Dance of a Lifetime

by Frank Downey

  Meggan insisted on waiting to see what happened, assuring the doctor she would go to the hospital later. The cops needed her to identify him, anyway.

  They brought him in an hour later. "Meg?" one of the officers asked.

  She looked up. "That's him," was all she said.

  Curtis looked up, and saw her there, and exploded. "YOU BITCH! I TOLD YOU! YOU FUCKING BITCH!" The officer at the desk hit the record button on his tape recorder almost immediately. Curtis was still bellowing. "When I get out of here, I will KILL YOU, you BITCH! I will take that knife that you know so well, and cut you into a million fucking PIECES! You think you got it bad now I will shove a hot poker up your cunt, you SLUT! I WILL KILL YOU FOR THIS!"

  The sergeant asked the arresting officers, "Was he Mirandized?"

  "Of course."

  He looked at the desk officer. "You get that on tape?"

  "Hit record right after he started."

  "And everyone heard it, right?" They all nodded.

  Meggan was crying, while Josh tried to calm her down by massaging her shoulders. "Oh, God, I'm dead, he's going to kill me, I'm dead, I'm dead..."

  "Meggan." The officer got her attention. "Meggan, we taped that."

  "Huh?"

  "Got it on tape. And he had been read his rights, so it's useable. He just did a very very stupid thing. He gave us a glorious piece of evidence. We're going to need you to testify when we get to court, but that tape, and the doctor, will help a lot. I'm going to call the prosecutor, and recommend that the scumbag get denied bail. And when the judge hears that tape, I think he'll go along with it."

  "OK. Let me know when the bail hearing is."

  "You'd go?"

  "Yeah."

  "That would help. Judge sees you sitting there, that can only help. But now, go to the hospital."

  A cop took her and Josh to the hospital, and made sure she got taken care of. Afterwards, Josh drove her home from the police station. She had a long talk with her parents, which helped a lot.

  The bail hearing was two days later. Meggan sat and watched Curtis's lawyer do all the lawyer doublespeak, trying to get bail set at a reasonable amount. The Sergeant brought the tape, and Curtis's lawyer tried to object. The judge told him, "If he had been Mirandized, than this is useable. What do you think 'anything you say can and will be held against you' means, counselor?"

  The tape was played. Even the judge paled. After it was played, he turned to the prosecutor. "Mr. Billings, is the alleged victim in the courtroom?"

  "Yes, she is." He turned. "Stand up, Meggan."

  The judge gasped. This little, tiny girl was the victim? "What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked.

  "Meggan Carruthers."

  "How old are you?"

  "Fifteen."

  Oh my God, the judge thought to himself. What he said was, "What do you think will happen if I let Mr. Mickens out on bail?"

  Meggan said, so matter-of-factly that it made the judge's heart break, "I'll be dead, sir."

  "You're convinced of that?"

  "That's why it took me six months to tell anyone about it. If he finds me, he'll kill me. I've known that since the first time he did it."

  "Why did you change your mind, and come forward?"

  "Because I can't live like this anymore. I'd rather be dead. If this had gone on much longer, I would have killed myself, anyway." The judge was shocked-Meggan's tone of voice sounded like she had been discussing a TV show. "I don't want to die, but I don't want to be raped anymore. Before I killed myself, I decided, with the help of a friend, that I had to at least try this. If he gets out, I'm dead. But if he doesn't get out, maybe I can have a real life."

  The judge looked at Curtis, and his lawyer. "Bail denied. Lock him up."

  Meggan arrived home from school the next day. Her mother smiled at her, and said, "Perfect timing. Phone's for you."

  She took it. "Hello?"

  "Meggan? This is John Billings, from the prosecutor's office."

  "Hello, Mr. Billings. What can I do for you?"

  "No, it's what I can do for you. Did you see the coverage of your case in the TV and the newspapers?"

  "Yeah, it was kind of embarrassing. It was a topic of conversation at school."

  "I can understand why that would be uncomfortable. But it worked."

  "Worked?"

  "Two more girls stepped forward, Meggan. You weren't the only one. We've got this guy nailed."

  "Oh my God."

  Chapter 39 - Dancing and Dating

  "Hey, Sophia, I forgot to tell you," Warren began.

  "What, honey?"

  They were curled up in bed. They had finished their lovemaking, and were just cuddling. Jessie and Crash, desperate for an empty house, were downstairs on the couch, so Warren and Sophia were still upstairs, giving them privacy.

  "Murray Stevens called me."

  "Murray Stevens?"

  "He's with the USFSA. He's a judge; in fact, he was on the panel at Nationals. He also does work with the ISU, specifically with the Grand Prix series."

  "Oh. Why did he call?"

  "He wants us to do the Junior Grand Prix series next year. I have to call him back tomorrow, I told him I'd talk to you. We'd be entered in two competitions, between September and November. If we get enough points, the Series Final is in December, in Toronto. And there's prize money."

  "Did you tell him we plan to test up to seniors?"

  "Doesn't make a difference. ISU Junior is different that USFSA Junior. Internationally, you can compete as a junior if you've never medaled at Senior Worlds, and if you're under a certain age-nineteen, I think. We can do the Junior Grand Prix and still compete as Seniors at Nationals."

  Sophie smiled at him. "Let's do it!"

  "Now, we need to be sure. We'll have to travel, and it could be as far away as China or Ukraine, at the beginning of our senior year."

  "We can do it. We're good, remember?"

  Warren cracked up. "OK. We'll do it!"

  They lay silent for a minute, then heard loud moaning coming from downstairs. They both cracked up laughing.

  "Poor Jess-and Crash-it's been over a month. They can never get a place to do it. All that pent-up horniness." Sophia giggled.

  "They should have asked us to use the downstairs before this," Warren said.

  "That's what I told Jess. She felt she was imposing. I told her if she wouldn't be too embarrassed by the screams coming from upstairs, they weren't imposing at all." They both laughed.

  "Crash has the test for his license next week. He can't wait. I told him about our first experience in the back seat of a car." Sophia laughed, and hit him with a pillow.

  Meggan was sitting on her couch, watching TV. Josh was behind her on the couch, his arms around her waist. They had gotten closer and closer over the past couple months, since she had finally gone to the police. Josh took it slow, but he got more and more fond of her every day. They spent time at each other's houses, they went on dates, but there wasn't anything formal. Josh wanted to fix that.

  "Meggan, I was wondering..." he said softly into her ear.

  "Yeeeeeesssss?" She drawled, and giggled.

  "Well, I was wondering... well... if you would go out with me."

  Meggan stiffened in Josh's arms. She didn't say anything. And Josh held his breath.

  He looked at her. She was a small girl, with dainty little hands and feet. She was built fairly small, too, but definitely had all the curves in all the right places. She was blonde, with green eyes, and a small splatter of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She had her long hair in a ponytail. Her hands had been on top of his, around her waist, but she dropped them to her side. And she sighed.

  "Josh, I don't think that's a good idea."

  Josh was a little stunned. He had been nervous about asking her, but, they had gotten so close, he really didn't think she'd say no. Waitaminnit, the voice in his head said, remember what this girl has been through. Be patient.

  "Funny, I think
it's a very good idea. Best one I've had in a long time." Josh quipped. Meggan giggled softly, which was the desired response. "So, why don't you think so?" he asked her.

  "Because I don't know how much of a girlfriend I can be right now."

  "Do you like me?"

  "WHAT? Of course. Josh, I love you--" she stopped short, realizing what she just said. "Oops," she giggled, blushing. "I think I just let a very big cat out of the bag."

  "Good. You said it first. I love you, too, Meggan." Meggan giggled, and snuggled deeper into Josh's arms. "So, if we love each other, what is the problem?"

  Meggan let out a long sigh. "If I were selfish, I'd say yes, Josh. I do love you. But I don't know if I can drag you into this mess I call a life."

  "You aren't. I'm dragging myself. I asked you, remember? And, don't you think I know what I'm getting into?"

  She thought for a moment. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

  "Of course."

  "Are you a virgin?"

  "No. I had a girlfriend at my old school last year. We took each other's virginity. Repeatedly." Even Meggan laughed at that.

  "What happened?"

  "Well, we liked having sex together, but it became increasingly apparent that that was the only thing we liked doing together. If we weren't having sex, we were fighting. I finally broke it off at the beginning of the summer. Good thing, actually, because it was shortly after that that I found out we were moving. I would have hated pining over a lost love 60 miles away."

  "So, you've had a relationship that included sex."

  "Yes."

  "Josh, I don't know whether or not I can do that."

  "Did I ask you to go to bed with me? I asked you to go out with me, Meg."

  "Yeah, but can you have a relationship without..."

  "Meg. Look at me." She twisted herself around on the couch. "I want to go out with you because I love you. Now, if I told you that I didn't think you were as sexy as all get-out, I'd be lying." Meggan giggled. "But I can wait, and I don't mind, and I will never ever force you to do something you don't want to do."

  "I know that."

  "Meg, have you ever had a real boyfriend?"

  "No."

  "OK. Remember what Doctor Sorensen keeps telling you. You've never had sex-you've been raped. It's not the same thing. Remember when you told me what she said about it?"

  "Yeah. We talked about being turned on, and I told her that I don't think I ever have been. And she said I would, eventually."

  "Right."

  "And she said that when I figured out that I was getting turned on, that a lot of my fears about sex would take care of themselves."

  "Right. Meg, when you figure out that you're getting turned on, I want to be there, OK?" She laughed. "And if it takes until I'm 45, it takes until I'm 45." She just stared at him.

  "I guess, one of the things that bothers me, is why I'm not turned on now. I mean, I love you, right? I'm lying in your arms, right?"

  "Well, how do you feel?"

  "Safe. Secure. Warm. I don't think that's the equivalent of turned on, though." They both laughed.

  "Meg, you ever been kissed? Really, properly, kissed?"

  "No," she said, weakly. He leaned over, and kissed her, long but soft. She hesitated at first, then threw herself into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck.

  He broke the kiss. "So, now how do you feel?"

  She giggled. "All tingly, and slightly lightheaded."

  "There you go. I do turn you on, see? At least a little bit."

  "OK, so I think it's more than a little bit." Meggan giggled.

  "I'm willing to go slow. I could really turn you on right now, if I wanted to, but I'm willing to go slow. Meg, take a chance. I'm willing to."

  Meggan thought, and smiled. "OK, Josh, I will go out with you. You're right, if you can take a chance, so can I." She looked up at him. "Just as long as you keep kissing me!"

  "Happy to oblige," Josh said, and leaned in again.

  He broke the kiss, and Meggan looked up at him. "Oh, that reminds me," he said.

  "Yeah?"

  "Since we're now going out, will you go to the junior prom with me?"

  "Wouldn't miss it for the world!"

  "Josh asked me to go out with him last night," Meggan told Sophia. They were sitting in the peer counseling office, eating lunch.

  Sophia smiled at her. "What did you say?"

  "After much coaxing, I said yes. I said no, at first. He talked me into it."

  "Talked you into it? You didn't want to?" Sophia asked suspiciously.

  "Oh, yeah, did I want to. I worry about him. I said no at first for his sake. He's gotten himself involved with one fucked up life. He convinced me it was worth a shot, though. It was kind of hard to deny, after I told him I loved him."

  "What?" Sophia cracked up.

  "Well, when I first turned him down, he said 'Don't you like me?' and I kind of blurted out, 'Are you kidding, I love you!'"

  "Oops."

  Meggan blushed a little. "It was OK. He told me he loved me, too."

  "Great."

  "Yeah. He loves me, I love him, and we're going out. Now I just get to be terrified."

  "Oh, no you don't, Meg. He knows about you, remember? He'll go slow. I know he will."

  "I do, too. I'm not scared of him, Sophia, I'm scared of me. What if slow means nonexistent? What if I can't respond at all? What if I end up a quivering pile of terror at anything? I just don't know."

  "Well, what have you done so far?"

  "Nothing."

  "Nothing? Held hands? Kissed? Cuddled?"

  "Oh, that, yeah. We cuddle. We hold hands, but if he holds my hand or puts his arm around me if anyone else is in the room, I get a bit panicked."

  "Because the asshole raped you in front of an audience?"

  "Yeah."

  "Does Josh know about that?" Meg nodded yes. "Does he know you panic a bit at contact in public?" Meg nodded again. "What does he do?"

  Meg giggled. "He just squeezes my hand tighter. Every time he does it, it gets easier."

  "You see? Now, how about kissing, have you kissed?"

  "First time last night."

  "How'd you react to that?"

  "That was interesting. We were talking about getting turned on, and how I don't think I ever have been, and how I don't know if I can. So he asked me if I had ever been properly kissed. I said no, so he did it."

  "What happened?"

  Meg smiled. "I do believe I got turned on. It was very, very nice." She sighed a little.

  Sophia laughed. "Remember what Gwen tells you. You're an innocent. That was your first real kiss, and you reacted exactly how someone getting their first real kiss from their first real boyfriend should react. "

  "Really?"

  "Yeah, really. Meg, we're more normal than we sometimes give ourselves credit for. We both went through hell-you more than me-and we both have the scars to prove it, but you're reactions to Josh's kiss were normal."

  "What does it feel like to you when Warren kisses you?"

  "Well, that's different."

  "Why is it different?"

  "Because we've been going out a while, now, and he was not my first."

  "I thought you said Warren was the only guy who made you feel that way."

  Sophia smiled, "He is. Well, the first time we kissed, I kissed him." Meggan giggled. "Now, when we kiss, it's warm and safe-and it is a bit of a turn on-but it's more of an appetizer, a promise of things to come."

  Sophia looked at her friend and smiled. "You have to understand something, Meg-I'm a complete nymphomaniac." Meggan cracked up laughing. "Kissing is nice in itself, but when Warren kisses me, it mainly serves to wake up my 'Fuck me, Warren!' voice." Meggan was laughing so hard she almost started choking.

  Meggan and Josh decided a nice way to pass a Saturday afternoon would be to do some ice skating. They arrived at the rink, but found they were early for the group skating. They rented skates, and went into the rink j
ust to see what was going on in there.

  They saw a couple, on the ice, dancing. They were doing the same bit of steps over and over again, obviously working on something.

  "What's that?' the guy asked.

  "This here?" the girl demonstrated something. As she turned towards Meggan, she recognized them.

  "That's Warren and Sophia!"

  "So it is," agreed Josh.

  Sophia was saying, "No, when I do this, you reach around across my body. We change the hold here," she demonstrated. They did a couple more steps.

  "Ah. OK. Got it."

  "Music?" Sophia asked, and, on Warren's nod of consent, skated over to the boombox and hit play.

  The sounds of Frank Sinatra filled the rink. Warren and Sophia danced around the ice to "How Little It Matters" and "I've Got You Under My Skin," the two Sinatra songs that were their new free dance. The dance wasn't completely done-there were still some holes in the choreography-but it was getting there. They ran through it once, doing what they had and skating through the rest.

  "Wow, they're really good," Meggan commented.

  "They were second in the country in the Junior division of Ice Dance back in January." Josh told her.

  "Really? Wow,"

  The dance finished, and Josh and Meggan started applauding. Sophia and Warren looked up in surprise.

  "Josh! Meggan! What are you guys doing here?" Sophia called. They skated over to where Josh and Meggan were.

  "We came to skate a little. Nice Saturday afternoon date. Now I don't want to get my clumsy self on the ice!" Meg said.

  "Ah, we're competitive ice dancers. Don't be intimidated by us." Warren grinned.

  "Yeah, Josh told me."

  "Can you guys do that on the floor, too?" Josh asked.

  "To a point," Sophia smiled. "We take ballroom, to help with this. So, we can cut a pretty impressive rug. However, ice is our preferred dance surface." They all laughed at that.

  "Still, you all will be pretty impressive at the prom, no doubt." Meg opined.

  "The problem with that is the prom will probably be chock-a-block of all that whacka-whacka-whacka boom boom boom stuff that passes for music nowadays. I doubt a junior prom nowadays will have a whole lot of Sinatra in it," Warren observed wryly. "Shit, I might be deprived of even the Beatles."