Berserk

by K. S. Adkins

  Stretching out with my hands under my head I hear his footsteps, and here we go again. He didn’t arrest some citizen off the street; if he honestly believes that I’m buying any of this he seriously needs to retire. I haven’t been bonded out, no hearing, nada, zip. That means he needs me here, he needs info, and he’s bluffing. Now I have no doubts he’d gladly send me to prison. If the charge stuck that could very well be the case, but personally I think he’d rather pick my brain, let me out on a technicality, and then keep an eye on me. Well that’s what I would do in his position.

  “Afternoon, Jules,” he says, unlocking my cell. Stepping in he leans against the wall, sipping on a cup of coffee. I’d give him just about anything for a sip of that shit. Okay, anything except what he wants, that is.

  “̓Sup, Cap,” I say, crossing my ankles. “I see you aren’t dead yet, lucky me.”

  “Are you done playing games with me yet, Jules?”

  “Are you?”

  “If you think a prison sentence is my idea of playing games, you don’t know me very well. You shot one of my men in broad daylight; I want to know why. You show up here raising hell, basically giving me the big fuck you; I want to know why. You’ll tell me why, or I’ll make sure the last thing you see is your teary-eyed husband when they take you away in shackles. Don’t fuck with me, little girl.”

  Sitting up and crossing my legs Indian-style, I decide to play along a bit. Mostly, though, I plan to piss him off so he’ll tip his hand, and he will.

  “If you think that years of training and living across country took the street out of me, you don’t know me very well. Here’s what I do know, about four years ago I started hearing things, so I kept my ears to the ground you know? Then we’ve got Venessa in the line of fire, Macy under the gun, and now I’m in prison. I can’t even begin to tell you how funny that is to me considering during all of that commotion you did shit about it. You sanctioned a team? Whatever. You put two of your own men in place to watch two women so you’d have the inside track, but they became a true team, putting each other first, and fucked your plans. Then the trash came calling; that’s me, in case you’re taking notes.” When his face turns red I add a little gas to the fire. “I have more resources than you do, Captain, and you fucking know it. Hank Allen knew it, too, only I killed him. Did I mention that?”

  “You killed Hank Allen?” He laughs. “Where’s his body?”

  “Moving on,” I say, waving my hands. “See, you’ve got cops doing bad things for a quick buck. One in particular thought it was fun to fuck with me. He even went so far as to abduct me, but guess what? I killed him too. Well, wait, that’s not right. Before he took me a uniform drew on me in broad daylight so I shot him in the throat twice; then I was taken. It still irks me that dick got the drop on me though.”

  “I see,” he says, irritated. “Does that dick have a name?”

  “Eric Young,” I say, watching his reaction. “I can see by the tick in your jaw it rings a bell. Shall I continue?”

  “Fuck, Jules,” he says, sitting down next to me. “What are you into?”

  “Me?” I ask, offended. “I just came home to visit, Cap. Turns out you have cops using Macy’s formula, and let me tell you my body didn’t appreciate that. Then just before I finish Eric off, know what he said?”

  When he shakes his head I decide now is a great time to instill a little fear in him “Same thing Hank did. You can’t win against the DPD.”

  “Jesus,” he says, dropping his head. “You gotta know when I saw what I saw, I had to make that call, Jules. I asked you more than once to let me in and you shot me down. When you went back and turned evidence they still cut you loose? Where’s the investigation?”

  “There won’t be an investigation, Cap.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because, I destroyed all the evidence.”

  “Why the fuck would you do that if it cleared you?”

  “Simple,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. “It didn’t clear my husband, and we both know I’d end up here, didn’t we, Cap?”

  “You forced my hand on purpose?”

  “Forced? No. You made those calls for a reason, and that pisses me off. You’ve known me since I was a kid, yet you rolled on me for a dirty cop, so you can fuck off for that. You waited until I was a civvie to pull this shit thinking I’m out, I have no fight left, but you’d be wrong.”

  “You gave me no choice!”

  “Of course I did.” I smile. “You just chose wrong.”

  “How in the hell do you figure that?”

  “Cap,” I say, laughing. “I just needed a reason to come back.” When he pales, rubbing his chest, I know I hit my mark. “I see you get it now. You fucked me to cover your own ass; now I’m going to fuck you.”

  “This is bullshit! You know its bullshit. I have a public to protect! You shot a uniform, one of my men! You’ll see prison time for that; there ain’t no other way out.”

  “No,” I say. “I won’t, and when I get released—which I will, Cap, and we both know it—I’ll be back on the streets where I belong. But this time I have no rules, no cases, and no government to answer to.”

  “Don’t threaten me,” he growls. “I won’t allow it.”

  “Cap,” I say with my victory smile, repeating the words I’ve heard a lot lately. “You can’t stop it.”

  Just as he’s ready to blow a gasket or stroke out I hear my name followed by, “You’re free to go.” Standing up, walking to the cell door waiting for release, I look back at the captain, wink, and leave him with some advice.

  “If you’re clean you’ll stay out of my way,” I warn him. “You step in, you fuck with me or any of them, I’ll know which side you’re on. You may want to stop worrying about your own ass and start worrying about the motherfuckers you hired to protect ours.”

  Walking out, waiting for my things and signing my name, I’m escorted out into the lobby, and it had to be written all over my face. They came for me. My team, my boss, and my husband. Seeing Mack had me squealing. Running over to him I jump on him and wrap my arms around his neck while never breaking eye contact with Max.

  “Mack Daddy!” I squeal. “You sprung me from the hole!”

  “Christ,” he says, squeezing me back. “I told you not to fucking call me that in public.”

  “Hole?” growls Max. “What hole?”

  Releasing Mack I bump knuckles with the guys and jump into his arms. “Hi, honey,” I whisper, kissing him deeply. “Miss me?”

  Holding onto me with everything he’s got he whispers back, “You have no idea.” When he sets me back on my own two feet we walk outside and split up to grab a bite to eat. Turns out the guys have been busy since I’ve been in holding, and watching them with Max I’d say he’s officially one of us now. In that moment, even with dirty hair, no makeup, and some serious stank breath, I’ve never been happier.

  “Never had kids,” he says, eating his third burger. “Met Jules when she joined and knew she’d be one helluva leader.”

  Looking around at the guys, they all gave nods and grunts in agreement. “Next thing you know we got guys from all over the department signing up to be led by her.”

  “How did your team come to be these four ass clowns?”

  “They were the only four who showed respect.” He laughs. “They were ready to listen, knew she was the real deal, and didn’t try to get in her pants.”

  “I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “She handpicked them herself.” He smiles. “She asked me to set up mock courses and shit to test them as a unit, but then a big job came up and our go to team was out—”

  “I remember that,” says Duffy, laughing. “She says to Mack, ‘let’s see what these motherfuckers are made of,’ and the rest, they say, is history.”

  “I don’t know about history,” says Saint, grabbing a handful of chips. “That was her first job, too; never know it though. That day she saved all our asses.”

  “When it was over we all
picked her up, carried her to the van, and swore fealty,” says Bishop smiling at the memory.

  “That was a good day,” mumbles Jumbo.

  “Like I said,” Mack interrupts. “Never had kids of my own, but these guys and her? Love ̓em like I would my own. Just so you know, son, I knew someday I’d have to let her go.”

  “What does that mean exactly?”

  “It means being here, helping you, was important to her. Jules didn’t destroy all the evidence and you four should have known better. Point is, she saved enough to keep Max here clean and you idiots with a job. She also set herself up to be let go.”

  “Why would she do that?” I argue. “She loved her job.”

  “She loved you more,” he says, smiling. “She’s needed here, she knows it, and now she can do what she has to do.”

  “Fuck,” I groan. “If she’s not DEA—”

  “She’s free to do whatever the fuck she wants,” says Bishop with a shit-eating grin.

  The crew came back to my place to regroup before they headed for their rooms at the Westin. Jules didn’t offer my place up, and I wasn’t about to correct her. Sitting around my kitchen, the laughter and food fights were nonstop. I should add the food fights were her fault, but I didn’t give a shit. Having her here, having them here, felt right because it’s family.

  Mack pulls Jules onto his lap like he’s done it hundreds of times before. He’s easily in his late forties and a large version of Bruce Willis, with a scar that runs along the left side of his face. Scary is an understatement, but when he’s like this it’s easy to forget who he is and what he does. Taking Jules by the shoulders leans in speaking only to her. She rears her head back to look him in the eyes and shakes her head no. He narrows his and she shakes hers again. That’s when Duffy spoke up while I sat there watching it all like a spectator at Wimbeldon.

  “Told you,” he says, addressing the group. “You owe me a hundred bucks, dick.”

  “Boss,” says Jumbo. “At least think about it.”

  Looking right at me, no one else, she speaks with authority. “I’m happy where I am.”

  “If we off Mad Max, you’d reconsider?” asks Saint, punching me in the arm.

  “I said no,” she says, smiling. “You get within a foot of him you’ll lose the ability to piss without a tube.”

  “Bloodthirsty,” laughs Bishop. “I like it. Mack, permission to stay behind.”

  “Denied,” she says. “Thanks, Bishop, but I’m good here. If I need anything, I’ll call.”

  “Or you’ll be in jail and he’ll call for you,” says Duffy, nodding in my direction.

  “I’m reinstating you,” says Mack, and she doesn’t argue. “You’ll be covered that way, but you follow protocol, so if you get in a fix I can get you out without red tape bullshit. When this is over you report back.”

  “Do I get department resources?” she asks, looking hopeful.

  “No,” he says, laughing. “Consider it another get out of jail free card.”

  When she pouts I smile, looking over at her. “Take your job back, Blue,” I offer. “You belong with your team.”

  Standing up and walking over to me she climbs onto my lap, puts her arms around my neck, and loud enough for everyone to hear she sets me straight. “I belong with you,” she says. “I’ve had these jokers for years; they’ll make do without me. But I do want to make you a deal, and I think you’ll like it.”

  “About that,” says Mack. “If he accepts the deal, the four of you ain’t a part of it, go ahead,” he nods “ask him Jules.”

  When she looks at me, unsure of my reaction, I can’t fathom what the fuck kind of deal she could be offering me. But because it’s her, whatever it is, I’ll take it. “I was hoping you’d hire me on as head of security,” she says quietly. “You know, since I’m unemployed and all.”

  “Oh, come on!” yells Bishop “I want in on that shit!”

  “Shut it,” says Mack, and immediately he does, but rolls his eyes while he does it.

  “Head of security?” I ask in shock. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive,” she says. “I can keep an eye on things, head off any potential bullshit, keep the case active, and I’ve got these asshats for backup when needed. Oh, and I get to spend a lot of time with the owner. I hear he’s generous with his bonuses.”

  “Bleach!” says Saint gagging. “Where’s the god damn bleach?”

  “Who are you and what happened to Boss? You’re freaking me the fuck out right now,” says Duffy, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

  Then Jumbo looks at her and mumbles, “Who has your back, Boss?”

  Looking me dead in the eyes, she smiles at me. “He does,” she says. “My husband does.”

  “Yeah,” says Jumbo. “Mad Max, is all right.”

  “You’ll have team support,” announces Mack. “Outside of the team, as far as anyone is concerned—especially the DPD—you’re a civvie. Try and act like one.”

  “Ouch,” she says, laughing. “Have faith, Mack Daddy; I know what I’m doing.”

  “That’s what worries me,” he says, standing up, “You know what you’re doing, but when they find out what you’re doing, you make that fucking call.”

  “Yes, sir,” she says quietly while holding on to me.

  “Don’t you two have a honeymoon or some shit?” he asks, grabbing his coat.

  “We do,” I say, speaking up. “We leave in seventy-two hours.”

  “We do?”

  “Fuck yeah we do.”

  She gives her guys each a fist bump then taunts them. “Guess I win this round fellas,” she says, laughing “If I see any titty pops, I’ll send pics.”

  “No you won’t,” I say, pulling her onto my lap. “You’d have to leave the room first, and that isn’t happening.”

  “What about food?”

  “Room service.”

  “What about swimming?”

  “We have our own pool.”

  “Sightseeing?”

  “You can explore me,” I whisper. “Right after I explore you.”

  “Seems you’ve thought of everything,” she says, curling into me.

  “Not everything,” I admit. “But I’m willing to wing the rest.”

  After the fake gagging ends the guys leave for their rooms while Mack wishes us well and leaves shortly thereafter. Climbing into bed that night was the first time I ever laid here and felt content. Nothing was slipping away, she wasn’t running, and I wasn’t forcing her to.

  We were finally where I always wanted us: together.

  “He’s a good match for you,” Mack whispers, hugging me tight. “Loves you like a man should. Sometimes it takes losing what we love for our balls to drop. When it counted, his dropped. I don’t say it, but you know I love you.”

  “What was her name?” I whisper, wiping the tears with the back of my hand. He takes a deep breath and grates out, “Courtney, her name was Courtney.”

  Nodding to him he kisses me on the cheek, grabs his bag, and just like that he’s gone. Whispering an “I love you too,” I close the door to get back to Max.

  We leave tomorrow for our honeymoon, but first I wanted to have lunch with Lina while Tony and Max did whatever those two do. Which if I had to guess would be wondering what we’re doing. I pick her up and we head to Supino’s for the best pizza I have ever tasted. I haven’t eaten here in years, and to say I missed it would be an understatement. Making idle talk on the way we snag a table by the window and get back to the way we used to be.

  “Go ahead,” she says, taking a bite of the garlic bread. “I know it’s killing you, so ask.”

  “You and Tony are a thing?” I ask, stealing from her plate. “It’s a good fit, Lina. Why are you so standoffish about it?”

  “I’m not standoffish,” she says. “Who even says standoffish? I have my reservations about it. I don’t do relationships for a reason, Jules. You know that.”

  “He’s into you,” I say. “You’re into him, too, if
I’m reading this right.”

  “Look, he’s the total package,” she admits. “You’d have to be blind not to see that, but he’s very secretive, possessive, and overwhelming. I’m secretive enough as it is; I don’t like feeling possessive, and me and overwhelming do not mix. We have a mutual stake in this mess, that’s it. He has the same objective I do.”

  “He makes you happy,” I tell her. “I can see it.”

  “He doesn’t make me unhappy,” she retorts. “But that’s it. I don’t trust him, and you shouldn’t, either.”

  “Then why are you with him?”

  “Because I only slightly trust him more than I don’t trust him,” she says. “Look, he knows things, alright? He did something for me a while ago, and I told him I’d stick around and help repay the debt. He’s using me to get answers, and I know the score.”

  “Using you?” I ask, confused. “Using you how?”

  “I was born to be used, Jules,” she says sadly. “I’m good at getting answers, and this is personal for me, too. When this is over, who knows what will happen? If he walks, he walks. You know I’m not the kind of chick men stick around for, they can’t. Who could blame them? Always watching what they say, me always waiting for it. I don’t want that kind of headache any more than they do.”

  “He’s different, Lina,” I say, grabbing her hand. “How can you not see it?”

  “True,” she says, squeezing me. “He is different, but he’s also human. I’d be foolish not to remember that everyone lies sometimes, and that even if he stuck around I’d be waiting for his excuse to leave.”

  “Lina,” I whisper. “Isn’t he worth the risk?”

  When she takes her hand back and reaches in her bag I know she’s shutting down on me. “I took risks before, Jules, and we both know how that turned out. I’m gonna grab a smoke.”

  “I’ll come with you,” I say, grabbing my own bag. “I’m not done trying to convince you yet.”

  Letting our server know we’ll be out front in case our food comes, we head to the side of the building so the wind doesn’t prevent her from lighting up. “I like him, Jules,” she says on an exhale. “I like everything about him.”