by Bry Ann
I spin around to see tears spilling over her cheeks. She looks genuinely devastated. A bit of my anger slips away.
“Yeah, well, I don’t know that you love me.”
“Sven…” She chokes.
“Just drop it. It’s fine. Go to your friend.”
“How do I fix this?”
She takes a tentative step forward, like she’s scared of of what I’ll do if she gets too close.
“I’d never hurt you!” I snap.
Her eyes go wide. “I know! I know you’d never. I just don’t want to make this worse. I don’t want to make us worse.”
“Marry me. Say you’ll marry me,” I say without hesitation.
Her eyes nearly pop out of her head. “Wh… wh… what?”
“Marry me. Make it official. Prove you won’t leave me again.”
“I can’t be a mafia wife,” she whispers, chin falling to her chest like it’s too much for her to carry. “I’m sorry. I can’t. I can’t marry into such direct crime.”
I glance up at her. She’s crying. Her tears drip onto the hardwood floor. I can hear them even though she’s averting her face.
She wants to say yes. I understand her perspective, too. I think on this. I’ve thought on this. This plan. This commitment. It’s not a game. It’s what all my games have prepared me for.
I place my finger under her chin and gently tip her chin forward.
“What if I leave?”
Boss
I can feel her looking at me from across the room as she mindlessly stuffs toast in her mouth. Cut talked to her. She’s eating normally again. Thank God. I hate seeing her looking physically weak. It’s so at odds with who I know her to be.
“Just say it, little dove. I can’t read your mind.”
“Dove, dove, dove,” my angel sings, dancing around the kitchen. She’s in a phase where she picks one word from what people say and copies it, repeating it over and over again. I’ve never felt so much pressure to watch what the hell I say, but I’m glad to see her talking.
Finding her voice.
Lacey giggles. “Yes, princess, that’s what Daddy calls me.”
Rose giggles back, although I doubt she understands what Lacey said.
Her arms fly up. “Up, up.”
The words come out sounding more like “uh, uh”, but Lacey knows what she means. She reaches down and gingerly scoops her up, placing her on her hip as she bounces her knee up and down.
“Did you take protection off Jamie? I talked to him the other day. He doesn’t seem to know he was being watched and I want to make sure it stays that way. His life has to be normal.”
I nod. “The men are already back.”
Lacey breathes a heavy sigh of relief and slouches back in her chair. “Thank you.”
Rose screams, making Lacey shoot back up and frantically bounce her knees again. Quiet hums fill the room after that.
“So I was thinking…”
“Uh oh,” I groan, teasing. “That’s never good.”
Lacey gives me a small smile.
“Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh,” Rose sings, dancing around on Lacey’s hip. I love her to death, but that’s going to get annoying. Lacey doesn’t seem to agree, because she smiles more broadly and strokes Rose’s hair back affectionately.
“We should have a dinner,” Lacey says so quietly that I have to lean forward to hear her. “I’ll handle everything. I promise. But I want to have one. I’ll invite Kev, Lea, obviously Rose and Sven, but also Nix and Sage, if she wants to come. Cut and Maria, also. Everyone who’s helped us in some way. People we are connected to.”
Doesn’t sound like Lacey. I frown. “Why?”
She shrugs. “We owe them a thank you.”
Yeah, right. “I’ll repeat,” I cross my arms over my chest, and my Rolex glistens in the sun shining in through the window. “Why?”
“Remember my confession?”
She doesn’t have to elaborate. She knows I do. She knows I remember the day she told me that sleeping might be better than the life she’s living.
“Well, maybe this dinner will help me remember.”
Our little angel is looking back and forth between the two of us with her eyebrows furrowed. I want to smooth out her frown lines, but it has to wait.
“Remember what, little dove?” I say softly.
“Dove, dove, dove,” Rose’s voice rings in the background.
“That…” Lacey glances up at me from under her eyelashes. “I’m not alone. That it’s all in my mind.”
Lacey grabs her hair tightly to emphasize her point.
“It’s just in my mind,” she says more softly this time.
I suddenly wish Rose wasn’t here so I could grab her, kiss her, love her, but I have to settle for words.
“You aren’t alone, Lacey. A lot of people love you.”
“Right, well, um...” She’s clearly trying not to cry for Rose’s sake. “So I thought this dinner could bring us all together. Replace the bad stuff. I think we’re all a little messed up from what happened, except for you, maybe”
She’s right. I’m not “messed up” from it, as she puts it. It really sucks about Gioele, but he was old. He knew his fate. So did his wife. Same with his kids. He’d never have won a father of the year award, but he loved his family and set them up for life. I’m also happy to have Enzio under me now, working with Frances. They’re a good pair, very yin and yang, and I unequivocally trust Enzio, unlike Frances.
The last threat to Lacey’s safety was eliminated that night. Overall, it was a win. Lacey doesn’t see it that way. It’s really helped her that I kept my promise about Miguel. He has a nice home at a local prison. A lifelong spot there. I roughed him up pretty good, but the legal system handled the rest.
I hated it.
That was the worst part about the whole thing.
But the relief it gave Lacey made it worth it. She calmed down a bit after that. So he lives. Until he screws up, and then I’ll discreetly send a man down there to handle him. There’s a reason I kept him close. Keep your friends close, enemies closer.
“Then set it up, babe. Invite who you want over. Do what you need.”
“Really?”
She looks up at me with eager eyes. My body softens. “Yes, babe.”
She gently places Rose back down on the ground and walks over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Thank you,” she whispers into my ear.
“Of course.” I squeeze her hip and pull away. “I have some work to do. Have fun today.”
She brightens. “I will.”
Lacey took the whole day off to spend with Rose. I mean, she canceled literally everything: no boxing, no working, no nothing. Just her, our baby, my credit card, my driver, and an unlimited budget. Fun. I’m glad they are doing it. I asked her to take pictures. I have a feeling the photos will be ones I’ll want to keep for the rest of my life.
“Aright.” I scoop Rose up and pinch her nose. She scrunches up and swats my hand away, just like her mommy does.
“Dada!”
I laugh and tap her cheek before moving my hand off to the side. “Have fun with Mommy today.”
“Dove,” she giggles.
Lacey and I laugh, too.
“You silly girl,” I say, smiling from ear to ear as I set her down.
“Go work. I’ll see you later,” Lacey says with a blush tingeing her cheeks.
What is she thinking?
“We need to talk, Boss.”
“Okay, so talk, Sven.” I roll my eyes. What’s with the tip-toeing?
“Boss,” Sven sighs. It’s a deep sigh. A man getting ready to stir shit he’s not ready to stir. In fact, the tone of his voice has me whirling around. I assess him. His posture is all business. That cocky, sure look is back. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up. This is what he looked when he was planning my demise. He’d better not…
“Let’s go to the main room,” I grumble. “Grab rum if you need it.”
/>
He lets out a low laugh, but there’s another emotion I can’t place behind it. Several minutes later, we are in the room, Sven bottle-free.
“What is it?” I cross my arms and look over at him, already done with this conversation.
“Boss, I’m out.”
I freeze. “What?”
“I need an out. I know that doesn’t happen. I know I’m liable to get a bullet straight to the dick right now.”
“Damn right.”
“But you won’t do that.”
“You’re awfully arrogant,” I snarl, both of us noting I haven’t even reached for my gun yet.
“I need Rose. And she needs not to be involved in this life. So I want out.”
I’m pretty sure my jaw has hit my chest.
“You’re insane. You love this life. I mean, fuck, Sven, you tried to be me.”
“I did,” he smiles sadly. “Sometimes the most broken people are the ones putting up the biggest front, Boss.”
“Fuck, Sven. Fuck! What am I supposed to do about this, huh? If I let you walk out this door, so many others will follow. Fear keeps everything in line. I’m not having a fucking revolution on my hands because of you. I view you as a friend, but we aren’t that close.”
“I have ideas.”
“Of course you do.” I step up on the top step and look down at him. “Go ahead. Please do share.”
He smirks. “Boss, I never said not to hurt me. I just need to survive it. For Rose’s sake.”
I smirk and pull out my gun. “I’m ready when you are.”
“Let’s play.”
“I hope Enzio’s ready for another promotion. I’ll miss having you as my right hand, Sven.”
I text the doctor and tell him to meet us here. This is happening so fast, but we are both reckless, fast, and know exactly what we want. His decision was made wholeheartedly, and I know that, so there’s no room for dilly dallying. Sven needs to grow, and I guess that can no longer happen here. He’s lucky Rose and Lacey share a bond, because it gave us one. That’s why he lives when no one else would. I can’t kill him.
But I do know where to shoot a bullet so there’s no lasting damage. I aim and smirk at Sven. He smirks back. So many games…
BANG!
He crumples to the floor. I stroll over and lean over his bloody body.
“You can call me Adam now.” He grunts. “Doc will be here soon. You know the play. We don’t need to break it down. Cause problems for me, and I really will kill you, fuck the consequences.”
Sven will be a okay. My aim wasn’t off. I didn’t shoot to kill.
Once I’ve said my piece, I stalk out of there. I need to think. Sven’s my right-hand man. So much to do. It never ends. When does Lacey get back? I groan. Time to handle this. Now.
Where’s Enzio?
The rest of the afternoon is spent dealing with Sven leaving. It’s so shocking. Every man is surprised. My men know he’s been shot. They don’t know he’ll survive it. The natural assumption is that he’s been killed, and he won’t be showing his face around here for a hell of a long time, so no one will be finding out otherwise.
There’s enough blood on the floor of the fucking main room for plenty of my men to see and confirm the violence.
They’ll just never see the body.
Lacey ends up getting home around three o’clock with Rose. They both look exhausted. Rose is clutching a bright pink teddy bear with black paint all over it. My lips purse. It’s hideous.
“Why’s it painted?”
Lacey shrugs. Rose clutches the thing tighter with a big smile.
“I don’t know. I like it. There was a black one too, but she wanted the pink one. So I bought it for her. Then later, we went to this DIY craft store and she painted it black. So that’s our kid.”
I shake my head. “Well, at least we know she’s yours.”
“Yeah, and yours! Are you kidding me right now?”
I chuckle and walk over to her. I peel her hands open so she drops the multitude of bags she’s holding. I’ve seen her shop once since I’ve known her, and I forced her to do it. Now here she stands with bags of shit. I’m a little confused. Not complaining at all, just confused. What’d she buy? What could Lacey want that would warrant all these bags?
“You look tired,” I whisper in her ear.
She nods and slumps against me. I start to massage her shoulders, while Rose prances around whispering to her teddy bear.
Lacey moans. “That feels really good.”
She shivers and it goes straight to my cock. I throw my hands off of her.
“Okay,” I laugh, as does she. “Let’s put away all your sh… stuff.”
I raise my eyebrows and give her bags a pointed look.
“Yeah,” Lacey runs her hands over her head, “I kind of went shopping.”
“I see that.”
“Are you mad? I spent a lot of money. More than I intended.”
A laugh bursts out of me. “Glad to hear it. ‘Surprised’ more accurately describes how I feel.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Out of curiosity, what did you buy?”
“Just some stuff.”
I cock an eyebrow and gesture for her to continue.
“Some stuff for boxing, and um...” Her cheeks burn red. “Some clothes.”
She looks away from me. Curious, I pick up one of the bags and pull a strip of fabric from it.
It’s a dress. A cream dress with quarter length sleeves and a light lace material on top. I stare back and forth between Lacey and the dress.
“Who’s this for?”
Lacey hunches over, wringing her hands together. She quickly reaches out, snatches the dress from my hand, and stuffs it back in the bag. She starts to frantically grab the bags, mumbling to herself.
“This was a bad idea. What was I thinking? Stupid. Stupid.”
“Lacey.”
I grab her hand. She freezes with the bags in mid air.
“Stop,” I repeat softly.
She glances up at me, and hisses out a breath between her teeth, realizing she was spiraling.
I let go and raise my hands in surrender. “We won’t discuss the pretty dresses you just bought.”
She lets out a strained laugh. “Thank you.”
I send her a reassuring smile and clap my hands together.
“I want to see the pictures.”
Our little angel spins around, understanding my words, even if she can’t say them. She jumps up and down by Lacey, reaching for her phone.
“Mama! Mama!” she squeals with her little ‘gimme’ hands.
We all take a seat on the floor, leaning against the wall. Lacey whips out her phone and one by one shows pictures of my two favorite people in the world.
Rose with oversized sunglasses covering half of her face, and wild hair shooting all over the place. Lacey smiling softly into the camera, holding Rose tight.
Rose on a merry-go-round, flashing toothy smiles at Lacey.
Lacey trying to take a selfie, and failing in the eyes of the world, but nailing it to me. The awkwardness with this kind of act is just so her.
Rose and Lacey eating ice cream.
Rose and Lacey eating hot dogs.
Bit by bit, the stress of my day slips away and love takes its place.
“I’m getting these printed. I want them in frames all over.”
Both of my girls smile.
“Not my selfie. I’ll fight you.”
I throw my head back and laugh.
“Oh no, that’s going in the foyer.”
“I’m not kidding, Adam! It better not! You will never see the other stuff I bought!”
Well, now she has my attention.
“Oh, and what other things did you buy?”
“You’ll never know if another person lays eyes on that picture.”
I smile at her. “You drive a hard bargain, little one.”
She scrunches her nose at the nickname. “I’ll kick your butt
,” she mutters.
I stand and extend one hand to each of them. As two soft hands wrap around my fingers I can’t help but feel how fucking lucky I am.
Lacey
“What do you mean Sven’s not coming?”
“Lacey,” he grabs my hand. We just took Rose to Mirial. The past few days have been crazy and we haven’t had time to talk. I’ve been spending lots of quality time with Rose and trying repair my relationship with Cut. Adam has been insanely busy. He hasn’t told me why yet. I think this is that moment.
“Sven’s leaving.”
“Leaving?” I blink at him. What is he talking about?
“What I’m about to tell you can’t leave this room.”
“You know I’d never.”
“I know. Sit.”
His tone is harsh. I plop down on the bed and stare at him.
“Sven asked me for an out. An out from this life. This family. His job. Everything. He wants to marry Rose, and she can’t marry into this.”
My jaw falls open and a tightening occurs in my chest cavity.
“What? But he… is that even allowed?”
Adam sighs and runs a hand over his face. “No.”
Immediately, my nerves go haywire. “You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t. Adam.”
Oh god. Please. No.
“I didn’t,” he says with a nod. I sigh with relief and slump back on the bed. “I couldn’t.”
“Thank goodness. So where is he?”
“Him leaving is a big deal, Lacey. You don’t just walk out once you join this life. It’s a blood oath.”
“What does all this mean?”
“It means if I let him walk out of here, I would have a revolution on my hands. A lot of people would try to leave, and others would try to overthrow me, perceiving me as weak.”
“You’re scaring me. Where’s Sven?”
“Well, I shot him. His idea. We staged it so it looks like I put a bullet in his heart, but I didn’t. He’ll survive it. Haven’t thought through all the details yet, but Sven has. We probably should have talked before we got to the bullet-firing, but it was too fun. We’ll work it out at a separate location later.”
“You shot him?!”
“He’s fine. Recovering. I didn’t shoot to kill, Lacey.”
