Just Give In

by Just Give In [Evernight] (mobi)

  “Not interested,” he said before she could say or try anything. But clearly she didn’t care because she turned and faced him, pressed her tits to the side of his arm, and he shrugged her off again.

  His cell vibrated in his pocket, and he knew who it was before he even saw the screen. He missed Lena so fucking much, thought about her constantly, but he didn’t think talking to her right now was probably the best idea. He put his cell back in his pocket, took a swig from his beer, and felt the room spin. He’d had a few shots, several beers, and was already trashed. He should stop right now, hitch a ride with someone that was heading out, or just call a cab.

  He moved away from the blonde with the big tits, headed up the stairs to the bathroom, but when he tried the knob, heard the moans coming from inside, he walked over and leaned against the hallway. There was a room right across from him with the door open, the light off, and currently free of people fucking. He could sit on the edge and wait until they got down screwing in the bathroom, and then once they were done, and he’d taken his piss, he’d leave. He wanted to go back to the motel and call Lena, hear her voice, because she always made shit seem better. He was in a strange state, around people he’d only known for a few months, and it was lonely, real damn lonely.

  He made his way into the bedroom, stumbling, and having to reach out and hold onto the wall to steady himself. He felt like he was getting drunker by the second. Damn, he couldn’t even hold his alcohol anymore, but maybe that was a good thing. After he was sitting on the bed he got his phone out and started texting Lena. He’d let her know it was too noisy right now, but he’d call her when he got back to his room. He just didn’t want to talk to her all fucked up like this, because it did shame him, in a way.

  Rory stopped texting for a second and scrubbed a hand over his face. He needed to focus, suck down major amounts of water, or maybe throw up and get some of this alcohol out of his system. Opening his eyes and focusing on the cell again, he finished his text.

  Baby, going to have to call you later. Too noisy here for me to hear you.

  He read the net a few times, making sure it made sense, and then he shoved his cell in his front pocket and laid back. He’d just rest a minute until they were done, then find someone to take his ass home. But as his eyes closed, the heaviness slammed into him and he felt himself drift off. No, he couldn’t pass out here, and not now. He needed to get back to his motel room.

  The sound of a woman giggling had him prying his eyes open and forcing himself to sit back up. The blonde from downstairs with the too tight shirt was leaning against the doorframe. She came inside, but Rory tried to stand, not about to be trapped in here with her. But he was so drunk that when he went to stand the room tipped and spun and he had to sit back down.

  “Wow, you’re really trashed,” she said in this singsong voice. She didn’t sound or look drunk, and he knew that this situation could go very wrong really quickly.

  “Yeah, and when I said not interested I meant it.”

  She came closer and sat on the edge of the bed. His cell vibrated, and thinking it was a text from Lena he grabbed it. But his hand and eye coordination was shot from the drinking, and the fucking thing fell to the floor. The bitch grabbed it before he could react, had the thing answered and started talking.

  “Hello?” she said in a soft, very erotic voice, one that pissed him the hell off.

  “Give me my fucking phone,” Rory slurred out, his head pounding, the room spinning. He hadn’t drunk this much in months, and it clearly wasn’t sitting well with him.

  “Who is this?” the blonde bitch said.

  He went to snatch the phone, feeling his anger rise, but she darted off the bed, her grin wide, and one he wanted to smack off, if he wasn’t a good guy and didn’t fuck with girls.

  “Lena?” the blonde bitch said. “Lena, he’s a little busy right now—”

  “You fucking cunt,” Rory said and grabbed the phone away, his anger overriding his intoxication. “Get the hell out.”

  The blonde’s eyes widened, she opened her mouth to say something, but clearly thought better, and turned to leave.

  Rory was breathing hard, his blood pumping through his veins, and the room still slightly spinning. He put the phone to his ear, closed his eyes, and sat back on the bed.

  “Lena, baby…” He didn’t even know what to say. “She’s some damn bitch that came into the room I’m at, and was starting shit. Nothing happened.” He could hear her breathing, but for several seconds she didn’t say anything. “Lena baby?”

  “Are you at a party? Drunk, too?”

  He exhaled and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, a bunch of the guys from the jobsite got together for the night.”

  She didn’t say anything after that.

  “Baby, nothing happened. You know that right, trust me?”

  It took her several seconds to answer. “Rory, I trust you, no matter what, but I really needed to talk to you tonight, and I can tell you’re drunk.” She exhaled. “Right now isn’t a good time for this kind of talk.”

  She sounded like she was crying, and that had him becoming a little more sober.

  “Baby, are you crying because of that fucking bitch?” She didn’t answer right away, but he could hear her crying still. “Fuck, please don’t cry.” He hated that he was so drunk, that he couldn’t be there for her.

  “Listen, I thought I could do this on the phone, thought we could talk, but I can’t right now.” She sniffed. “Call me tomorrow when you’re sober, Rory. I love you.” And then she hung up, and he was tempted to crush his phone. He shoved his cell back in his pocket, rested his head in his hands, and cursed again. Whatever she wanted to talk about, whatever was making her cry, he had a feeling it didn’t have to do with this bullshit that just happened.

  Chapter Ten

  Lena woke at first because of a dream, one where she’d been running and running, but stayed in the same place. As she stared at the ceiling in her bedroom, sweat covering her forehead and chest, having her shirt damp, she realized it wasn’t actually the dream that had woken her up, but the pain in her abdomen. It wasn’t unbearable, but the longer she lay there, the minutes passing, the worse it became. Covering her belly with her hand she closed her eyes and breathed out. They were horrible cramps, and as another wave slammed into her she couldn’t help but think of Rory. The conversation just a few hours ago played through her head, that little bitch’s voice on the end of his cell making her angry, sad, and ready to break something.

  She sat up, gripped the sheet beneath her with one hand, and clenched her jaw. An involuntary cry left her, and sweat started to coat her forehead and between her breasts. Before long she was huddled over her bed, her arms around her waist, and a small cry leaving her because of the pain. That’s when she looked between her legs and saw the blood between her thighs. Wiping her finger over the inside of her leg, she brought her hand up and looked at the red substance that looked almost black under the moonlight.

  “Mom,” she said in a soft voice, her fear and panic mounting. “Mom!” She screamed out this time, feeling like she might pass out, but forcing herself to stand. The blood trailed down her thighs, and the pain picked up again. Her bedroom door burst opened, her light was turned on, and her mother and father stood there. She turned and stared at them with what she knew were wide, frightened eyes.

  “Lena, oh my God,” her mother said and came forward.

  Lena held up her hands and stared at the blood covering her fingers. “Something’s wrong.” And she knew, without going to the hospital, without running any tests that she’d lost the baby.

  ****

  “I’m sorry, but you’ve lost the baby.”

  The doctor stood in front of Lena and her mother, his white lab coat bright, stark … emotionless, just like his expression and voice. He stared down at a clipboard, wrote something, and then finally looked at her. He hadn’t even looked at her face when he told her she’d lost her baby.

  “Did you
have any questions?”

  Lena stared at the doctor for a second, and then turned and looked at her mother.

  “It’s okay, honey. If you have any questions now is the best time to ask.”

  Lena stared down at her hands for a second, and when she had enough courage she looked at the doctor again. He looked stoic, as if this was a run-of-the-mill conversation he had any day of the week.

  “Will I have trouble having children later in life?”

  He shook his head. “Not that I can see. The ultrasound and blood work looked okay, but you’ll need to take it easy for the next few days, and drink plenty of fluids. We’ll schedule a follow-up at the end of the week, and make sure everything cleared out. We don’t want infection setting in, or any other medical issues arising from the situation.”

  Cleared out.

  God, he sounded so clinical about it all.

  “The nurse will come in with more homecare instructions and a prescription for any residual discomfort you may have.”

  The doctor left a few minutes later, and the silence stretched out between her and her mother.

  Lena didn’t know what to say. She was in a pair of light blue hospital pants and a hospital gown. It was depressing, but she was going to be okay, or at least that’s what she told herself.

  Lena hadn’t even told Rory about being pregnant, and now she had to tell him that the baby was gone. The tears came fast and hard, and when her mom pulled her close, wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and told her everything was going to be okay, Lena wanted to believe that.

  When she was able to get control of herself and she stopped crying she pulled away from her mother.

  “Have you told Rory about the pregnancy?” her mother asked in a soft, caring voice.

  She shook her head. “I just barely found out.” She expected her mother to maybe yell at her, tell her it’s stupid that she wasn’t careful, that she should have been smart and used protection, but all her mom did was hold her again, kiss the top of her head, and tell her again things would be okay.

  “We’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

  Lena pulled back and looked at her mom. “You’re not mad at me, Mom?”

  Her mom smiled and shook her head. She wiped the tears that were still on Lena’s cheeks. “No, honey. I’m just worried about you. But I know you’ll be okay, because you’re strong.” She smoothed a hand over Lena’s hair. “It’ll be hard, but you have to tell Rory, sweetheart.”

  Lena looked at her hands.

  “He’ll understand and be there for you. That boy loves you so much.”

  That had Lena smiling. “I don’t want this information ruining what he has going on in Colorado with his job. If I tell him he’ll want to come back here and be with me, I know it.”

  “Sweetheart, whether he does or not is his choice, but you have to tell him. He needs to know.”

  Her mom was right, of course, but it was the truth that he’d want to come to her, be with her. She didn’t want him leaving his job behind, not when he had been so determined and anticipated making something of himself with it. She didn’t want to ruin that for him, but she also wouldn’t keep this from Rory either. He deserved to know. He deserved the truth.

  Chapter Eleven

  The feeling of his cell vibrating right by his face had Rory opening his eyes and searching the bed for his phone. He found it wedged under his pillow, grabbed it, and lifted the brightly lit screen to his face. The time read it was three in the morning, and the image of Lena’s gorgeous face on the screen stared back at him. He sat up, still slightly drunk, but he’d guzzled water and popped some pain relievers when he’d gotten home, so he was in much better shape than he had been hours ago.

  He scrubbed a hand over his face to wake up a bit more, and hit the accept button to answer the phone.

  “Lena, you okay, baby?” His voice was deep and guttural from sleep and still being partly buzzed. But the longer he sat up, the more he focused, the better he felt.

  “Rory…” She was crying hard now, the wracking sobs and her stuttering breath have everything in him coming to alert. This wasn’t about their conversation earlier in the night—he knew that with everything in him. No, his girl was calling him in the middle of the night because shit had happened.

  He stood up, his heart beating fast, adrenaline pumping through his body. “Lena, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” There was more crying, and he was feeling frantic now. Rory was thousands of miles away from her, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to hold her.

  “I’m sorry to call you this late, and to have to tell you this on the phone…” She was breathing hard, sniffing every so often, but he could tell she was trying to get control of herself.

  “Baby, you don’t ever be sorry.” The first thing that came to his mind was that someone had died. He didn’t think it was about Brian because that son-of-a-bitch was built like a tank, and no matter how he abused his body with alcohol and wear he kept on ticking. Maybe it was Lena’s mother or father? God, he wanted to be there with her. Sitting back down on the edge of the bed and trying to calm himself as well, he took a deep breath in and focused on the wall across from him. “Talk to me, baby,” he said softly this time, giving her time to regroup and relax a little.

  “I called…” She paused a moment. “God, I wish I didn’t have to tell you any of this on the phone.”

  Yeah, he wished that, too, wished like hell he were with her right now. He gave her a moment to regroup, to find her comfort zone in whatever she was struggling with right now, having a hard time telling him. But inside Rory was a wreck. He was a beast wanting out, wanting to make things right for Lena.

  “I called earlier to tell you I was pregnant, Rory,” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear her, or maybe he was in such shock it felt like he hadn’t heard her correctly.

  “What?” Rory wheezed out, and felt like his chest was on fire, like someone had a vise grip around his heart and lungs, squeezing, intent on sucking the very life from him. “Pregnant?” he wheezed out that lone word, but the silence stretched out between them. “Lena, baby, talk to me.” The shock was limb numbing, mind scattering, but he had to keep a straight head right now, for Lena’s sake. She was dealing with that alone, and he was in another state, not able to help her with this, or be there for her.

  “Rory,” she said his name but started crying harder this time. That’s when he heard someone else talking, heard her mother’s voice, and also made out what sounded like an overhead message because it sounded like it echoed. Sitting up even straighter, he knitted his brows.

  “Where are you, Lena?”

  Her mom kept saying something softly to Lena, and although he couldn’t make out the words the tone told him it was comforting.

  “I found out I was pregnant a couple of days ago, but before I called you tonight…” She paused again. “I lost the baby, Rory. I had a miscarriage.”

  Everything around him froze, the sound ceased, the air stilled, and all he could do now was stare at the wall and feel his heart pounding in his chest.

  Thump thump. Thump thump. Thump thump.

  “Lost the baby?” He said in a monotone voice, not sure how to take this in, how to absorb any of it. “You were pregnant?” He asked again, although she’d already told him that much. He hated himself that he didn’t have anything comforting to say at that moment, but he knew one thing: he had to be with her. “But you’re okay? You’ll be okay?” He felt frantic, scared shitless, and didn’t know how in the hell he wasn’t pacing the room and breaking shit, his emotions in turmoil.

  “I’m okay,” Lena spoke softly.

  They were both so silent that it was like the line went dead.

  “Are you okay, Rory?” she asked.

  Damn, here she was going through this alone and she was worried about him.

  “I’m okay, baby. Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay.” She cleared her throat, and he heard her mother speaking to her again
. “Stunned, sad … confused.”

  He breathed out roughly. “I wish I was there with you. I’d be holding you, Lena.”

  “I know, Rory. I wish you were here, too, but I’m okay. Everything will be okay.” More silence stretched between them, and he heard someone speaking overhead on the other line again. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away about the baby, but everything happened so fast.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. “It’s okay, Lena. You don’t apologize to me or about this. I am coming for you, coming to be with you. You don’t need to be alone right now.”

  “No, no,” she said and cleared her throat. “I’m fine. My mom’s here, and you leaving won’t do anything but have you possibly losing everything with your job. I am fine, really.”

  He didn’t fucking care, but he wasn’t going to argue this with her, especially not right now when she was probably really fucking fragile.

  “Listen, the nurse is here and she’s got to go over some things. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you, and we’ll talk later.”

  He could hear another woman in the background, and before he could tell Lena to stay on the line she whispered she loved him again and got off the phone.

  No fucking way he was going to be able to stay in Colorado, not when his girl needed him. No, Rory would do whatever it took to get back, even if that meant losing his job, and any opportunity he had with this company in the future. Lena was everything to him.

  She was his world, and he needed to be with her.

  ****

  She sat on her bed, staring out the window, her thoughts confused, heavy … sad. It had been three days since she’d lost the baby, seventy-two hours since she’d told Rory. Although she’d spoken to him on the phone since then, all she could keep thinking about was how this was her fault.

  She didn’t know how long she sat there, but the sound of someone coming up the stairs didn’t even faze her. She was too lost in her own thoughts, in wishing Rory was here, but knowing she didn’t want him to leave his job because he’d been so determined about it, almost excited about the advancements he’d make with the company and being able to provide for her.