True Desires

by Rhea Wilde

  “It’s not my birthday yet,” I said.

  “Well, it’s never too early to celebrate.”

  “Listen, I’m sorry. I’m a little late.”

  “Don’t worry. Max told me about all the trouble you got into. He said—”

  She stopped what she was doing after glancing up at me. She looked over the thick frames of her glasses and eyeballed my arm.

  “What happened to your arm? My goodness…”

  “What?” I said as I tilted my head down. “Oh, it’s—”

  “You need something for that.”

  “No!” I said as I put my hands up. “I’m all right. It’s just a scrape. That’s it. I’m fine. Really.”

  I kept repeating myself to try and reassure her. It was hard to reassure a woman like Marie. She was a motherly figure at the shelter, even to someone like me. I couldn’t stop her from being overprotective. She would definitely make a big deal about what happened last night if she ever found out.

  “Are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’m sure.”

  “If you say so,” she sighed. “Kimmy’s here to see you.”

  “Kimmy?”

  “Yeah, in your office.”

  “Oh, right.”

  Just as quickly as Marie had expressed concern for my arm, her attention was back on the clipboard. There were a lot of people coming in looking for assistance and keeping track of all of them was an endless task. I left Marie to it and made my way to my office in the back of the building.

  When I opened the door, I saw a young girl sitting patiently in front of my desk.

  “Oh, hey!” she said with a smile after turning to me.

  “I’m sorry, Kimmy. I got caught up with something. You haven’t been waiting long, have you?”

  “It’s okay. It wasn’t that long. Besides, I don’t really have much else to do, Miss Cooper.”

  “Sheila. Call me Sheila.”

  “Right. Sorry.”

  “You don’t ever have to apologize to me, okay?”

  “Oh, right. Sor—”

  She caught herself the second time and giggled. I took a seat at my desk across from her.

  Kimmy was just a teenager. A lot of people in the city were victims of life and Kimmy was a prime example. You could tell just by looking at her. Her brown hair was short and uneven like she didn’t care about it. Her skin was pale. When she smiled, she had an innocence about her that was amplified by a missing tooth. She had tiny bags underneath her eyes and she looked worn out most of the time. I didn’t know how she spent most of her days before I met her but it was easy to get an idea.

  She was alone. She told me about how her foster parents neglected her and she bounced around from family to family. Running away was actually a good option for her. But that meant dropping out of school and running with the wrong crowd. A crowd I probably ran into just last night.

  “How are you doing?” I asked her. “Are you doing all right?”

  “I’m doing great. I… I can’t complain.”

  “You know you can tell me anything. Anything you tell me stays between us.”

  “I know. I trust you, Sheila.”

  “Good. So, what have you been up to?”

  “Not much. I did what you told me to do.”

  “What did I tell you to do?”

  “To go to the library, read some books, use some of the computers.”

  “Did you? How was it?”

  “Kind of confusing. It’s a little overwhelming.”

  “That’s okay. We’re all overwhelmed from time to time. You know, Kimmy…”

  I leaned forward to speak to her as if it would help me get through to her.

  “It’s not too late,” I continued. “It’s never too late to go back to school.”

  “Sheila, I don’t know…”

  “You don’t have to go back to school. You can learn and study on your own. You can get a diploma and you can do whatever you want.”

  “I thought maybe I could get a job.”

  “A job? Okay, do you know what kind of job you might want?”

  “That’s just it. Sheila, I…”

  She suddenly became reticent. I furrowed my brow in slight confusion as she suddenly turned her head down. Her arms squeezed against her tiny body. Squirming in her seat, she’d suddenly become uncomfortable.

  “Kimmy?”

  “…You have to promise not to tell anybody, okay?”

  “Of course. What is it?”

  I waited for a response for a few moments before she finally turned up to me with a big grin on her face.

  “I met someone.”

  The smile was enough to tell me everything. It was the smile everyone had when they had that kind of feeling in their stomach and in their hearts.

  “You did?” I said with a laugh.

  “Yeah… He’s… He’s great!”

  “Oh, yeah? Who is he? What’s his name?”

  “You… You have to promise not to tell anybody.”

  “Kimmy, it’s all right.”

  “His name’s Victor. Victor Castle.”

  “Oh… Okay.”

  “He said he might have a job lined up for me. He said I could make some good money.”

  “A job? Like what? Subway? Starbucks? Wal-Mart?”

  “No, nothing like that. I don’t think so.”

  “Then what?”

  “I don’t know,” she said with a shrug. “But he really cares about me and I know he’s looking out for me.”

  It was hard to tell with anybody in this city. The feeling in the pit of my stomach told me this was good to be true. But I’d never heard of this guy before and I had no reason to stop her.

  “What do you think?” she asked.

  I stared at her then shifted my eyes toward her left arm. The track marks along the bend of her elbow were slowly beginning to heal.

  “Remember what I said?” I told her. “You can’t go back to using that stuff. No matter what you do.”

  “Oh, I know. Victor’s not like that. He… He only wants what’s best for me.”

  I leaned back in my chair and sighed. I believed Kimmy was being sincere. There wasn’t any indication she was back on using the stuff she did before. I wanted to find a reason to object but couldn’t. I feared telling her no would only push her away.

  “Have you ever been in love, Sheila?”

  “What?”

  “Have you ever been in love? Have you ever met a guy who wanted to be with you as much as you wanted to be with him?”

  I softly bit the inside of my cheek and slightly nodded to her.

  “Yeah… I think we’ve all been there before.”

  “Good. Then you understand. I know you’re single but maybe you’ll meet a guy like Victor one day.”

  “Ha!”

  Kimmy’s candid honesty forced me to laugh and break the seriousness of the moment. I’d had dozens of conversations with Kimmy but they weren’t anything like this. There was no denying her.

  “Just be careful, okay?” I said to her. “Promise me that.”

  “I promise I’ll be careful… Listen, I gotta go now.”

  “Of course. I’ll see you around. Remember, I’m here if you need me.”

  Kimmy bounced up out of her chair and left my office before I could say anything more. I decided to let it go. I couldn’t deny her feelings just because of my bad feelings.

  While our conversation was still fresh in my memory, I pulled out a notepad and scribbled on it.

  Victor Castle

  I underlined the name and stared at it for a few seconds, unsure if my concern was warranted or not.

  Chapter 5

  What am I doing?

  I took a few more meetings in my office and decided to help out in the shelter. Some of the residents needed some assistance with the usual chores. It wasn’t something I had a problem with. It was easy. But when Marie caught me limping, she called me out. You could never get anything past a nurse like her.
A thorough examination revealed it was only a deep bruise. Insisting I was fine wasn’t enough for her. She ordered me to take a couple of days off.

  What am I doing?

  I was off-work earlier than I usually was. It was still the middle of the summer and the sun was beginning to go down, so the heat was a little more bearable. My options were limited.

  What am I doing?

  So I went and did something that was on my mind. If I were being honest with myself, it was the only thing on my mind.

  What am I doing?

  I questioned myself the entire time. It wasn’t enough to stop me. I think it was just my way of trying to calm my nerves. I was so caught up in talking to myself I barely noticed when I wandered onto Underwood.

  Underwood Avenue was a little different from the other streets in the city. From afar, New Gardens looked like any generic metropolitan city. And when you took a closer look, it had the same rundown buildings and empty construction sites other cities had. Underwood was different. Underwood was a place you couldn’t confuse with anywhere else.

  I was immediately reminded of that when I was greeted by the smoke and smell of exhaust. Not just any exhaust. This was loud, dirty, black exhaust. The kind of stuff you see in climate change videos coming from coal factories. But this stuff was coming from one of the bikes peeling down the street.

  There were more than a few gangs here. They all looked the same to me though. One motorcycle club looked as identical to the next and when they were all close together like this on one street, there was no chance I would be able to tell them apart.

  The clubs minded their own business for the most part. If you went about your day, they’d go about theirs and nothing would happen. They weren’t the friendliest bunch but it’s not something I ever bothered to learn about. As far as I was concerned, it was just another slice of the city that made New Gardens as unique as it was.

  Over the roar of the engines and the hooting and hollering, I looked at all of the stores and shops, trying to find my destination. Noah wasn’t specific but I eventually found what I was looking for. An old electronics shop with a slightly open garage door right next to it. Nothing fancy. Then again, nothing on Underwood was fancy.

  A bell rang when I opened the door and stepped inside of the shop. A man stood behind the glass counter with dozens of electronics on display behind lock and key.

  He was a middle-aged man, heavy-set with just a few wisps of white hair circling his head. His shirt was undone enough for me to see the hairs on his chest poking out. He leaned against the counter and peered down at the device in front of him. It looked like an iPhone. A dainty screwdriver twisted between his fingertips as he held the phone down with his other hand.

  “I’ll be with you in just a second,” he said, his voice filled with concentration.

  I waited patiently and watched as he unscrewed the phone and split it open. He peered up at me. He pressed the center of his glasses to his nose then gave me a slightly unnerving stare.

  “How can I help you?”

  “Actually… I was here to see someone. Noah… was his name?”

  “Right, right. You got something wrong with your car? The list is a little long—”

  “No, it’s not that. I just wanted to see… him.”

  What am I doing?

  There was something strange about saying it out loud. There wasn’t any reason for me to come here and visit, especially so quickly. I’d told him thank you and he seemed genuine about not expecting much else.

  “Oh… You want to talk to Noah? Just talk to him? Is that right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Listen, lady. We get a lot of women coming in here wanting to talk to him. I got a business to run. He’s on-the-clock. Now if I called Noah out here every single time some dame came in here wanting to catch an eyeful, we’d never get any work done. He’d be too busy chatting it up and I’d be too busy yelling at him to get back to work.”

  I would’ve laughed at the big man if he were giving someone else an earful. Instead, the cantankerous old guy decided to unleash his frustration on me.

  “Every single time,” he muttered. “Can’t get any work done.”

  Before I even said anything, he turned his attention back to the phone on the counter.

  “It’s all right,” I said as I shook my head. “I’ll… try again another time.”

  I turned around and decided to leave.

  That was a great idea, Sheila.

  Just as I put my hand on the door handle, I heard a voice behind me.

  “Hey! Sheila?”

  I turned around and there he was. The man who’d saved me.

  He looked different. It was mostly because he was wearing a dirty tank-top covered in grease. The rest of his arms were covered in grease, too, and they blended with the tattoos on his arm. He still wore the same beanie to cover his hair. His pleasant smile was still the same, too.

  “I was just in the garage,” he said. “Getting some work done.”

  “Getting some work done?” the older man chimed in. “If you’re out here, you’re not getting any work done.”

  “Hey, relax, Lou. She’s all right. She’s a friend.”

  “A friend?”

  “No, not that kind of friend. I mean, she’s… It’s cool. It’s business.”

  “Your business is taking care of all the work you’ve gotta deal with. You know how backed up we are already.”

  “I’ll get the work done. When has anybody ever complained?”

  “They never complain because you do good work.”

  “Exactly. If they want it done fast, they can get it done at one of those overpriced, oil-change places.”

  Lou looked at Noah then peered at me, his head down. He grumbled a bit before turning his attention back to the phone he was fiddling with.

  “Just get the work done,” he growled.

  “Come here,” Noah said as he motioned to me.

  I followed Noah through the back of the shop and into the garage that was right next door. Inside of it, there were dozens of car and motorcycle parts I couldn’t tell apart. Bikes laid flat on the ground and hung from the ceilings. There was plenty of space to move around. Seemingly too much for one man.

  “Don’t mind Lou,” Noah said. “He might seem a little grouchy but he’s a good guy.”

  “He mentioned something about friends. Something about people coming here to see you.”

  “Oh… Right… I don’t know what that’s about,” Noah said with a shrug. “I get a lot of attention. I like to think it’s because of the good work I do.”

  Or maybe it’s because of something else.

  “Over here, Sheila. Take a seat.”

  Noah wiped the grease on his hands with a towel then pointed me to an old shop chair in the corner. After I took a seat, I watched him pick up a wrench and start twisting at a few bolts locked down to a chopper. His muscles flexed and the veins on his bicep began to appear.

  Sheila…

  I shifted my eyes around the garage to avoid staring.

  “How’s your leg?” he asked. “You’re still limping on it. It’s only been a few hours though.”

  “It’s all right. I had it checked out. Just a bruise. A deep contusion, she called it. It’ll heal on its own and I should be walking straight in a couple of days.”

  “Good to hear. I expected as much but it’s always nice to know for sure.”

  Noah grunted and sighed softly as he continued to work on the machine in front of him. While I examined all of the car parts in the musty and dim garage, I couldn’t help but notice the sheer volume of it all.

  “Does Lou ever help you with any of this?”

  “Lou?” Noah looked up at me and started to laugh. “Lou is an electronics guy. Can’t tell you a thing about what’s in here. He had the garage to spare though. I said I needed some work and he decided to let me use his space and open up shop.”

  “Business certainly seems good.”
>
  “I make a living. The work is steady and I’ve got some loyal customers but I’ll never be a millionaire. You’ve seen my apartment. I’m just fine living a Spartan lifestyle.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  “Yeah, it’s good honest work.”

  He stood up straight and sighed. I was watching him work but didn’t notice the tinge of sweat building up on his skin. He held his wrist up to his forehead and wiped away the sweat as he looked over at me.

  “What brings you here?” he asked.

  “I got off work early and had some free time. I just… I wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about what you did. I’m… I’m still thinking of a way to thank you. I haven’t come up with anything yet but I will.”

  “You know, I said—”

  “I know what you said. But I have to. You have to let me figure out a way to thank you. It’s nothing really. Please.”

  He shrugged and put his hands up in the air.

  “All right,” he sighed. “It’s up to you. I’d never make you do anything you didn’t want to do. I did what any decent man would have done.”

  “…What exactly happened last night?”

  “Well… Let’s see…”

  He bent down and went to work on an engine block that was on the floor. Nuts, bolts and screws were scattered all around it but Noah made his way around everything effortlessly.

  “I was out. Just hanging out with some people, you know? Then I started walking home and heard someone scream. I guess that was you shouting. Instinct kind of took over from there. I saw them pull you into the alley and I ran over.”

  “Do you think that was a smart thing to do?”

  “What was a smart thing to do?”

  “Attacking two thugs off the street. I mean, you didn’t know them. You didn’t know what they’re capable of. They could have had weapons.”

  “I see your point.”

  He stood up straight and looked at me. Even though it was all over, I was suddenly concerned for his safety over what had happened.

  “It was a chance I had to take,” he said. “I couldn’t just do nothing.”

  “You could have gotten hurt… or worse.”