NOLA

by Alexie Aaron

  All, including Murphy, shook their heads.

  “Well, let’s draw straws to see who goes out on a food run,” Burt said.

  “I’ll go,” Cid volunteered. “I saw a deli over at the movie complex. I bet they’re open late.”

  After the orders had been taken, Burt, Mike and Ted looked at each other. No one had to be reminded that if Mia was there, the food would not have been forgotten.

  A small ding came from the console. Ted turned around and scanned the feeds. I have a black mass moving down the basement level hallway,” he identified, tapping on the screen.

  Mike and Burt leaned in, and sure enough, there was a slow moving dark mass just the other side of the door to the storage room.

  “I’ll head down there with Murphy,” Mike said. “You follow us with the camera as soon as you can get set up.”

  Burt nodded.

  Ted ran a side program and reported, “The mass is tipping the scales on power, approach with care, over.”

  Murphy held himself back and moved in concert with Mike. He let Mike know he was with him by an occasional tap of his axe.

  “Ted says this entity is quite powerful. Let’s not anger the sucker if we can help it,” he said to Murphy.

  To Mike’s eyes, the entity was a black shadow. To Murphy, however, it was a burly man in his middle years. The man wore an old brown coat tattered at the edges. The man turned as they approached. His face had seen some weather. The broken capillaries were common amongst farm folk. The wind in northern Illinois could be brutal. But the man didn’t have the stature of a farmer. Murphy suspected that the state of the man’s skin had more to do with sleeping rough and drinking bad alcohol.

  “Hello, I’m Mike Dupree. I’m here at the invitation of the head librarian. Can I be of service to you?”

  “He’s got to be kidding,” the man said to Murphy. “I’m dead. Where was he forty-five years ago?”

  Murphy didn’t speak. He had sized up the opposition and thought it prudent to save power. Instead, he hunched his shoulders.

  “I have a box that you can speak into. This will help us to understand what you need.”

  The man watched as Mike laid the box with the blinking red light on it on the floor between them.

  The ghost waited a beat and then stomped on it, smashing it to bits.

  Mike backed up, touching his ear. “Ted, we have a hostile ghost here. I’m retreating, over.”

  A winded Burt arrived as Mike was leaving. The two missed smacking into each other by inches.

  “Get them,” the ghost said. “Laurel and Hardy.”

  Murphy moved between the investigators and the ghost. “They are trying to help you. Do you wish to move on into the light?” Murphy asked him.

  “Hell no! I never catered to any church. No time to be singing hymns now. You tell them to get the hell out of my building.”

  “I believe this building is owned by the village of Little Goodwin.”

  “Is that what they’re calling this one-silo burb these days? Hell, I knew old Mister Goodwin, and he weren’t the sort you should be naming towns after. He ran numbers in the back of the barbershop.”

  “Numbers?”

  “Dumb farmer, he ran a gambling establishment. Girls too. He had two, sometimes three, whores housed upstairs.”

  Murphy tried not to bristle at the dumb farmer comment.

  Burt zoomed in with the infrared and identified Murphy and another entity. This entity was as cold as something could get, just before it becomes ice. “Murphy, do you need assistance?” Burt called out.

  “Murphy? Is that your name? Figures. Seems to me, it would be a god-damned Irishman that would be the pet monkey of a group of interfering bastards. Now that red-haired woman, I wouldn’t mind being her pet monkey.”

  “You keep your hands off of her and these people,” Murphy warned.

  “And what? Are you going to swing your little axe and frighten me way? Get the hell out of my building. You’ve been warned. I won’t ask again,” he said and moved back into the boiler room.

  Burt started to follow the black mass. Murphy put his axe out across the hallway. Burt found he couldn’t move any further.

  “Murphy, is that you?”

  “Bad ghost. Don’t follow,” he said, well aware of the energy drain. He would have to get upstairs to Ted soon and recharge, but he couldn’t leave the two investigators down here without supervision. No telling what that entity had in store for the two if they blundered into his lair.

  “Ted, we’re going to pull back to the old stacks room, over.”

  “Noted, over and out.”

  Murphy followed the men into the basement storage. It didn’t take him long to spot the well-dressed man standing in a stack of books.

  “Sir, that can’t be too comfortable,” Murphy mentioned as he helped the gentleman out of the stack and into the aisle.

  “There used to be an aisle here. You see, they move things around, and I can’t get used to the new layout.”

  “How is it that you keep getting stuck?” Murphy asked.

  “I use all my energy reading. I love to read. This is my heaven. Although, I’ve read most everything here. Miss Hodges hasn’t brought down any new ones in a while.”

  “Why don’t you go upstairs? It’s full of books.”

  “I don’t dare leave here or that man out there will throttle me.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I’m protected here. He hates books. In the hall, I’m fair game.”

  “I could escort you upstairs,” Murphy said, raising his axe.

  “But then how would I return? You can’t stay here and babysit me. You’ve got your farm to see to,” the man reasoned.

  “True. Perhaps the solution is to get rid of the nasty man,” Murphy said.

  “Could you?”

  “No, but I may know a guy…”

  Chapter Eleven

  “Oh, Mia, little Brian is such a good-natured baby. He seems happy to jabber away. He hasn’t cried once since I’ve been here,” Mrs. Braverman said. “Ted’s called me every hour. I had to put my foot down. The ringing phone was waking up the baby, so we compromised. I put one of those little cameras of his on the mobile over Brian’s crib. He said he can remotely access it and see Brian anytime, without waking him up.”

  “Ted’s a little over-the-top sometimes,” Mia commiserated. “I’m going to call him at work. I’ll leave some gentle hints that enough is enough,” she promised.

  “Don’t be too harsh on the boy,” Mrs. Braverman cautioned.

  “Oh, I’ll be gentle. Thank you again for being there for Brian.”

  “That’s okay, dear. Now you get some rest and come home soon.”

  Mia hung up and smiled.

  “What’s that smile for?” Ralph asked, handing Mia a slice of cheese.

  “Mrs. Braverman said, ‘Come home soon.’”

  “Like you were one of her kids?”

  “She only has Tom, but I think that was a Freudian slip.”

  “You would make any woman proud to have you as a daughter, Mia.”

  “I think that only someone strong would be able to put up with my lifestyle, someone with integrity, imagination and ingenuity.”

  “Someone like me,” Ralph claimed.

  “Yes, Ralph, someone like you.” Mia adjusted her leg. “What did you put on that burn?”

  “Aloe, but it was mixed with some royal jelly. You’ll be healed up in no time. Tell me again how you burned yourself.”

  “When Sticks had me hanging upside down, I decided to try and force his hand open. I couldn’t reach it with my hands, so I tried to pry it away telepathically. And in doing so, I gave him quite a hot hand. But he, being a demon, didn’t feel it until my pants caught fire. Then he let me go.”

  “And you fell, catching hold of the tail of a kite and swung to safety,” Ralph finished.

  “Ah, that’s the Indiana Jones version, but basically that’s it.”

/>   “What an adventure!”

  “Looking back, I can call it that, but when you’re in it, all you can think is, how do I get out of this?” Mia confided.

  “Do you ever wish that you weren’t gifted?”

  “Every day and twice on Sunday,” Mia said glibly.

  “No, dear, that’s a matinee schedule. Speaking of, do you want to see my sketches for Burnt Toast and Leftover Pizza?”

  “It sounds more like my bachelor days’ breakfasts than a musical.”

  “Actually, it’s a musical based on the woes of a househusband.”

  “I’d love to see the sketches,” Mia said, “And then I’m going to call Ted.”

  “Tell you what, call Ted first, and I’m going to wash this stuff off and put on my night mask.”

  “That’s your third mask. Your skin is going to get confused,” Mia warned.

  “I can’t help having combination skin,” Ralph said, walking into the bathroom.

  Mia dialed Ted’s cell phone.

  “Hello, Minnie Mouse. We could sure use you here,” he said quickly. “We have a building full of ghosties. Most are kind, but there is a nasty one, kind of a bully, and all of them want to stay.”

  “Hello to you too, Teddy Bear,” Mia said laughing.

  “Mrs. Braverman has installed a webcam over Brian’s crib.”

  “Yes, I heard. Mind sending me a link?”

  “Are you going through Brian withdrawal too?”

  “I’m going through Martin men withdrawal,” Mia admitted.

  “How was your day, dear?” he asked.

  “Eventful, yours?”

  “Oh you know, a little of this and that,” he said a little too casually.

  “I can see I’ll have a lot to catch up on when I get back.”

  “Any chance on an early release?”

  “I’ll talk to the warden, but don’t get your hopes up. There is something going on down here that I may have to look into before I can leave. If I’m lucky, I can get a handle on it, hand it over to the locals, and still make my flight two days after tomorrow.”

  “How does it feel?” Ted asked.

  “How does what feel?” Mia asked, confused.

  “Being a career woman.”

  “Is that what you call this? Teddy Bear, I’m not making any money – although, I could if I had less scruples.”

  “I like your scruples,” Ted said in a low sexy voice.

  “I like your scruples too,” Mia returned. “I miss you so much. You do so much for me. Watching the video feeds so I don’t get snuck up on, running interference with Burt, and putting up with Murphy,” she listed. “I know that can’t be easy.”

  “Murphy is doing a great job here. We’re playing a lot of charades, and he’s communicating. It’s a struggle, but we’re managing. You make all the difference between guessing and knowing, Mia.”

  “Why thank you, but I assure you, I do a lot of guessing too,” she confided. “I sure could use you guys down here.”

  “We sure could use you up here,” he said. “I wish that Burt didn’t take this case until you were available.”

  “You said it yourself, he thought it was, at best, a residual haunt.”

  “True, Cid and I had most of the librarian’s claims debunked when we found out they were real.”

  “Life can be surprising.”

  “In this case, death.”

  Ted gave Mia the url for the crib cam, and they shared some endearments that had Ralph returning to the bathroom red-faced.

  ~

  Mrs. Braverman had left the nightlight on in the nursery. The soft, warm light filled the room, and Mia could see the sleeping form of her child. She wanted to reach into her smart phone and gather her child into her arms. “Isn’t he beautiful?” she said, handing the phone to Ralph.

  Ralph studied the sleeping infant for a moment. “He is beautiful, Mia. But wouldn’t handsome be a better adjective?”

  “Oh, no, not you too. He has the Martin nose, but it looks good on him,” she said, taking the phone away from her godparent.

  Ralph put an arm around Mia. “I was just teasing. He is a beautiful baby.”

  “I can’t believe that all that goodness came out of me,” Mia mused. “He’s made me a better person.”

  “Impossible, you’ve always been a good person,” Ralph argued.

  “Oh, you. You’re biased.”

  “And hungry. How about some room service and a movie to get our minds off of the day and missing our loved ones?”

  “You’re missing Bernard, aren’t you?”

  “Oh, a tad. We’re used to having to be apart. My work demands I spend a lot of time in other cities, and Bernard has been tied to the museum since they lost the last director.”

  “I’m surprised it has taken so long to promote someone.”

  “Politics and patrons make the job very hard to fill.”

  “I take it Bernard doesn’t want it.”

  “No, he wants to retire, maybe consult part-time. The extra money is nice, but it’s making an old man out of him. He almost has a full head of gray hair.”

  “He looks very distinguished.”

  “He’s too young. I tried to convince him to see my stylist, and he laughed at me.”

  “I don’t think Bernard is into peeling back the years. I think he likes to embrace them,” Mia said. “I, myself, had a bit of a melt down before you came. I’ve discovered that I’m vain.”

  Ralph almost dropped the handset he picked up to call for room service. “Hold on a moment. Let me order, then I want you to tell me all about it.”

  Mia did as she was told. Ralph talked to the kitchen while brewing some coffee. By the time he was finished with his order, he had two mugs of decaf spiked with something from the ornate flask he carried.

  Mia sniffed the cup and set it down. “Ralph, I don’t drink decaf.”

  “You do tonight. It’s late. Now tell me what happened and why you think you’re vain?”

  Ralph was reduced to tears after he had laughed himself out. Mia was a bit perturbed about his reaction to her crisis. “Really, this is the last time I talk to you,” she pouted.

  “Oh, my sweet little Mia, you aren’t vain. You’re normal. Finally, a part of you that can be classified as normal. We all have fears that if we lose our looks, our men are going to look elsewhere. But Ted’s not going anywhere. He’s so gaga over you that I’m surprised he let you go on this trip alone. The pregnancy has rounded the sharp corners off of you. You are more beautiful now than when you were a teenager. Why do you think I buy you clothes all the time? It’s a pleasure to dress you. I watch the dressers on the musicals struggle to get the young ladies to be half as beautiful as you are in those boys’ clothes you insist on.”

  “They’re comfortable and necessary. You try carrying a sawed-off shotgun in a Marc Jacobs shift.”

  “Good point. Hmmm, I wonder if some of the costume designs we used for the musical The Mummy Comes a Knocking could be just the thing. Soft, feminine but full of hidden pockets and sexy boots. Oh, Mia, to have your calves,” he swooned. “You don’t know how lucky you are. Most petite girls have to suffer… cankles.”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “Cancles, you know, calf-ankles.”

  “Ralph, that’s rather insensitive.”

  “Oh look at you, Miss Sensitive.” Ralph put his hand to his mouth and burst out laughing. “Mia, I honestly didn’t… Oh, come on, it was punny!”

  Mia let herself go and laughed heartily.

  A brisk knock on the door brought the two of them to their senses. Mia worried that they had been too loud, and it was their neighbor complaining. But Ralph, who had spent a lot of time in hotels, instinctively knew the knock of a room service waiter.

  “Come in, come in,” he said in a sing-song voice.

  Mia sat back and marveled at the efficiency of the gentleman who set up the table and pulled the chairs around so they could view the movie while they ate.
He paused a moment when he looked at Mia.

  “Excuse me, miss, but you look just like Mia Cooper on PEEPs.”

  “That’s because I am Mia Cooper, er Mia Martin now,” Mia said pleasantly.

  “Oh my god! Martin? You didn’t marry Whitney did you?”

  “No, the other Martin, Ted. Do you mind me asking how you know all about this?”

  “It was in GEM, Ghosts, Entities and Mediums magazine.”

  “I’ve never heard of this magazine,” Mia said honestly.

  “It’s kind of a rag, but I love the gossip,” the young man confessed. “Are you here filming?”

  “No, on another matter. PEEPs are up north filming a library that has almost as many ghosts as books,” she said.

  “A scoop! Would you mind if I sent this in? GEM is always looking for information on the professional ghost hunting groups.”

  “No, go ahead. I’d like to see a copy of this magazine. You wouldn’t have one handy, would you?”

  “In my locker. I go on break in fifteen minutes. I’ll bring it up in exchange for your autograph.”

  Mia nodded, stunned that anyone would want her signature on anything other than a check.

  Ralph signed for the food, and as soon as the waiter left, he said, “Put that sandwich down! We don’t have time for that. I’ve got to get you into selfie condition. You know he’s going to bring his cell phone with him.”

  “But I’m hungry.”

  “Tough, this is the price you have to pay for fame. First, let me get that unibrow straightened out.”

  “I do not have a unibrow!”

  “A few strays in person isn’t a problem, but on those cameras, it becomes a unibrow,” Ralph claimed.

  “Did the waiter say professional ghost hunting group?” Mia asked.

  “He did. Mia, where have you been? PEEPs is highly regarded.”

  “I don’t know. I kind of liked that we were amateurs.”

  “Being regarded as an amateur isn’t going to pay the bills,” Ralph pointed out, handing Mia her discarded bra she’d had on when she arrived. “Come on, don’t make a face. The girls are sagging. Think of your public!”

  Mia took the bra and walked into the bathroom obediently. “Come on, lefty, you’ve got some perkin’ up to do.”