by J. Lea
“No, no, it’s okay. I’m up now,” he said. “Is something wrong? You never call this early.”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” I slapped a hand on my forehead.
“What is it, yes or no?” he chuckled.
“Do you want to go out tonight? Dancing?”
“I’m not saying no to that. When and where?” he wanted to know.
“Nine, the usual place.”
“Okay, I’ll be there. And I’ll bring Drake,” he whispered.
“Is he with you right now?”
“Yes,” I felt his radiant smile over the phone.
A few minutes before nine p.m., I was ready to party. I was wearing the most skin-tight dress I could find in my closet. It was green, short, and daring, topped with sky-high heels. It looked like I was ready to hunt men. And that’s exactly what I was going to do. I planned to forget Parker because all I’d been doing the past week was think about his lips kissing another girl, his hands caressing another girl’s body, and the way he smiled at a woman who wasn’t me. I was angry, disappointed, and mostly sad. But, it was time to banish him from my mind for good. Tonight was going to help with that – I would drink, dance, and put all my worries aside.
When my phone beeped, announcing Elias and Drake were already downstairs, I dashed through the door to the car. They were waiting for me in front of the building, and they bulged their eyes when they saw me.
“Um, you look—“
“I know, like a hooker.” I bypassed them, and plopped on the back seat of Elias’s car.
“I meant to say different,” Elias said, as he sat down in the driver’s seat.
“I just need to get drunk and forget about the world. I’ve had a rough week.”
He turned his head back, his eyebrow shooting up to his hairline. “As far as I’m concerned, every day can be a rough day if you’re wearing this at the end of it. And keep your knees together. I doubt you’d want to show everyone what you are or aren’t wearing underneath,” he chuckled.
“Like it’s not something you’ve seen a million times before,” I rolled my eyes.
“Sorry, Drake, usually she’s not such a bitch,” Elias said to Drake.
I completely forgot we had an audience. “I’m sorry. I’m Lori,” I reached over to the passenger’s side to shake hands.
“Drake,” he nodded and smiled at me. “Bad day, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
Three tequilas later, my mood improved significantly. I draped myself all over Drake and Elias, sang loudly along with popular songs playing on the speakers, and moving seductively to the music. Men danced with me, whispered sweet nothings in my ear, and I had a great time. Elias and Drake soon started making out on the dance floor, and I found it incredibly hot as I’d never before seen two men kissing.
“Holy cow, that’s hot!” I giggled. They both looked at me with their eyebrows raised. “Please, don’t stop on my account.”
“Lori, I think you’ve had enough alcohol for one night,” Elias grinned at me.
“What? No! I only just started.” I stumbled. Elias and Drake each grabbed one of my arms. “Whoops.” Plastering a hand over my mouth, I giggled. “Mmm, you smell so nice. Parker always smelled so nice. Why can’t other men be more like you two? Men are bastards.” I paused for a second. “Maybe I should switch to women. What do you think?”
They exchanged glances, and sat me down at an unoccupied table at the side of the dance floor. Elias asked Drake to get me a bottle of water, and sat beside me.
“No water!” I yelled at Drake’s retreating back. “Bring me another shot of tequila.” I doubted he heard me.
“What?” I batted my eyelashes at Elias. “I’m thirsty.” He looked worried. I hiccupped, and then giggled right after.
“What’s with that Parker guy? Haven’t you long forgotten him by now? It’s been ages since you’ve last seen him. I thought you had a new boyfriend.”
I waved my hand in the air, almost hitting Elias on the nose. “Parker is the new guy. They’re one and the same. God, he’s hot. He’s got such a firm butt, and his hands… Elias, if you only knew the things he could do with them.” I leaned on the cold surface of the table with my eyes closed. “I thought he had feelings for me. We had such a great time together. Men,” I raised my head again, and poked him with my finger. “Men are all the same. No, you’re different. You’re my best friend. I love you. You’d never hurt me,” I mumbled.
“What are you talking about? How is Parker the new guy?”
“Hello! The new guy I’ve been seeing is the old Parker. One and the same person, doh!” I threw my arms in the air dramatically. “But we’re no longer together. I guess blondes are better,” I snorted.
“Okay, Lori, you’re drunk. I think you’re a little delirious.”
I shot him a glare. My eyes focused on the person behind him, standing by the bar. “Huh, maybe you’re right. I keep seeing him everywhere. I really am delirious, because he’s standing right there,” I pointed my finger at him. “And he’s still so sexy. Why is he still so hot? Can I be even more pathetic?”
Elias turned around to see whom I was talking about. “What are you babbling about? That’s Mr. Thorn standing there.” He looked back at me, and glanced back to Parker, then returned his gaze to me. “Oh, God, Lori. Am I thinking correctly? Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Hey, where is that water you were talking about? Drake!” I ignored his comment and turned around to see if Drake was close.
“Lori, are you seeing our teacher?”
“What?” I slurred.
“Did you get involved with one of our teachers?”
No!” I quickly exclaimed, too quickly. Only then did I realize what I let slip out of my mouth. I told him the only secret I meant to carry to my grave.
“What were you thinking?” he scolded me.
“There’s nothing going on between us, okay?” I stood up, and started making my way through the crowd to the exit, moving unsteadily on my high heels, bumping at people. Elias was right behind me.
“I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner. It was so obvious,” he shook his head.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Lori, please stop.” I ignored him, so he grabbed my wrist and stopped me. “I’m not going to tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about. You know you’re my best friend, and I’d never hurt you.” He had my attention, so I looked him in the eyes. “I won’t tell anyone,” he repeated.
I nodded. “I know. There’s not much to tell, anyway. We’re over. O-v-a-r,” I spelled out. “That wasn’t right, was it?” I wrinkled my nose and tried again. “O-v-a-r,” I spat out. Elias was trying his hardest to keep a straight face, but he was failing. “Ah, who cares, we’re done. Finished. Fin. Finito. Ende. Konec. Ha, and here I thought I wasn’t any good at languages,” I muttered to myself.
Elias just shook his head and sighed. “What happened?”
“He found someone else.”
He nodded solemnly. “Maybe it’s for the best.”
I gave him a sharp look. “Why? Enlighten me, will you? Why is it better this way, when I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest?”
“He’s your teacher, for crying out loud. Be glad it was me who found out, and not somebody else. You don’t know how things would play out then.”
Why did he always have to be right? But that didn’t help ease the pain. “I’m in love with him,” I whispered, on the verge of crying.
Elias closed his eyes, and wrapped me in his arms.
“Lori?” Elias and I broke apart at the mention of my name. Standing before us was none other than Parker. He looked angry and hurt. If looks could kill, Elias would have been lying on the floor now.
“Hi, Mr. T. We were just leaving,” Elias said. I didn’t dare look in Parker’s direction.
“Lori, what’s going on?” Parker sounded worried, and jealous.
“Obviously, not a t
hing,” I replied gruffly.
“Elias, could I talk to Lori alone, please?” Parker used his teacher voice.
“I have nothing to say to you.” I crossed my arms on my chest like a petulant child.
Parker looked to Elias, then pulled me aside by my wrist.
“Ow, that hurts. Let me go.” My legs were still wobbly, and my words were slurred.
“Are you drunk?”
I yanked my hand out of his grasp. “Why, yes I am. So what?” I knew I was acting like a brat, but I didn’t care. I was hurt.
“Could we talk in private?” he repeated the question, more seriously this time.
“Elias knows, Parker.”
“Knows what?” he looked at me in surprise, his eyebrows drawn together.
“Elias knows. I accidentally told him. So you can say whatever you want to say in front of him.”
Parker looked from me to where Elias was standing three feet away, and back to me. He didn’t know what to say. He rubbed his hand over his face. “Shit.”
“I’ll leave you two to talk.” Elias walked off toward Drake, who was coming our way.
Traitor.
“He won’t tell anyone,” I assured him. “There’s nothing to tell, anyway. We’re over.”
His head jerked toward me in surprise. “Over? What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play stupid, Parker. Go home to your Barbie, and leave me alone.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
I raised my eyebrow at him, still feeling the effects of the alcohol in my system. “Fine. Then I’ll go.” I turned around, waved my hand to Elias and Drake so they’d come over, and we left the club. Parker called after me, but he couldn’t do anything else, otherwise he might’ve caused a scene.
Chapter Twenty
April 2012
15 years old
The visit at the doctor didn’t reveal anything. They took my blood and urine samples, checked my thyroid for any abnormal activities, did a thousand and one test, but they didn’t discover anything. My doctor referred me to the dermatologist, in case he could determine the cause of my hair loss.
“Mom, am I going to die?” was my first thought as we were leaving the hospital. I was afraid. Finally, my life started to look up, and another obstacle appeared on my path. As if I hadn’t gone through enough already.
“No, sweetie. If it was something very bad, the tests would have revealed it already,” Mom assured me, but it didn’t convince me.
Chapter Twenty-One
January 2015
18 years old
New Year’s Eve came and went. I spent it over at the Moser house. Elias wouldn’t let me stay home alone, not after the incident with Parker, so he invited me over. It wasn’t strange, as I’d spent many nights in one of their guest rooms. Dani thought of me like the daughter she’d never had. In the morning of the New Year, she prepared a delicious breakfast, and, as I sat down at the dining table, my phone beeped.
Parker: Happy New Year.
That was all he wrote. I didn’t bother replying, I was too heartbroken.
Elias and I headed to his room after breakfast. I had to explain the whole story with Parker, as he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact I got involved with our teacher.
“So, Parker from the speed dating thing is also Mr. T.?” he asked me again.
“Yes. I had no idea he was going to be our teacher when we went out. You know, we’d met before the school year started.”
“So, were you together the whole time?” He knitted his eyebrows together in deep thought.
“You know we weren’t. The first day of school, when he saw me in his classroom, he dumped me.”
“That’s right. I remember you were one big heap of misery because of that. But, how on earth did you get involved again?”
“It just happened, Elias. We didn’t plan it. It happened at the school dance.”
“School dance,” he repeated after me, as he pondered for a couple of seconds. “I can see why you like him—he’s gorgeous. But, Lori, are you aware of what you got yourself into? He’s our teacher!”
“That’s a fact I’m well aware of. But we’re done now, so it doesn’t matter anymore. He can have his Barbie doll.” I looked down; my eyes burning with unshed tears. It hurt losing him again because I cared so deeply for him.
“I think it really is for the best, Lori. Both of you could get into a lot of trouble.”
“Elias, it’s not that simple. I was in love with him. I still am.” A tear rolled down my cheek.
“Oh, girl, come here.” He spread his arms so I could lean into him, while he gave me a reassuring hug, and kissed the top of my head. It felt like a giant weight was lifted off my chest now that someone else knew about Parker and me. I’d kept it to myself for so long, it was suffocating me.
“I miss him.” It was unbelievable how someone could break your heart, yet you still loved him with all the shattered pieces.
“Did you tell him? Does he know?” He was asking about my disease, my condition. I shook my head. “Why not?”
I slipped out of his embrace so I could look him in the eyes, and wiped at a stray tear with the backside of my hand. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to lose him. What if he was disgusted with me when he finally saw me for who I really am? I felt so good when I was with him.”
“I understand. But—why didn’t you let him decide? You’re beautiful in every way, and anyone who fails to see that is either blind or a moron. If Parker loves you, he won’t care.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
“It’s too late now anyway. He doesn’t love me.” I shrugged. “Thank you, Elias. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It’s okay. What are friends for?” he smiled at me. “I have one more question.”
“Shoot.”
“Did you sleep with him?”
“No,” I said. “But I was planning to.”
“Does he know about Briggs?”
“Nope. And if you think he tried to force me into anything I didn’t want, you’re wrong. He was the one who wanted us to wait, even though I tried my hardest to change his mind.”
“Hm…”
“What is that supposed to mean?” I raised my eyebrow at him.
“Nothing. Forget I said anything.” He waved his hand. “I bet he’s an animal in bed,” he said, and we both laughed. If anyone could get me in a better mood, it was Elias.
“I’m sorry for ruining yours and Drake’s night. I know you were having fun.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t ruined anything. There will still be a ton of parties, but there’s only one of you,” he winked at me.
I gave him a sincere smile. “Why aren’t all men like you? The world would be a much better place.”
“The world couldn’t handle so much hotness.”
“Smartass.”
~ * ~
It was the last day of break. The clock on the kitchen wall said five p.m., which meant Mom and Tyler will be arriving home from their skiing trip in a few hours.
Parker hadn’t tried to contact me anymore, except for the text on New Year’s Day. I gathered he was busy with his Barbie, and finally forgot about me. Every time I thought about them together, it felt like a thousand needles were stabbing my heart. I hoped time would heal my wounds quickly, as the pain in my heart was unbearable.
I must have fallen asleep because a phone call woke me up. When I looked around in a daze from just waking up, my living room was dark. I didn’t know what time it was, and the apartment was silent, except for the furious ringing of my phone.
“Hello?” I answered with my sleep-laced voice. It was an unknown number.
“Honey?” Mom was on the other side of the line.
“Mom? What time is it? Aren’t you supposed to be home already?” I streched, and made a yawn.
“Yes. Don’t freak out. We’re at the ER.”
I was wide-awake in a
n instant. “ER? What happened?” I swallowed the big lump in my throat.
“Our car skidded off the road, and crashed into a tree by the side of the road.”
“W-what?” My body was frozen in shock. “A-are you both alright? How is Tyler?”
“We’re fine. Just a concussion and a broken leg.”
“Just?” I asked with sarcasm. “You could have died, for crying out loud!”
“That’s why I’m calling. I didn’t want you to worry about us.”
“Not helping. I am worried. Where are you?”
She told me the address, and I hung up. First, I called Elias, but I couldn’t reach him. He was probably already sleeping. So, I called the taxi service next, and rushed down the stairs to the front of the building. Nervously, I walked up and down the sidewalk until the taxi arrived and took me to the ER. I was happy they were ok, but still, it could have ended much worse.
Hurrying to the nurse’s station, I asked the nurse about them. She directed me to the waiting room, and told me to wait for the doctor to come. I bit my nails so hard there soon wasn’t much left, I was so anxious to see them. After an excruciatingly long time, I finally heard:
“Are you Miss Lamb?” An older man in a white doctor’s coat stood in front of me, a stethoscope around his neck. I nodded. “My name is Dr. Bryant. I was on call when they brought them.”
“Can I see them?”
He gently grabbed my elbow. “Sure. But they are sleeping. They had a long night. Come with me, please.” In the meantime, he told me about their injuries and how lucky they were. They would need to stay in a hospital for a day or two, so they could make sure there weren’t any other injuries.
Quietly, I opened the door to their room. When I saw them, I burst into tears. The sight of them made my heart ache. I wanted to take away their injuries and their pain. His face was bruised, full of cuts and scrapes, his right leg was in a cast, and he had a bandage around his head. His eyes were closed. Mom looked the same, except she had her arm in a cast. I pushed a chair closer to their beds, and then sat down next to Tyler, holding his hand.
