The Depths of Sorrow

by Eleanor Eden

  I watched his face in the firelight. How smooth – how ageless it was. I admired him, still – but the extremes of love and hate were gone when I found myself close to him again. “We’ve missed you.”

  He watched the fire.

  “What do you think of your daughter?”

  He smiled. “She’s – I could never have imagined -” he shook his head.

  I laughed. “I know.”

  He pressed his lips together.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I feel your other baby, too. He is Fated, pure and strong.”

  I touched my belly. “He’s quiet.”

  “Sorrow makes it so.”

  “I know, but -”

  He looked at me, waiting.

  “He’s strong, yes, but I still feel like it – the pregnancy - is fragile. Almost like it wouldn’t ever have happened without Eve.”

  Jay nodded. “We have no way of knowing.”

  “And when I’m away from her, even right now, though she’s just in her bed -” I looked up at her second-floor window that glowed faintly from her nightlight, “I feel different. Heavier. And sometimes, there’s pain.”

  He eyed me, seemingly considering his words. “You haven’t dreamed yet?”

  I frowned. “No. It’s too early, isn’t it?”

  “His paths are forged. I know that much. You’ll be with them soon.”

  “Wait. You know something. Don’t make me wait if you know, Jay!”

  He held a hand up, then let it drop. He looked tired. “I don’t, Burden. I only know he’s Fated and he’s important. I promise.” He looked at me. “I’m not worried about him.” He shook his head, laughing. “He feels so much like Money.”

  I smiled, looking down at my little bump. I looked up again after a few moments of quiet. “Are you alright?”

  Jay cleared his throat. “Of course. It’s just – these last months have been exhausting.”

  I leaned toward him. “There’s something else.”

  He nodded, pressing his lips together.

  “What is it?”

  He sighed. “I don’t know. I feel different - strange. Odyssey says it’s because I’m approaching my thousandth year, but I don’t think it’s a milestone that’s coming.”

  I made a face. “That’s coming?”

  He looked sideways at me. “I’ve never seen anything like this gathering of darkness. The entity calls it Legion.”

  “That’s – biblical, isn’t it?”

  “It is.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  He looked at me. “Maybe man’s Bible is just an effort to understand – people like to put things in neat little boxes. That way, they’re known. They’re safe.”

  “Oh, good. We’ve started,” Odyssey said, moving closer and sitting on one of the meditation pillows.

  A flash of my first visit to that house popped into my mind; me locked out and desperate to find Money, sitting on one of the pillows and reaching out, looking for him. Trying to find him so I could help him fight his demon.

  I looked at him as he sat opposite me. The fire glowed behind him, making him into a silhouette.

  “Yes, we have much to talk about,” Jay answered, leaning forward in his chair.

  “Let’s start with Garrett,” I suggested, and Jay nodded.

  “He is human, pure and true. His family was a long line of farmers; they owned a huge property in Spain and worked fields of grapes for local wineries for decades. But he has been different since birth – evolved, we think, to fight the dark ones as the Fated Order dwindles.”

  “Do we know he’s the first?” I asked.

  “Or the only?” Money added, and I nodded.

  “We,” Jay glanced toward the sky, “they believe so. The entity speaks about Garrett as though he is an experiment, but an unplanned one.”

  “A test,” Odyssey laughed.

  I shook my head. “A test, but unexpected? Then, who is the administrator – the scientist?”

  Money chuckled.

  “Humankind – the species as a whole? We all evolve according to need, Burden; not necessarily due to plan.”

  I nodded, absorbing his words.

  Money spoke up. “You talk about Garrett’s family and their property in the past tense. What happened?”

  “Now, it is rubble,” Odyssey sighed. “The dark ones must have learned of him, though we don’t understand how; the boy is able to gather, but hasn’t learned to wield energy, yet. He is hardly a threat right now.”

  “But he could be,” Money noted.

  Odyssey nodded. “For whatever reason, they destroyed his family trying to get to him.”

  “Not just his family, but - everything. Their land. All that’s left is sticks and rubble, and field after field of broken vines,” Jay pitched a stick at the fire and it sent up a little shower of sparks as it hit.

  I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat as I struggled to comprehend what the boy had gone through. “How was he spared?”

  Jay and Odyssey shared a look.

  “You protected him?”

  Jay folded his hands between his knees, leaning forward. “We took him away. It was the only option.”

  “Does he know?”

  Jay looked at Money.

  “About his family? The land?”

  “He knows,” Odyssey answered, her voice quiet, but strong.

  “Poor thing,” I said, my voice barely a whisper.

  “We’ve become his family, but you saw for yourself how withdrawn he is.”

  Jay shook his head. “And someday he’ll know enough to blame us for saving him and not his family.”

  “But then – why weren’t the Fated called to help?”

  Jay laughed, but it was humorless. “We have always been protectors rather than predictors; there was no way we could have foreseen the strength of this – Legion.”

  I frowned. “We could have helped.”

  “Yes, but if you had, we may not have Eve with us, or the prospect of the little one who grows within you,” Odyssey spoke quietly, letting me realize the truth in her words without pushing.

  “And if that had come to pass, what would have happened to you?” Jay added, his eyes on Money.

  I fought the threatening shock at the realization that we might not have Money anymore, either.

  Money chuckled, and we all turned to look at him, baffled.

  He threw his hands in the air. “We need to focus on now – and how to go forward. Regardless of what’s already happened, Burden, we’re here. We have to trust that somehow, it’s right. Garrett and Eve, the baby – and the two of you,” he looked at Odyssey and then Jay, and shook his head, grinning. “And you talk about Garrett only in relation to what has already happened. As though he’s unreachable! But he wasn’t like that with Eve.”

  Odyssey and Jay smiled.

  “Our girl changes everything,” I said.

  “It’s true.” Jay leaned back so he could look at me. “Things change. Even the entity is surprised on a regular basis. And Sorrow - she is incredible.”

  “Tell us what you know of her abilities,” Odyssey said.

  I looked at Money’s silhouette. “Come here, Money. I can’t see your face.”

  “Oh! Yours was so beautiful in the firelight, I didn’t even realize,” he laughed as he came to me, and I lowered myself onto the mat by Odyssey. He joined me, taking my hand, and Jay lowered himself to the inner circle, too.

  “Well,” I started, “she heals. We’ve talked about that,” I looked at Jay, and he nodded.

  “But there’s much more,” Money said, excited. “You’ve seen her; she’s nothing like a three-month-old baby!”

  “We took her to a pediatrician for the first time last week,” I said. “We wanted to – I don’t know – be reassured that despite all the differences, she’s healthy.”

  Money squeezed my hand.

  “We told the doctor she was nine months old, and she didn’t bat an eye.
And, though Eve seemed physically on target for a baby at nine months, the doctor said she’s far advanced socially and with her motor skills, fine and large.”

  “I was so proud,” Money laughed.

  “We can’t explain it; you know that,” Jay said.

  “I know,” I replied. “She’s brand new, and all that. It just – it can be scary.”

  “For what it’s worth, she may just be growing to her task,” Odyssey said gently.

  “What?” I frowned.

  “I’ve heard of that!” Money spoke up excitedly. “When a person – like us – and you, too,” he nodded to Odyssey, “has been crucial to some event, they’ve changed to make sure they can face it.”

  Odyssey nodded. “She may halt in her development as soon as she’s completed whatever task she’s growing for.

  I rubbed at my temples. “This is crazy.”

  “I dreamt of the children together,” Jay said quietly.

  “What?” I turned to him. “When? Why didn’t you say?”

  He shook his head. “It wasn’t a dream like that. With them. It was just a dream. But it felt real.”

  “What did you see?” Money asked, turning to Jay, too.

  “I saw them together – Sorrow and your boy – about six or seven years old, and they were the same size. Little almost-twins.”

  “But how could that be?” I asked, my voice rising.

  “We don’t know, Burden,” Jay answered, and again I was stricken at how exhausted he appeared.

  Odyssey cleared her throat. “Garrett is unable to control his abilities, but we believe Sorrow can teach him.”

  “Please call her Eve,” Money said, but gently. “It’s one thing for Journey to use her name as her father, but we don’t think of her as Sorrow. Please understand; it’s been a gift to give her a name that suits her -”

  Odyssey raised her hand with a smile. “It’s OK. I will respect your wishes, of course. I only call her Sorrow because that’s all Journey has called her.” She laughed. “It’s all I’ve known.”

  Money nodded, seemingly satisfied.

  “Tell them,” Jay nodded toward Odyssey.

  The dark energy that’s gathering – it makes itself into one thing; and that is Legion. And it uses the energy of tragedy and loss that saturates Garrett’s land to thrive and grow. We must banish it before it is able to act freely on this plane and do much more damage.” She took a deep breath. “And we know that the demons have always been most easily conquered by their victim – their intended host.”

  “Oh, no,” I muttered. “Garrett?”

  “Yes. We are sure there is no other way to dispel it than to have him confront it, and waiting until he is ready may spell destruction the size of which could be devastating.”

  “Destruction of what?” Money asked. “Of the land? Of his family? Of Garrett? Of Spain?”

  “Of humankind,” Jay cut in, and the revelation silenced us all for a few moments.

  “What can we do?” I asked.

  “We can help,” Money turned to me, the least likely to answer, but as it turned out, the most effective for the delivery. I saw the determination in his features and felt it, too.

  “Yes. We know we must gather and fight, but without more of us, all we can do is dispel it rather than destroy it. So, we’re waiting until we know more.”

  “You have to tell us what that means, Jay,” I said softly.

  “It means we hope for a larger army,” he smiled sadly as he met my eyes.

  I looked around our little circle. Only Money and I could wield. “Do you know other Fated?”

  Odyssey laughed. “This has been our life’s work, both Journey and I, and trust me when I say I’m sitting with as many Fated right now as I’ve found in all my years.”

  “And they are many,” Jay smiled.

  “They are,” Odyssey nodded, serious. She looked at Money, and then me. “I’ve only known two other Fated before you. But I know of more. We are interested in two, specifically.”

  “We’ve been trying to reach them, but they’re well hidden,” Jay added.

  “Who are they?”

  Jay shrugged. “The entity tells us they’re old, and they’re together, and that is all. They’ve hidden from everyone – even the source – like so many other Fated, but the difference is that they were last seen in Spain.”

  I frowned. “And that’s it?”

  Jay and Odyssey shared a sober glance.

  Jay leaned forward. “We know there are more, but either they’re fighting other dark ones or we have not located them for some time,” Jay leaned sideways to pick up another stick, then tossed it toward the fire, but it fell short, this time.

  “But it could be better. We can work with Garrett; make him stronger! Teach him!” Money exclaimed, and my heart fell.

  The help of one damaged human boy would not do the trick.

  Odyssey and Jay’s expressions echoed my thoughts, and Money deflated.

  “So, what can we do?”

  “As with so many things, we wait,” Jay said.

  I put my face in my hands, frustrated.

  Jay chuckled, and I looked at him, incensed. “How can you laugh?”

  He shook his head. “I admire the strength of your rage, Burden. The strength of all that you feel. It is what makes you so powerful.”

  I made a choked sound of frustration, and Money and Odyssey laughed, too.

  “I used to consider myself docile!” I exploded, and that seemed to break their composure entirely.

  I deflated. “Shitheads,” I muttered, sending them into further contortions as they laughed.

  “This is useful,” I said, feeling hopeless rather than humored.

  Jay leaned into me, still giggling. “We mustn’t despair, Burden. We have to trust.” He exhaled loudly, trying to gather himself.

  “I’m not sure how, when so much is at risk,” I said, tears welling in my eyes.

  Money and Odyssey quieted quickly.

  “We have to trust,” Jay repeated. “And wait. All is not in our hands.”

  Chapter 18 – Late Night Revelations

  That night, Money and I lay awake for hours. It was as though neither of us wanted the night to end, for when it did, and we awoke to a new day, it would be with a new perspective.

  And with the knowledge that everything had changed in the course of a conversation.

  “But that’s just it – now we know, so you’d think that would help, right? Help us plan, help us train – but all we’ve been told to do is wait!”

  I laughed. “My thoughts exactly.”

  “So, what are we supposed to do in the meantime? You and I have been practicing, and that’s been really useful, but what else?”

  “We can work with Garrett, and we need to do individual work, too. I’ve noticed some things about my gathering as we’ve worked.”

  “Yeah, me too,” Money muttered.

  I turned to my side, propping my head up with my arm. “What do you mean? With me?”

  Money shook his head, his eyes still on the ceiling.

  “Then what?” I giggled, but something in me wavered. “Is something wrong?”

  He turned to his side to face me, then. “I don’t know. When we gather – it seems so natural for you, but for me, it takes everything I have just to connect to the energy in the first place!”

  I frowned. “Maybe that’s not a problem – maybe that’s normal, and to be honest, it kind of goes with my own concerns.”

  He shook his head. “Before Jonesy died, it was so much easier. I gathered without even thinking.”

  I lowered my head to the pillow.

  “What are your ‘concerns’?” he asked.

  “Well, I’ve noticed I have to limit myself when I work with you. It’s not just that I take in more energy – it’s that when I cast it, I feel myself wanting to gather more and send it out in a stream.”

  “Huh. I’ve never heard of that.”

  I nodded. “It al
most hurts when it blasts out of me; the big ones we gather and cast?”