  “Hard way to learn but effective,” Candy said.

  A loud rumble startled Mia.

  “That’s Becky,” Candy explained. “She’s tuckered out, the poor dear.”

  “Well, we’ll let her sleep until we get to Honor’s house,” Mia said and laid her head back against the seat and let her eyes droop too.

  Chapter Ten

  Cid finished setting up the last camera and checked the feed with Ted for the fifth time. Ted, who was normally a bit persnickety on his camera angles, seemed extra irritating to Cid tonight. It could be that Ted was missing Mia and Brian or that Cid was anxious to get to the reading room to contact the children. Cid decided to start off with Green Eggs and Ham and then read the Tall Tales version of the Paul Bunyan story. Murphy would be standing by until Cid called for him.

  “How’s this?” Cid asked.

  “Look’s good,” Ted said, keying in the feed to the main monitor.

  Jake, in his favorite Marvin the Martian guise, tripped across the bottom of the screen, ending up on his behind.

  Mike, who just sat down, tapped the screen and asked, “What’s that all about?”

  “That’s Jake speak for I hope he doesn’t fall on his ass,” Ted answered.

  Mike helped himself to some of Ted’s Java Juice and set his mug down. He pulled out a picnic-sized saltshaker and put a ring of salt around his cup.

  Amused Ted asked. “What’s that for?”

  “Murphy proofing. I noticed that the Sriracha sauce has disappeared from the little refrigerator.”

  “I think you’re a bit paranoid.”

  “No, just cautious. Mia’s not here to shake a finger at the monster. He’s on his own without mommy to censure him,” Mike explained.

  “He only does it because he likes you,” Ted assured him.

  “I wish he would like someone else for a change,” Mike said.

  Jake responded by playing a gif of an anvil falling on top of the coyote.

  Mike looked up and then laughed at himself.

  “How’s your mother?” Ted asked.

  “She’s doing well. Last I heard, she had joined something called a Red Hat Society and is spending her afternoons doing teas and concerts.”

  “Glenda doesn’t let moss grow under her feet,” Ted said.

  “Nor anywhere else. Frankly, I’m glad she’s busy. Otherwise, she would have figured out that I have a steady girlfriend and stuck her nose in.”

  “Don’t tell me her name. I can’t be trusted,” Ted said. “Is she the same one from your building?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think this is a record for you, Dupree.”

  “I think the relationship is lasting because we don’t see each other much. It’s tax seaso
n, so she’s pretty busy.”

  “I’m glad that you’re taking things slow.”

  “It’s tough, but this one’s a keeper, and I don’t want to blow it.”

  “Ted, I think we’re ready to start, over,” Burt’s voice came over the speaker.

  Mike watched as Ted’s fingers flew over the keys.

  “I have all PEEPs on open mic. Be careful what you say; you’re being recorded. That goes double for you, Audrey.”

  Her giggle filled the trailer. “I’ll try, over.”

  Mike took a sip of his coffee, pleased that it hadn’t been spiked by Murphy.

  “I’m glad you’re here to help,” Ted started and instructed, “If you watch the reading room, I’ll keep an eye on the other five feeds.”

  “That’s a lot to take in,” Mike observed.

  “I’m used to it. Plus, Jake has my back if I miss something.”

  A small brown cartoon dog showed up with a large pair of binoculars.

  “I’ll never get used to having a PEEP in the machine,” Mike said.

  Ted turned and looked at Mike. The dog dropped his mouth open, and large tears welled up in his eyes.

  “Dude, you’re the first to acknowledged Jake as a PEEP,” Ted said.

  “Murphy is a PEEP, and it seems to me that Jake has earned his stripes. Although, I think that Jake should be wearing a red shirt for a while.”

  The dog spun around and now wore a red Starfleet uniform shirt with pride.

  “Did Burt okay this?” Ted asked, noting Burt’s previous problems with the computer ghost.

  “I just assumed he’d be okay with it. Yesterday at lunch, he remarked how PEEPs was a force to be reckoned with, having a sensitive and two ghosts on the team.”

  Ted nodded.

  Cid walked into the reading room and sat down. Audrey sat in the back of the area, monitoring the conditions. Burt stood just outside the room, filming the event with the large tri-spectrum video camera.

  “Showtime,” Mike announced.

  Cid picked up the Dr. Seuss book and started reading. It took a few pages before the entities chorused “HAM!” each time Cid came to the word.

  Burt’s camera showed two small entities. They were, most likely, children or small ghosts. He had learned the hard way that small didn’t mean easy to manage, so he kept a respectful distance.

  Cid finished the book and announced to the room, “I’d like to read you something different tonight. It’s all about a giant man named Paul Bunyan and his big blue ox named Babe.

  “The kids are still with us,” Burt whispered.

  Cid finished the first tale, and Audrey raised her hand on cue.

  “Yes?”

  “I would like to meet Paul Bunyan,” she said.

  “He’s rather large,” Cid said, making a face.

  “Then I’d like to meet a small Paul Bunyan,” she countered.

  “A small Paul Bunyan. Let me see... We need a man who is carrying an axe. Not too many of those around here.”

  There was a light tapping on the door, and Cid looked over and clapped his hands together. “Why, it’s Mr. Murphy the farmer. Hello, Mr. Murphy.”

  Murphy stood still, letting the two children sitting in the middle of the room take him in. There was a boy of about four years holding the hand of an older female who was just a few years older. “Hello, my name is Stephen Murphy, and I’m a farmer,” he said gently.

  The two children nodded.

  “Can I come and sit down and listen to the next story?”

  The two children nodded again.

  Murphy moved slowly and sat a short distance away from the girl who had put a protective arm around the boy.

  “Is that you’re brother?” he asked, laying his axe down on the other side of his body.

  “Yes.”

  “I know your mother taught you not to talk to strangers, so I’ll just sit here and introduce myself to her when she comes to pick you up.”

  “Mommy’s not coming,” the little boy blurted out.

  “Then I’ll introduce myself to your father…”

  “Daddy’s not coming,” the boy informed him.

  “Did something happen to your mother and father?” Murphy asked.

  “No, sir,” the girl spoke up. “Something happened to us.”

  “Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that.”

  The little girl scooted closer to Murphy, lowered her voice and asked, “You do know you’re dead like us, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, Greggy and I died when Mommy’s car was hit by a big truck. Mommy lay in the hospital bed for a long time. We visited her every day. Daddy did too. He was so sad. One day, our Grandma Jean came and told us that Mommy wasn’t going to be joining Greggy and me, but she was going to wake up and be with Daddy. She said we could come to heaven with her to wait for Mommy and Daddy. I told her that Mommy said, if ever we were to get separated, that we would go to the library and wait for her in the reading room. So we’re going to wait for her here, if that’s alright?”

  “I expect that’s fine. What is your name, young lady?”

  “Alice Marie Jones.”

  Murphy extended his hand and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Alice, and you too, Greggy.”

  Greggy giggled and reached out his hand to be shook.

  “I think that if we’re really good, the man will read us another story,” Murphy said smiling.

  “We’d like that. Tell him to read Green Eggs and Ham again. It’s Greggy’s favorite.”

  “Excuse me, Cid.” Murphy managed to vocalize. “We’d like to hear Green Eggs and Ham again, please.”

  Cid picked up the book turned the page and started. “I am Sam…”

  Mike turned to Ted and asked, “Did you hear anything he said?”

  “Just the last part. He’ll tell us later. But from what I saw, he made the acquaintance of the children. I’m sure he’ll have something to report later.”

  “HAM!”

  Mike and Ted jumped. With Murphy joining in, the chorus of “Ham!” was almost deafening as it bounced off the walls of the trailer. Ted quickly adjusted the sound.

  “I’m surprised that the old coot knows the story,” Mike commented.

  “Oh, Mia and I read to Brian every night. She can recite most of the books.”

  “That’s interesting. I didn’t think that Amanda and Charles were much into reading anything, let alone Dr. Seuss, to their daughter at night.”

  “Ah, but Ralph did and acted out the stories. Bernard regrets Hop on Pop, especially when Ralph changed it to Hop on Bernard.

  ~

  Ralph was surprised by the knock on his door. He rushed over and peeped through the viewer, smiling as a ragged blonde looked up at him.

  “Come on, Ralph, open the door. I’m tired,” Mia whined.

  He opened the door, and she all but fell into his arms. He escorted her to a chair and stood looking down at her.

  Mia looked up at her godfather and started to laugh. “What is that purple goo on your face?”

  Ralph had forgotten about his moisturizing mask until then. “Just something to keep up my youthful looks.”

  “Is that why people keep confusing you as my brother?” Mia said sweetly.

  “You’re a charmer. What, may I ask, are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be hanging out with the Voodoo priestess?”

  “She said we could reschedule for tomorrow night. I’m pretty tired and wounded.” Mia pointed to her leg.

  Ralph noticed that there was a large hand-shaped burn mark on her tan cargos. “What the hell happened here?”

  “A bit of misadventure,” she said, wincing as Ralph pushed up her pant leg, exposing a bandage with something malodorous emanating from it. “Monique whipped up a burn salve from some herbs Honor had in her cupboard.”

  “Well, I can’t do anything with you like this. Off with your pants, missy, and no sass,” he ordered.

  Mia did as she was told, a
nd when Ralph saw the purple mass of bruises around her lower leg, he had a fit.

  “Oh my god, Mia! This is why I wanted to come along. You need someone watching out for you. Murphy’s not here.”

  “Father Peter…”

  “Obviously didn’t prevent this,” Ralph snapped. “Now you get in the shower, and I’ll go to your room to get your pajamas. Tonight you are spending with me. Bernard is going to hit the roof when I tell him about…” Ralph stopped, thought a moment and turned around and stared at Mia. “What did happen?”

  “Lots. Good and bad stuff. I want to call home and see if Brian is awake. Mrs. Braverman is supposed to be watching him. Ted’s on a paranormal investigation.”

  “After the shower and pajamas,” Ralph ordered. “Plus, take off that smelly thing. I’ve got some stuff that costs a mint but should fix you right up.”

  Mia nodded and limped to the shower. She didn’t need to put on a brave face anymore. She was in the hysterical but capable hands of Ralph.

  ~

  The PEEPs team huddled together in the command truck while Ted related Murphy’s information to them.

  “Alice Marie and Greggy Jones,” Audrey said aloud as she took notes. “What kind of clothes were they wearing? That would go a long way in identifying what era they died in.”

  Murphy held up his hands.

  “Do your best,” Ted encouraged.

  “Pink stretchy pants and a shirt with a pony on it. Greggy had on overalls and shoes that lit up when he walked.”

  Ted nodded and repeated the information to Audrey.

  “Pony or unicorn?” she asked, miming a horn on her forehead.

  Murphy laughed. “No horn.”

  “He said no horn.”

  “Damn, if it were a unicorn then I had an idea. But the shoes? When did they start putting lights on them?” she asked herself as she left the trailer in search of her laptop.

  Marvin the Martian ran across the screen, and the men heard a loud slam of a door as the cartoon figure disappeared.

  “I guess she forgot about Jake,” Ted said, scratching his head. “Is anyone hungry? I’m starving.”

  All but Murphy nodded.

  “Did anyone think to pack any food?” Ted asked.