Dark Surrendering

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  “I’m ready,” he said again, and I could feel his readiness pressing into my stomach. Very ready. Readier than ready.

  I dragged my hands down his chest and took him in my hands. He gasped a little and his eyes rolled back in his head. Wow, my touch must be magic.

  “You don’t get to touch me like that until I’ve made you come. At least once. Hopefully you won’t be able to stand tomorrow. My goal is to satisfy you so much that you’ll never want to leave this bed.” Well, that was something I could definitely get behind.

  “Okay,” I said, letting go of him. He chuckled and pushed me back until my legs hit the foot of the bed.

  “Lay back,” he said, but it was more of a command. Now that he was in control, his confidence was back. I was more than happy to let him take the lead.

  I did as he asked, pushing myself backwards until my head was against my pillows, my body spread out before him. Ryder waited only a second before crawling on top of me. He braced himself on his arms and looked down, our noses barely touching.

  “What do you want?” I asked. He didn’t even think about it.

  “I want you to fuck my face.” My eyes went wide, but he just grinned and rolled to the side.

  “Come here,” he said, reaching for me. I switched places with him. I leaned over and he kissed my face.

  “You asked, I told you,” he said. It was true. I did ask. And I wasn’t opposed to it, but I thought we might work our way up to that. Guess he wanted to get right down to business.

  “Do you not like that?” he asked, pulling away, his brows drawing together in concern. I had never talked this much during sex before. Usually I just doled out encouragement and then screamed in (sometimes fake, okay mostly fake) ecstasy. The logistics were usually lost on me in the moment.

  “No, I love it. I just didn’t think you’d want to go right downtown off the bat. But hey, if you want, I’m game.” I smiled and his expression changed.

  “Then get up here,” he said, grabbing my hips. Yes, sir.

  I used my headboard to pull myself up until I was straddling Ryder’s torso. He reached up and stroked my arms, moving down my chest and working my nipples until they were stiff and aching. This boy sure knew how to push all the right buttons. Granted, I’d been so turned on when we’d started that I probably would have come from him just breathing on me.

  As it was now, I knew I was close. Ryder pinched my nipples hard, just a little bite of pain and I moaned and arched against him. He did it again and I pushed against him. He laughed.

  “Naughty girl. Seems like you enjoy a teeny bit of pain.” I’d never thought I did, but he seemed to bring things out in me that I didn’t know were there. Hell, if he wanted to role play and have me dress up in a Catholic girl’s uniform, I’d probably be on board. I wanted to do everything with him.

  “Uh-huh,” was the only response I could form. Once more, he pinched my nipples before sliding his hands down my stomach and giving me goosebumps. The heat between my legs was building into the sweetest ache, and I knew I’d need a release soon or else it would consume me. Could you die from being massively turned on and then not having an orgasm to satisfy it? Like, blue balls, but for girls? I said a prayer in my head that nothing would interrupt us. Not this time.

  He gripped my hips again and brought them closer to his mouth. A wave of self-consciousness crashed over me and suddenly, I didn’t know if I could do this. But he must have sensed it, because at that moment, he licked his fingers and dragged them up the inside of my thighs, meeting in the middle. He stroked me and I shoved myself against his hand. One of his fingers slid inside me, and I moaned again.

  He used his thumb on my clit as I rocked my hips against him. He kept his other hand on my ass, almost pushing me. I fucked his hand and it was so good I nearly lost it. That boy and his magical, magical fingers.

  He slid a second finger inside me, and I could feel myself starting to stretch. It had been a while, but I wasn’t worried. Ryder wasn’t like those fellows who would go right for the kill. He would take his sweet time, and how sweet it was.

  Little gasps came out of my mouth and I didn’t even care. I moved my hips faster, thrusting so hard, he could no longer keep his hand inside me. But he didn’t leave me for long. He simply licked his fingers, leaned forward, and then his mouth took the place of his hands. With one flick of his tongue on my clit, I dived over the edge of a cliff, arms spread wide, thinking about nothing but falling. I nearly toppled over, but his steady hands gripping my ass kept me from going anywhere. His tongue stroked me through my first climax. I shuddered and twitched in the aftermath, and then sighed as warmth and contentment followed. There were orgasms and then there was that. An entire bodily experience that left you breathless and so satisfied that you never wanted to do anything else but keep having them. If only life were like that.

  “Oh. My. God,” I said, looking down at him. He grinned up at me from between my legs, and I'd never seen anything so damn beautiful. The scratchiness from the beard added a whole new element to the experience.

  “More?” he asked.

  “More,” I said.

  He got me off a second time with his mouth, and this time I leaned back on my arms and arched my back into him. I’d never thought of myself as a sexual acrobat, but now I was seeing the potential benefits of being more flexible.

  My arms got so tired that I couldn’t hold myself in that position anymore. Without me even saying anything about it, Ryder sat up.

  “You can lay back if you want, baby. Let me do the work.” I climbed off him with wobbly legs and nearly collapsed onto my bed. He crawled over me and smiled down at me. He was quite pleased with himself.

  “Just because you got me off, doesn’t mean you’re Superman,” I said, grinning.

  “No, but I did get you off. Twice.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What is it with men and female orgasms? You think you deserve a reward for each one.”

  “Haven’t you ever heard the saying that hard work is its own reward? That is definitely true in this case.” He licked his lips and kissed my forehead.

  “I guess. But I think you deserve something for your time and effort.”

  He turned his head to the side.

  “Oh, yeah?”

  “Definitely. You’ve been in the mountains for a month. I’m sure you’re aching for a good blow job.” He’d worked on me for a quite a while and was hard as hell. I didn’t know how he was keeping his cool at the moment.

  “Well, I’m not going to turn it down, but you don’t have to.”

  Aw, how sweet.

  “Okay, cool. I guess if you’re not into that . . .”

  He grabbed my chin. “I never said I wasn’t into that.”

  I grinned at him and jerked my chin out of his hand and started to shimmy downward. Time for a role reversal.

  “Fuuuuuuck,” he said as I licked the underside of him. I was already getting off just on this. Giving Ryder pleasure was just as good as getting it from him. Maybe even better.

  I worked his balls with my hand as I continued to stroke his shaft with my tongue before I pulled him fully into my mouth. His hips twitched and he jerked toward me. Who was fucking whose face now?

  Moving my lips up and down, I watched him go wild, and it was amazing. I got a glimpse of what I was in for later. He started growling like a primal animal, and it only made me work harder and move faster. I took him as far as he could go without gagging. For Ryder, I was more than willing to go the extra inch.

  His growling became more intense, his movements more out of control, and then he jerked himself out of my mouth.

  “I’m coming inside you,” he said by way of explanation. I wiped the spit off my chin and looked up at him.

  “Fuck, you look amazing down there like that. Makes me want to lose it all over you.”

  I smiled. “You could if you wanted to. As long as it’s not in my hair. Or my eyes.”

  He laughed. “I fucking love you.”


  I scooted myself upward, and our mouths met again for a slower, sweeter session. We were building toward something monumental and I could barely stand the amount of energy coursing through my body.

  He was everywhere and everything. He grabbed some of my hair and yanked at it.

  “Hey!” I said, and he did it again.

  “I said I wanted to pull your hair.” That was true. He had said that. And it was kind of hot. Maybe I was a fan of pain? Interesting.

  “True. Do it again.” He did. Yeah, I did like that.

  “Mmm, I think we’re going to have to play a little next time,” he said. “But right now, I need to be inside you or else I might die.”

  Ditto. So I took matters into my own hands, wrapping my hands around him and positioning him at my entrance. Just to tease him a little, I rubbed him on my clit.

  He growled again. “Fucking tease.”

  “You love it,” I said, doing it again.

  “I’d love it if my dick was inside you. Right. Now.” I stroked him one more time with my hand before moving my hips upward to take him inside. I couldn’t go all the way, but he did his part and closed the distance.

  “Mmm,” I said. Having him inside me while staring up into his beautiful eyes was like watching everything fall into place.

  “Fuck,” he said, closing his eyes and moving his hips a little. “You feel fucking perfect.” So did he.

  He leaned down and kissed my lips before drawing his hips back and thrusting into me. The sensation of him leaving me and then filling me again was just . . . the best thing ever.

  I heard myself moan, and I grabbed his ass to try and pull him in deeper. I arched my hips up to meet him. He seemed to really like that and responded by driving me down into the mattress.

  Who knew missionary could be so fucking hot?

  “Good?” he asked.

  “Good,” I said.

  With a smile, he redoubled his efforts and my head nearly exploded. Somehow in the middle of it I came a third time, and he slowed down a second to let me get through it before he went at it again. He was really good at this. Or maybe it was that our bodies somehow fit perfectly together. Every time he thrust into me, he hit exactly the right spot, like he was made to get me off.

  This was the most mind-blowing sex of my life.

  “You’re fucking amazing, and we are doing this every day for the rest of our lives. Twice,” he said, panting as he kept going. He had this intense look of concentration on his face that was so damn sexy. How did I get to have such an amazing man in my life? He made me laugh, he got me, and he was fantastic in bed. Talk about winning the relationship lottery.

  I wasn’t deluded enough to think that Ryder was perfect, but who the hell was? He’d taken amazing steps to improve his life, and he was going to keep on improving. This was going to work. I could really feel it this time.

  Ryder leaned down to kiss me softly, and then his back arched and he groaned. He came inside me and it was fucking beautiful.

  Instead of collapsing, he dropped his head for a moment, his chest heaving. I was breathing heavily myself. What a workout. With Ryder in my life, I wouldn’t need to go to the gym. We could just fuck each other several times a day. I was completely down with that plan.

  He started to pull out, but I locked my legs around him.

  “Don’t go just yet.”

  A smile crossed his face. “Well, give me a minute and I won’t have to.”

  Fuck. Yeah.

  Ryder had said we should do it once or maybe even twice a day. Well, that night we fucked so many times I lost count. So many ways that my body had given up and I could barely crawl to the bathroom to pee.

  “I can’t anymore,” I said when the sun started peeking under the curtains. My body was draped over Ryder, and he was on his back. I’d been stroking his tattoos, but my hand had gotten tired.

  “Can’t what?” he said, his fingers twirling my hair.

  “Can’t even,” I said. “That was a marathon, buddy. I think we made up for lost time. Holy shit.” Exhaustion kept hitting me in surges, and it was all I could do to keep my damn eyes open.

  “You did good.” He patted my shoulder like I was a horse who had just run a race or something. I wanted to glare at him, but my eyelids were too exhausted.

  “You too, fire crotch.” The carpet definitely matched the drapes.

  He laughed and then winced.

  “It hurts to laugh.”

  “Why?” I said.

  “I don’t know.”

  And then we both passed out.

  The next thing I knew something was moving under me.

  “Sorry, baby,” Ryder said, kissing my cheek. “I have to use the restroom.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said.

  “You’re on top of me.” I tried moving and failed.

  “I tried. You’re gonna have to roll me over or something.”

  So he lifted me up with one hand and slid out from under me. I fell back on the bed with a flop.

  “Ow!” I moaned.

  “Sorry,” he said again before heading to the bathroom. I cracked my eyes open and stared in the direction of the clock. It was nearly noon. The next feeling that registered was an insatiable hunger. My stomach growled, as if it had been waiting for me to remember its existence.

  “Ryder?” I called over the sound of the water running in the bathroom.

  “Yeah?” He turned it off and walked back into the room. Hell yeah, he was still naked and glorious. Now I was the one who wanted to do the drawing. I’d never been one for figures, though. I’d taken a few classes in college but hadn’t been passionate about it enough to make a study of it. I was more interested in what went on the body.

  “Hungry,” I said, turning onto my back and rubbing my aching belly.

  “Yeah, me too. Want me to make some eggs or something?”

  Normally I wouldn’t let anyone cook breakfast for me, but in this case, I’d let it slide. Also, he’d been able to make grilled cheese without fucking it up, so I had faith in him.

  “Sure,” I said. “Don’t ask me for help because I’m not moving.”

  He saluted me. “Aye, aye, captain. I’ll report back when I’ve got everything ready.” And he left, not even bothering to put his pants on.

  “Are you cooking naked?” I yelled after him.

  He turned around. “I’ll put an apron on to protect my cock.” With a wink, he was heading to the fridge. I realized he’d left the door open, and if I moved a little, I could watch him while he cooked. Nice. Breakfast and a show.

  For the next half hour I watched Ryder’s ass peeking out from the back of the apron as he cooked eggs, bacon, and toast. He even brewed fresh coffee and brought me a cup as soon as it was ready so I could start feeling sort of human again.

  Every time I moved, my muscles protested.

  “I think I have a groin injury!” I yelled when I tried to go to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet seat was excruciating.

  “Then I’ve done my job!” Ryder yelled back. No sympathy.

  “I’ll give you a groin injury, mister!”

  “I’m looking forward to it!”

  When the food was ready, he brought it to me on a tray.

  “As much as I hate to say it, I think you should cover up so you don’t drop something hot on yourself. I don’t want you to burn your gorgeous skin. Let’s keep it as scar-free as we can, okay?” I pulled the covers up to my chest, and Ryder handed me a napkin to put on my lap. It was a very civilized, naked breakfast-in-bed.

  His eggs were good. As was the rest of him.

  “So, I was thinking that I should probably head over to Lucah and Rory’s, since I’m technically staying there now.” I put my fork down, wishing I could ask for seconds. I needed at least four times this amount of food to recover from the amount of energy I’d expended the night before.

  “Or you could just live here,” I blurted out. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to spring that on you.”


  He looked down at his lap but smiled.

  “I would love to move in with you. Someday. But right now I think I need to learn how to actually take care of myself. Like, really take care of myself. Be independent. I’ve always relied on someone or something else to help me. No more. I’m going to do this on my own. It feels good. Really good.”

  He smiled, and it was so sweet that I wanted to wrap myself around him like an octopus and never let go.

  “That’s okay. I don’t know if I’m ready to take that step anyway. I don’t know why I said that. In case you haven’t noticed, I tend to say what’s on my mind.” It had gotten me into some sticky situations, but it had also gotten me out of some, so there you had it.

  Ryder held my chin and looked deep into my eyes.

  “Don’t you ever change, S. Harris.”

  “I’ll try not to, R. Blythe.”

  I told Ryder he could go ahead and use my shower. He suggested that I join him, but I didn’t think I could deal with anyone touching my ladybits anytime soon. They were off limits, even to me.

  He changed into one of the outfits I’d made him.

  “Aren’t all your clothes dirty?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “I kept a few things in my bag that I didn’t want to mess up. This was one of them.”

  Aw. So he hadn’t wanted to grunge up the clothes I’d made him.

  “You can wear them and mess them up. They’re meant to be worn, and I can mend them for you.” I definitely didn’t mind the idea of having to hand sew Ryder’s clothes or put patches on them. I loved that idea.

  “And I can make you more stuff. Just tell me what you want and I’ll create it for you.”

  “You don’t have to,” he said, rubbing his head, fluffing out his hair.

  “I know, but I want to. I like doing things for you.”

  He leaned down to give me a soft kiss.

  “I need to go and be with my brother for a while. Will you be okay here?”

  Yeah, I’d probably be okay for a few minutes without him. I was going to start drawing him an entire wardrobe, and I was going to surprise him with it whether he liked it or not.