Hearts of Blue

by L.H. Cosway

  “Oh, no, we’re not….” I began, but she waved me off.

  “Don’t bother. I get it. I just hope you both know what you’re doing,” she said, her face serious.

  And that was the problem, wasn’t it? I wasn’t sure either one of us had a clue what we were setting ourselves up for, or where this would lead. Ever since I’d first met Lee, a feeling of recklessness had formulated in my gut, and it had only grown bigger and bigger each time I saw him. A part of me didn’t want to live by all the rules and procedures anymore; it wanted them to scatter in the wind.

  Trevor turned to go into the kitchen, and I followed him. Stu was sitting at the table, typing on a laptop, while Lee stood by the cooker, checking on the food.

  “What the fuck’s she doing here?” somebody asked angrily, and my attention went across the room to Liam, who was leaning against the wall with his arms folded. I shot Trevor an annoyed glance. Clearly he’d been lying when he said Lee had told his brothers I was coming.

  “Yeah, I second that,” Stu piped in, his eyes narrowed to slits.

  The two of them regarded me with open hostility, causing my stomach to twist with discomfort. The notion that I shouldn’t have been there echoed in my head once more. Lee wiped his hands on a dishcloth and levelled each of his brothers with a sharp look. “The two of you, shut it. She’s here because I say so.”

  Both Liam and Stu bristled at the authority in his voice, but they didn’t argue. I barely had a chance to blink when Lee came toward me, his stride purposeful.

  “Karla,” he breathed, and the way he said my name made me shiver. He slid his fingers between mine and pulled me back out into the hallway for privacy.

  “They’re right — I should leave,” I said before he could get a word in.

  His hands went to my face, palms cupping my cheeks as his eyes flickered over my features. “You look tired,” he murmured, his voice low and tender. The gravelly tone had a strangely arousing effect on me, and I suddenly felt too warm. I was also overly aware of how much I’d missed him. All of him.

  Trying to summon some reserve, I took his hands and lowered them from my face before stepping back a bit. Clearing my throat, I said, “Trevor said you had an update for me.”

  Lee frowned and closed the distance I’d put between us. “Still all business, eh?”

  “I don’t see how I should be any other way.”

  We stared at one another in silence, so much want between us I could almost taste it on my tongue. Unable to resist, my gaze lowered to his lips. I missed how they felt on me, missed how his eyes could devour me from the inside out. Schooling my expression, I knew Lee could see just how much of a hard time I was having being this close to him. He took a deep breath and stepped away.

  “All right. Let’s do this your way, then. The update is that everything’s been settled. Nobody’s gunning for you anymore. It was mostly a precaution anyway, because they didn’t even know your name.”

  Air rushed out of me all at once. “That’s good news.”

  Lee eyed me speculatively. “Yeah, it is. So, are you staying for dinner, or are you gonna run off now that you’ve gotten what you wanted?”

  “You could have just called me, you know.”

  “I know,” Lee said, looking me up and down before whispering, “but then I wouldn’t get to see you.” He breathed in deep, moving closer, and I shivered slightly. “You smell incredible. What is that?”

  “Uh, honey and almond,” I answered, blinking. His proximity was causing me to flounder a little.

  “Stay, Karla, eat. I want to spend time with you. And I promise I won’t touch you unless you ask me for it,” he told me huskily.

  I should have tucked tail and fled right then, but I didn’t. No, I was my own worst enemy, because I didn’t have the willpower to say no to him. Finally, I nodded shyly and was rewarded with the handsomest of smiles. He took my hand in his again and led me back into the kitchen.

  Twelve

  I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I sat at a table and ate a proper family-style dinner. Sure, I visited Mum and Dad’s every once in a while, but that was different. There was no warmth between us. The Cross brothers did Sunday dinner the way it was supposed to be done. People passed bowls of food around, they spoke over each other, they laughed, but more importantly, it was clear that they all genuinely enjoyed one another’s company. Well, aside from the fact that Stu and Liam refused to acknowledge my presence.

  Still, it wasn’t a chore like it was when I went to visit my parents. And really, it made me uncomfortable to think how much more functional this family of thieves was compared to the strict, law-abiding household I’d grown up in.

  Sitting between Lee and Trevor, I tried to focus on my food rather than the fact that Lee’s thigh was pressed up against mine, the weight of it sending butterflies flittering around in my stomach with wild abandon. As soon as he’d taken the seat beside me, he positioned his legs so we were touching. He was already breaking the promise he’d made in the hallway, but I didn’t care. In fact, I savoured the contact.

  For some reason, I couldn’t take my eyes off Sophie where she sat at the end of the table, helping her son with his dinner. More so than ever I felt sort of…empty, knowing I’d never get to experience that maternal bond, or care for a child who belonged to me.

  “You okay, Snap?” Lee asked, his eyes wandering from Sophie and then back to me. He’d obviously caught me looking.

  I scooped some potatoes up onto my fork and nodded, before shovelling them in my mouth so that I wouldn’t have to speak. Unlike Trevor, who seemed to have decided we were buddies now, Liam and Stu continued to ignore me.

  When everyone was finished eating, Lee went over and took a plate covered in tin foil out of the oven.

  “Liam, go bring this down to Mrs Spencer, would you?” he said.

  Liam nodded and got up, taking the plate from him and heading out. He’d set aside dinner for the old lady? My heart really didn’t know how to deal with that information, because it made him far more appealing than he had any business being.

  I tried to help Lee wash up, but he told me to sit and relax. Next, dessert was served, which consisted of a delicious jelly trifle. I was stuffed by the time I was done, and Sophie invited me into the living room to sit with Jonathan and Billie while the boys cleaned up. Standing by the door, I felt unsure of myself, but then looked down and found Billie staring up at me, a doll in her hand.

  “Do you want to play with Sally?” she asked, presenting the doll.

  “Uh, sure,” I replied, taking it while she led me into the room.

  I sat next to Sophie while Billie informed Jonathan they were going to play a game of tea party. I almost laughed when Jonathan screwed up his face in displeasure.

  “Trevor said you want to foster her,” I said quietly.

  Sophie let out a long sigh. “I suppose you’re going to tell me it’s a bad idea, that I’m too young.”

  “Not at all. I think it’s a very honourable thing to do. In fact, I can send you some information if you’d like. It’d help you figure out where to get started.”

  She glanced at me in surprise. “Really?”

  “Sure.”

  Her lip quivered slightly as she shot me a look of thanks and looked back to Billie. “She reminds me so much of myself when I was little, you know. I just hate the idea of her going through what I went through. If I can give her a safe place like Lee gave me a safe place, then I’ll do everything I can to make it happen.”

  Lee gave her a safe place, and God, he was only a kid himself. The thought made my heart squeeze yet again. A silence passed between us before Sophie turned to me. “He’s a good person, deep down. We all are.”

  Unsure of what to say, I took her hand and gave it a squeeze before finally replying, “I know you are.”

  After a while, I excused myself to go use the bathroom. Once there, I splashed some water on my face to freshen up, still feeling kind of crappy
after last night’s indulgence. When I returned, I found Lee had come in from the kitchen. He had Billie on his lap as he unravelled the French plait from her hair. I was struck speechless by the sight of him being so affectionate and caring with a child who wasn’t even related to him, and a feeling of warmth spread across my chest.

  “There, all done,” he said before Billie turned and gave him a hug.

  “Thanks, Lee. Sophie always plaits my hair way too tight,” she told him, rubbing her head.

  “Hey! I heard that!” Sophie exclaimed, feigning annoyance.

  Lee chuckled, his eyes finding mine, and he saw how I was hovering. “Come in, Snap.”

  Stepping inside, I went to sit on the couch, but Lee grabbed my wrist and swung me around, pulling me down to sit next to him on the love seat. The heat of his body pressed all along the side of mine, and I felt a sudden bout of nervousness. It was doubled when Sophie gave Lee a knowing smile and announced she was taking Billie and Jonathan for a walk.

  Lee picked up the remote, flicking through the stations. “You want to watch a movie?” he asked, his attention fixed to the screen. Peering at his profile, I took in the smooth sweep of his nose, the angular curve of his lips.

  “Okay,” I replied, my voice unexpectedly soft.

  It snagged Lee’s attention, and his gaze flicked to mine, catching me studying him. I looked away quickly, fighting a blush.

  Without looking, I knew he was smirking. “You looked hot last night in your blue dress.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Pity I didn’t get to see it.”

  “You saw a picture.”

  He let out a slow breath. “Not the same thing.”

  My attention returned to the screen as Lee selected a movie to watch. I settled into the seat, and he draped his arm along the back. I could feel his heat on my neck then, and there was something relaxing about it. He smelled of a fresh citrus cologne and fabric softener. I wanted to rest my head on his shoulder, but I wasn’t brave enough. The house seemed quiet, and I wondered if his brothers had gone out somewhere.

  As the movie progressed, I found my eyes drifting shut. Somewhere along the way, Lee’s arm dropped down and was now tucked around me, holding me close. I felt warm and safe, so much so that I fell asleep. I only woke up when I felt Lee’s nose nuzzling into my temple. The closing credits were rolling down the screen.

  “I should get going,” I said past a yawn.

  Lee didn’t respond, but instead his mouth dropped slowly to my neck, where he pressed his lips against my skin. A quiet breath escaped me, and his arm pulled my body close. His lips continued to travel from my neck to my jaw, and then finally to the edge of my mouth. When he kissed me, I trembled. It was slow at first, just a gentle press of his mouth before his tongue sneaked out to taste me. There was something about the slowness of his movements that felt drugging. His hands circled my waist, then lifted me so I was straddling him. The kiss intensified as our bodies moved, seeking friction. We stayed like that for a while, and by the time we came up for air, we were both breathless.

  “Stay with me tonight,” Lee murmured, his voice a sexy rumble.

  I leaned back down to kiss him again, grinding myself off his erection, and his eyes flickered shut. His tongue dipped into my mouth while his hands roamed my bottom.

  “Fuck,” he swore. “Let me take you upstairs — otherwise, I’m gonna embarrass myself.”

  I felt a blush coming on again when I got his meaning, and allowed him to pull me up from the seat. Lee laced his fingers with mine and led me up two flights of stairs to the attic. His room must have been the biggest in the house. It had a king-sized bed, a flat-screen TV on the wall, a large wardrobe, and an en-suite bathroom. I let go of his hand and walked around, taking it all in. There were two windows, but instead of looking out, they looked up. The way I could see the stars was sort of romantic.

  Lee approached me from behind, his arms sliding around my waist, pulling my arse flush with his cock. His mouth returned to my neck, and I swear my entire body turned to liquid.

  “You can see the stars from here,” I whispered.

  “I’ll make you see stars, Karla,” he promised before pulling me over to his bed. He was unexpectedly tender when he laid me down. It was at odds with the predatory look he gave me as he climbed onto the mattress, his hands going to the waist of my jeans and unbuttoning the fly.

  “What are you doing?” I asked, breathless.

  When he glanced up his eyes were dark, and I shuddered, recognizing his intention. Seconds later my jeans were gone, and I was left in my T-shirt and boy shorts.

  “Hmm, these are sexy,” Lee said, humming. “But they need to go.”

  He pulled them off with practiced hands. Nerves coiled in the pit of my stomach when I was bared to him, suddenly aware of the fact that he hadn’t even turned the lights off. This was so much different from being with him in the darkness of the nightclub. Here in his bedroom, he was going to be able to see everything. I clammed up, and he seemed to sense it.

  “Don’t do that,” he whispered. “You’re beautiful.”

  His eyes wandered between my legs, gently parting my thighs so he could see all of me. Letting out a low expletive, he rose long enough to rid himself of his clothes. I stared open-mouthed at his body, at the taut muscles and smooth skin. His cock was unmistakably hard, and when he fisted it, pumping up and down, a fire sparked within me. I was so wet for him I ached.

  “You see what you do to me,” he asked, voice gruff.

  Biting my lip, I nodded.

  “Let your hair down, babe.”

  I reached up, pulling out my clip and letting my hair fall around my shoulders. Lee’s eyes blazed, eating up every inch of me. A second later, he was climbing back onto the bed, positioning his face between my thighs. A quiet gasp escaped me when his head dipped forward and his tongue flicked experimentally over my clit. I moaned, and a low growl emanated from deep in his chest. I squirmed a little, but his hands went to my thighs, holding me down. His stubble scraped deliciously along my skin when he pressed his mouth over all of me.

  “Lee,” I cried out, my hands fisting his blankets as my body bucked forward.

  “Watch me,” he said, his voice low and commanding.

  His tongue flicked out and licked a line all the way up to my clit. One finger entered me, and I felt myself spasm around him. He moved it slowly in and out, intense pleasure shattering through me. When his tongue began circling my clit with determination, my eyes fell closed, unable to handle the intensity.

  One of Lee’s hands went to the hem of my T-shirt. “Take this off,” he grunted between licks.

  When I pulled it up over my head and threw it to the floor, his eyes moved over my breasts as though mapping every inch of them. Aware that there were people downstairs, I tried not to make too much noise, but it was difficult. Lee clearly knew what he was doing and he took his time, dragging it out, trying to make me beg. It didn’t take long for me to give him what he wanted.

  “Please,” I mewled.

  His hands circled my waist, fingers digging wantonly into the flesh of my hips. He groaned when our eyes met, and I watched his tongue as it moved on me. The sight was unnervingly erotic, and within seconds I came with thundering shudders right on his mouth. He continued licking me, drawing out every ounce of my pleasure. I was still revelling in a post-orgasmic haze when his heat left me, and I was vaguely aware of him opening a drawer.

  A moment later he was back, rolling a condom down his impressive length as he knelt at the end of the bed. His head was tilted to one side as he murmured, “Fucking beautiful.”

  “I need you,” I whispered, breathless.

  Now that I’d come down from the high he’d just given me, I was desperate to have him inside. His eyes traced my body, stopping momentarily on the scar on my stomach. It was old, barely visible, really, but in that moment I was hyperaware of the imperfection. Lee didn’t ask me where I’d gotten it, and instead continued
to soak in the sight of my naked body like it was his favourite work of art.

  Bracing his hands above my shoulders, he leant his head down to lick at my nipples. I moaned when he sucked one into his mouth and then the other, swirling his tongue around the needy flesh.

  “You’re all soft and ready for me,” he said, his voice the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. “I can’t wait to feel you, Karla.”

  My breathing began to quicken again when he lifted my thighs around his hips. He held me up, staring at me fiercely, and some sharp emotion cut through my chest. A second later he plunged into me hard, causing electricity to crackle all over my body. Our eyes stayed connected, and I felt like I could see right to the core of him in that moment. There was no wall up, no mask or pretence. All I saw was him, and it was beautiful.

  He moved in me slowly, and I closed my eyes so I could savour the lazy drag against my nerve endings.

  “Open your eyes,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

  I did as he said, struck speechless by the emotions washing through the clear blue depths of his irises. Right then, I knew that this thing between us was real to him, that he felt things for me far stronger than simple lust. It was jarring, but at the same time it gave me clarity on my own feelings, and how I felt more than fleeting attraction for him, too.

  He never sped up his movements, but instead continued to rock back and forth in an even pace. He was learning me, feeling me, making love to me. The sound of our breathing and the quiet slap of our bodies as they connected filled the room. I moaned when he reached down and pressed a finger to the bundle of nerves between my legs.

  His forehead shone with a thin layer of sweat, the muscles of his abdomen tensing with every thrust of this hips. I loved the definition in his arms as he held his body above mine.

  His movements became a little more frenzied when he leaned down and pressed his forehead to mine. “Come on my dick,” he urged, his voice strained.