The Depths of Sorrow

by Eleanor Eden

“I’ll try,” she said with a wry laugh.

  I glanced behind me, finding Money in the kitchen fixing what looked to be sandwiches. “I need to know how old my father was when I was born.”

  “Oh – huh, I guess we never did talk about that, did we?”

  “No, and we need to know now, as -” I paused, realizing too late that I wasn’t sure how the information I was about to share would impact her. “- well, we’ve become aware of another of my kind, in Europe, and we think he goes by, ‘Trouble.’”

  “Oh! Oh, my God. I hadn’t even – I guess I’ve been thinking of him as being permanently gone for so long that I’ve – well, this is a shock.”

  “I know. To me, too.”

  “Well if his age is significant, you should know it. But it’s not exceptional; when we met, he was in his mid-thirties? Thirty-six, I think.”

  I closed my eyes. “So, he’d only be in his early sixties, now.”

  “Yes, that would make sense.”

  “OK.”

  “Does that help?”

  I shook my head. “Only to cast more doubt on this man being him. Apparently, he’s quite a lot older than that.”

  “Oh. Well, I can’t say that doesn’t make me sad. It’s easier to go on thinking of him as I always have, I think – handsome, distant, and gone.”

  “Less complicated.”

  “Exactly.”

  We were quietly pensive for a moment.

  “Do you want me to give you updates on what we learn?”

  After another moment, she answered, “Yes, but I won’t ask for them.”

  “I understand,” I said, but I felt the frown in my forehead. “But – I mean, I know it was hard when he left, but why would you be hesitant to learn he’s still alive?”

  “For you, of course. I’ve always been able to forgive him for never returning - never being a father to you! Because I thought he was gone. If he’s alive, I don’t know how I’d deal with that.”

  I exhaled in a rush. “I guess I never thought of it that way.” I laughed, then. “You’ve done a wonderful job of presenting him only as kind and loving, Mom. Thank you for that.”

  “I hope it was right. He was kind and loving, my girl; but how do I justify that if we’re faced with him being alive and having stayed away all this time?” She made a sound. “I don’t want to consider that unless we have to.”

  “Deal,” I said. “But in the meantime, maybe we can give him the benefit of the doubt – if he’s stayed away, there had to have been a good reason.”

  “Mm-hmm.” She sounded doubtful.

  And at that moment, an odd thing happened; a change in the air around me. I stood, my heart pounding faster. “What -?”

  “Bird? Are you alright?”

  The air just on the other side of the deck railing shimmered unnaturally, and there was a strange sucking sound. I stepped closer, unconsciously, but then backed up, reaching behind me to slide the door open, my eyes still on the spot. “Money!” I called, then remembered the phone against my ear. “Uh – Mom, I have to go, alright? But I’ll call you back soon.”

  The sound intensified, as though a vacuum was getting closer, sucking the air around me.

  “Bird? You’re alright, right?”

  “Yes, Mom. Of course. I love you!” I hung up as Money stepped out beside me.

  “What the hell -?”

  And then the sound changed, and the air, too, like a sudden blast from the midpoint of the now-shuddering space, and then a pop!, and Odyssey burst into existence, her hair whirling and her eyes huge, as though she’d just exited a windstorm.

  “Holy shit!” I cried, pressing even tighter against the glass door. Money’s arm shot protectively in front of me.

  Odyssey met Money’s eyes, and then mine, a triumphant smile growing across her face. Then, she said, “It worked!”

  Chapter 31 – Practice

  “What the ever-loving fu -”

  “Oh, my God!” I stepped toward Odyssey as I interrupted Money, a lightbulb going off in my brain. “It’s what you were talking about – about the horse, and suddenly being at your destination?”

  Odyssey nodded, then stumbled, saying, “Whoa.”

  Money was at her side so fast I’d only perceived him vaulting over the deck rail. “You OK?”

  Odyssey laughed breathlessly. “I’m not used to it; must be sort of how you feel, going so fast.” She straightened with Money’s help and smoothed her pants. “Yeah, what you said about -” she looked at me, gesturing absently, “- you know, the horse…”

  “What is it?” I stepped forward again, remembering the vacuum-feeling just before she’d appeared.

  “The Entity calls it ‘transport,’” she said, using air quotes. “Turns out I’ve evolved, too, and apparently Journey is, but he’s not – there – yet.”

  “Jay can appear out of nowhere, too?” Money’s eyes bulged.

  Odyssey laughed. “No; we’re not exactly sure how he’s changing, yet.”

  “But – wait,” I started, frowning. “Is it my imagination, or is everyone evolving?”

  Odyssey shook her head. “Not everyone; just the few who are destined to balance, and it turns out they weren’t as far off as they thought when they made the Missives,” she smiled smugly. “I was right; we are very much like Fated, and it seems like we’re getting closer as time goes by.”

  “But – what about Garrett? Are there any other humans -?”

  She shook her head again. “So far, Garrett is the one and only. And the Entity has named him, by the way.”

  I rolled my eyes despite myself.

  “They said you’d refuse to use it, and that’s OK,” she smiled.

  “What is it?” Money was still frowning deeply.

  “Greed,” she responded, and both Money and I scoffed.

  “Why always the thing the doesn’t describe us?”

  “I think that is why, Money,” Odyssey looked sideways at him.

  “So, you can just – disappear whenever you want? And reappear where you want to?” I asked, still trying to work out what we’d just witnessed.

  She made a seesaw motion with her hand. “Sort of; but I don’t have time to explain it right now.” She shook her head. “I’m not even sure I get it.”

  “What’s happening? Are we leaving?”

  Odyssey nodded toward Money, and then looked at me. “We have some time before we face it, which is good, but we have to leave today.”

  I rubbed my temples. “How can you contradict yourself in one sentence and look at us as though we should understand?”

  “I’m sorry,” she looked serious. “Let’s go back to the big house; Journey is waiting for us there, and we’ll explain everything. And then we must go.”

  Money and I exchanged a look.

  “The East calls,” Odyssey added, as if it should serve as a comprehensive explanation. She looked to the trees at the side yard, her eyes distant. It reminded me so much of the dream in which she’d told me the same thing that I shuddered.

  Eve’s babbles came muffled through the patio door, which Money hadn’t closed completely.

  Odyssey looked at me. “Do you mind if I bring Money to Journey first, and then come back for Eve?”

  Money stepped back, palms up. “Oh, no, you don’t.”

  “What?” Odyssey frowned at him, almost comically.

  “If you’re taking about – transporting me, or whatever – I’m not interested.”

  Odyssey looked moderately offended, but her eyes twinkled. “OK, so I don’t have it down to a science, yet, but it’s perfectly safe!” She raised her eyebrows in my direction, seemingly looking for support.

  I stifled a giggle. “Is there any chance he’ll get sucked into some space vortex and end up in a vacuum and implode? Because just before you appeared, the air felt really weird.”

  “Implode?” Money looked at me incredulously.

  Odyssey rolled her eyes. “Of course not. Unless I think of that as our d
estination, of course,” she laughed easily, then noticed the look of terror on Money’s face.

  I couldn’t hold back a giggle, that time.

  “I have to be able to feel the location, not just imagine it!” She added defensively. “I have to have been there before.”

  Money looked placated. “I’d still rather drive over with Burden and Eve.”

  “Come on,” Odyssey whined. “I have to practice if I’m going to be able to use this dependably!”

  I covered my mouth, but wondered inwardly if I’d think it was so funny when she asked to practice on me.

  Money looked to me again, but I could only shrug. He frowned at her. “Did the Entity tell you that? That you have to have been there, physically?”

  Odyssey rolled her eyes. “Of course. I’m not going to put you in danger, Money.”

  He shuffled his feet, thinking. “Alright, but it something goes wrong this time, you can bet your ass you won’t be practicing on me again.”

  She jumped and clapped and I laughed again.

  Eve’s voice escalated. “Mommy! Come get me!”

  Money chuckled.

  I glanced over my shoulder toward the loft, then back at Odyssey. “Wait until I’m back; I need to see this!”

  She nodded, then studied Money, frowning.

  I turned to go in as he made a dramatically anxious face.

  When I stepped out again, Eve in my arms, his anxiety appeared to have morphed into impatience.

  “I’m calling this off if we don’t do it now,” he muttered.

  Odyssey was circling him, her brow furrowed in concentration. “I have to sort of step into it, which is easy enough when it’s just me; I’m just working out how to bring you into it, too.”

  “Just do it,” Money folded his arms.

  “Bye, Dada!” Eve giggled in my arms.

  Odyssey shook her head. “Your daughter knows more than she should.”

  I looked at Eve’s cheek, so much leaner than it had been just weeks earlier, having lost some of her baby fat as she’d grown.

  “OK, hold still,” Odyssey muttered. “Here we go!” she stepped toward Money with a fearsome look of determination on her face, then disappeared with a pop and that sucking sound again, leaving Money frowning and deserted.

  Eve clapped her hands, squealing with delight.

  The air beside Money shifted again, and I pointed, looking at Money. “Watch out!”

  Another odd popping noise, and Odyssey was back, stumbling forward as she appeared as though she’d been pushed.

  She caught herself on the deck railing and looked back at Money.

  Money raised one eyebrow, smirking.

  “One more try?” she asked, straightening up and a bit breathless.

  I stepped to the railing. “Maybe walking into him isn’t right. You said you have to step into it?”

  She nodded, brushing a lock of fiery hair off of her face.

  “Maybe step up to him from behind, like you’re going somewhere together.”

  She studied Money again, silently.

  Money sighed. “Maybe I have to step with you?”

  “Yeah! But I think Burden’s right, too. I need to create the space we’re stepping into, so I’ll come up from behind you and put my arm around your back. When you feel that, step forward with me.”

  He nodded, his previous doubt having transformed to something close to determination.

  I held my breath as Odyssey went to stand behind him, and Eve stiffened in my arms.

  “Here we go,” Odyssey whispered, to herself, mostly, and came up behind Money, an arm going around his back.

  Money’s eyes met mine as he took a step, and just before they disappeared with an enormous FWIP! sound, he started to grin.

  That’s something to hold on to if he’s been lost in the vacuum of space, I thought with some humor. And a smidge of panic.

  “Oddy!” Eve cried, pointing to a point past the deck before I could even perceive a change in the air.

  Odyssey popped back into existence with another stumble forward, but caught herself quickly, that time. “Yes!” she exclaimed as I frowned sideways at Eve.

  How had she known?

  “That was awesome!” Odyssey enthused, her cheeks pink with effort and excitement.

  “Money’s OK?”

  She nodded quickly. “He threw up, though.”

  I covered my mouth again.

  Odyssey looked vaguely guilty. “I thought he’d be the best to start with, seeing as how he’s used to travelling at the speeds he does, you know?”

  I nodded, still caught between worry and hysterical laughter.

  Odyssey approached the railing, arms outstretched for Eve.

  Eve bounced in my arms, reaching right back.

  I felt the surprise register on my fact as I tightened my hold on Eve. “What? Oh, no -” I stepped backward, shaking my head.

  “What?” Odyssey looked entirely offended. “You can’t think I’d ever let anything happen to her!” she looked lovingly at Eve. “She’s like a daughter to me, too…or a granddaughter!” she looked at me.

  “Ha! Don’t use that on me, you evil sorceress!” I exclaimed, only half joking.

  “Burden, I promise -”

  “You said it yourself! Money should have been fine, but it made him sick!”

  She scoffed. “It’s not the same as what he does. Besides, he’s got a weak stomach.”

  I thought back to the day he’d eaten questionable ham from Jay’s fridge, with no clue how long it had been there. Despite a tinge of green to his face, he’d weathered stomach pains and cramps without the need to sprint to the bathroom, not even once.

  “He’s got a constitution of steel, Odyssey!”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’ll get better every time!” She smiled at Eve. “And I have the feeling little Miss Evie is going to love it.”

  I paused, looking between Odyssey and Eve, who’s cheeks were red with her efforts to get out of my arms and, doubtless, to Odyssey.

  “If anything goes wrong -” I started, and Odyssey did another jump-clap, which was much less adorable, now.

  I brought Eve to the railing and handed her over, my stomach churning.

  “Don’t worry,” Odyssey said, meeting my eyes.

  I took a step back.

  “Come back as soon as Money has her,” I said, my voice steady despite my fear.

  She nodded, then looked at Eve. “You ready, sweetheart?”

  Eve bounced impatiently. “Go!”

  Odyssey nodded, gave me one last look, and both of them were gone with another sucking sound, this one almost a boom.

  I jumped a little, feeling very much alone as I awaited news of their success.

  Or not.

  Odyssey only took one wild step to the left when she appeared again, her eyes bright and her smile even brighter.

  “Well?” I gripped the railing fiercely.

  She spread her arms, almost cocky. “She’s perfect! She was a champ. In fact -” she frowned, “it was almost like she helped.”

  “And she didn’t get sick?”

  Odyssey averted her eyes.

  “Odyssey!”

  “Only a little!” she raised her eyebrows defensively. “And then she laughed!”

  I folded my arms over my chest, my tummy supporting my arms as much as my swollen breasts cushioned them. “You know I have enough nausea without whipping through some portal through space.”

  Odyssey looked oddly guilty.

  “What?” I frowned, bracing for whatever came.

  “That’s the thing; I can only take one person at a time.”

  I frowned, and then looked down at my bulging belly. “Oh.”

  “But I’ll drive over with you!” she smiled, her eyes hopeful.

  I shook my head. “I’m fine. Should I grab anything before I get in the car? I mean, will we have time before -”

  She pursed her lips, so like Jay did when he was upset that my stomach di
d a turn.

  “What is it?”

  “You’ll have time; we’ll discuss it with Journey when we’re all at the big house.