True Desires

by Rhea Wilde

  “Come on. Don’t be shy.”

  I brushed by them as they continued their advances. I stepped the pace up a little but I could feel them walking behind me.

  “I said hello. Don’t you think it’s a little rude to ignore me?”

  I kept walking, hoping they would get the message but my hopes were only that. One of the men stood in front of me. I looked down and tried to walk around him but he moved back in front of me. I turned around to see the other man was standing behind me. I suddenly felt so alone in the city. It was as if we were the only three people on the streets.

  “What’s your name?” the man in front of me asked.

  I looked up and saw his toothy smile. Some of his teeth were missing but that didn’t stop him from showing off the jagged yellow shards inside of the darkness of his mouth. Along with his evil smile, his eyes displayed intentions that were undeniably sinister.

  “Listen,” I said. “I don’t have any money. I don’t have any drugs on me. I don’t have any jewelry. You’re better off—”

  “Who said we wanted any of that? Maybe my friend and I just want the pleasure of your company.”

  I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Knots started to turn in my gut. The alcohol wasn’t helping. I quickly started thinking of all of my options. I couldn’t just fight off two guys on the street. Reasoning with them was out of the question.

  Maybe I should just puke on them.

  Everything was on the table. I had to think of something. Quick.

  While I stood there and tried to think of a way out, the man in front of me moved closer. My head down, I could still smell the whiskey on his breath.

  “Please… I just want to go home and get some sleep.”

  “You can go home and get some sleep. My friend and I won’t take long. I promise—”

  I elbowed him in the stomach and dashed forward. The man collapsed to one knee. I stopped thinking. My body took control.

  “Get her!”

  As I raced down the street, I could hear the footsteps behind me. The alcohol I had indulged in just a few hours ago betrayed me. My legs wobbled. My knees buckled. The steps grew louder.

  “Come here!”

  In a sudden burst, two arms wrapped around me in a violent hug. I yelped in the air and fell to the pavement with a thud, knocking the wind out of me. The combination of liquor, disorientation and general sickness of what was happening began to consume me.

  “Move her! Over here!”

  I was dragged along the hard concrete. I yelled out again but my voice seemed caught in my throat. While I choked on my words, I scraped against the floor with my fingers in a desperate but failed attempt to get away.

  “You’re gonna pay, you stupid bitch—”

  “Hey!”

  The sound of men shouting filled my ears. My vision was blurry and I could barely make out the sidewalk in front of me. The brightness of the streetlights seemed so distant and dim.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

  The shouting grew louder. Then it changed to the odd sound of struggling. Grunts and obscenities ricocheted off the alley walls and pierced the night sky.

  My body was sore and I barely had control over myself. But I had just enough strength to flip over onto my back. I wasn’t sure what I was seeing.

  One of the men who confronted me just a moment ago was on the floor, motionless. The other was struggling with a man in a hooded sweatshirt.

  I blinked my eyes and narrowed them, trying to figure out if I were dreaming.

  What is going on? Am I going crazy?

  I couldn’t think straight. Two men were fighting right in front of me, one of them seemingly coming out of nowhere. Before I could figure out what was going on, the man in the sweatshirt delivered a fist against the thug’s jaw, sending him crashing to the brick wall behind him. My would-be attacker leaned up against the wall, barely holding himself up. But a punch lowered him down.

  Then another.

  Then another.

  Then another until he finally fell to the floor. The sickening smack of knuckles meeting flesh continued to ring in my ears as I tried to make sense of everything.

  My head turned to the carnage that had appeared before me so suddenly. I was so shocked I didn’t notice the man in the hood coming toward me. He stepped out of the darkness of the alleyway and lowered his hood. It was as if the moonlight was shining down on his face, and only his face, at that precise moment.

  Blue eyes pierced the darkness and stared back at me. Above them, blond hair that was sloppily tucked underneath a beanie to hide the rest of it.

  “Can you stand?”

  I stared into his eyes and blinked, unsure of what I was looking at. Everything around me seemed to disappear. I felt like I was in a dream. Or maybe it was a drunken stupor.

  “Can you stand?”

  He repeated the question. That’s when I looked down and noticed he had his hand extended out to me.

  “Oh…”

  My eyes widened in embarrassment. I placed my hand in his palm and he lifted me up from the ground with little effort.

  “Ow!”

  I grimaced from a sudden pain in my leg.

  “It’s all right,” he said. “You’ll be okay.”

  Before I could say anything, he placed one arm on my back and another behind my legs and picked me up from the ground. He swung my body so suddenly that I gasped.

  I didn’t struggle. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Instead, I sat there in his arms, cradled against his chest as he walked me out of the alley and down the street.

  “I’ve got a place you can rest for the night. Everything will be fine.”

  I looked up and saw the same thing I saw in the alley except the streetlights illuminated the sight even better. Blue diamonds peered back at me with a gentle intensity. His face was youthful. Clear, tan skin without a blemish. There was some scruff on his chin that made you wonder if he just shaved or he simply couldn’t grow a beard.

  He looked down at me with a polite, half-smile on his face, his lips tight and one side higher than the other.

  He was handsome. A strong jawline and cheekbones right underneath his gorgeous eyes. I would never have admitted it to myself but my state of mind was swirling at the moment. My veins full of alcohol instead of blood, for some reason I reached up with one hand and put my hand against his chiseled face. My fingers brushed against his squared jaw and felt the soft stubble on his skin.

  “My hero,” I whispered.

  Oh shit.

  I knew it as soon as I said it. I knew it before I even said it.

  What the hell was that?

  My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Even though I was drunk, I still had enough sense in me to know I was going to remember this for the rest of my life. Another moment etched into my memories that I would try to forget but would come back to me at the most inopportune times. Oh, the embarrassment.

  The smile and chuckle he returned weren’t enough to make me forget it so quickly.

  “Just relax,” he said to me. “We’re almost there. You can rest now.”

  There was nothing more for me to say or do. Frankly, I didn’t have the strength or energy to do it. After the long events of the night, I succumbed to the darkness and closed my eyes.

  Chapter 4

  I had a dream the other night. I was in the city. I was lost. It’s easy to get lost in the city. The buildings all looked the same, except for that big one in the middle, of course. All of the apartments and the small houses look the same, too.

  I dreamed I was walking down the sidewalk and nothing changed. I would walk by one house then a few moments would go by and it would be there again.

  The same with the people. The homeless looking at me with desperation in their eyes, staring at me with contempt.

  I kept walking until suddenly one of the people rushed at me and tackled me. A pair of arms tightened around me. Just as I was about to collide with the hard floor, I opened
my eyes and gasped.

  “Hey…”

  My body shot up from where it laid. The city was gone. The people were gone. Everything replaced by a barren apartment with nothing more than a sofa and a coffee table.

  “It’s okay.”

  My eyes followed the trail of the voice and saw a man standing in front of me.

  I remembered his eyes looking back at me. Bluer than any ocean I’d ever seen and easier to get lost in. The lights of the apartment allowed me to get a better look at his youthful face. He looked just as young as he was in my dream. The same friendly smile he had before remained.

  Am I dreaming?

  I blinked my eyes. Rusted gears in my head were churning. When the hangover crashed into my skull, I understood the truth. It wasn’t a dream.

  “Here.”

  I sat there and looked down at the mug the man held out to me.

  “Drink this.”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Just drink it. It’ll make you feel better.”

  “What—”

  Before I could question him any further, he moved the mug closer to me. I sighed and took it from him. Taking a drink from a stranger wasn’t a bright idea but it wasn’t the dumbest thing I’d ever done. I took a sip and the sting of alcohol was all too familiar.

  “This is vodka.”

  “Yeah,” he said. “I could smell it on your breath.”

  “I don’t think I should—”

  “It’ll help you feel better. Just a little bit. Then you can have some water.”

  “Right…”

  While I sipped on the rest of the liquor and continued the celebration from last night, I looked around the small apartment. There wasn’t much to look at. Even the paint on the walls hadn’t chipped, so there was nothing for me to focus on. Nothing except for him.

  I sheepishly shifted my eyes toward him. He moved back and took a seat on a single wooden chair next to his coffee table. He crossed his arms over his chest and that’s when I noticed how different he looked. The hooded sweatshirt was gone, replaced by a tight gray t-shirt. A bit of ink on his bulging left arm peeked out from underneath the sleeve. It was easy to believe how he’d picked me up last night with relative ease.

  “Noah,” he said.

  “W-what?”

  “Noah. My name’s Noah.”

  “Noah…”

  I nodded my head after hearing his name. He widened his eyes and held his hand out, a smile on his face.

  “And you are?

  “…Sheila.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Sheila. How do you feel?”

  “I don’t know,” I sighed. “I’m not sure what’s going on. I don’t remember…”

  “What do you remember?”

  “I remember…”

  I took another sip and the events of last night, my dream, slowly came back to me.

  “I went out for drinks,” I said as I recalled. “Then I headed home and—”

  “You went out for drinks and you decided to walk home by yourself?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And you thought that was a good idea?”

  “Good idea? No. I did say I went out for drinks. Poor planning on my part.”

  “That’s an understatement.”

  Noah gave me a half-smile, his white teeth barely peeking out from underneath his lips. I politely smiled back at him then hid my face behind my mug.

  “Who were they?” I asked.

  “Who?”

  “The guys who attacked me. The guys you…”

  “I don’t know,” he said with a shrug. “Just some punks. There’s no shortage of them in New Gardens.”

  There was an awkward silence beginning to fill the apartment. I shifted my eyes, trying to look for something to occupy my attention but there was nothing but him.

  “I don’t know what happened,” I said. “It was… It was dark. I know I put you through a lot of trouble and—”

  “You didn’t put me through any trouble. I would’ve done the same for anybody. Those thugs got what they deserved.”

  “They did. What I meant was I shouldn’t have been in that position in the first place. I was careless. I…”

  He was staring at me. Leaned back comfortable in his chair, his hands rested in his lap, he had a calmness on his face. I thought it was strange that any man would be so calm after letting a drunk stranger sleep on their couch.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked. “You took a pretty nasty tumble there.”

  “Yeah, I…”

  I looked down and saw the scrape on my elbow.

  “It’s superficial,” he told me. “The blood dried on its own.”

  I nodded without looking at him. Last night was more serious than I wanted to think. If he wasn’t there… If Noah wasn’t there…

  I put the mug down on the coffee table.

  “Listen, I have to be somewhere.”

  I jumped up from the sofa and a sudden pain in my leg made me buckle like I’d just stepped in fresh snow.

  “Whoa! Take it easy!”

  Noah stood up and put his hands up to brace me.

  “I said you took a nasty tumble. Your leg is probably in worse shape than your arm.”

  “Yeah…”

  I reached down and felt around my knee. When I applied pressure, I knew it was definitely bruised.

  “Easy now…” he whispered as I took a step forward.

  I gingerly tried to make my way away from the sofa.

  “Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked.

  “I’ll manage. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

  I turned my head and looked up at him. He was several inches taller than me. Tall enough that I had to turn my head up to look at him when he stood close to me. As he moved closer, I instinctively swallowed for a reason I didn’t want to acknowledge. I wasn’t drunk now and he appeared even more handsome than he did before.

  His eyes…

  “I’ve gotta be somewhere,” I said to him.

  “Is it that important?”

  “Yes, it’s important. I’m late for work and—”

  “Work isn’t that important. People call in sick for work all the time.”

  “Yeah, well, they don’t do the kind of work that I do. Most of them anyway.”

  “What do you do?”

  I looked up at him, wondering if I should even bother humoring him. He didn’t budge though. He just stood there and waited for a response.

  “I work at a shelter,” I said. “A few blocks down from… Where are we exactly?”

  “We’re on 24th.”

  “Right. So it is a few blocks down from here.”

  “Well,” he sighed. “It looks like you do important work. Those people probably need you, even though you’re a little hurt. I’ll let you go on your way. It was nice meeting you, Sheila.”

  He stood off to the side and held his arm out as if ushering me toward the exit of his apartment. I slowly paced my way forward, each step painful but more bearable than the last. I limped all the way to his front door and put my hand on the handle. I turned it slightly before resting it there for a few seconds.

  What are you doing? This guy just saved your life and you’re just going to walk away from him. You’re better than that.

  I nodded as if acknowledging my thoughts. When I turned around, he was standing there with his thumbs in his pockets, the same friendly smile on his face that he’d always had.

  “Listen, I owe you—”

  “You don’t owe me anything,” he interrupted me.

  “No. I do. You… You saved my life. And I really do appreciate it. I just… I don’t know how to thank you except saying thank you.”

  He didn’t say anything. He just nodded. And that was it. He didn’t look like he needed anything more. The look on his face told me he genuinely didn’t care he’d risk his own safety for me. I couldn’t let it stand. I didn’t want to.

  “I want to thank you,” I said. “In some ot
her way but I don’t really have any money and—”

  “You think I want a reward?”

  “No, it’s not that. It’s just—”

  “I’ll tell you what,” he said with a laugh. “I work over at a shop on Underwood Ave.”

  “A shop?”

  “It’s a small garage. Electronics, too. You can’t miss it. If you ever win the lottery and you want to give me a slice, feel free to stop by.”

  “Right.”

  I sighed with relief. I couldn’t figure out how to express the feeling of gratefulness that I had. Something in his eyes told me he knew.

  We shared a silent moment together in the tiny hallway of his apartment before I turned around and opened the door.

  “Bye, Sheila.”

  “Bye… Noah.”

  I turned around and gave him a nod before stepping outside and back into the city.

  As I made my way up the sidewalk, I quickly became distracted from the pain in my leg by the heat of the sun. I always thought summer was endless but sure enough, the sun was always out to remind the people of New Gardens how miserable they should be.

  I managed the walk back to the shelter without too much effort. There was no air-conditioning inside but I welcomed the shade. The shade was appropriate for the grim atmosphere.

  Every day it was the same thing. Homeless men and women too weak from hunger to get up out of bed. Addicts focused on nothing more than getting their next hit. Single mothers trying their hardest to raise newborns on their own. The only hopeful sight was the television. A group of people was always gathered around the TV. It didn’t matter what was on. The TV was always there. The light shining from it was a beacon of hope.

  I had only stepped into the shelter for a second when I was already being called for.

  “There’s the birthday girl.”

  I turned and saw Marie standing a few feet away from me, filling out some paperwork on her clipboard.

  Marie was a nurse at the shelter. She’d worked at a few clinics before but decided to come to a place that desperately needed her. She was about a decade older than me but you wouldn’t be able to tell. Her hair was still brown and she didn’t have any noticeable wrinkles. She was fit and walked around like she just had a dozen energy drinks. I didn’t know how she did it but I admired her all the same.