Coming Home

by Julie Sellers

  “So what’s on the agenda for the rest of the day?”

  “I’ve got to spend some time with Brenna, but I have a few minutes to show you around first, make sure you know how to get to Mom and Molly and the rest of the amenities.”

  At the mention of the mythical Brenna, she bristled, trying once again to picture the wunderkind she’d heard so much about.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Sure, one second.” Lillie grabbed her purse and room key and followed Jonathan out the door.

  He traveled down the long corridor away from the central staircase, past at least twenty guestrooms and around a corner to a fire door marked stairway. Jon took the stairs two at a time and exited the stairwell in a service area. Lillie followed Jon through a swinging door and they entered the main showroom.

  One wall held canoes and another, kayaks; still another displayed hundreds of paddles in different lengths, materials and configurations. The center aisles boasted everything needed for canoeing and camping in the Boundary Waters, from traditional ash woven portage packs that looked like big baskets with leather backpack straps, to the latest in outdoor gear from The North Face and Columbia.

  Jon paused to allow her time to take it all in then took her arm and led her up an open flight of stairs to a loft area. Once they reached the top, Lillie noticed several desks set up in an open concept office area and a row of computer workstations, each with an operator seated in front of them with a telephone and a headset.

  “These lovely ladies take care of our catalog and internet customer service and orders.” All of the women were currently on the phone but several waved at Jonathan by way of greeting.

  Jon pushed though a set of French doors and propped one open with an old butter churn full of pussy willows and cattails. Inside there were two desks, facing each other. At one, the desk that was neat and tidy, sat a thin brunette in her late twenties, if Lillie had to guess. She was talking animatedly into the telephone and gesturing excitedly at the figures contained in the spreadsheet on the large, but slim monitor stationed on the corner of her desk.

  She placed the phone back in its cradle as they entered and turned with a brilliant smile to Jon. “You’ll never guess who that was!”

  “Hmm,” Jonathan pretended to consider her question for a moment. “Hoover wanting to discuss his ideas for an IPO?”

  “Jon. Can you believe it? He thinks he can get upwards of eight dollars per share!”

  “Huh,” Jonathan considered. “Catalog sales only; be firm about that.”

  Brenna jumped from her seat and greeted him with a long, full body hug and a smacking kiss on the cheek. She laughed, and as to start the conversation over said, “You’re back so soon!”

  “I’ve been back half the day, lazybones,” Jon said and returned her embrace. “You’d know that if you’d been up an’ at ‘em, sleepy head.”

  “I took your tour of hoodlums. I was exhausted!”

  Great. She’s not only beautiful but she must be a decent outdoorswoman as well to be able to handle a tour of teens.

  “Ah, you’re forgiven then,” he said then kissed her on the forehead. “And here I supposed you’d spent the night carousing.”

  “Hardly. In this one-horse town?”

  Lillie watched the verbal volley and noted how comfortable the two of them seemed together. Her mind wandered from the conversation at hand, as she wondered just how comfortable they actually were with one another, so she was surprised to hear Jonathan say her name.

  “Lillie?’

  “Yes? I’m sorry.”

  “Did you need more rest? The tour can wait.”

  “No, no,” she pulled her attention back to the present, “I’m fine, just taking in the view,” she said as she gestured out the large window overlooking the main showroom.

  “Pretty impressive, isn’t it?” the lovely Brenna replied.

  “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

  “I’m Brenna,” she said, offering her hand.

  “Lillie.”

  “Mother said you’d arrived. It was so nice that you helped Jonny bring our Molly home.”

  Lillie bristled at her familiarity. This was not Molly’s home. She lived in LaSalle, and she nearly said as much, but thought better of it. There was no need to discuss their family saga with Brenna.

  “It was no trouble.” Lillie paused and couldn’t help but add, “I’m sure it will be just for a little while. Donna will be back on her feet in no time.”

  Brenna’s brows knit together. “Really, I—’’

  Jonathan appeared at Lillie’s side and interrupted, “Are you ready?”

  “Oh, yes,” Lillie answered just as the phone rang.

  Brenna reached for it just as Jonathan opened a door to reveal yet another stairway.

  “Yes,” Brenna said into the phone. “Just a moment. He’s right here. Jon, it’s for you. Hoover says he’s got to include the showroom.”

  Jonathan looked conflicted, but accepted the handset Brenna held out to him. “I’m sorry Lillie. I need to take this.”

  “No problem. I can wait,” she answered as Jonathan turned to the telephone and began searching for a pen under the messy papers on the top of what she assumed was his desk.

  “Lillie, Jon could be a while. Let me take you around.”

  Lillie hesitated for a moment, but wasn’t about to miss an opportunity to get to know Brenna better. “Sure, I’d appreciate it.” Lillie smiled at Brenna, but the smile didn’t quite make it to her eyes.

  “Who was it that said, ‘Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer?’ ”

  “Sun Tzu,” Brenna said with a confused look on her face.

  “Excuse me?” Lillie asked.

  “Sun Tzu said, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” Brenna answered.

  Lillie turned red, embarrassed. She’d actually uttered the words.

  “Is everything okay?” Brenna asked, more puzzled than offended, clearly not registering Lillie’s slip of the tongue.

  “It’s fine. I guess I just didn’t get enough sleep. I’m sorry,” Lillie apologized and offered a smile.

  “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t sleep much myself last night. This last bunch of Jon’s was a wild one. I had dawn patrol to make sure they all stayed in their tents.”

  Grateful to change the subject, Lillie replied, “That must have been challenging.”

  “It was. Makes me never want to have children of my own, that’s for sure,” Brenna said.

  “Really, never?”

  “No, I don’t think so. I’m too busy and there are big things happening around here. I think it would be difficult to do both things well.”

  “And you are not the type of person to do anything half way, if I had to hazard a guess.”

  “Right in one.” Brenna laughed. “Jon is always giving me a hard time about it, but someone needs to take care of the details.”

  “That’s what I always told him, too,” Lillie said and oddly felt a strange sort of kinship with Brenna.

  Lillie felt ungainly and almost clumsy as she followed the graceful Brenna down the stairs. “Have you seen the front showroom?” Brenna asked.

  “Yes, we came though that way from the inn.”

  “What do you think of all of this?” Brenna had reached the bottom of the stairs and paused to face Lillie.

  “I’m amazed. I can’t believe everything Jon has accomplished, that you all have accomplished.”

  “He has worked very hard without a break, for years.”

  “I can tell.”

  “Dad says he’s chased by demons.”

  “Oh—’’

  “But I’d say it was something else.” Brenna stopped at the base of the stairs and turned to Lillie.

  Lillie didn’t speak, just waited patiently for Brenna to continue.

  “We’re all so fond of Jonny. We’re a family, all of us, more than business associates.”

  “I can see you are quite the team.”
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  “We look out for one another,” was all that Brenna said, although Lillie could tell she debated about saying more, but decided against it. Even so, Lillie got the message loud and clear.

  They’d close ranks if they felt it was necessary to protect Jon, even from her if need be. The lines were drawn and as far as Brenna was concerned, Lillian was the outsider.

  Brenna said nothing else, but turned and let Lillie through yet another door. On the other side, she paused, and Lillie once again took stock in her new surroundings. The rear wall of the spacious room housed a long counter with several computer terminals and telephones. The wall to their immediate left boasted a huge floor to ceiling map of the Boundary Waters Canoe Area, or BWCA and Quantico National Park on the Canadian side.

  There were dozens of pushpins in a rainbow of colors with lines intersecting every which way.

  “This is command central for tours and the water craft livery.”

  “I see. Are the lines tours?”

  “Yes, and the yellow pins are our licensed campsites. The green are cabins we share with Log Cabin Hideaways, and the blue are ours.”

  “So many cabins,” Lillie said, scanning the huge map.

  “Sixty-seven, I think, at last count. We’re here.” Brenna indicated a miniature sign with the Oleson’s logo.

  Lillie reached up and traced her finger across the town, followed it though Triangle Lake, across the portage to Lark Lake. There she noticed a blue pin.

  “I’ve been to Lark Lake.”

  “You have? Recently?” Brenna had a look Lillie couldn’t interpret.

  Lillie shook her head. “No, no. Years ago.”

  “That cabin is very small.”

  “I wonder if it’s the same one?” Lillie said, almost to herself.

  Brenna looked at her quizzically. “I don’t know…I do know that there aren’t many cabins on Lark.”

  “Can I get a Kayak for in the morning?” Lillie asked Brenna, tearing her eyes and fingers away from the map.

  “Sure,” Brenna said, moving behind the counter to tap the computer’s keyboard. “Type?”

  “Kevlar?” Lillie replied.

  “All set,” Brenna said when she’d finished the reservation. “Just come down here in the morning and give Kevin your room number. That will bring up your reservation.”

  Lillie’s fingers again traced Lark Lake and the pin representing the cabin, on the map. She realized she was being rude, and finally answered absently, “Great.”

  Then Brenna did something that shocked Lillie, especially in light of their conversation of only moments before. She walked around the counter and placed a single key in Lillie’s hand. The key fob attached to it was blue and said simply, “Lark.”

  Did she know, Lillie wondered. Did she have any idea what the cabin was to her and Jon? Lillie wasn’t sure, but tears welled in Lillie’s eyes as she managed to say, “Thank you.”

  Brenna reached out, squeezed her hand, and said, “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  “Hey, boss.” Brenna shook her dark curls over her shoulder and looked up at Jonathan as he sat in the chair opposite hers in the antique partner’s desk.

  Jon smiled. Brenna still called him boss. She’d been the COO for three years. He owned the company, but she ran the show.

  “Bren,” he swallowed and looked down at his hands, clasping his legs just above the top of his knees.

  “The sales projections are a little farther off than I had originally estimated for the showroom, but catalog sales are maintaining a double digit increase over this quarter last year.”

  “I wanted to talk to you about something personal.”

  Her hands stilled on the pile of paperwork she tidied. “Personal?”

  “Well…” The phone at her elbow trilled. Jonathan stopped mid-sentence and exhaled. Her eyes went to it, but she didn’t pick it up. “We’re never going to get any privacy in here. Let’s go get some air.”

  Brenna retrieved her coat from the hall tree by the door, followed him from the office and down the stairs. They followed a well-worn path towards the lake. Neither spoke and they walked side by side for several minutes.

  Finally, Brenna cleared her throat. “Are you okay, Jonathan? I know how tough it is to watch people we love go through something like this,” Brenna said, speaking about Donna and her cancer diagnosis.

  “It’s definitely not easy.”

  “You were so wonderful to us when dad had his heart attack. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”

  Jonathan shrugged off her compliment. “If anything, it’s made me understand how fleeting life is. How time passes, and we can’t ever get it back.”

  They neared the lake and walked over to a log, just wide enough for the two of them to sit. They often walked these paths to discuss the business. The cool air and sunshine helped their decision making process more than any of the charts or graphs Brenna so painstakingly kept track of inside.

  Before his trip back to LaSalle, they shared a beer here…and more. A kiss. The first time they’d crossed that line between friends and lovers. Moments later, he’d gotten the phone call from his mother telling him the news from her biopsy.

  Was it only a week ago? Years of hiding from his past—wiped out in a fortnight of Lillie. Just the thought of her made him dizzy. He’d felt like the steel ball on a roulette table ever since he’d seen her again. He had no idea if Lillie could ever forgive him, but he knew it wasn’t fair to feel everything he felt for his ex-wife without being honest with Brenna.

  She’d been his best friend, confidant and partner. He’d built an empire with Brenna and he thought maybe they’d build more. But he knew it couldn’t happen. Shouldn’t happen. He loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her and he knew now, he never would be. He’d given his heart away a long time before.

  He’d run a thousand miles but he might as well have gone nowhere. He’d known within moments of seeing Lillie again, nothing had changed. Even the old beaten up, scarred and shattered heart of his still had a few beats left in it. He couldn’t be more surprised. He hadn’t planned to ever see her again, let alone love her. Again. Still.

  Brenna squeezed his arm. He looked at the ground, and didn’t take her hand in his as he’d done in the past. He cleared his throat and moved a pebble from side to side with his boot.

  “I don’t really know what to say.”

  “About…” Her voice had an edge to it now, and he looked at her.

  “Well, the last time we were here.” He untangled his arm from her grasp and bent to pick up the pebble.

  “Ah.” Brenna’s cheeks colored, and she exhaled the breath she’d been holding.

  “I thought…”

  “I thought maybe, too but…I’m sorry. ” she said.

  “See, you were the first person I met when I came to Minnesota. And then you were such a big part of the business and eventually, you sort of became the woman in my life, you know?”

  “And you’ve been the only man in mine.” Brenna shrugged then added, “For a long time.”

  “I thought maybe we should move to the next phase. See where things went…”

  Brenna grinned. “Like you’ve done with the business. Grow, Stabilize, Capitalize, Repeat.”

  He pursed his lips. “For God's sake, Bren, I wasn’t planning a hostile takeover.”

  Brenna’s smile faded, and she pulled back to meet his eyes. “Everyone assumed it was the logical step, and I guess I did, too.”

  Brenna stood and wiped her palms of the legs of her jeans. “But it never happened and when we kissed I realized there was a reason for that.”

  Jonathan stood and enveloped her in a friendly hug. “I wanted it to work, Bren.”

  “I know you did,” she said and returned the hug full-force. “So did I…but it didn’t.”

  “No,” he agreed.

  “I think today, I met the reason why.”

  “I loved Lillie more than life�
�did you know that?” He wiped the pebble on the sleeve of his flannel shirt, as if to polish it.

  She nodded. “I always assumed she’d broken your heart.”

  “I know I led you to believe that, but it’s not true. If anyone did the heart breaking, it was me.”

  “Really? You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “No, I waited for her to fall asleep one night. I left her a letter on her pillow and walked out the door,” he said, voice flat and unforgiving.

  Brenna shook her head as if trying to assimilate good man she’d known for years with someone who would do something like that. “There would have been a reason. You wouldn’t just leave.”

  “There was a reason. I was a coward.” Jon’s hand flashed and grabbed the rock out of the air.

  “You couldn’t—’’

  “I didn’t want to face a problem I knew had no solution for. So I ran. I came here, and I tried to make a new life.” His fist shook, the stone bounced inside.

  “You did make a new life.” Brenna walked around the back of the log. “Look at everything you’ve done here. Everything we’ve built.”

  “But I didn’t deserve it.”

  Brenna’s hands shook with emotion, and she reached out to him. “We changed this entire area. Saved this town from near extinction and I don’t know how many teenagers you’ve saved from themselves…”

  “I turned my back on my first life to do it!” Jonathan’s voice roared, and the words came back to them in an echo across the lake.

  “I think you have to make peace with that before can do anything else.”

  Jonathan pulled his arm back and flung the pebble with all his might. It bounded across the water and hit, one, two, three times before it sunk into the depths.

  “Are you still in love with her?” Brenna asked.

  Even as he spoke the words, he knew they were a lie. “I don’t know.”

  * * *

  The kayak’s paddle felt good in Lillie’s hands. Her children were too small and too rambunctious to function safely in such a small, confined watercraft so it had been years since she’d been on the water totally under her own steam. She’d loved to kayak in her former life, loved the feel of the water tapping the Kevlar under her legs, the exhilaration of fighting the elements and being in tune with the currents.