Mr. January

by Ann Roth

  He made the matter sound like life and death. All Samantha cared about was that he go back where he came from as soon as possible and never bother them again—after he signed the papers Dwight Cornell had drawn up. “Let me get this straight…. If I forgive you, you’ll go away?”

  “It has to be both you and William. Then yes, I’ll leave.”

  The idea that her son forgive what he didn’t even understand chafed at her. “Be reasonable. He’s only five years old. He doesn’t know you except that you haven’t been around.”

  “Then I expect we’ll need to spend time together. I have no doubt that as he comes to know me, he will forgive me.”

  Hardly an appealing idea. She narrowed her eyes. “Exactly how long are you planning to stay in Guff’s Lake?”

  “As long as it takes.”

  Chills ran up her spine, and she fought to rein in her rising panic. “Don’t you have to get back? What about Harmony?”

  “She and Leader Aadi both understand how important this is.”

  What if his end goal was to slowly slip back into William’s life and eventually convince her son to live with him and Kayla?

  Samantha told herself to get a grip and be rational—that didn’t seem like what he wanted—but her fear overpowered everything else.

  So much so, that she didn’t dare step into her office, where she’d locked the parental rights document in the desk drawer. She simply didn’t trust Jeff enough to leave him alone in the house, especially with William alone in the basement.

  Why hadn’t she kept the papers within easy reach?

  She crossed her arms to hide her trembling hands. “If you think you can take William away from me, think again.”

  Jeff had the gall to look offended. “I would never do that, Samantha.”

  “And I should believe you why?”

  “Because I give you my word.”

  She curled her lip. “That doesn’t mean much to me.”

  “Why are you talking so loud, Mom?” William asked as he returned to the living room wearing his hat.

  “I don’t know, honey. I guess to make sure Jeff heard what I said.”

  “Bhodi,” he reminded her. “You look like a firefighter in that hat, William.”

  “It’s pretend. Adam is a real firefighter.”

  Jeff frowned. “I thought Adam was a little boy.”

  “No, he’s a man, and he’s my friend.”

  “Ah.” A speculative look crossed the bearded man’s face. He angled his chin at Samantha. “You and Adam are together.”

  She didn’t miss her son’s yearning look. He wanted the same thing she did—to have Adam in their lives permanently. It wasn’t going to happen, not in the way they both wanted.

  She shook her head. “We’re friends, that’s all.”

  William removed the hat and hugged it to his chest. “Mom, I want to take a nap.”

  Samantha’s jaw dropped. He never asked to nap. “As long as it’s a short one. Otherwise, you’ll be up until midnight. Go on upstairs. I’ll see Bhodi out and then come tuck you in.”

  As her son trudged toward the stairs, Jeff called out, “I’ll be back tomorrow, William.”

  “I don’t want you to come.”

  Samantha should have scolded him for his rudeness, but she agreed with him.

  “He’s not my friend, and I don’t want him here,” he repeated.

  Jeff looked so crushed she actually felt sorry for him. Which went to show what a basket case she was.

  “We’ll talk about this later,” she told her son.

  “What time should I come tomorrow?” Jeff asked at the door.

  Had he not heard William? Samantha shook her head. “Tomorrow won’t work.”

  “I need to come back.”

  His lips thinned stubbornly, and she knew he wouldn’t be put off for long. Just as well. She needed him to come back and sign the document relinquishing his paternal rights. But William needed some time, and she would honor that.

  “I’ll text and let you know when. Bye.” She all but pushed him out the door.

  Chapter Eighteen

  ‡

  Samantha found her son sitting on the bedroom floor, looking at a book. “I thought you wanted to take a nap.”

  “I’m not tired. Mom, I don’t like Bhodi. You don’t like him, either.”

  She’d never known William to hide in his room in order to get away from someone. Shocked but understanding, she sank down beside him.

  “You’re right. But without him, you wouldn’t be here.”

  “I still don’t want him for my dad. I want Adam.”

  The words caught her totally off-guard, especially coming on the heels of Jeff’s visit. She put her arm around her son. “Adam’s a great guy, for sure. But for him to be your dad, he and I would have to love each other and get married.”

  “Why don’t you love each other?”

  Oh, she was definitely on the verge of loving Adam, but the feeling was not mutual. She managed a smile. “That’s just how things go sometimes. We like each other a lot, though.”

  “Adam really likes me.”

  “That’s true. Now, about Jeff. He won’t be in town too long, but you heard him say that while he’s here, he wants to see you again.”

  “Do I have to?”

  “Yes. Not tomorrow, but how about the day after?”

  “Then will he go away?”

  “That’s what I’m hoping.”

  Samantha silently vowed to do everything possible to make Jeff “go away.” If things went as they should, the legal document she gave him would do the trick.

  *

  Between an apartment fire, a couple of false alarms, and reviewing stuff he already knew cold for the exam, Adam spent a reasonably busy Tuesday. During the lulls between calls, while he worked out in the gym and helped prepped the fire engine for the next call, he thought about Sam and William and her ex. She knew how to be tough, and could take care of herself.

  But picturing her ex in the house, talking to her, looking at her…. That made him nuts.

  By dinner, he was close to losing it, and the Captain and his buds knew it. They didn’t even razz him about his test tomorrow or his feelings for Sam.

  On clean up duty after the mea, he was clearing platters from the table when his cell phone pinged, signaling a text.

  “It’s from Sam,” he said, relieved to finally hear from her.

  “Go ahead and phone her,” Rafe offered. “I’ll take care over cleanup. You do it for me next time.”

  “No need. She’s going call after William falls asleep.”

  When the kitchen was spic and span and the rest of the evening chores done, Adam checked his watch. William’s bedtime had come and gone, and any minute now, he’d hear from Sam. For privacy, he stepped out front, into the crisp, clear night.

  As he headed out to walk around the well-lit building, his cell phone rang. “Hey.” Keen to get to the nitty-gritty, he didn’t wait for a greeting. “And?”

  “It was pretty awful.”

  If her ex had laid even a finger on her…. Adam stiffened. “Tell me.”

  “Take it easy. He didn’t hurt me.”

  Adam rolled his shoulders. “For his sake, that’s good.”

  “You should have seen him. Too thin, with long hair and a bushy beard. He looks like a bum in clean clothes.”

  “I’ll bet William liked that.”

  “Not at all. He didn’t like Jeff…I mean Bhodi period. That’s the name he goes by now.”

  “Bhodi, huh? Interesting. Did he say what he wanted?”

  “Yes. At least he waited ’til William was out of hearing range. He’s here to, and I quote, ‘atone for his sins,’ so that he can become an elder at Peace Village.”

  Adam frowned. “I don’t follow.”

  “You’re out of breath.”

  Adam realized he was moving at quite a clip. Chalk that up to stress. “I’m walking around the building. Atoning for his sins?
”

  “According to Jeff, atoning means apologizing to William and me. Apparently, the head guy at Peace Village insisted he do that in person.”

  “Did he apologize?”

  “He said he was sorry for cheating on me with Kayla, who by the way, changed her name to Harmony, and for walking out the way he did.” She sniffed. “As if one apology makes up for anything. I lost my cool.”

  Adam wished he could have seen that. “Yeah?”

  “I told him off, and suggested that if he wanted to pay me back and finish paying off the rest of the debt he saddled me with, I might be more agreeable. Of course, he ignored the idea. That’s when I got scared.”

  Stopping mid-stride, Adam tensed. “Did he threaten you?”

  “In a sense. Jeff believes that becoming an elder will help him on his spiritual path. Don’t ask me why because I have no idea. Becoming an elder requires him to atone, but he also needs both me and William to forgive him.”

  “Forgiveness from a little kid?” Adam frowned into the darkness.

  “Exactly my reaction.”

  “Are you going to forgive him?”

  “Never.” Her voice rang with conviction.

  Adam understood. He also knew holding onto blame could cause heavy damage to the person doing the blaming. Just look at the old man. Hell, look at his own self. “That’d be hard, all right.”

  “I sense a ‘but.’”

  “I’m not saying you should forgive him, only that it might help if you did.”

  “Do you want to hear what happened or not?”

  Looked as if forgiveness was off the table. “Go on.”

  “Jeff intends to stay in Guff’s Lake for as long as it takes him to earn our forgiveness.”

  No wonder she was scared. “I don’t like that at all.”

  She swallowed audibly. “The thing is, he and Kayla don’t have children, and… and I think his end goal is to get William comfortable with him, and then take him to Peace Village, so he and Kayla can raise him.”

  “He said that?”

  “He actually promised the opposite, that he would never try to take William from me. But I don’t trust him.”

  With Jeff’s track record, Adam didn’t blame her. “William would never want to leave you, Sam. You’re his mother,” he reasoned. “And remember, you have Dwight Cornell on your side, and probably any court of law in the country. Jeff would never be able to take William from you.”

  “So I keep assuring myself, and yet…. If you could have seen and heard him…. I can’t help but worry.”

  Adam swore. “You showed him the legal form, right?”

  “I assumed I wouldn’t need it today. I didn’t have it nearby, and I was uncomfortable leaving the room to get it. Then William came back, and Jeff and I couldn’t talk anymore. I’ll give it to him next time I see him.”

  “Which is when?”

  “He asked to visit again tomorrow, only William didn’t want him here. I’m thinking Thursday. I’ll invite him to come while William is in kindergarten so we can talk. I’ll give him the document then. Which reminds me, I need to let Jana know I’ll be skipping this week’s knitting class.”

  “You also might want to check in with Dwight.”

  “If I feel the need, I will. By the way, your name came up when William showed Jeff his firefighter hat.”

  Adam wasn’t sure why that pleased him. “He mentioned me?”

  “Yes, and now Jeff thinks you and I are together.”

  She paused, and Adam figured he should say something. He scratched his head and tried to come up with a comment, but Sam beat him to it.

  “I explained that you and I are friends.”

  He couldn’t figure a response to that, either.

  She hurried on, as if she wanted to fill in the awkward silence between them. “Then, later, William…. Never mind.”

  “What?”

  “It’s nothing. Now, you know what happened.”

  “I appreciate you filling me in. You going to be able to sleep tonight?”

  “I’d better. I’m exhausted. You?”

  “That’s the plan, unless we get a bunch of calls.”

  “For your sake, let it be a quiet night. You need to be rested when you take the test tomorrow. You’re going to ace that thing.”

  “From your mouth to God’s ears.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  ‡

  As soon as Samantha finished prepping the kitchen for the morning baking Wednesday night, she reached for her cell phone. She wanted to update Jana on the latest, and also get some reassurance. With Jeff due back in the morning, she needed the support. As she accessed her friend’s number, the doorbell rang. She was so jittery she dropped her cell phone.

  Outside, the motion lights blazed through the darkness. Through the peephole she saw Adam. She hadn’t heard from him today, but he’d been busy with his exam.

  Oh, it was good to see him. She held the door open with a welcoming smile. “You must have survived the test. You’re alive.”

  “Barely. But it’s over.” Inside, he hung his jacket on the doorknob.

  Samantha opened her mouth to ask if he thought he’d passed, when he stepped in close and kissed her. The question faded from her mind.

  Relishing the feel of his strong arms around her, and wanting to forget her troubles for a little while, she lost herself in sensations. Adam’s spicy aftershave and masculine scent, his hard, warm body and attentive lips. She melted on the spot, growing limp with desire and aching for more.

  All too soon, he released her.

  “I’ve been thinking about that since I finished the exam,” he said. “Now I’m good.”

  Samantha felt better, too. “Can I get you a beer or a glass of wine?”

  He shook his head. “Alcohol would put me to sleep. Let’s sit.”

  They settled on the couch, his arm circling her shoulders. Samantha couldn’t help but snuggle into his side. “Tell me about the test.”

  “It wasn’t easy, and took me several hours.” Looking exhausted, he scrubbed a weary hand over his face.

  “When will you know if you passed?”

  “In a couple of days. Next comes the physical, and then, if things fall into place the way they should, the head honchos will contact me in for an interview.”

  “I’ll be rooting for you.”

  “Thanks. Jeff comes again tomorrow, right?”

  “Like it or not.” She sighed. “He agreed that we should talk while William is in kindergarten. This time, I’ll be ready with the legal paper in hand. Once he signs and has it notarized, he can bring it back, see William, and say good-bye. At least that’s the plan.”

  “If he doesn’t want to fork out a lot money or go to jail, signing and leaving are his only alternatives.” Adam cupped her nape. “You’re super tense.”

  “I can’t help that. I doubt I’ll be able to relax until I have Jeff’s notarized signature on that document.”

  “Too much tension is bad for you. I can help. Turn around.”

  She moved so her back was to him. Slowly, he massaged her nape, shoulders, and lower back, spreading lovely heat wherever he touched.

  “Ditch that shirt and bra and I’ll do a more thorough job,” he said.

  Glancing at him over her shoulder, she widened her eyes. “Why, Mr. Healey, are you trying to seduce me?”

  “I might be. It’s been a while since we fooled around. Way too long.”

  Samantha agreed. While her common sense did battle with her hunger, Adam made room for her to stretch out on the couch.

  “Lie down and get comfy.” He flipped off the reading lamp.

  Samantha hadn’t bothered with a fire tonight, and light from the entry bathed the room in soft shadow. She removed her shirt and her bra, then lay on her stomach.

  Using the coffee table as his seat, Adam worked at the knots in her shoulders. Dissolving the kinks one by one, until her muscles relaxed and she felt like melted butter. She moaned
. “That feels really good.”

  “So will this.”

  He slid his hands to her breasts, but her nipples pressed against the cushion. Burning for his touch, she whispered, “Let me turn over.”

  Once she was on her back, Adam did all the things she enjoyed, licking and sucking and stroking.

  She was restless and aching for more, when he broke off and pulled her to a sitting position.

  “I want you, Sam.” His smoldering gaze combed over her swollen breasts, making her feel sexy and desired. “If we keep on like this, I won’t be able to stop, and we will make love.”

  Wanting to be with him in that most intimate way, she nodded.

  “Know that I can’t make you any promises. Are you okay with that?”

  She shouldn’t be, but she wanted him so much—too much to push him away. “I’m not asking for promises,” she said. “But there is a problem. I’m not on the pill, and I don’t have any protection.”

  His eyes darkened. “Is that a yes?”

  “Not without protection.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “It just so happens I have a condom or two in my pocket.”

  “You planned this.” She crossed her arms and slanted him a look.

  He gave an unapologetic grin. “It pays to be prepared. Let’s go to bed.” He drew her to her feet and then tugged her toward the stairs.

  Her bedroom stood at the opposite end of the hall from William’s. As soon as they crossed the threshold, Adam shut and locked the door. Samantha had closed the curtains and removed the spread earlier.

  He dug into his hip pocket and pulled out several foil packets, which he tossed onto the nightstand. Moments later, he shrugged out of his shirt, kicked off his shoes and held out his arms.

  “Come here,” he directed in the gruff, aroused voice that set off tremors inside her.

  Without hesitation, Samantha complied. Bare breasts against bare chest—heaven.

  Adam groaned and held her for a moment before capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. “Let’s get naked,” he murmured against her lips.

  Breathing hard, they shed their jeans.

  Adam had seen Samantha naked before, but she’d never seen him. His powerful thighs and muscled legs were every bit as gorgeous and fit as his torso. His erection tented the fabric of his gray boxers.