Faith in Rayne

by Dannie Marsden

  Ben giggled again, as he watched Lisbet try to bait her hook. After a few attempts to put the wiggling critter on the hook, Rayne took the hook and poor worm away from Lisbet. “Ben and I wanna get some fishin’ done. At the rate you’re goin’ it’ll be winter time before ya get that line in the water.”

  “Hmm, I could have done that had you given me more time,” she complained, as she sat down on the grass near the lake edge.

  With a wink, Rayne pushed her hat back and looked up at the sky. “Yup.” Rayne looked over to Ben. “Ya doin’ alright, tiger?”

  Just then, the tip of his pole bent, and he squealed at the tug. “I got one, I got one!”

  “Alright son, now give it a yank and set the hook.” Rayne hurried to his side. She positioned herself behind him, as she gave him instructions. “Pull up on the pole and pull in your line…there ya go, do it again.” With a proud smile she looked towards Lisbet. “Look at him, I think he’s caught a big one!”

  Lisbet had jumped up as well and was now standing beside her son as he pulled in the fish on his line. “It sure looks like it.”

  “Keep it up son, you’re doin’ a fine job. Look at it fight, yup, it’s gonna be a big one! There ya go, keep doin’ just what you’re doin’. Get ‘im tired out…”

  “You’re doin’ great, Ben,” Lisbet exclaimed, her eyes on her son.

  “Look, can ya see him tryin’ to swim away from the shore? Look, Lisbet. It’s a beauty!” Rayne excitedly pointed at the fish that jumped out of the water and splashed back down. “Okay, just a little more.” She stepped closer to the water and reached for the line. Once the line was in her hand, Ben dropped the pole and jumped up and down as he shouted with glee.

  Rayne brought the fish to the shore and held it up for Ben and Lisbet to look at. The fish turned out to be a six inch smallmouth bass. Not a big fish, but big enough to thrill Ben. “Well alright, Momma, I do believe ya got some competition. Ya still think you’re gonna catch the big one?” she teased.

  †

  By late afternoon, the trio had packed up and were heading back to town. With Ben stretched out asleep on the blankets in the wagon, Lisbet and Rayne were left in silence, lost in their thoughts. Lisbet couldn’t help but feel comfortable, she’d just spent the day with her family, with the woman she loved. The image of the redhead lying in bed as she beckoned Rayne flashed in her mind's eye, and she was angry and hurt all over again.

  Rayne happened to turn just as Lisbet wiped a tear from her eye, and she softly spoke, “Please, don’t. It was a mistake, one I would give anything to have never made. I can’t take it back, she doesn’t mean anything to me.”

  “Rayne,” Lisbet swallowed hard through the lump in her throat. “I know you would, but honey, you can’t. And I’m not sure right now that I can just forget and forgive. No matter how much I love you.”

  “Ya know, I can’t pretend to imagine how hurt you are. I mean, I know how I would feel, and God help me, I know if I were in your shoes I’d want to kill the other person. You’re a better person than me. I…I will do anything and everything to prove to you that this will never happen again. I will never give you a reason to doubt me or mistrust me. I will spend the rest of my life making things right again. Today, today was a good day, proof that we can move forward from this. Please…”

  “Rayne, don’t…I can only go day by day. I can’t promise…”

  “I know, I know ya can’t,” Rayne rushed on. “I just…I’m so very sorry that I did what I did. I need ya to know that I honestly didn’t know, it was the laudanum and a lie.”

  “Rayne, why would you believe her and not Etta?” Lisbet was truly interested in the answer.

  Rayne was quiet for a bit and then replied, “After I was shot and dealin’ with the head injury, I don’t recall Etta bein’ around much.”

  “What do you mean she wasn’t around? She’s our friend. Why wouldn’t she go see you, or even insist that she nurse you to health?”

  “I don’t know. I just assumed that she didn’t wanna help me.”

  “Oh, Rayne, think about that statement,” Lisbet replied with annoyance. “Can you tell me that you honestly see Etta not wanting to care for you?”

  “Son of a bitch. That bitch lied to me again,” Rayne said as it dawned on her.

  “Rayne…” Lisbet paused, as she attempted to sort her thoughts. “Watch your language. Ben absorbs everything you say. Did you ever wonder why Etta wasn’t around, and does it really surprise you that that woman lied to you?”

  “Maddie said that Etta didn’t approve of us, that’s why she didn’t come see me. I…I was drugged, so I never really questioned it or the fact that I didn’t truly recall a relationship with Maddie.”

  “What do you mean you didn’t recall a relationship with her?” Lisbet asked, as their eyes locked.

  “Lis, I know this ain’t gonna make sense. I can’t ever explain how things got physical other than the laudanum, but in every other relationship I’ve had with a woman…you know I ain’t no saint…” she said in an effort to keep Lisbet from feeling as though she was flaunting her past. “There’s always been some feelin’s, an attraction, ya know? I never took anyone to bed that I didn’t care about. With her, it was different. When I wasn’t takin’ the medicine and I was in my right mind, I didn’t find her attractive in any way. I didn’t like the way she talked, the things she said, I didn’t…I was indifferent to her, ya know? Thinkin’ on it now, the headaches were always worse when she was around, so I took more laudanum. I didn’t feel when I was takin’ it.”

  “Didn’t that tell you anything, Rayne?” a trace of disappointment laced her voice.

  “I was addicted to the laudanum, so no, I don’t suppose I thought about any of it.”

  The talking stopped until Ben woke, and then they enjoyed the excitement of the chattering boy as he pointed at trees and clouds and whatever he happened to see.

  When Rayne stopped in front of Etta’s house, there was a sad smile on her face. She turned to Lisbet. “Thank you for goin’ today. I know Ben had a great time. I’m hopin’ you did too.”

  “I did, thank you, Rayne. I know Ben had a lot of fun.”

  “Maybe we can do it again? Picnic, fish, talk about the future instead of the past…” she finished saying, as she looked at the ground.

  Lisbet nodded. “I know Ben would love that.”

  Rayne looked up. “What about you?”

  “Yes…yes, I would love it too.”

  “Good. Uh, let me get the fish, you and Etta can fix ‘em up for supper.”

  “Ma, stay for supper?” Ben tugged on Rayne’s hand.

  “Oh Ben, I don’t know. I should probably get back to town and see if Sheriff Hawks needs me.” Rayne looked up at Lisbet.

  “No, I think it’s a great idea. I mean, I should have thought of it. After all, you did catch most of the fish,” Lisbet said. “I know Etta and Harry would love to see you and would like to thank you for the fish.”

  It was late when Rayne drove the wagon back to the livery stable and walked to her hotel room.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Rayne walked to the sheriff’s office, whistling as the heels of her boots hit the boardwalk. Memories of the night before floated through her mind. The evening meal had been delicious and the company enjoyable. Dinner with her family was just what she had needed. It did, however, highlight to her just how much she missed Lisbet and Ben. It was with purpose that she decided to change directions and headed to the land office. About thirty minutes later, she walked out with a list in her hands.

  She was looking at it when she walked straight into Maddie, whose arms wrapped around her.

  “Honey, you don’t have to run me over if ya want to see me,” Maddie said.

  Rayne pushed the woman away from her. “I ain’t your honey, and trust me, I don’t want to see you.”

  “Rayne, why you behavin’ like this? I know you wanna see me, and I know that woman is keepin’ us apart. What I
don’t know is why you’re lettin’ her.”

  “You don’t know anything. And ‘that woman’ is my wife. I told you once that you need to stop talkin’ about her. I’m gonna tell ya once more, do not say another word about her. In fact, don’t talk to me, period.”

  Maddie reached out to touch Rayne’s cheek. “Darlin’, you don’t mean that. Come on over to the saloon. I’ll get us a bottle, and we can head up to my room. I miss you. Come on, baby. I’ll make you feel so good.”

  Rayne stepped back as she pushed Maddie’s hand away. “What do you not understand? I don’t want you, I don’t want to see you, and I sure as hell don’t want you touchin’ me ever again.”

  Maddie laughed, as Rayne turned on her heel and walked away from her. “Oh, darlin’ you’ll come crawlin’ back.” The smile dropped from her face. “One way or another, I’ll have you back where you belong.”

  †

  Lisbet had left Ben and Etta at the mercantile and was on her way to the sheriff’s office when Maddie approached her from across the street. With her arms crossed in front of her, she walked confidently towards Lisbet. “I know why ya don’t wanna let her go.”

  “Pardon me?” Lisbet turned towards the woman who had just spoken. She began walking again when she realized who had spoken to her.

  “Rayne. I understand why ya got her on a string. You just need to know that ya ain’t gonna get her back.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “You think you’ve won, that Rayne is all yours. But ya know who she spent last night with? It wasn’t you, was it?” Maddie laughed.

  Lisbet paled, as she swallowed hard. “What Rayne does isn’t of any concern to me. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

  “That’s good to know, cuz I plan on seein’ her again tonight, and tomorrow night and well, you get the picture right? Oh, by the way, you have a good day.” Maddie turned and walked back across the street.

  Lisbet held her composure until she turned the corner of a building, then she leaned on the wall. With her tears streaming down her face, and her chest heaving with her sobs, she was unaware of a woman approaching her.

  “Darlin’, are you alright?” the tall blonde woman asked, as she reached out to touch Lisbet’s shoulder.

  “Oh yes, yes, I’m fine, I just needed to…”

  “Lean against a building and cry. You know, I do that exact thing at least once a week. It always makes me feel better. But I’m gonna have to warn you, this here wall is mine. Now, I’m sure we can come to an arrangement to share it. You know, I could use it on, say Mondays, and you can have it on Fridays. What do you say, will that work for ya, hun?”

  Lisbet looked at the blonde-haired woman as though she had lost her mind. “Oh, I uh, don’t think I…”

  “Now, now, don’t you go get all embarrassed. I don’t mind sharin’, really I don’t. I was thinkin’ we need to maybe put a chair out here so that we have a place to sit as we cry our hearts out. What do you think?”

  “I don’t uh…”

  “Honey, I’m just teasin’ ya. I ain’t crazy, really. Just sometimes fun to make people wonder. You, however, are in pain, and I can’t say that I like it. Unless I miss my guess, you’re Rayne’s one and only. I’m Rebecca Fiore.”

  Lisbet was a little afraid to tell this woman her name, but she realized that the woman was kind, and she had made her smile. “Lisbet Stone Mathews.”

  “So, I was right, you are the deputy’s better half.”

  “I used to be, yes. These days, I just don’t know. I ain’t got a clue as to who to believe, Rayne or that woman. Why does she insist on ruining any happiness I might have at the moment?”

  “You’d be talkin’ about Maddie. Maddie is a real snake in the grass. She is plum mean. Here, let’s dry those beautiful eyes of yours and go have some tea. I’m a good listener, and I promise I won’t tease anymore. Probably won’t tease any less either, come to think of it.”

  Lisbet couldn’t help but smile. For some reason, this woman made her smile and feel at ease. With a nod she allowed Rebecca to lead the way to the dining room.

  Once inside the dining room and seated, Lisbet asked, “So how do you know Maddie?”

  “I work with her. I suppose I should have told you, I’m what you might call a soiled dove.” Rebecca reached for the glass of water that had been placed in front of them when they sat down. “I’m not ashamed of that. We play the hand we’re given, right?”

  Lisbet looked at the woman seated across from her, and it seemed as if Rebecca sat up straighter, almost daring her to say something about what she had just been told.

  “Yes, we do. Would you believe me if I said I understand and don’t see you any differently than I do any other lady in town?”

  Rebecca blinked in surprise at the blonde's reaction. With a tiny sigh, a smile began to pull at the corner of her mouth. “I reckon I believe you. I ain’t sure why, but I do. Lisbet, I do believe we are gonna be great friends. I’m sorry Maddie is bein’, well, Maddie. Are ya alright?”

  “I do believe that woman is set on destroying any little bit of happiness I have.”

  “What happened, if ya don’t mind me askin’?”

  “She just reminded me that Rayne spends any extra time she has with her. I’m the one married to Rayne and yet—God, why am I telling you all of this? You’re a complete stranger.” Lisbet wiped a tear that slid down her cheek.

  “Hey now, stop that. I know we just met, but there’s a reason God brought us together; and I don’t know about you, but I can always use another friend.” Rebecca leaned forward.

  Lisbet sighed. “I suppose I should tell you the whole story.” She waited for the waitress to place their tea on the table and leave before she began again. “Rayne came here to expand our ranch. We own the Rockin M Ranch back in Willow Springs, Wisconsin. She felt we needed to expand west so she came here, and well, folks around here aren’t as trustin’ as she figured. Anyway, it took longer for her to meet people who were willin’ to talk to her, and she ended up takin’ a job as the deputy. I imagine you knew that and all about that her gettin' shot?” she questioned, taking the opportunity to take a sip of tea as Rebecca nodded her head. “Rayne claims that she was taken advantage of. That Maddie lied to her about bein’ in love, and that while she was drugged with laudanum, they slept together.

  “I got tired of waitin’ for letters and for Rayne to send for us, so I got us tickets, and Ben and I headed here. I arrived before the letter tellin’ her we were on our way. Anyway, I got here and was eager to see her. So, when Etta told me that Rayne had a room in town, I showed up knockin’ on her door. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door and found Maddie in her bed.”

  “Oh my. I can’t imagine that was pleasant.”

  “It broke my heart.” Lisbet remembered that day as if it were yesterday. “You know, Rayne had the nerve to come knockin’ on the door tellin’ me that she ‘had this feelin’ that I was important to her,’ but she couldn’t remember why. You tell me, how important would that make you feel?”

  Rebecca looked at Lisbet. “Honey, can I tell ya somethin’, and you gotta promise to listen to me? Do ya think ya can do that?”

  “I don’t know, I can try…”

  “Now, I been workin’ at the saloon a long time. One thing I learned, a long time ago, is to spot a man or woman in love. Now men are men, and they got their needs. Who knows why they cain’t just keep to one woman, but they cain’t. I’ve also known Rayne since she got to town. Etta introduced us, but also from the saloon where she’d come and play cards with the fellas. Lisbet you cain’t be blind, ya know both men and women turn their heads to look at her when she walks into a room. It’s safe to say that most would do just about anything to get her in their bed. Now, hold on there.” She watched Lisbet’s bottom lip tremble and her hand shake, as she placed the glass of tea back down. “Not ever did I see Rayne pay any attention to them or their attentions. Shoot, the girls that did try al
ways complained that she would behave indifferently to them. Always said that whoever had her heart never needed to worry about her strayin’.”

  “But she did!” Lisbet cried.

  “Darlin’, don’t put it past Maddie to be underhanded. I watched Maddie for a long time, tryin’ to get Rayne’s attention, and Rayne always kept her at arm's length.”

  “Well, she wasn’t at arm's length the day I knocked on her door. She was in Rayne’s bed, naked.”

  “Okay, I’ll give ya that. I’m also sayin’ that if I had to bet on things, my money would go towards believin’ Rayne. I know Maddie, and she ain’t got no conscience.”

  “Maybe, but to leave Ben and me after a wonderful day and evening and go straight to her, how could she do that?”

  “Honey, right now you only got Maddie tellin’ ya that. Ask Rayne where she went after she got back into town. Ask me or any of the girls at the saloon.”

  Lisbet thought about what Rebecca had just said. “Was she there? At the saloon?” she picked at the corner of her napkin.

  “No, darlin’. I never seen Rayne come into the saloon, and I was in the main room the entire night,” Rebecca sat back in her seat.

  “You didn’t leave to…I mean…you didn’t…”

  Rebecca laughed and said, “No honey, I didn’t have any customers last night. Clinton didn’t come in, and well, I just wasn’t in the mood to entertain anyone else.”

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t know how to ask that…you’d think I didn’t understand how it works.” Lisbet remembered the girls she had lived with before she met Rayne. She remembered her own mother, who had worked as a prostitute.

  “Why on earth would you understand how it works?” Rebecca was surprised at the statement.

  “Oh, Rebecca, we all have a past. You of all people should know that. I was just lucky enough to have met Rayne.”

  “I didn’t…” Rebecca began to say, only to be interrupted by none other than the tall, dark-haired deputy.

  †