Berserk

by K. S. Adkins

  “Thanks, Bishop.”

  “I don’t think you get it,” he says. “I still ain’t givin’ up, just gotta plan better now. Ain’t losing you to a club-owning civvie who bails on his wife. All these years you been married? To him? He’s why you don’t smile? Jesus.”

  When he turns and walks back in the house I just stand there with my mouth open thinking, oh fucking shit. I didn’t see that coming, especially considering I thought Bishop was gay.

  And I do too smile, dammit!

  “I have to leave for a while Max,” he says, taking a seat in my office. “I won’t tell you why, but it’s something I have to do.”

  “Too much shit is going on for you to leave now, Tony,” I argue. “All this shit with Macy, and now Jules is back; don’t do this to me, not now.”

  “I’m sorry,” he says. “I have to.”

  “You made sure Venessa was good, but fuck the rest of us. Is that it?”

  “This isn’t about Venessa or anyone else,” he growls. “There’s someone I have to meet; she’s important to our end game. While I’m gone you make sure Venessa doesn’t look for me, and that you don’t either.”

  “Fuck you, Gallo,” I yell. “Fuck you and your games.”

  “You’ll see,” he says, walking toward the door. “In the end, you’ll understand.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I kept my promise,” he says. “I watched her for you, I did what you asked because you are my friend. I’m asking you to trust me and give me the space that I need to do this.”

  “How long?”

  “As long as it takes.”

  When he closes the door behind him I realized he just hung me out to dry. He’s the only one who knows Jules’ habits and where to find her. Hell, it’s fair to say he knows more about her than I do. And he fucking bailed.

  Lush has four bouncers on staff, I boxed a bit in high school, and I’m pretty sure Tony could have a sniper take him or a bus run him over. Then my fists clench and I decide fuck that, I’ll tear him apart myself. When the fuckwad strolls back in he gets in my space, sizing me up. Very few people have ever done that, due to my size alone. Jules never had a problem with it; apparently, neither does he.

  “Where am I bunkin?” he asks, grabbing his bag and jacket.

  “Upstairs, third door on your left.”

  “Where’s Red stayin’?”

  “With me.”

  “You pissed, my man?” he asks, approaching me. Fuck yeah, I’m pissed. “Cuz I’ve had your wife all these years?”

  “Back up,” I growl, getting in his face. “Stay the fuck away from her.”

  “No can do, Max,” he smiles, brushing my shoulder off. “She’s the boss. It’s my job to stay close, real fuckin’ close. When she needs me I’m there, always.”

  “Don’t push me when it comes to her, motherfucker.”

  “Push you?” he laughs. “Who the fuck are you? I don’t know you. Never heard of you. Got no time for you, neither. She tells me we gotta job, then we gotta job. Husband or not, when she goes you stay, I know that much. I just gotta tolerate you for a time. Boss wants to save the, day it’s cool by me, don’t care what happens to you; as long as she’s safe and with me, it’s all good.”

  Grabbing him by the neck, I surprise myself when I throw him into the brick wall next to the steps. All the while he’s fucking smiling at me. I’m pretty sure he could kill me with two fingers and a paperclip, but that’s my wife he’s talking about and…

  “Enough,” she says in that voice, so I let him go, pushing myself away from him. “Bishop, that’s a warning.”

  “That right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Okay, Boss, okay.” Then he laughs while he jogs up the steps.

  “Max,” she says. “Take a walk with me.”

  “Now’s not a good time,” I tell her, trying to calm myself.

  “Max,” she says again. “Please.”

  Fuck, I can’t say no to her when she says please. Jules saying please is my kryptonite. Grabbing my jacket and hers we take off out the back door and hit the streets. We made it about a block when she sits on a bench; following her lead, I sit next to her. She doesn’t touch me, I don’t touch her. She brings her knees up to her chin, looks down the road, then looks up at me. Just like that I’m lost for her again.

  “I met Bishop in basic,” she starts quietly. “Street kid like me, chip on his shoulder like me, no family like me. We were attached at the hip. Where I fell short on some the physical stuff he helped me, and I helped him with the book stuff. Every step taken we took together. I’m not telling you this to make you jealous; I’m telling you so you get it. Bishop was by my side when no one else was. I didn’t tell him about you because you were mine alone. I don’t even know if that makes sense, but it’s true. I just wanted you for myself. When he got back, I told him I wanted out, and that there were openings in DC, so he came with me. We’re a good team, Max. I just needed you to know that it’s been me and him a long time, and that this is going to be rough and I need to know if you can handle it. Bishop is a lot of things and easy isn’t one of them.”

  I had to keep quiet while before answered her honestly. “For you I’ll handle anything, Blue.” When she lets out a deep breath I pull her closer to me. “You’ve never—”

  “Never,” she whispers. “I told you that; not with him, not with anyone. I have no reason to lie, Max.”

  “Because you love me?”

  “We should head back,” she says quietly, but then again everything about her is usually quiet. “We need to get you prepared.”

  “Prepared for what?”

  Looking me deep in the eyes without even blinking she whispers, “War.” And my blood pressure goes up again.

  “I can’t believe we got arrested again,” Venessa mumbles. “I’m the good one in this posse. If my Dad finds out, I’m grounded.”

  “Parents ground you because they love you,” says Lina, sitting on the floor.

  “How would you know?” Venessa fires back. “Your parents are assholes.”

  “True,” she says, laughing. “That’s why I said they if they loved you they’d do it. Obviously I’ve never been grounded in my life.”

  “I was the pillar of society until I met you three,” she says. “You’ve corrupted me.”

  “Whatever,” says Macy, moving her over. “You didn’t listen when I explained what a Molotov cocktail does. When you light it, it goes boom.”

  “Maybe not,” I offer. “But I remember you telling her to hurry up and throw it.”

  “I didn’t think she’d throw it at a car!”

  “I’m so fucked,” she groans, putting her head between her legs.

  “It’s my turn to take the heat,” says Lina. “It’s the least I can do after that explosion. That was fucking awesome!”

  The thing about Lina was every time we get into trouble, she takes the heat. If I thought my rap sheet was impressive, it doesn’t hold a candle—or in this case a Molotov cocktail—to hers. Lina may be the youngest in the group, the smallest in the group, but she protects all of us.

  Lina is larger than life like that. But over the years Lina changed and it wasn’t for the better. Lina was lost.

  While Max is working in his home office and Bishop is catching some sleep, I leave a voicemail with both Venessa and Macy checking in. My last call is to Lina, my best friend. The one who knows everything, the one who knows when you’re lying, and the one who tells you when everyone else is, too. No bullshit, Lina is an anomaly; she’s literally a human lie detector. For her it’s a curse she’s used to make a living, but it comes with a cost. She’s never been able to get close to anyone because of it. As friends we’re as close as we can be due to the circumstances, and she gets me like no one else. One thing about her though, she’s hysterical. I’ve never met anyone as funny as her, and I’ve tried talking to Rafe.

  “Make it quick,” she says. “I’m working.”

  “I
’m home.”

  “Balls.”

  “Yeah,” I tell her. “I’m staying with Max.”

  “He know what you’re up to?”

  “No.”

  “You plan on telling him?”

  “No.”

  “Red,” she cautions, catching my lie. “Don’t fucking do it; you’ll lose everything.”

  “I need you to look into something for me.”

  “Name it.”

  So I spell it out, Hank Allen, Max, Tony, and every lead she can find on good cops gone bad in the DPD. I also tell her to proceed with caution when it comes to Venessa and Macy; keeping them safe and in the dark is a priority. If either of them knows too much, they’ll get ideas. When those two get ideas bad things happen, and I don’t need the extra headache right now. When she’s quiet I close my eyes, wondering if she’ll shut me down. Then she takes a deep breath and gives it to me.

  “I’ll see what I can do,” she says. “But seeing as you sound almost human, I’m going to assume you nailed him. How was it? Like old times? His balls saggy yet? Any blue pills lying around? If so, are they as awesome as I hear? Does his erection last more than four to six hours? Don’t leave anything out, I mean it.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Lina,” I groan. “He doesn’t need Viagra!”

  “Yet,” she cautions. “He’s almost forty, Red; he’s fighting nature at this point.”

  “He’s firing on all cylinders without additives, happy?”

  “Are we talking about cars or cocks? I’m confused.”

  “And I’m bored,” I growl. “Get to work, I’m not paying you to talk shop.”

  “You aren’t paying me at all, your highness,” she snaps. “How did we get on the subject of cars anyway? Oh I know, Max thrusting into you like a piston and your engine was—”

  “You are so lucky I hate you.”

  “I hate you too,” she says. “Glad to be back?”

  “I’ll let you know when I can sit down without wincing again.”

  “The old dog’s still got it, huh?”

  “He’s not old, and he’s never lost it,” I say. “Gotta go.”

  “Yeah me too,” she says, laughing. “I love dirty talk with you. Ever try sexting?”

  “No.”

  “You want to?”

  Disconnecting the phone and letting out my own breath, I close my eyes and reflect. I am so fucking fucked where Max is concerned. I shouldn’t tell him anything, but I want to tell him everything. I need to put walls up, but he’s too strong for me to keep him out. I want to run, and I want him to chase me. More than anything I want to keep him safe, and the way things are going, I’m not sold on the idea that I can.

  Heading into the kitchen I see him and Bishop both staring each other down. Under different circumstances I’d pull up a chair and a box of popcorn and watch the show, but there’s work to be done. Max is like a Great Dane; he’s this huge, uncoordinated beast who thinks he’s a gentle lap dog. He has no idea how intimidating he can be or how to use his size to his advantage. I need him to tap into his darker side and defend himself. Then again, I’m basically a shih tzu who thinks she’s a fucking Bullmastiff, so we both have our issues. Bottom line, he’s got size and strength, and he needs to learn how to use it. Smiling to myself, I may enjoy the show after all, especially if I can get them both shirtless.

  “Bishop,” I order. “Take Max outside for hand to hand.”

  “Roger that, Boss,” he says, then looks at Max. “Lose the shirt and shoes and meet me out back.”

  “Where are you going to be?”

  “Observing,” I tell him. “Do as he says; we’re running outta daylight.”

  Both men exit the back door into the yard. Bishop loses his shirt and shoes, cracks his neck and knuckles while Max takes his own shirt off, folds it and places it on the picnic table. Then taking his time he removes each shoe. Another thing about Max? He’s never in a hurry. Fighting back a chuckle, Bishop loses his patience. “Today Mr. Rogers,” he grunts.

  As soon as Max is within reaching distance, Bishop gets ahold of him. Son of a bitch I almost forgot how fast he was. Max tries to deflect but can’t, not even a little bit. Bishop has years of real life training, Max does not. They break apart and go at it again and again. Now I’m losing my patience because Bishop isn’t teaching him anything, he’s whooping his ass on purpose. He wants Max to hurt, he’s doing this for me and I don’t like it. When they break apart and Max is struggling to stay standing, I decide enough is enough.

  “Bishop,” I order. “Take a break.”

  When he passes me I grab his arm, turning him toward me. “You think this shit’s funny? Don’t move, asshole, you’re next.” Swallowing hard he nods taking a seat. Approaching Max I can see he’s pissed, embarrassed, and probably in pain.

  “Fucker’s fast,” he tells me. “Mean, too.”

  “That’s his job,” I tell him, looking at his hands. “Your job is to learn as much as you can, okay?” When he nods, I continue. “This stuff takes years to learn; it’s what we do. I know it’s frustrating, but we’ll keep at it, all right?” When he nods again I can see Bishop smirking and Max wanting to rip his throat out. Deciding to teach Bishop a lesson and avenge my husband, I tell Max “You did good, take five.” Then looking at Bishop. “Get up, dickhead, it’s your turn.”

  When the smile leaves Bishop’s face, my own smile fills mine. Max looks confused, but he’ll get it in a minute. Because Bishop may be good, but I’m better. I fucking should be; when it comes to close quarters, I taught him everything he knows.

  “Why are you crying, Blue?”

  “I don’t want to say goodbye,” she hiccups. “I already miss you, and you haven’t even left yet.”

  “Two weeks,” I tell her. “We can do two weeks; say it.”

  “We can do two weeks.”

  “Good, now stop crying and see me off.”

  Getting my ass kicked in front of my wife wasn’t a high point. I’m bigger than Bishop, but that motherfucker can fight. Plus, he’s probably ten years younger than I am, so he’s got youth on his side as well. Jesus. If I can get out of bed tomorrow, it will be a fucking miracle. She said he was a street kid, and she wasn’t kidding. My god, and here I thought I knew shit. Turns out I don’t know shit, and that sucks.

  When Bishop and I trade places I notice he isn’t smiling anymore. Once I sit down and look up I can see why; it’s because my wife looks furious. She crooks her finger at him and he pauses. Swear to god if he hurts her I’ll club him with a ball bat, seeing as it’s the only thing that would slow the guy down.

  In a blink he charges her, I mean fucking charges her. Jumping up to attack him and defend her, but then I stop in place because the next few seconds, minutes, or maybe hours go by in a blur. All I can see are hands, feet, kicks, punches, red hair, blue eyes, and then a tiny arm that twists his bigger arm up behind his back before she kicks him in the ass, sending him forward.

  Righting himself he goes at her again, only this time she meets him half way, blocks, kicks, whirls, and then when he tries for her again punches him right in the fucking jaw. Bishop staggers back; Blue charges forward, taking him to the ground where she proceeds to beat the holy hell out of him. She’s attacking his face, stomach, sides, and now she’s raining blows down on his sternum.

  I’m no genius but whatever is happening is personal. Jules is pissed off. When she picks up speed I realize she has no plans of stopping either. Running over I pull her off of him, and she’s barely breathing hard. She looks up at me, then down at him whispers “Never again,” and walks away. Offering him a hand up, he surprises me by taking it. He wipes the blood off his face with his shirt, then grabs one of the waters she left out. Not knowing what else to do I sit next to him; I knew my wife had training, but I had no fucking idea what that was.

  “Ever serve?”

  “Drinks? Yeah. Time? No.”

  “Military, Max.”

  “No, I didn’t serve there, eit
her.”

  “It shows.”

  “I’m not much of a fighter.”

  “Fighting you can learn,” he says. “I always wondered who had a hold on her. Who she waited for.”

  “I can’t do this bonding shit with you.”

  “Don’t need to,” he says. “I can see it for myself. If she wasn’t here to save you, I’d make sure you didn’t get back up. I owe you that pain cuz god knows you caused her enough of it. Red doesn’t lose her cool, ever. She didn’t like me fuckin’ with you, that’s for damn sure. A civvie, for fucks sake.”

  “I don’t know what to say about that,” I admit. “I don’t know her like I thought I did.”

  “Naw,” he says. “She’s still the same scrapper you know, she’s just seen some shit now, mellowed out some. Now she’s worried about you, which I admit I don’t like seeing. We’ve been in some serious situations, and she never so much as flinched before. I lay my hands on you and she wouldn’t have stopped until I tapped out or you stopped her. Thanks for the save, by the way.”

  “She did that for me?”

  “The fact that you don’t get it pisses me off,” he says standing up. “All these years to find it’s you she’s busted up about? A fucking waste, man.”

  “I love her,” I say, standing up myself. “Fuck you, you don’t need to get it.”

  “When you fuck her over again, which let’s be real, you will,” he says, laughing, “I will be getting it, the fucking second it ain’t yours no more.”

  “Stay the fuck out of my marriage,” I threaten. “I won’t tell you again. She’s your boss, fine. Outside of that, you’re nothing to her.”

  “I’ve been everything to her since the day I met her,” he sneers at me. “You, you ain’t got no marriage, my friend. What man leaves his wife behind? She were my wife, I’d sell my fucking soul to follow her. Bro, she ain’t even my wife, and I follow her without question because she’s Jules, she’s the boss. All these years she waits, for this? She comes back here to you, and this is the best she gets? You don’t see her. I protect her with my life, all you protect her with is distance.” He says walking into my house, but when he turns back and smiles and says, “Thanks for that by the way.” Then he winks and I fucking go berserk.