Riding Solo

by Woods, Karen

  Louise plonked onto her lap and grabbed her cheeks causing her lips to touch together at the sides. “Shut up moaning, you had a good time last night didn’t you?”

  Marcy dipped her head and nodded. “Yeah, what I can remember of it. I’m not used to the party scene anymore; I’m like a blue rinse pensioner aren’t I?” Louise jumped up from her lap and placed her hand on her hips. “You’re aching because of all the slut drops you were doing. You’re like Beyoncé when you got going.”

  Marcy covered her ears with her hands. “Orr, please don’t tell me anymore. I slept on the toilet floor me, well, once I was sick.”

  Louise reached over and grabbed her hands and started pulling her up off the chair. “Right you, come on, let’s move our arses and start getting this show on the road.”

  Marcy sniggered to herself. Louise was actually swearing. This was so out of character for her, usually she would whisper a swear word and hated foul language. Joan and Lisa must have rubbed off on her last night because as she left the room she was still cursing under her breath.

  Marcy stood in front of the mirror in her long white wedding dress. It wasn’t anything special, it was just nice, a bit boring some might say and a little dated. Not one bit of flesh was on show, the sleeves were long and the neckline went half way up her neck. The dress was like something a Victorian bride would have worn. Louise twisted the last bit of Marcy’s hair with the hot brush. Her hairstyle was plain and consisted of a few ringlets at the back of her head. Louise stood back and admired her work. “Pass me the hairspray, Marcy. We’ll need gallons of it to keep this in place.”

  Just as she bent forward to get it from the windowsill the bedroom door opened. Marcy’s father Steve, was stood there and his jaw dropped. “Your friend downstairs let me in. I hope you don’t mind me coming straight up.”

  Marcy filled up, and waved her hand in front of her eyes. “Do I ‘eck mind, God above dad, this was your home once you know?”

  Steve moved towards her and his eyes were welling up. He swallowed hard and reached over to touch her hand. “You look stunning sweetheart. I’m so happy for you. Sam’s a lovely guy and I know he will look after you.”

  A chill passed over Marcy’s body and she quivered. The hairs on her arms stood on end and she looked over her shoulder just to make sure there were no windows left open. Marcy definitely felt a presence in the bedroom. Louise left the room to give them some time together; she looked like a spare part stood there twiddling her thumbs. Marcy held her dress at the side and twisted her body. The nerves were kicking in now and her heart was racing inside her chest. Steve pulled out a small bottle of brandy out of his pocket. “Do you fancy a little tipple? It will calm your nerves.”

  Just the thought of any more alcohol made Marcy heave, she declined his offer and watched as he twisted the lid off it and held the bottle up to his lips. There was somebody talking outside the door and they both shot their eyes to the door handle as they watched it turning slowly. Steve blew a laboured breath, this was all he needed. Joan and Lisa stomped into the room and it was obvious they didn’t want him there.

  Joan twisted Marcy’s ringlets at the back of her head, you could see in her eyes she was out for a fight. “You are such a beautiful bride Marcy. Our Jackie would have been so proud of you.” Just the mention of her mother’s name made her stomach churn, she was trying to hold it all together but she was struggling.

  Steve backed off and held his hand on the edge of the door. “I’ll go and wait downstairs, do you need anything doing?”

  Before Marcy could answer Lisa snarled at him. “If she needs anything doing we’re here to help. You just piss off downstairs and stay out of my face.”

  Steve chewed on his lips, his mouth was moving, but the words seemed to be trapped on his tongue. He knew he was fighting a losing battle and backed off. The door closed and Lisa marched about the bedroom in a strop. “I’m sorry for kicking off Marcy, but I hate that man with a passion, he makes my blood boil.”

  Joan darted her eyes at her sister and screwed her face up. “Lisa, we’ve already spoken about this. I thought we agreed that today we would put our differences to one side and make this a day to remember for our Marcy?”

  Lisa walked to the window and started to take deep breaths, her cheeks were on fire. “I know, I know, I’m sorry Marcy. I’ll try and calm myself down.”

  Joan walked over to Marcy and tickled her shoulder. “Are you nervous? My arse would be twitching if it was me. On my wedding day no one could get me out of the toilet. I was shitting like a new born baby I can tell you.”

  Lisa shrieked and jumped up and down. “The wedding car’s are here. What do you have left to do?”

  Marcy stood thinking holding a single finger to her lips. “I’ve got my something old and something new and I’ve even got something blue, I just need something borrowed.”

  Joan reached for her handbag. She was concentrating as she pulled out her purse. Fingers digging inside it she located a small silver heart. Holding it out flat in her palm she smiled at her niece. “This was your mother’s. She found it on the fair when she was a young girl. She loved it and never let it out of her sight, it was her treasure. Well, that’s what she called it anyway. She gave it to me as a gift after a big argument we had, and I’ve carried it about with me ever since then. You can borrow it if you want?”

  Marcy stroked her finger over the silver heart, it was dented and discoloured. Bending down she tucked it into the side of her shoe. The door opened and Louise was frantic. “Right we have to leave girls, the driver’s having kittens, we’re already late.” She raced to Marcy’s side and pecked her on the side of her cheek. “Deep breaths and you’ll be fine. I’ll be waiting for you at the church.”

  Marcy followed them down the stairs and watched them leave through the front window in the living room. As she stood watching them she could feel her father’s eyes burning into the back of her head from behind her. She turned slowly as she watched him melt to the floor on his knees. “I’m sorry Marcy. Your mother would have been here today if it wasn’t for me. We could have worked it out; I was just being foolish and got caught up in the moment.”

  Marcy bent her knees and stroked the top of his head. “Dad, please. I can’t do this today. Can we just go to the church and let me get married? This is my time to be happy; don’t you think I’ve been through the mill enough, I don’t need to hear this now?”

  Steve drew his knees up to his chest and he was blubbering. “I’m all alone now; the woman I was with has left me. She was a gold digger and she never really loved me. She pulled the wool right over my eyes, she did.”

  Marcy was listening and her cheeks creased at the sides. She couldn’t hold her thoughts any longer. “Dad, that’s something you have to deal with now, not me. You made the mistake and you’ll have to live with it. My mother’s death is on your hands and you need to learn that you can’t just walk away from your wife and not expect her to be upset. My mam never got over what you did to her, and that’s something you’ll have to learn to live with.” Marcy stood tall and watched the shell of the man she used to know, crumble into a thousand pieces.

  Steve had changed so much and the guilt was written all over his face for the world to see. He was desperate and he was falling apart. “I can’t sleep at night Marcy. Every night when I close my eyes, Jackie’s face is staring at me. I’m sure she’s haunting me.”

  Marcy picked up her ivory silk bag from the table and opened the front door. “Dad, it’s time to go, are you ready or what?” Marcy smiled and watched him get off from the floor. She should have been sympathetic with him but something inside her made her walk away from him, perhaps just like he’d walked away from his family. Karma was always a funny thing to understand.

  The people stared at Marcy Jordan as she pulled up in the wedding car. Louise was stood waiting for her in a canary yellow bridesmaid dress. Louise had picked the dress herself and loved the colour yellow. It wasn’t what Marc
y would have picked for her but she let her friend have her choice. She looked like a big yellow budgie. Steve got out of the car first and rubbed his knuckles into his eyes. His suit was creased and he was pressing his flat palm against his legs to try and sort the wrinkles out.

  Sam turned his head slowly as the music began. Around thirty people were gathered today in the church and they were all eager to see the bride for the first time. Joan and Lisa sat right at the front of the church. As they saw Marcy glide down the aisle towards them they both began to sob. Grace and Winnie were at the back of the church and they were whispering to each other. Harry, Amanda and Fred had been invited to the ceremony too, but none of them had turned up.

  As Marcy walked passed them Winnie covered her mouth with her hand, her voice was low. “I don’t think much about that dress, bloody hell, I thought she would have made an effort on her special day. She looks so worried doesn’t she?”

  Grace elbowed her in the waist. “Will you keep your voice down, motor mouth? The dress is lovely, not everyone has the same taste as you, you know. And as I remember rightly you looked like a meringue in your wedding dress, so keep your gob shut.”

  Winnie shrugged her shoulders, “I’m just saying that’s all. Don’t bite my head off. It is dated though. And for your information I looked like a princess in my wedding dress, everyone said how lovely it was.”

  Grace shook her head and smirked. “Yeah, whatever Winnie.”

  Marcy stood at Sam’s side and her legs were shaking. Her chest was rising frantically and it looked like her heart was going to burst right out of her ribcage. “You look lovely,” he whispered into her ear as he squeezed her hand softly. Marcy blushed and focused on the priest stood in front of her.

  The couple exchanged their vows and everyone applauded as the couple kissed. Steve was sat with his head held in his hands and he was wallowing in his own self pity. Joan and Lisa barged passed him as the service ended, nobody gave him a second look. The photographs were being taken outside the church and everyone was in high spirits. It was Steve’s turn to have his photograph taken with his daughter. As he walked from the side of the church he could hear the whispering from the guests. Joan and Lisa had made sure everyone who had attended knew the story. Steve stood next to his daughter and he could feel the stare of the guests. His head was dipped low and he was struggling to raise a smile for the camera. “Say cheese,” the photographer urged. Marcy raised a smile and put her hand around her father’s waist. As she did she could feel his bones sticking out through his clothes. The photograph was taken and Steve couldn’t wait to get away from the public eye. He was sweating hard and tears trickled down his cheeks.

  Joan and Lisa walked across the grass verge to pose for the camera. As they passed Steve they hissed at him. “You fucking low life, get back under the rock you’ve crawled from under. You’re not welcome here. This is a family day, and you’re not family any more.”

  Marcy stretched her neck watching them from a distance; she was agitated and cupped her hands around her mouth as she shouted. “Come on you two, I’m freezing over here.”

  Joan spat from her mouth and it landed near Steve’s feet. “Scumbag,” she snarled as she left his side.

  Later, at the reception, Sam’s best man gave a speech any groom would have been proud of, he’d done him proud. The room was hysterical as he revealed some old secrets about his best mate. Sam was still chuckling and shaking his head at him as he sat down. The time had now come for Steve to make his speech; you could have heard a pin drop as he stood to his feet. Marcy looked over at him and she could feel his pain. She smiled at him softly. Clearing his throat he began. “I’m so proud of my daughter today, she looks amazing.” Joan was barracking in the background and Lisa had to tell her to shut up. She’d already drunk a bottle of red wine and she was like a loose cannon. Steve gained a few laughs as he spoke about Marcy’s early years and he seemed to be on a roll, well, until he mentioned his deceased wife’s name. Marcy was fidgeting and she could see her aunties were getting ready to strike. They were like a couple of lionesses and it was only a matter of time before they pounced on their victim. Steve told the room how much Jackie loved her daughter and how she would have been proud of her today.

  Before he finished his sentence, his world started to fall apart as Lisa stood to her feet. There was no way she could sit there a moment longer and listen to him go on as if nothing had happened. “My sister would have been here today if you would have kept your dick in your trousers. Go on, tell everyone how you just upped and left your family for a bit of skirt.”

  Steve wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. He stood cracking his knuckles and he could feel the eyes of everyone in the room on him. His heart was beating in his ears and he was white as if he’d seen a ghost. Marcy bolted up to her feet and she let rip. “Lisa, Joan, will you two turn it in. This is my day and this is my father. We all know what happened in the past, but this is the future, it’s my future, so back off.” The guests loved every minute of the drama; they were sat on the edge of their seats waiting for the next blow to be struck. Steve was suffocating and reached across the table for a drink of water. Once he’d quenched his thirst he walked out of the room as quick as his feet could carry him. Marcy was getting ready to follow him but Sam held her back. “Marcy, just leave him. This is our day not his. He will be fine, just let him have his moment.” Sitting back down slowly Marcy darted her eyes over at her auntie’s and shook her head.

  Steve stood outside the venue and he was walking up and down the gravelled path at speed puffing hard on a cigarette. Night time had fallen and the street lights in the distance were starting to flicker. Marcy came outside and spotted him straight away. She raced to his side. “Dad, will you come back inside. Just ignore them two, you know them of old. They just get angry that’s all.”

  Steve stubbed his foot onto the cigarette end and blew the smoke from his mouth. “I need to go home love. I knew it was a mistake coming here today. They’re right in everything they’ve said. I’m an out and out bastard.” Marcy sighed and lifted her eyes to the sky. He was doing her head in now and she was ready for going back inside. “I’m heartbroken Marcy. I’ll never get over what I’ve done. I lost the love of my life and I didn’t realise until it was too late.”

  Marcy inhaled deeply and her hands touched her neck. “Dad, please just come back inside. We can talk about this tomorrow.”

  Steve snivelled and wiped his nose on the corner of his sleeve. “No love, you just go and enjoy your day. I’m going to get a taxi home now. I don’t want to spoil your wedding day with my miserable face.”

  Marcy had heard enough, she snapped and walked away. “Yeah dad, you do whatever. I’m going back inside. I can’t be arsed with all this today. This is my wedding day, are you forgetting that?” Steve stuttered, but his daughter had left before he could reply.

  Marcy enjoyed the rest of the day and never gave her father another thought. The celebrations went on well into the late hours and everyone had a great time. Marcy was now a married woman, and she was enjoying every minute of it. Sat twisting her gold wedding band on her finger she smiled at her new husband and whispered to him. “I will love you always Sam.” The couple huddled together and shared a kiss. This was the first day of Marcy’s new life, she promised herself she would try her best to make this marriage work, there was no way in this world, she wanted it to end up like her parents did.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Harry sat in the local pub checking his watch. He was anxious and kept watching the door every time it opened. A text alert from his mobile phone was heard. After reading the message he stood to his feet and made his way to the bar. Harry was dressed to impress tonight and he looked confident. Stood talking to the barmaid he turned quickly when a hand slapped his bum cheeks. “I’ll have my usual, well, that’s if you can still remember what I drink,” the female voice giggled at the side of him. Harry smiled and ordered the drink. After his drinks were ready
he picked up the two glasses and walked back to the corner of the room where he’d got a table. Sitting down he clocked his surroundings, he was definitely trying to keep a low profile. Jenny edged closer to his side and snuggled her head in his chest. “It’s just like old times isn’t it? I knew you couldn’t resist me.” Harry pecked her on the cheek, but he seemed edgy. Jenny slurped her vodka and coke and broke into conversation. “So what’s your sister had to say about us getting back together then?”

  Harry froze, he was tapping his fingers rapidly on the table. “I’ve not told her yet. I mean, it’s early days yet and I don’t want to jump into anything quickly, we need to take our time with this.”

  Jenny screwed her face up and steam was coming out of her ears. “Listen, this is what we both want. Fuck Kerry, she’ll just have to deal with it. We’re a family and the kids need you.” Harry sank back in his chair. He’d been seeing his ex now for a few weeks but his head was still mixed up, something just didn’t feel right. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was but something was definitely missing. Jenny was all over him like a rash and he seemed to be holding back. “So, does your bird know your back with me?” Jenny asked in a cocky tone.

  Harry’s face dropped. Amanda had been lying heavily on his mind and every time he’d tried to contact her she just ignored his calls. “She knows I’m seeing you again. She just wished me luck,” he lied.

  Jenny sat proud and crossed her legs. “Well, we have history together don’t we, and kids, so she has to understand that doesn’t she?” He never answered her, he wasn’t listening. Jenny came closer to his side and gripped his hands in hers. “Shall we get married? I’ve been thinking about it and it’s the answer to our problems”

  Harry nearly dropped down dead and he licked his dry lips frantically. “What, us getting hitched? I don’t think we’re ready for that yet Jenny. We need to take this step by step. We can’t rush things. For crying out loud, a lot has happened, are you forgetting that?”