I, Mistress

by Alex Tempera

  “Mistress,” he breathed. “May I?” he put his hands on my hips and slowly we rolled over and he was between my legs as my back pushed into the softness of the mattress.

  I watched him as he entered and slowly pulled out of me. He was graceful and gently, entering me. I felt that he entered more than my body. He was entering something that I could not allow, but I so wanted to. I was torn. Torn between being who I was and between what I wanted. No one could ever have everything they wanted. But at this moment, I could have a small piece of everything. Everything I ever wanted but could never admit to anyone, including myself.

  I fisted the sheets and pulled him toward my body. He lay on me, pressing his glistening chest against mine, still maintaining his rhythm of pushing himself inside me. I felt my body explode and he must’ve known that because he exploded and released himself inside of me. Just like his manners, he always waited for me to react first. I felt the warmth of his seed inside the condom.

  Then, when he pulled out. I felt something … something gone. Him. I felt his loss. No. Way. That’s not possible. I don’t feel loss. I either cause it or I don’t, but I don’t feel it.

  He stood up and tossed the condom in the trash. He kissed my forehead and then swiftly dropped to his knees. “Mistress,” he gulped. “Don’t get rid of me, please.” His eyes looked sad and pure.

  I wrapped the sheet around my body and slowly sat up, facing him. “panther, why do you think I’d get rid of you?”

  “I knew it was a risk when I joined you in here. I’m so attracted to you, in more than a Mistress sub arrangement. Please don’t get rid of me as your sub, because we had sex. I know that we shouldn’t …”

  I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “panther, I intend to keep you for a long time. Just because I don’t have sex with my subs normally does not mean that I’ll get rid of you. I’ve had sex with my subs before, but not like this. Never like this. panther, I won’t get rid of you.”

  He looked up at me and our eyes met. “Promise?”

  “I promise. I like that you’re my sub. It doesn’t mean that I’ll get rid of Richard or Jerry. I just don’t see myself having sex with them ever again,” I patted the bed next to me. “Sit, please.”

  He gracefully stood up and sat next to me, wrapping the comforter around his waist. “I’m sorry, Mistress. I want …”

  “Tell me, without roles right now. Tell me what you want.” I had a moment of clarity and I knew what I wanted. I knew … deep in my soul, what I wanted. I had a list. It wasn’t a bucket list. It was a list of heart’s desires. A list of wants and probably needs but we didn’t always know what we needed until we had it.

  “I’d like for us to date and have this relationship. I understand that you have other subs. Maybe someday you will see that you only need one but I understand. This, of course, would be separate from our business relationship.”

  Yes. I liked this and I wasn’t hesitant like I was when Richard asked me. I didn’t have those kinds of emotions toward Richard. He was my sub and lately he was one that was making me angry more than satisfied. I took his hand. “I’d like that. I do. When we are out on dates, no calling me Mistress. That is for bedroom or playroom only.”

  He kissed my cheek. “I should probably go.”

  “Oh, you ask me out and then you leave? We just had sex.”

  “I’m sorry.” He stood up. “I thought you would want me to leave.”

  I stood up and grabbed my robe that was draped over the chair. I took his hand. “Loxias,” I breathed as I moved closer to his mouth. “Never assume to know what I want. If I want you to leave, I’ll tell you. Lox, I don’t want you to leave. I’d like for you to stay, unless you want to leave.”

  He touched my face. “How do we separate the two?”

  “We don’t, but we just don’t always play. We talk.” I took his hand and patted the back of it. “Oh, that reminds me, I have something for you.” I walked over to the dresser and opened the top drawer. I pulled out a velvet box. “Lox, this is for you. This is for you to wear now and always as my sub.”

  He opened the box and smiled. “It’s really nice.”

  “It’s a simple herringbone chain, but it will match my new bracelet, except my herringbones are a little thinner. I also have a working collar that you will only wear in the playroom and you will only wear it when I put it on you.” I kissed his cheek as I clasped the chain around his neck. “Now, get dressed, Lox, and I’m gonna order something to eat. I’m starved.” I kissed his knuckles and headed out of my room.

  Within a few seconds, he was dressed but his shirt was unbuttoned. He sat down on the sofa as I hung up the phone. “Dinner?”

  “I ordered Italian. It’s what we would’ve had if we went out. I did have one question, I need to ask you.” I crossed my legs and I could feel his eyes as I lightly swung my leg.

  “What’s that?”

  “How did you know that Richard was working late?”

  “I was in your office talking to your assistant, when he called. She told him to text you because you probably wouldn’t be in the office. I wasn’t eavesdropping, but I was standing right there, so it wasn’t hard to overhear.”

  “Why were you talking to Elaine? I thought you had left when I did.”

  “I did. I went to my motel and my company in Greece had faxed a lot of paperwork about purchasing a building here in Boston. There were three listed. One of them is across the street from yours. At first, I didn’t know that you owned this building.”

  “Yeah, I do. I worked very hard to not just build the company but the building as well. This actually started as a three-story building but then I was able to add on to it. As my company grew, so did my building. What did you need Elaine for?”

  “I don’t know too many people in Boston and I thought, since she was your assistant and that she probably knew everything about this town, that she would have insight into the buildings and different aspects of the city. I’ve been in the states off and on for years and I’ve been to Boston, but not more than a few weeks and it was always for business.”

  “You never mentioned that we would have to move,” I said.

  “No, the building is for my part of the company. I’d handle more than just the magazine business. We have several publishing houses all across the country and the world. We want to have one main office in the States. You and I’d still have our partnership based on our contract and agreements, but I’d also be able to better handle our other American conglomerates.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions.”

  “Don’t be. I was going to tell you about it over dinner,” he smiled, as the elevator dinged.

  “That’s dinner and you can tell me more about it.” I stood up and walked over to the elevator.

  16

  I HURRIED DOWN to the lobby and looked at Joe. “If anyone wants me, I’m not in the building. Just contact Elaine,” I smiled.

  “Yes, Ms. Ralston. Oh, how is Ms. Robinson?”

  “Mae is doing better. Thanks for asking. I have to meet Dane and Alec for lunch down the street and I’m late.”

  He nodded as I hurried out of the building. I took a deep breath when I made it to the sidewalk. I used long strides but I slowed my pace as I headed down the sidewalk. We were meeting at Romano’s. I took a deep breath and walked inside. I smiled at Julian, the host, who stood tall in his black and white vested uniform. “Yes, I’m meeting Dane and Alec.”

  “Yes, they’re in the dining room. Right this way,” the Italian host led me across the dining room to where Alec and Dane were sitting.

  Both men rose to their feet as Julian pulled out my chair. “Thank you,” I said, sitting down.

  Alec and Dane sat down. “We ordered wine. It’s been one of those days.”

  “Oh, that’s fine,” I nodded.

  Julian walked away from the table and immediately a waiter took his place. “White wine,” I smiled. “Whatever they’re having.”

 
; “Yes, Ma’am,” he smiled as he walked away.

  “So, what’s the deal with your subs?” Dane sipped his wine.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “They’re having lunch together … all three of them,” Dane pointed to the corner of the restaurant.

  I turned and looked, and yes, Lox, Richard, and Jerry, were having lunch and I don’t think they noticed me. I looked at Dane and Alec. “It’s not like I forbid them to see each other. We’re supposed to have dinner together tonight.”

  “So, Tuesday night was Jerry’s night, did he say a word?” Dane asked.

  “No, he cancelled and Richard cancelled the night before, but he had to work. I was with … Lox.”

  “So, this man, Loxias Panagakos. I’ve checked him out for you,” Alec said.

  “You did?” I raised an eyebrow. But of course he did. He has these connections and he finds out everything about everybody. He’s the one who checks out the members for the club. “Find out anything interesting?”

  “He’s on the up and up. I wanted to make sure before you partnered up with his company and to make sure he was a safe guy for you to have as a sub. We don’t want what happened to Mae to happen to you. I know you can take care of yourself but …” Alec explained.

  “I know and I thank you. Mae thinks that Tim did this. Is there any word from the cops or anything?”

  “I’ve been in contact with Detectives at the station and he is on their radar, they just don’t know where he is right now.” Dane chimed in. “Ang, what if he comes after you? He still thinks you’re the one who took her away from him.”

  “If I had known what he did to her before she left him on her own, he would be fucking…” I stopped when the waiter put my drink in front of me. “Thank you.”

  “May I take your orders?”

  “I’ll have the lunch special.” I ordered the same thing every time I came here for lunch. Manicotti and a house salad, Italian dressing on the side.

  “We’ll have the same,” Alec said.

  He nodded and walked away.

  “Wow, Dane, you let him order for you?” I laughed.

  “He knows what I like, most of the time,” Dane smiled. “This time, he happened to be right.”

  “Good to know, just don’t ever order for me,” I smiled.

  “Never. So, you and this Lox guy … the Greek God?” Alec grinned.

  “Yeah, we had sex the other night,” I smiled. “And I think maybe, we’ll see each other on a personal thing. And I have to say this, but please, if you ever repeat it, I’ll deny it.”

  “What’s that?” Dane leaned in.

  “I’m scared about it, too.”

  “You’re afraid of him or what he represents?” Alec asked.

  “Myself,” I whispered.

  Dane cleared his throat and nodded for me to turn around.

  I looked at Jerry, Richard, and Lox, as they approached the table. I stood up. “Gentlemen.”

  Jerry nodded. “Mistre– Ms. Ralston, I’m sorry that I cancelled last night. I had to work late at the hospital.”

  I crossed my arms. “An emergency physical therapy session?” I didn’t believe it.

  “All right. That’s not the total truth,” Jerry said. “I expect my punishment?”

  “You know, forget it. All of you. You can consider yourself relieved of being my subs.” I turned toward Alec and Dane. “I’m sorry. I need to go. Cancel my lunch order.” I grabbed my purse and headed out of the restaurant. I was tired of being lied to. They were all lying about something and I didn’t give a shit what it was anymore. Even Lox. Loxias. He was in with them, as if it were some type of conspiracy. I didn’t turn around; I just kept walking toward my building. I didn’t even say a word to Joe; I just headed to the elevator and took it all the way up to my penthouse. Alone. Again.

  After I switched from my business suit to black sweats and a tank top, I texted Elaine and told her I wasn’t coming in the rest of the afternoon. I needed to do something. I just didn’t even know what to do. I couldn’t even look at my playroom, so I made some coffee, and plopped down on the sofa and faced the T.V. Yeah, soap operas and talk shows. Hurray! Not really, but I didn’t care. Something mind numbing. Something to lull the silence of my penthouse.

  I don’t remember when I fell asleep but when I woke up, the television was off and I could smell something delicious emitting from my kitchen. What the hell? I sat up quickly when I noticed there were three men in my kitchen, and they were making dinner. My three former subs. “Um, what’s going on?”

  “Dinner. You didn’t cancel dinner on us,” Richard said. “We wanted to do something nice for you. Jerry and I have been real jerks to you. Real brats.”

  “You all want to stay my subs?” I crossed my arms.

  “Yes,” Jerry said.

  Lox, who was flipping steaks on the grill side of the stove, turned and smiled. “Mistress, I know you wanted this dinner for us to meet. That’s also why I invited them to lunch. I wanted them to know that I wasn’t trying to invade their territory, I just wanted my own place in your heart, I mean playroom.”

  “Well, dinner smells delicious. Now, you all should know that I don’t like secrets being kept from me.”

  “We meant no harm, Mistress,” Jerry said.

  “You still lied to me. I don’t like liars or brats.”

  “We know. I know, Mistress,” Jerry said. “I can explain and I’m sorry. It’s not really that I lied, I just didn’t tell you everything.”

  “I’ll get the wine,” I knew I had to just see where this dinner was going. It was obvious that they all had something they wanted to say to me and they didn’t want it kept from the others. Interesting. Never had all my subs want to be with me at the same time. Lox must be very convincing.

  I sat down at the table as they carried over the platters of food and started to dish out. Jerry dished out a plate for me. I looked at Richard and sighed. “Richard, do the police have any leads on Tim McCoy?”

  “He’s still off the grid. I’m sorry. When I know more, I’ll tell you.”

  “Thanks,” I sighed. “He hurt Mae and Avery. They’re getting better but both of them have a long recovery. Damn razor whip.”

  Lox raised an eyebrow. “I haven’t heard of that toy.”

  “It’s not a toy,” Jerry said. “It’s a whip but instead of leather they use razor wire. It’s illegal in all BDSM clubs. You can’t buy them, you have to make it.”

  “Damn,” Lox said. “That is something new to me.”

  “Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time I’ve seen this,” Richard said. “But it’s the first time it’s been this bad. This McCoy has a rap sheet a mile long.”

  “He hurt her when they were together, but I didn’t know it. If I did …” I stopped myself. “I’m sorry. It still makes me angry.”

  “We understand, Mistress,” Lox nodded.

  “Well, let’s eat and then we can talk after. I take it you all have some things you wish to discuss?”

  “Yes, Mistress,” Jerry answered for all three men, who nodded their heads in agreement.

  We finished eating and without me saying a word, the three of them cleared the table and cleaned up, everything, including dishes. I sat in my chair in the living room and waited.

  The three men filed in the room and stood next to the sofa, waiting. I nodded and they sat down. I didn’t realize it until now but they were wearing similar clothes, black polo shirts, and black jeans.

  “Let’s start now, shall we?” I looked toward the three men, all sitting with their hands in their lap. “I find this interesting that you’re all dressed similar and acting similar. You’re aware that I like each of you for different reasons, right?”

  They nodded their head in unison.

  I had to get someone to talk, they just sat there nodding their heads, not even looking at me or each other. I looked at each of their faces. “Jerry,” I sighed. “boy.”

  “Yes, Mistress?
” he turned and looked me in the eyes.

  “Tell me what’s going on between the three of you and don’t look at them, look at me,” I commanded.

  Jerry nodded. “Mistress, I cancelled last night because I got accepted into the nursing program at Boston General and I was put on the nightshift. I really did have to work last night but I never told you that I was training to be an LPN.”

  “That’s wonderful. You were worried? You could’ve told me.”

  “I know but you seem to like that I do PT and the things that I do for you… I was afraid you wouldn’t want me anymore. Especially now that …”

  “For one, I like you because of who you are and not what you do. What does this especially now mean?”

  “That’s my fault,” Lox said. “I thought that you would be angry that we all got together for lunch. For me, it wasn’t to gain information about what they do with you or what I do with you, it was for us to get together and talk. I heard that they were jealous of me because I’m the new sub and you and I also have business together. I wanted to straighten it out. To let them know that I was just another one of your subs.”

  “Well, now, it’s my turn to be clear.” I had the chance to finally straighten things out and they were all here to listen. “Anna left being my sub because she decided she wanted a male Master. Lox is my new sub and I refer to him as panther, because of his panther tattoo. Lox, please show them.”

  Lox pulled up his sleeve and exposed his tattoo.

  “Good. See? There is no secret code or anything. There is something you should know. Not because it’s your business, but because I’m telling you as a courtesy. You all know that there are things that all my subs do and there are things that only certain subs do, based on their likes and how well I think you do something. Well, Lox and I … we are going to start dating. See how that goes. Now, you should all know that what I do with each one of you is only our business. As subs, you cannot talk about what your Mistress does with you. It is up to me, as your Mistress, to decide what should and should not be told. You subs now have a choice. You can stay my subs or you can go and find new Masters.”