Steeling My Haart

by Lizzy Roberts

  “Well, thank you for the heads up and for making the arrangements. I’m excited for the opportunity. And I will see you on Tuesday morning. I have an important conference call coming in on the other line I need to take. Can you grab any details you need from Jennie? And thanks again, Bruce, I owe you one,” she said, brushing him off.

  “You owe me a big one, for this Emma. I’ll keep it for a special occasion. See you in a few days,” he replied, making her grimace slightly at the thought.

  The lack of excitement in her voice was almost too evident as she transferred his back to Jennie with explicit instructions for her not to be disturbed for the rest of the afternoon. This was not going to be an easy trip, but she took comfort in the fact that with his father tagging along, there was going to be little opportunity for them to be alone. She was also surprised at how she was feeling about everything these days. Surely, most people in her position would be over the moon at an opportunity like this, so why wasn’t she?

  She had told him a small white lie too. The other call coming in was flashing on her private direct line so wasn’t likely to be work-related. She clicked the receiver button, knowing it was either her parents or Lily, her only real friend here in New York. She had met Lily at law school and they had hit it off immediately. Lily knew everything about Emma, especially as she helped her to try and heal her broken heart after Charlie. Even eight years on, he plagued her thoughts almost daily and she often wondered what could have been, had he not left her to muddle her way through life all alone and miserable.

  “Em, it’s me. I need your help.” The desperation in Lily’s voice drew Emma from slipping into another Charlie induced daydream.

  “Lil? What’s up, hun? You sound strange? Are you okay?” she asked, her throat immediately thickening with concern. Lily had been having some trouble with her husband, Gary, ever since the birth of her first child Adie three years ago. Emma was becoming more concerned at her relationship with him, especially since the more recent birth of her second child, Leo, just a few months ago. Gary had become prone to mood swings. From what she had been told, Gary could snap at the least thing. Emma had noticed the last couple of times she had been to their apartment Lily was flinching when she moved about, almost like she had been hurt. When Emma had raised a concern, she shrugged it off and Gary blamed it on regular post-partum “stuff.”

  “Em, can you take the kids tonight for me, please? I need to have a talk with Ed. I know it’s the weekend and you’re probably busy with work stuff, but if I don’t do something soon I’m scared what will happen.” She sniffed and blew her nose, clearly in tears as she was talking. Emma could hear Adie in the background, trying to calm Leo who was wailing and she made out a few garbled words. “Shh, Leo daddy cwoss.” Followed by, “Quiet baby Leo, Daddy don’t like shouty.” Emma’s heart almost stopped in her chest.

  “Adie, sweetheart, can you take Leo in there for me and shut the door, baby? I’ll be there in a minute. I’m just talking to Auntie Em.” She soothed as Emma heard the stroller wheels squeaking and a door clicking in the distance.

  “Sorry I didn’t want the kids to hear what I have to say. Oh, Em, things have been awful but I think if I can get him on his own to talk… He says the kids are too loud and he can’t think straight, but they are still only babies and they don’t understand.” She sobbed, stopping to blow her nose again. “He’s so quick to criticize, but he offers me no help! I’m sorry to dump this on you but can you help me at all. I have no one else?”

  Emma replied immediately, “Of course, Lil, you know I will always help out. I haven’t made any plans this weekend other than a hot date with my laptop and some applications, but seriously if things are so bad, come stay with me, too. I’m off for most of the week next week so you know you have my apartment key if you need anything. Please? You know you have always got a room at my place? I’m worried about you, I really am. Shall I call round for you all on my way home or are you coming to drop them off?”

  Heaving a huge sigh of relief, Lily almost whispered, “Em you are lifesaver, you really are. I can drop them off. You’ll need a ton of stuff for Leo and I’ll write you instructions, but I don’t know what else to do. Gary is heading for a bad place I’m sure of it. He’s working so hard and we rarely see him and when we do he’s short-tempered and can’t stand to be around the kids. If he can just hold out until August I’ll be back at work and we won’t have to worry about depending on him so much.” The fear and strain in Lily’s voice was alarming. “I’ll swing by yours and drop the kids off around eight tonight if that is okay? Gary is due home about nine so it will give me enough time to get home and tidy up a bit. I’m hoping a quiet night in might help.”

  “Okay. hun, that’s perfect. I’ll see you then, and listen, you know where I am if things get desperate, right?”

  “Yes, thanks, Em. You are a true angel,” she said, the relief evident in her voice as she answered.

  As the receiver clicked off and the line went dead, Emma swiped her hands down her face and tossing her hair back up into a messy bun, she called Jennie into her office and they set to work. She had six hours to go until she was needed home and with the trip away next week, she spent the entire afternoon absorbed in the mountains of work she had to get through not really having time to give Lily and Gary a second thought.

  Chapter Five

  Heading out of the office at seven-thirty into a city now warming up with the summer heat, she headed home on the subway. She took off her jacket as she exited the subway and walked home from the station via M’s Place, her favorite diner. It was a cute red, white, and chrome retro-styled diner located just about halfway between the subway station and her apartment block on the upper west side of Manhattan. She needed to grab a quick take out that she had pre-ordered so she’d be home in time for Lily.

  She had discovered M’s Place a couple of months after she moved to the city. It had caught her eye while she was out exploring the city on her search for her own place. For some strange reason, it reminded her a little of Glen Springs and the simple, home-cooked food was one of her many weaknesses when it came to this place. It had only recently opened as she moved to New York and it was one of the main reasons she rented her apartment in this part of Manhattan. It was also close to Lily and Gary and was a convenient part of the city to live in. With Lily being nearby, M’s Place had been a regular haunt of theirs, and Emma’s guilty secret was the Blaze’s Bake cupcake that they sold. It was a modern spin on a S’more, one of her childhood favorites. That particular cupcake was by far her favorite sweet treat in New York. M’s Place also had the best coffee in the city, and they sold her special pumpkin-spiced lattes year round, too. It was a one-stop shop for everything that kept Emma going. It was also in some way comforting for her to be there, too. Like someone had created the perfect sanctuary for her in the middle of all the city hustle and bustle. It was her go to place to relax and take in the well-deserved time out she often craved.

  As she approached the diner, she saw it was pretty busy, as it usually was this time of the evening and George, one of the regular guys who worked there, was serving at the counter tonight. Many of the people who had been employed or who continued to be employed there were given the opportunity to work and get themselves off the streets. It was another reason she loved the place so much. The people she had met here were the most genuine and down to earth people you would ever have the chance to meet. She loved George, who was a gentle giant, six-foot plus of pure bulk but he had such a huge heart. She had found out a few years ago that he had cared tirelessly for his sick wife for years. He had told her that when she eventually died six years ago he was almost left homeless after the health insurance fell short. He had been tens of thousands of dollars in debt. She recalled the night they had chatted after his late shift. He cried as he told her how he had fallen lucky one night when he met his savior in the shape of the current co-owner of M’s Place.

  “Miss Emma! How are you this evening? Bob
by is just finishing your order up out back and it’ll be with you shortly.” His cheerful booming baritone voice echoed across the full diner, slightly muffled by the chatter and noise of the diners enjoying their evening.

  “George, good evening! I’m very well, thank you, but I’m so ready for this weekend. I’m starving tonight. How are those fine grandbabies of yours?” she replied with a smile and a quiet chuckle, knowing she had hit on his favorite subject.

  “Mighty fine boys, Miss Emma, and they’re what keeps this ‘ol ticker goin’. He tapped the left side of his chest as he replied, his face lifted in a broad grin. “Little Issac just took his first steps yesterday.” He puffed out his chest in pride.

  “Aww, that’s great, George, it really is. They’ll be playing football before you know it. How has today been? It’s busy as usual tonight I see?”

  “It’s been a crazy day today, an’ to top it all off we’re being called on by the top boss right now. The big guy has called in to do a reg’lar inspection. Say, you might know the guy. He’s from out your way somewhere back in Oklahoma, I think. I’m sure he’ll show his face again before he heads out to the airport. I was tellin’ him ‘bout you earlier and he seemed mighty interested. I tol’ him you were a real pretty lady and he could do worse than to come an’ at least say hello to one of our best customers.” He grinned at her, pleased with his own matchmaking efforts.

  He knew she wasn’t in a relationship. He had been fiercely protective of her and had kind of adopted her as his surrogate daughter when he found out she was pretty well alone in the big city. He took the role pretty seriously. He was continually trying to find her a date with “suitable” guys who frequented the diner, he once told her. Emma smiled to herself, despite that George’s heart of gold, she knew it was pointless to try talking him out of his efforts.

  “George, that was very kind of you to say so, but I’m sure he has plenty to keep himself occupied and it’s a long way from home for him to be considering a blind date. Besides, you know me. I’m so busy I don’t have time for anymore men in my life other than you and Bobby.” She smiled at him warmly and took a seat by the bar near the fan, watching the diners enjoying her food and a bit of relief from the already humid weather.

  George set her usual pumpkin latte in front of her, as he spoke quietly, “S’ok, Miss Emma. It’s a decaffeinated. I know you don’t like caffeine this late on.”

  She smiled at his thoughtfulness and out of habit she blew on the froth coating the top of the latte absentmindedly. Her mind had drifted to thinking about what was happening tonight and to the issues Lily was having. Her face had hardened and she scowled into the steaming coffee, the stress etched on her face at her inability to be able to help Lily. As she sipped the delicious brew, she all of a sudden could feel someone watching her. She turned her head toward the staff only entrance of the diner. She caught sight of the retreating back of who she suspected was the “big guy” George was telling her about. He had disappeared out to the back of the diner before she could get a good look at him but she swore she could feel his eyes burning through the back of her head. A small shiver ran across her skin and goose bumps formed on her warm arms unsettling her.

  Bobby popped his head out of the serving hatch, his salt and pepper hair tucked neatly into a white chef’s hat, and hollering across the bar he broke her out of her trance.

  “Emma, one grilled chicken and avocado salad coming up. Shall I add a Blaze’s Bake to your bag, too, darlin’?” She visibly jumped at the noise but smiled when he suggested the cupcake.

  “Please, Bobby, you know the way to a girl’s heart. I could just do with treat tonight.”

  He beamed and winked at her. “Anything for my favorite customer. One fresh salad and one cupcake coming up.”

  “Cheers, Bobby.” She smiled back and headed to George to pay.

  “Darn it, Miss Emma, the big guy went an’ left, but said to say your food is on the house an’ he’s sorry he didn’t come say hi to our best customer, but he had to get goin’,” he explained to her as a smile crossed his face as he waved Emma away. She was touched and flattered by the gesture. “Well, that was unexpected, but thank you. Please pass on my thanks the next time you see him, would you? Hope you both have a good evening and I’ll probably be in sometime tomorrow for my usual.” And she picked up her latte and the food cartons on the counter and left, waving with her free hand as she went.

  It was only a short walk back to her apartment block and as she reached the entrance, she was again aware of the strange sensation of someone watching her again. As she stepped in she scanned the immediate area but saw nothing untoward in the quiet streets. Walking up the front stairs into the ornately carved white stone building, she felt slightly relieved to be inside and in relative safety. She couldn’t shake the feeling tonight that she was being watched.

  As she passed by the desk she let the new duty doorman know that Lily would be here shortly and to allow her up to her seventh floor apartment. It wasn’t the penthouse yet, but if she kept her head down and earnings up, she would get there eventually. Her Upper West Side apartment building was one of the nicer ones in the city. When she had graduated from college, she had landed herself an amazing job offer with Whernside and Associates, one of the biggest licensing, branding, and corporate legal practices in the country. The job was interesting and paid well, which allowed her to live in a reasonably big apartment in a nice building. She had splashed out on the apartment just last year after making enough with one of her bonus checks to pay a huge down payment on the stunning property. She had little else to spend her hard-earned money on and certainly no one else to share it with – apart from the odd transfer she made to her parents who still lived back in Oklahoma, just a few towns away from Glen Springs.

  As she waited for the elevator to arrive her thoughts drifted as they sometimes did. She had it all. A great job, fantastic apartment, and enough money to be comfortable but she was lonely and just in that moment she felt incredibly sad. This wasn’t supposed to be how it all worked out. She wasn’t supposed to be alone and so miserable. Her life consisted of a job she was good at, but had no passion for, a beautiful apartment that wasn’t a home, and a lonely existence that should have been full of happiness. Deep down, she knew a long time had passed. Eight long years, in fact, but the reason for her constant melancholy took the form of Charlie Haart, the man who saved her life and stole her heart then crushed it and walked away.

  Chapter Six

  Just as the elevator bell rang out to signal its arrival, an almighty squeal of excitement erupted from behind her. Turning and wiping the stray tear away from her cheek, she plastered on a smile as little Adie ran to her and grabbed her legs from behind, nearly sending her flying.

  “Auntie Em! Auntie Em! I’m having a sweep over at your house tonight and I’m so excited!” the little voice excitedly announced.

  Emma bent down and placed the bags and the food she was holding onto the floor and scooped up her beautiful three-year-old goddaughter, hugging her tight and kissing her all over her face.

  “I’m pretty excited, too, Adie, but you are going to have to tell me how these sleepovers work, though. I’ve never done one before!”

  Before either of them could say anything, Lily abandoned the stroller and bags she was carrying and came barreling towards the two of them and flung her arms round them both, hugging them tight.

  “Em, thanks so much for doing this. I know it’s a lot to ask but you don’t know what this means to me.” Her voice was shaky as she spoke and the strain was plain on her tiny face.

  Emma was surprised when she looked at her friend. Lily was usually so put together and her long shiny, blonde hair framing her tiny elfin face was the envy of any woman, but today she noticed the usually impeccable presentation was sorely lacking. Her normally sparkling blue eyes were a dull grey and her beautiful hair was in need of a good wash and hung limply around her shoulders. She was wearing baggy yoga pants, covered in kid
grime and coupled with a huge hoodie and sneakers. Emma was worried to think that this wasn’t the usual Lily, who normally, despite having two small kids, would have at least attempted to tame her hair and wear a little make up.

  “Okay, lets get you all up to my apartment and I’ll get us both something to drink, eh? Adie, sweety, would you help me carry my bags into the elevator and I’ll help your Mommy? And if you do a good job, honey, you can press the buttons, too!” Emma gently said as she let go of Lily and placed Adie on the floor and picked up her things before holding the door for the stroller.

  The short elevator ride was full of chatter from the over excited Adie and contented cooing coming from the general direction of the stroller. Glancing at the scene unfolding around her, it was clear she hadn’t any idea just what she had let herself in for. She had no clue when it came to one on one time with one kid, never mind a toddler and small baby. Still, when she glanced at Lily, she knew that this seemed to be the least she could do to try take some of the strain and pressure from her shoulders, even if it was just for one night.

  Reaching the front door, she released the lock and Adie bounded into the apartment. Running around the circular entrance hallway, she then headed straight into the main living space and excitedly pointed towards the huge widescreen television that was mounted over the fireplace. “Auntie Em, can we watch the ‘toons on the telewision, pwease? I love the ‘toons.” She beamed excitedly, jumping up and down in front of the screen.

  Flicking on the television she tuned into the kids channel and seated Adie on the sofa. Once Adie was settled, Emma turned to Lily who had managed to settle Leo down to sleep and had wheeled him to the far end of the hallway near the bedrooms so that they could talk and Adie wouldn’t disturb him.