Never Far Away

by Marysue Hobika

  “And I appreciate it, but it’s my turn to take care of you tonight.”

  Stella was proud, so I didn’t push it. I let it go. “Good, because after you feed me I can think of other ways you can take care of me.”

  Stella laughed and my room filled with its warm sound. It was fun to joke around with her. I’d never felt comfortable enough around girls to be myself, but with Stella it was easy, maybe because I’d known her my whole life. Thank God I’d finally gotten my head out of my ass so that we could enjoy moments like this together. When I called Eli to tell him Stella and I finally hooked up he’d said, “It’s about fucking time, loser. I told you she wanted you.” Staring at her now across the room, I felt like the luckiest bastard in the world.

  We grabbed something to eat and walked around the city for a while. We had two more whole days to ourselves before we went home. I knew time would go by fast. There was so much I wanted to experience with her. I felt Stella shiver.

  “Come on, you’re cold. I’m taking you home.” I squeezed her hand and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

  “Let’s run.” Her bright blue eyes warmed.

  “Are you in a hurry?” I teased.

  “Yeah. I can’t wait to get you back in bed.” Stella was always hot and ready and I fucking loved it. And it made it even better that I was the only one who knew this side of her. All I had to do was make sure I didn’t do anything to fuck it up.

  “Let’s go.” And we took off.

  Stella

  Teddy and I decided to wait until we got home to tell Charlotte in person about our new relationship. We thought she’d handle it better if we took a show-not-tell approach. She got home the day before us and offered to pick us up at the train station. I was nervous, but I knew in the end she’d understand. Charlotte was a huge fan of true love and Teddy and I were the new poster couple. I took comfort in the feel of his warm hand in mine. I looked up at him and smiled.

  She was waiting for us, and her eyes instantly zeroed in on our intertwined hands. Her jaw practically hit the floor. What would she think? Would she disown me as a friend? Fear started to rise to the surface and I felt my hand get clammy.

  “Don’t worry,” Teddy whispered in my ear. “She’s just in shock. Give her a sec and she’ll come around.”

  “I hope you’re right.” I didn’t want my relationship with Teddy to come between my friendship with Charlotte. She was my oldest and dearest friend.

  “What the fuck is this?” she asked, not beating around the bush. It was typical Char to say what was on her mind and I relaxed some. She’d get it off her chest and move on. I smiled; everything was going to be fine.

  “Teddy and I are dating.” I declared proudly.

  “Seriously?” She chuckled but it died seconds later when she realized we were serious.

  Teddy had let go of my hand and had wrapped it around my shoulders, drawing me even closer to him. His warmth seeped into me and my smile grew brighter. “Why? Don’t you think we make a cute couple?”

  Charlotte stared at us with out saying anything for several long moments. My smile was beginning to fade. Nothing would change how I felt about Teddy, and I wouldn’t give him up no matter what Charlotte thought, but I wanted her to be happy for us. It meant a lot to me. “Char?”

  “Cute? Are you fucking kidding me? You two are going to make beautiful babies,” she exclaimed, finally finding her voice. I ran to my friend and hugged her. Now I had everything—the boy I loved and my best friend’s blessing. We walked out to the car arm in arm, while Teddy walked a step behind, giving us a little privacy. He knew Charlotte’s approval was important to me.

  She whispered conspiratorially in my ear. “I’m coming over later and you’re going to spill the beans. I don’t want to know all the details—that would be gross—Theo is my brother, but I want to know how you two ended up together.”

  “Deal.” I couldn’t imagine telling anyone what Teddy and I did behind closed doors; it was too private, but it was time she knew I’d been in love with her brother for years.

  “Damn, girl! We might be sisters for real someday.” Charlotte unlocked the car. Sisters. I’d always wished Charlotte was my sister and maybe someday she would be if Teddy and I ever got married, but that was a long way off. We’d only been dating for a few weeks. Even so I could imagine walking down the aisle with him one day.

  ***

  My mom was waiting for me when I got home. “Hi, Stella.” She gave me a hug. “It’s going to be nice to have you home for more than a couple of days.”

  I wasn’t so sure about that, but I didn’t say anything. Thanksgiving hadn’t been a picnic in the park. I looked around at the same walls and leather couch, big screen TV—mentally snapping pictures. This place wasn’t my home anymore. I’d grown up and changed a lot in the few months I’d been at college. It had given me a new, fresh perspective. My eyes wandered to Teddy’s house. It had always felt more like home than my own house. It was filled with laughter and love. I’d spent most of my childhood hanging out across the street. And now my desire to be there intensified. My home was wherever Teddy was. He was my home. I felt the happiest when I was in his arms. I thought about telling her about Teddy, but I didn’t. I wanted to tell Char all about it first. I’d tell my mom later.

  “Charlotte’s coming over. Is that okay?”

  “Of course.” My mom acted hurt. I heard it in her voice. I took a good look at her and noticed she had the same dark circles under her eyes that she had when things weren’t going well and she wasn’t getting enough sleep.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “No,” she shrugged. “Your dad’ s been working a lot and I missed you, is all.” My dad working a lot was code for he was stressed and in a worse mood than usual. My mom saying she missed me meant she was depressed and relying on her pills again. Thanksgiving had been ugly and I wasn’t getting a good feeling that Christmas break would go smoothly. I just had to make sure I stayed out of the way. My dad didn’t throw punches, just words. Sometimes I wished he did, because physical pain had to better than emotional pain.

  “I’ve missed you too.” I gave her another quick hug. I guess Tori and her hugs were rubbing off on me. “I’ll be in my room unpacking.”

  An hour later Charlotte came into my room and sat down on my bed next to me, tucking her legs underneath her. “Spill the beans, sister.” She giggled.

  “I’ve been in love with Teddy for as long as I can remember.” I felt good to finally get that off my chest. It was like a huge weight had been lifted.

  “No fucking way!”

  “Way!”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me?” She seemed crushed.

  “I wanted to but I was afraid it would come between our friendship and I didn’t want to risk that when Teddy wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

  Charlotte grinned. “Nothing could come between us.” She squeezed my arm. “If you had told me, I could’ve let you know that my brother had a thing for you. He pretended he didn’t. But I saw the way he’d look at you when he thought no one was paying attention. He wanted you even though all you two ever did was argue. So tell me exactly how it happened. How did you two get together?”

  I quickly brought her up to speed—starting with running into Teddy when I’d been dating Aidan, meeting him for brunch, the train trip home at Thanksgiving, and then him rescuing me a few weeks ago at the bar.

  “So did you and Teddy do it?”

  My cheeks burned. Stella was one of the few people who knew the truth—I was a virgin. Or I was—until Teddy. My face burned with the answer. “Yes.”

  She held up her hand. “Don’t say anything else. I don’t want to know. Teddy is my brother.” She shook her head, then smiled. “No, seriously, I’m happy for you. I think you make a great couple.”

  “Thanks, Char—that means a lot to me.” I gave her a quick squeeze. “Enough about me.” I waved my hand in the air. “What’ve you been doing? Is there a man
in your life?”

  “Yes, and I’ve been dying to see what you think.” Charlotte launched into her story. “The laundry machines on my floor were full, so I went down two flights and, I silently jumped for joy because sitting there waiting for his clothes to be done was the hottest guy I’d seen on campus all semester. He had on a black T-shirt that showed off an arm sleeve and ripped jeans. He looked emo. I never thought I’d be into that look, but he rocked it.” She blew her bangs out of her face. “I flirted with him, but he only gave one-word answers. I couldn’t help but be intrigued. When the new semester starts up, I’m gonna be doing laundry every day until I find his cute ass again.”

  I laughed. This poor boy didn’t stand a chance. Once Charlotte made up her mind, she’d stop at nothing to get what she wanted.

  Charlotte and I talked for hours until she had to go home for dinner. She told me to come over later and the three of us—her, Teddy, and I—could watch a movie together. They were leaving on Christmas Eve day, only three days away, to go to their grandparents in Vermont for the week like they did every year. The plan was to hang out as much as possible until then.

  Theo

  “What about this one?” I pointed at a bracelet. Charlotte was helping me pick out a Christmas present for Stella. She was coming over later and we were exchanging gifts. I’d been thinking a lot about what I wanted to get for her, but I hadn’t had time to do any shopping. Charlotte talked me into letting her come along, stating that she knew Stella better than anyone.

  “I don’t like it.” She’d said that about the last ten. I was beginning to wish I hadn’t agreed to let her tag along.

  “I don’t fucking care if you like it.” I stopped my hands from going around her neck. “Do you think Stella will?”

  “Maybe.” Finally we were getting somewhere.

  I wanted something special—unique—like Stella. I knew charm bracelets were popular—girls at school wore ten or more on an arm, but I didn’t want what everyone else had.

  “What about that?” I spied a necklace with a single teardrop shaped stone the same color as Stella’s eyes. It was like it was made just for her. When I thought about her wearing something that I’d given her so close to her heart, it felt right. I couldn’t wait to reach behind Stella and put it on her. I’d be sure to lean in and kiss the side of her neck. I imagined her sprawled in my bed with her blond hair across my pillow, wearing nothing but the necklace. I’d trace her skin where it lay with my tongue.

  “Perfect,” Charlotte agreed, disrupting my fantasy. Good thing, too, because I didn’t need a boner right now. Shopping with my sister was uncomfortable already. I didn’t need her to see what just thinking about Stella did to me.

  I walked out of the store carrying a small bag in my hand. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Stella’s face when she opened it later. I told her not to get me anything—I knew she didn’t have extra money—and I already had everything I needed. A warm feeling spread through out my chest. I had Stella and I’d never need anything else.

  A few hours later I was pacing. Stella would be there any second. My parents made themselves scarce—they were watching TV in my dad’s office and promised to give us some privacy. It was times like these I missed my small apartment and the ability to take her in my room and close the door. Charlotte had gone to the movies with some friends. She’d hear all about it from Stella anyway. Girls loved to talk about shit like that.

  The doorbell rang and I raced to answer it. I’d gotten used to spending all my free time with her, and even though she only lived across the street, I hadn’t seen her nearly enough. And I was used to having her all to myself, in my bed and in my arms. Here I had to share her with her family and mine. Part of me couldn’t wait to go to back to college. Then I could lock her in my room and have my way with her all night.

  “Hey, Angel.” I held open the door and she passed through. My eyes locked on her beautiful face. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and her eyes shone bright.

  “Hi.”

  I closed the door behind her and immediately brought her to me. I breathed in the scent that was uniquely Stella—blackberries and vanilla. Peace overcame me. Nothing felt better than holding Stella in my arms. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered into her ear.

  She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I missed you too.”

  She had her platinum locks pulled back and her neck was fully exposed. I couldn’t resist running my tongue along it and kissing her. My knees felt weak—she tasted so fucking sweet. She angled her neck to give me better access. I licked along her jaw line until I reached her mouth. The kiss was hard and passionate. I didn’t hold back. I needed her. She was mine. Electricity flowed through my bones and I knew there’d never be anyone else. No one would ever make me feel the way Stella did. It was like she was made just for me and to think she’d been living right across the street my whole life and it had taken until we’d moved away to find each other. But now that we had, I had no intention of ever letting her go. She sighed softly as my hands tangled in her hair. I couldn’t get enough of my beautiful angel.

  “Theodore Samuel Baker,” exclaimed my mother. It was always bad when she used my full name. I cringed. “The girl hasn’t even taken off her coat yet and here you are molesting her in our front hall.”

  Stella stiffened in my arms and hid her face in my chest. I was going to kill my mom for embarrassing her. They promised to give us some privacy tonight and she’d been here less than five minutes and my mom was bugging us.

  “Mom.” My teeth clenched together tightly.

  “What?” She acted innocent. “I heard the doorbell ring and I thought I’d come say ‘hi.’ Imagine my surprise when I saw you—”

  “Mom! Seriously, give us a minute,” I shouted over my shoulder. I didn’t dare turn all the way around. I couldn’t let my mom see what Stella did to me. She’d be mortified and want to have me committed.

  My dad appeared. I wasn’t sure whose side he was on but I had to try. Stella hadn’t raised her head. “Dad, please, make her leave.”

  He grabbed my mom gently by the arm and pulled her in the direction of the office. “Come on, the movie is about to start. Let them have a little privacy.”

  “Bill, you didn’t see what he was doing…” Her voice faded as they walked away.

  “They left.” I reached down and lifted up her chin. Her face was red and I didn’t blame her. My chest tightened to see her upset. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

  “It’s not your fault I got embarrassed. Your parents mean the world to me. I don’t want your mom to think less of me.”

  I ran my hand over her soft hair. “Don’t worry. My mom loves you. It’s me she’s angry with. I promise not to get carried away again when they’re around.” I kissed her softly on the lips and stepped back. “It’s hard though. When I’m near you I just want to feel you everywhere.” Her eyes were the color of clear water and I could tell by looking into them that she felt the same way I did.

  I took her coat and hung it in the closet. We went into the family room and sat down. I handed her my gift. “Open it.” I didn’t want to wait.

  She looked at me through her long eyelashes. “Okay.” I watched, holding my breath as she carefully tore open the wrapping paper. She opened it so slowly my palms were getting sweaty.

  “Hurry up.” My legs bounced up and down.

  “Thank you. It’s beautiful. I love it,” she exclaimed, carefully lifting it out of the box. We stood, and I clasped it around her neck. I wanted to live out my fantasy from earlier, and kiss her neck again, but I’d promised to behave. I allowed myself to run my fingers along her neck, but I stopped it there. I spun her around. The necklace looked amazing. It was the same color as her eyes, just like I’d known it would be.

  “You’re welcome. Now you have something from me close to your heart.” I know it was a nerdy thing to say, but then again, I was a nerd. I didn’t have to pretend to be an
yone else with Stella. She loved me for who I was. Tears pooled in her sky colored eyes.

  “You don’t know how much this means to me.” She touched it with her fingertips, which I thought was incredibly sexy. I smiled. It had taken me half a day to find it, but I’d chosen right. When I thought about how long it had taken to me to find Stella, I almost laughed out loud. Not everything could fit into a neat schedule. And I was discovering those were the best things in life.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  We stared at each other intensely. Electric currents passed through the air. I wouldn’t be surprised if my parents came out of the office again claiming that the TV short-circuited. We remained like that for several minutes, each memorizing the other.

  Stella was the first to speak. “I have a present for you, too.”

  I blushed. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” I felt bad about Stella spending money on me.

  “I wanted to.” The look on her face told me to let it go, so I did. It was the one thing we still argued about, but I wouldn’t let it ruin the evening. We sat back down on the couch and she handed me a flat box. “This is for you. It’s not much, but I think you’ll like it.” Without even opening it, I knew that I would. There was nothing I didn’t love when it came to Stella.

  The present was heavy and I couldn’t imagine what it could be. I started to shake it.

  She reached out and stopped me. “Don’t do that. You might break it.”

  I tore open the present and lifted the lid. I gasped. Inside were two picture frames. The first one was a picture of Stella. She looked beautiful with her high cheekbones and sexy smile. Her eyes were bright and I could see the love shining in them. The second was a close up picture of the two of us. I remember the day she took these pictures. We’d been together for about two weeks when we met for coffee in between classes. I took a sip of my latte and she snapped a picture of me with foam on my lips. I went to lick it off when she’d told me to stop. She purposely put foam on her lips and then held her camera up in the air toward us. We smushed our heads together and she snapped away. We looked at the camera and then we faced each other and kissed the sweet milk off of each other’s lips. Stella turned even the most ordinary things, like drinking coffee, into an adventure.