Fragile: Book One in The Everett Gaming Series

by Sera, Drew

  “What happened?” Sydney asked me. She looked a little dazed but much better than she had been.

  “We were walking around in the dungeon and you got spooked by something and froze up.”

  Fuck, what was wrong with me? I felt like I was telling someone that I ran over their puppy. It was gut wrenching to look in those eyes and tell her she slipped into shock. I felt horrible and responsible. And I knew the wrath of Colin was coming.

  “You feel okay, baby?”

  “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry.”

  “No, don’t apologize,” I said to her.

  Colin thought we should head home and he helped Sydney off my lap. When Sydney looked down and saw that her bare side had been pressed up against my bare chest and stomach, she turned red. Under other circumstances I would have loved to sit there and flirt with her. But I felt like shit.

  The four of them were walking towards the entrance and I seriously debated staying right where I was for the night. I leaned forward and looked down at the ground trying to collect my thoughts and calm down when a pair of black boots appeared to the side. I looked up to see Paul. This guy doesn’t quit.

  “I can relieve all that stress that’s radiating off your body. A whip would look good on you Graves.”

  Fuck this. I rarely ever acknowledged Paul and pretended that I hadn’t heard him. I stood up and headed towards the door while pulling my tee shirt on. Paul enjoys throwing salt on wounds. I wanted to throw something hard at him but instead I headed toward the door and Blake stepped in front of me. I knew what was coming, or at lest I thought I did, and I took a few deep breaths and shut my eyes.

  “Anthony, forget Paul and concentrate on that young lady. Concentrate on what’s important.”

  He was right, as usual. Blake was my mentor when I first entered the scene and wanted to become a member at Irons. I tried to relax and caught up to everyone in the parking lot.

  Chapter 45

  Friday, November 8th

  Colin

  By the time my body stepped outside to the cool November air, I was near a boiling point. I had lost control tonight and there isn’t a Dom around who handles losing control very well. Fucking Paul pissed me off, Evan disappointed me, Anthony felt responsible for Sydney reacting to something in the dungeon and my fragile kitten was teetering on the edge. I felt bad for Anthony, he hadn’t done anything wrong. I talked to Will who was a dungeon monitor in the dungeon tonight and he said Anthony tended to her very quickly and kept her upright. I’m not mad at him but I need to get Sydney taken care of first before I help him with his bruised pride.

  I helped Sydney into the back seat and Matt started to get in the passenger seat when Anthony tried to stop him.

  “Maybe I should sit up there.”

  Guilt was eating at him and he figured that she was better off away from him. His assessment couldn’t have been further from the truth. This isn’t what I wanted and isn’t what Sydney needed. She needed him near her but he felt responsible and was withdrawing. I knew that if he withdrew, Sydney would feel it.

  Matt shut the passenger door quietly and walked back towards Anthony and I and gently shut the door to the back seat on his way to us. He turned both of us around and walked us to the back of the car out of the sight of the girls. He stood with folded arms across his chest and stared at us.

  “Now you look, both of you. That girl slipped into shock tonight just from seeing something. She needs to start talking and getting this stuff out. Get her in to see Chris, Colin.” He turned to face Anthony now. “Will told Colin and I how you took care of Sydney quickly in the dungeon and we could see what you did for her in the main room. You have to be blind not to see how she reacts to you. Stop busting your own balls over it because no one else is. It wasn’t your fault. You two are the strongest Doms I know and you’re smarter than this. Sydney needs you. Now, you get in the back seat and hold her and lets go home. It’s fucking cold out.”

  Matt thumped both of us on the shoulder and headed towards the front passenger seat. He was right, Anthony and I needed to push Sydney more and get her to talk about those nightmares when she had them. I looked at Anthony and pushed him towards the back seat.

  “Come on, let’s get our fragile kitten taken care of.”

  I started my Range Rover and we headed home. My mind was full of things that I was trying to analyze and re-think the evening. Everyone was quiet on the way home and I allowed myself to be distracted by my thoughts. I barely heard Matt say, “stop sign” before it registered and I heard several horns.

  Holy fuck, horns. I ran a stop sign and was nearly hit by another car. That was all it took to send me over the edge. I pulled over and kept my hands wrapped around the steering wheel as tight as I could. No one spoke. Anthony and Matt, and probably Gina, knew about my issues with car safety and horns.

  I was nine when I was involved in a car accident that claimed the lives of everyone in the car with the exception of me. My family and I were on our way to Lake Tahoe for the Thanksgiving holiday. The weather was bad and visibility was low. My dad hit a patch of black ice and sent us spinning into the other lanes of traffic. An oncoming truck hit us. My mom and brother died instantly but my father was still alive but barely. He was slumped over the steering wheel and the horn was stuck blaring. To this day, when I hear horns, I’m transported back to that cold, wet, horrible night when I lost my family.

  And now, I allowed myself to be distracted and could have killed the most important people in my life. Anthony, Matt and Gina were my family. I’ve added sweet Sydney to this mix and any one of them could have been hurt or killed. I needed to calm down and clear my head before I moved this car anymore.

  Leaving the car running, I put it in park and got out. I made sure my movements were calm and quietly shut the door instead of slamming it. I was irate with myself but taking it out on them wasn’t going to do a bit of good. I walked over to the sidewalk and then up to the corner and just stood there, breathing deeply and trying to get a grip. Everything had me on edge tonight. The thing that I can’t get out of my head is the thought of preparing Sydney to scene with someone who most likely just wanted her as a toy. I didn’t want that for her. I wanted nothing but the best for her.

  I allowed myself to conjure up negative images in my mind rather than positive ones. I pictured Anthony or Matt taking the brunt of the impact from a car accident. It was on their side that we almost had a collision. Briefly, I pictured Anthony with a bloody face from shards of glass piercing his flesh and Matt with a large chunk of glass sticking out of his neck, just like my brother and mom. Fuck. I doubled over and threw up in the gutter and stayed crouched down. I must have been there for a few minutes because my body was cold now.

  Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I looked up and saw Matt standing there with a bottle of water. I took it from him and stood up.

  “You okay, Col?”

  “No. Not really. I could have gotten any of you killed. I allowed myself to get distracted and we could have been in a bad accident.”

  “Col, we weren’t in an accident. Everyone is fine and safe. Come on, Colin. Honking horns don’t signal death. You know that.”

  I did. Matt’s dad had spent a lot of time talking to me after the accident. When it was time for me to get my driver’s license I was very reluctant and afraid. I was a mess when it came to cars and the thought of the damage they could cause.

  I turned and looked at my Range Rover with the headlights on. Inside of that big SUV were the very reasons that I purchased it. It was rated well safety wise and I knew that while I can’t control other people on the road, I can at least protect myself and those I care about with it. The Range Rover was a beast of a vehicle. My fragile kitten was a mess inside of it. We needed to get her home.

  “Ready?” Matt asked me as we headed back towards the SUV.

  Matt walked over to the driver’s side with me but he pulled on my sleeve keeping me from getting in. Then he opened the door to the back seat and und
id Gina’s seat belt.

  “Gina pet, come sit up in the front with me. Colin needs to be back here.”

  I started to argue but Gina was already out and rounding the front of the car. Matt pushed me to get in the back and then he got in the driver’s seat. Once he put it in drive and edged out into traffic, I let my body lean against Sydney’s. She was warm and wrapped up in a blanket and felt soothing to me. It was a different feeling for me. I’ve never found comfort or solace in a submissive or any woman for that matter. But when I leaned up against Sydney, I felt as if it were right and okay. I felt like it was okay for me to feel comforted by her. It was such a foreign feeling for me, but I welcomed it. I wrapped my arm around her waist as she leaned on Anthony. I closed my eyes and began to relax as I breathed in the vanilla scent from Sydney’s body. I realized that Matt was right and I was exactly where I belonged and needed to be.

  My thoughts began to drift back to tonight and the image I remember the most was Sydney curled up on Anthony being cradled and the look on his face. I have never seen him look like that. He was always very tough and strong and was a very capable Dom that no one fucked with. He could give off a hard appearance and maybe even came across as cold to some subs or bottoms as unreachable. The right one just hadn’t touched him yet.

  Anthony was anything but cold though. He was also quite the flirt and attracted many women outside of the club, none of which he wanted anything to do with. He was way too kinky for a vanilla or non-kinky woman. He attracted both female and male subs at Irons though he’s only ever played with females. Many subs wanted an opportunity to play with Anthony. They all thought they could be the one to snag him and be lucky enough to be collared by him. So far he hadn’t collared anyone and hadn’t come close to it.

  He played hard every weekend and usually it was Anthony, a sub and myself. He was always very dedicated to the sub during the scene. He often deferred to me during a scene to negotiate and give the directions. Over the past few weeks with Sydney, I could see changes taking place with him. I’d call and tell him I needed help and he’d drop everything to help with her. As he held her in the club tonight, I saw panic etched on his face. He was afraid he had hurt her. Matt had been dead on though, Anthony is blind to see what he means to Sydney because he’s afraid to admit it.

  When we got home, I sent Sydney to go take her bath and get ready for bed. Anthony went to the kitchen and sat at the breakfast bar and put his head down on the counter. He looked like he had a million things running through his mind and none of them were good. Anthony isn’t a self-destructive guy and is usually calm and collected. But tonight, he seemed really un-Anthony. I took a few bottles of water from the fridge and set one in front of him.

  “Some night, huh?” I asked him. I needed to make sure Anthony knew that I wasn’t angry with him nor did I find him at fault for anything tonight.

  “You could say that.”

  “Sorry about the shitty driving.”

  Anthony smiled and laughed before guzzling some water.

  “You know, that’s the second time I’ve been in the back seat of that SUV with Sydney in my arms and you driving crazy. I’m starting to hate that Range Rover of yours.”

  We both laughed. It was needed to alleviate some of the tension in the room. I clasped my hand on his shoulder and jostled him. He and I were okay. I heard the front door and Matt came in without Gina. He came into the kitchen and sat at the table.

  “I sent Gina home. I’m going to stay here tonight. You guys had a fucked up night and could use an extra set of eyes.”

  I wasn’t going to argue with him. I didn’t feel completely in control and was distracted. Anthony didn’t look much better. I headed to check on Sydney.

  She was sitting on the bed in her pajamas writing in her notebook. When I saw her sitting there, I felt guilty for not being able to shelter her tonight from what set her off in the dungeon. Honestly though, if she was going to shock out like that, I was glad she was with Anthony at the time.

  “Baby, we should talk about tonight. Aside from what scared you in the dungeon, what did you think of Irons?”

  “I liked it. The people I met were nice and welcoming. The atmosphere was amazing and the dungeon was so incredible. The lighting and the stone work added to the whole vibe of something dark and forbidden.”

  “Lets talk about the dungeon. What specifically upset you?”

  At first she didn’t answer and looked down at her notebook. I reached out and brushed her hair behind her ears and tilted her face up to look at me. When I looked in those eyes, I could see all the uncertainty that clouded her mind. So many things were going on in there.

  “The man with the belt.”

  I knew tonight was a lot for her but I felt it was very important for her to really think about what scared her.

  “Did the man scare you or the belt?”

  I could see the wheels in her head moving around. I didn’t expect an answer but I wanted to give her something to think about. I needed to work with her on objects versus people.

  “Are you tired, baby?”

  “No, Sir. Not really.”

  Adrenaline probably.

  “Want to go watch some TV?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Okay, will you help Anthony get changed? He’s upset about what happened tonight and I think he’d enjoy seeing your face.”

  “Of course!”

  I thought that if she was pissed at him that I would be able to tell. She seemed surprised that Anthony was feeling down. I knew she’d cheer him up. We both walked out to the kitchen and I announced we were going to watch some TV. Matt jumped up and said he’d find some stuff for us to munch on and began raiding the pantry. I wanted to see how Sydney approached Anthony and how he reacted.

  Sydney walked over to where Anthony had his forehead on the counter and was looking down. She looked up at me for encouragement and then reached up and put her hand on his shoulder.

  “Sir? I wanted to help you change.”

  Anthony lifted his head and smiled at her. He held his hand out and when she placed her hand in his, he stood up and they went to their room. Good. I headed upstairs to change also while I could hear Matt popping popcorn in the microwave.

  Chapter 46

  Saturday, November 9th

  Anthony

  I can’t describe the relief that I felt when Sydney said she wanted to help me change. She didn’t seem angry at me and I was happy that tonight didn’t seem to break the trust base I had been working on with her.

  When we got to our room and I saw that Sydney had set out my lounge pants and a tee shirt. Aside from this evening I’ve never had anyone set my clothes out before and I stood there staring at them on the bed.

  “Um, did I mess up? Did you want something different? I can fix it. I’m sorry.” Sydney rushed over to my clothes and I snapped out of it.

  “Stop, sunshine.”

  She halted and looked downward. She thought she was in trouble. I felt like if I didn’t explain why I was quiet then I’d be withholding things and would add to her second-guessing herself. Colin and I swore we’d be open and honest with her at all times. She was expecting and deserved that from us.

  “Sydney, I was just surprised. I’ve never had anyone set clothes out for me before on their own accord. It was sweet of you.” I bent and kissed her cheek. Fuck, I really wanted those lips. But she didn’t need confusion and I didn’t need to be drawn more to her.

  I pulled my shirt off and tossed it over to the dresser. I stood in front of her just in my jeans and watched her look at my body. She looked awkwardly at me unsure of where to look. When she brought her eyes back up to mine, I gave her my lopsided smile. She looked downward and appeared to be ashamed as if she had been caught doing something wrong. I put my fingers under the edge of her chin and tilted upward so she knew that I wanted to see her eyes. Her eyes came up to meet mine again and she looked very unsure. I felt like time had stopped when she locked onto my eyes
with hers. I could have been content with her gazing at me forever. I didn’t want her to be afraid or feel ashamed to look at my body.

  “Sunshine, you don’t have to look away. I won’t get mad at you for looking. I’d hate to think my workouts were for nothing.” I smiled at her to lighten the mood and she laughed and blushed. I certainly wasn’t in the shape that Colin was in, but I had a decent body. I wasn’t chiseled or ripped but I had nice biceps and defined chest muscles that I worked on.

  Sydney needed to get comfortable with skin. Her Dom will more than likely require it most of the time. I playfully yanked my tee shirt out of her hands and pulled it over my head. I got changed from my jeans to the lounge pants and we were ready for TV and munchies with babysitter Matt. But first, I wanted to check on her after this evening in the dungeon.

  “Sunshine, are you okay? I’m sorry about the dungeon.”

  “I’m okay, Sir. I’m sorry I upset you.”

  I wasn’t sure if she really was okay or if she was trying to be brave. She’s so used to having to be brave and hold a strong face. She hasn’t had anyone to help her and was used to having to deal with shit on her own and then push it away when she had to go to work. I don’t know how she did it. I cupped her cheek and felt that strange feeling in my stomach when she leaned her face into it.

  “Come on, sunshine. I smell popcorn. Have you ever put M&M’s in a bowl of hot popcorn?”

  “No, Sir. Is it good?”

  “It’s a perfect mix of sweet and salty. You’ll love it.”

  Matt and Colin were channel changing and the coffee table was full of junk food. It was well after midnight so something good on TV was hard to come by. Sydney took up her spot on the chaise and she lay face down with her head on it’s side facing me. Seeing her naturally go to this position made my stomach hurt because I knew she went to that position for security. I sat on the floor by her so she could grab hold of my sleeve. As soon as I got situated her bruised hand came out from her throw and wrapped around the inside of my sleeve. I reached over and tugged the throw around her shoulders and then kissed her forehead.