Hollow Sight

by Kristie Pierce

  He’s still here. Oh, thank heavens.

  Liam stands, calm and collected, watching me from the fence separating the field from the crowd, his elbows propped up and his chin in his steepled fingers. When he notices my frightened state, he nods encouragingly for me to walk forward. I keep my eyes locked on his and Elly exhales in relief as I take a wooden step onto the field. The nerves don’t go away, but somehow keeping my anxious gaze locked with Liam’s crystallized eyes makes the task of breathing easier.

  When I finally manage to reach my spot in the grass, I hear Amber hiss, “It’s about time. Prolonging your moment in the spotlight, are we?” I don’t look away from Liam, but my nerves are slightly altered with annoyance when I hear Amber’s high pitched voice snarking at me. Apparently having her parents in tow doesn’t seem to soften her demeanor any.

  When the announcer is done presenting us, he reveals the name of the king – Chad Dawson, no shocker there – but I think good for him. Out of all the boys nominated, Chad is the most likely to be thankful for it. He’s also the nicest, in my opinion. Then the announcer goes on to the winning queen.

  The crowd grows quiet and Elly grasps my sweaty hand tightly. I close my eyes and try swallowing the large lump in my throat. Here it is, the moment I’ve been dreading for a week. In just a few moments I will be free to take off these ridiculous shoes, walk off this field, and then go try and talk to Liam. In the back of my head I’d wished that I had brought a change of clothes or at least my sneakers. Hell, flip-flops would be better than these five inch monstrosities I’m wearing. An evening spent in a dress and uncomfortable shoes isn’t my idea of fun.

  The announcer prolongs the results to give it a dramatic effect. “And this year's Quinton High School, Homecoming Queen is…”

  Chapter Ten

  He must wait a full minute before he announces the winner – at least that’s what it feels like to me. Good grief, how much longer can this torture be drawn out? Get on with it already!

  “…Breckin Nicolai.”

  Thank, God. Now I can get out of... wait. What?

  My jaw drops open and the breath whooshes out from my lungs. I look over to my mom to make sure that I’ve heard him right. Did he just say that I have been voted homecoming queen? This is not happening. I want to dig a hole and jump inside. No!

  “Breckin Nicolai,” the announcer repeats, when I stand dumbfounded and don’t move.

  The crowd has erupted into deafening applause and I hear a few whistles and throaty hollers from my fellow classmates as I manage to take an unsure and wobbly step forward. An air horn blares in the distance and it causes me to jump.

  “Congratulations, honey!” my mom shrieks while hugging me tightly. Her voice sounds far away.

  “Um, thanks. I think.” My voice breaks at the end.

  With disbelief clear on my face, I make eye contact again with Liam, and can see that he appears almost triumphant. He’s clapping with everyone else and his beautiful face is lit up with a prismatic smile that spreads ear to ear. I can see Claire and Morgan also, and they’re clinging to one another and jumping up and down like overly excited children. They’re next to Liam and despite my horror, I manage to laugh when Morgan taps him on the shoulder to give him an animated high-five.

  Last year’s queen walks over to me – Ashley Sparks, someone ten times more popular in her high school days than I ever will be – and places the sparkly jeweled crown on top of my head. It feels like it weighs fifty pounds as the barrettes pull against my scalp. After pinning the tiara into place, she drapes a sash over my one shoulder and hands me a huge bouquet of red roses. There are at least two dozen of them and they’re bounded together with delicate baby’s breath. I’m surprised at how heavy they are. It looks like I've just won a beauty pageant. This is worse than I thought.

  “Congratulations, Breckin.” Ashley says sweetly.

  “Er, thanks.” I manage.

  I glance toward the crowd and when I take in that people are actually clapping and cheering for me, I allow a very small and unsure smile to sweep across my face. I am then motioned by a member of the homecoming committee to walk toward the center of the field and when I do, a line of flashbulbs blind me. Chad has run out from the locker room, taking his glittery scepter and then stops for a quick picture with me. After it’s taken, we exchange congratulations, he gives me a quick peck on my hair as I wrinkle my nose from the smell coming from his sweaty uniform. He poses for a couple more pictures with me, then darts back into the locker rooms.

  It’s customary for the other candidates to congratulate the winner, and so, when Amber grudgingly comes to shake my hand, she stays true to form when she tells me that it should’ve been her with the crown and not me. She is going to go to the school board and demand a recount. I can’t exactly disagree with her, though – I’m just as flabbergasted as she is. But you know what? Screw her for trying to ruin my moment! I smile - too innocently - and tell her to go for it. Carmen and Mariah lightly shake my hand and only manage an unwilling smile as they mutter their congratulations. The other candidate, Olivia Babcock, gives me a hug and seems genuine with her kind words of best wishes. She’s a nice girl, surely someone that everyone likes. She should’ve been the one to win. I feel slightly ashamed of the way I've been acting when I look at her with her warm, open smile and kind eyes. Olivia probably would at least be enjoying the moment.

  After my short but seemingly long minute in front center stage, we’re all rushed off the field so that the marching band can make their way in and play their musical number. When Elly and I reach the engulfing arms of the crowd, she kisses my forehead and excuses herself for home after congratulating me again. I can tell that she’s happy for me, but all the same, she’s ready to leave. I wish that I could escape with her, but it probably would be bad manners to bolt after winning such an… honor. I can’t think the word without making a face. Sera appears for a short moment as well and voices her enthusiasm toward my newly acquired jewels. I only give her a confused look to acknowledge that I’ve seen her. I still haven’t entirely grasped what’s just happened.

  I’m passed person to person, and everyone seems genuinely thrilled that I’m the one to be elected. Adam goes so far as to tell me that it had been decided no one from the senior class would applaud if Amber had gotten queen. I let out a small giggle. I don’t quite grasp the reason why however because Amber, evil or not, is extremely popular. But it’s sort of nice to know that I’m not the only one who sees how vile she is.

  It takes – for what seems like forever – to pass through everyone that wants to talk to me, touch my crown, smell my flowers, and get their picture taken with me. I think my cheeks are going to crack with pain after I am able to unhinge the permanent smile I’ve forced so much. And I figure it’d be rude to sideswipe or full on ignore everyone who wants to talk to me.

  Finally, finally, I reach the spot where Liam had stood and I refuse to fight the urge that has overtaken me so many times before. I can’t wait to throw my arms around him. But when I get to the very place he was standing just a few moments ago, I find that he is no longer there. My excited face falls with disappointment and I spin in a circle searching for him. The crowd is too vast and there are still people trying to get to me for a quick picture or congratulations. I’m pretty shocked at how many people actually know and want to get their picture taken with me. Benefits of a small town though; everybody knows everybody. After realizing that Liam very well may have left, all I can manage from that point on is half-hearted smiles and small thank you’s when people ecstatically continue to congratulate me.

  “Omigod! You should’ve seen Amber’s face when they announced your name!” Morgan squeals when she reaches me. “I hope someone got it on camera.”

  “It was priceless! It went from expectant to stunned to livid in an instant. It was great.” Claire adds.

  “Sorry I missed it.” I frown.

  “What’s wrong? You should be on cloud nine right now.”
Claire wonders with worried eyes.

  “No kidding. That crown suits you, ya know. Smile.” Morgan encourages.

  I give them the same feeble smile I’ve been giving everyone else after I realize Liam has gone. Of course they see right through it.

  “That’s awful.” Morgan chides.

  I start to look past them into the crowd once more, hoping to see Liam standing somewhere I’ve missed. Both girls turn around to follow my gaze. I don’t see him and my shoulders slump when my attempt to find him fails miserably.

  “Who are you looking for?” Claire asks without turning back to look at me.

  “No one.” I say while shrugging one shoulder.

  “Could’ve fooled me.”

  “Yeah, me, too. You’ve been scanning the crowd pretty much from the time you got away from the field. What gives?” Morgan says as she gives me a puzzled look.

  I bite my lip and then exhale heavily in defeat. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t see… he’s not here.”

  Claire and Morgan both seem to understand at the same time. They each give me an apologetic look while I shrug and nod. I don’t have to say who I’m looking for and for that I am grateful. They understand without me having to voice my worries aloud. A small part of me is still subconscious that if people hear me say Liam’s name, that they may criticize or start rumors. Not that I should care what others think, but I did just break up with Ben not quite an hour ago. And Amber has made a habit out of starting rumors about me in the past just to hurt my feelings. One wrong word and she’d be flying with assumptions. Ha. Again, benefits of a small town. I hold my tongue when I notice her glaring at me.

  “I just saw him,” Claire says quietly. “I saw him standing directly across from you, right next to the two of us. He was still there when they gave you your tiara. Hmm, that’s weird.”

  “Like I said, it doesn’t matter. He’s not here.”

  “Maybe he’s just where we can’t see him.” Morgan is always trying to make a dark moment brighter. “You know, standing back away from all of this commotion. It’s very rowdy up here.”

  “Yeah. He probably wants to congratulate you in private,” Claire says with a mischievous smile.

  “Or maybe he left.” I add sadly.

  “Why would he? Did he see your little moment with Ben?” Claire asks now.

  “I’m not sure.” It all happened so fast. God, I wish that I had been able to find him before we started lining up. But I thought he’d left then.

  The small panic I’d felt before comes swirling back with a vengeance and I realize that maybe Liam thought I was going to Ben to be with Ben. It’s obvious that he hadn’t seen our little moment of demise. He couldn’t have. If he had, then he’s sure to know that I’d broken up with him – that I didn’t go to Ben to be with him. Does he still think that I don’t want to? After all this time and after all of our confessions, does Liam still believe that I will just leave him waiting? Preposterous.

  “You broke up with him, right?” Claire asks.

  “Yep.”

  “So if he did see your little scene, don’t you think he would’ve wanted to talk to you? To see what happened, I mean?”

  “Of course he would!” Morgan says quickly while shooting Claire a look. “You didn’t have to hear your conversation to know that it didn’t end in Ben’s favor. I could tell from where I stood that you’d broken up with him and his little speeding stunt out of the parking lot made it quite obvious. Of course Liam would want to stay and talk to you,” she adds with a supportive smile.

  “Maybe, maybe not. When we arrived back to school after the parade I saw Ben’s car and got out to go talk to him. Maybe I upset him by going to Ben. Maybe he thought that I was excited that Ben was here…”

  As I say the words aloud, they sound even more ridiculous. There is no way that Liam would think that I was leaving him behind to go be with Ben. No. Surely after the conversations he and I have had about the subject, Liam will know that that was not an option. There has to be another explanation as to why he isn’t here now. Liam knows that I’d just been waiting for the right moment to end things with Ben and that I’d wanted to do it in person. I think that it was quite obvious that that was what I was doing. Liam knows my feelings, so it’s evident that there are other motives behind his absence. But I can’t shake the hurt tone I’d thought I’d heard in his voice when I left him.

  Claire answers my muffled excuse. “Nah, I doubt it. Even a complete stranger would’ve been able to see your lack of enthusiasm when it comes to Ben. No one would think that you were happy to see that dumbass. I’m sure we’re just missing him somewhere.”

  “We’ll find him. Let’s just keep looking.” Morgan says as she pulls me ahead into the sea of onlookers.

  The sun has long set and it’s colder now. I wrap my bare arms around myself wishing that I hadn’t left my coat in Liam’s car. After searching for a good twenty minutes, I decide to give up and sit down. My feet ache from the strappy shoes I still wear and my teeth are starting to chatter. Claire and Morgan sit on either side of me and both wrap their arms around me in an effort to make me warm. Neither have a coat they can offer unfortunately, so I am left to make do with the fabric of their sweatshirts draped over my chilled skin.

  The clock ticks down toward the end of the fourth quarter and our team is down by six points. We have possession of the ball and everyone now stands rim rod straight as they watch anxiously for our team to score. After a quick call from the coach, Chad heroically takes the ball into the end zone to tie up the points and the crowd erupts with glee and air horns blare into the sky. All that is left now is for our team to kick a field goal to win the game. I have to admit, even though I’m not at all into the sport – or homecoming – the night has overall turned out to be incredibly exhilarating. Even though the one I most want to share it with isn’t by my side, I’m trying to make the best of it.

  The crowd starts to pound their feet on the bleachers as everyone continues to shout and yell and screech. The cheerleaders are doing a very good job of getting all who are there to participate in every synchronized cheer they clap their hands to. The girls artfully throw each other into the air and back flip down the track. The band pounds their big drums, continuing to pump up the crowd. The bleachers are now rocking beneath us as everyone has joined in on the foot thumping.

  I stand with everyone and hold my breath while Wyatt lines up to kick the ball. Claire, Morgan, and I are holding hands tightly with wide eyes. I see Axel has been sent out into the lineup. Oh, will he get the ball? I can barely contain my excitement for my baby brother. Will he make the heroic play? Wait, he’s a receiver. Are they going to go for the two-point conversion? Yikes! The clock only has enough time left for them to call one play. The players line up, hike the ball, the quarterback fakes a pass to Axel while Wyatt kicks the crap out of it, and the football easily sails over the goal post as the clock counts down to zero.

  The already wound up audience bursts into cheers and applause. Claire and Morgan are jumping up and down on either side of me knocking me around awkwardly with the arms they have kept wrapped around me. They scream with enthusiasm and I laugh at how much animation lights behind their eyes. It’s very exciting after all. Quinton hasn’t beaten the town of Glass in almost a decade.

  The enraptured team rushes the field and I watch with a keenness as I see just how excited and elated they are. The crowd remains just as pumped. The cheering and hollering and blaring of horns lasts until well after the play clock has counted down ending the game. Everyone stays to witness the exchanging of the insignificant bauble the two schools fight over every year. I still can’t tell what it is, but from where I sit, it looks like some sort of small metal object. A horse shoe? It appears to be mounted on a plaque. Each member of the varsity team takes turns touching the ornament and my heart swells when Axel takes his turn. When they’re finished, they all begin grunting and hitting one another like cave men. Chad and a couple of other team memb
ers classically dump the cooler of Gatorade onto Coach Willowman’s head.

  The crowd finally begins to dissipate after the small ceremony and most of the students head to the gym where the homecoming dance will be taking place. I don’t really want to go, but again, I figure it would be rude if the homecoming queen – ugh – doesn’t go to the dance that has been designed to honor the evening. Claire and Morgan both examine my face while I contemplate.

  “Oh no, don’t even think about it. You have to go, you’re the Homecoming Queen,” Morgan says while wrapping her arm tighter around me.

  “Yep. Besides, I drove you. And I’ll hurt anyone that offers you a ride.” Claire adds while trying to look stern. I raise an eyebrow at her and she slices her index finger across her throat.

  “I suppose you’re right. Bah humbug.” I sigh.

  “Hey, Ebenezer, that’s only to be said at Christmas.” Morgan teases.

  And just like that, Liam overhauls my thoughts – his birthday is Christmas day. My mind now swirls with the memory of our night time swim and the inside of my thigh tingles with the memory of his hand wrapping seductively around my skin. Will there be anything ever again that won’t remind me of him? My body becomes hunched with sadness. The answer is a very obvious, no.

  “What’s the face for?” Morgan murmurs sympathetically.

  As she asks, I haven’t registered what my face must look like to each of them. Apparently my grief isn’t being well hidden. I attempt to compose myself and then struggle with fixing my frown into a convincing smile. I hope it works. I am royalty now and need to act just so. I stifle a humorless giggle. Royalty. Pfft!

  “If you’re going to be center stage at the dance, you’d better be more believable than that!” Claire glares as she starts dragging me toward the school.

  “What?” I ask, horrified.

  Claire shakes her head almost in disgust and snorts. She isn’t at all impressed with my less than enthusiastic attitude toward tonight’s festivities, but she’s usually more laid back about it. It’s obvious that she thinks that I should know what now to expect in the lineup of activities, but I don’t. I thought the charade was over.