In the Rough

by Sara Brookes

  “So he’s not permanent.”

  “No. He didn’t tell you?” Kochran paused for an answer, but Enver had none to give. “Obviously not. Why do I have a feeling there is a hell of a lot more going on between you two than I’m thinking?”

  “No,” Enver said tightly. “He just fits in well at the club. I made assumptions, that’s all. Let me know when that meeting is with Miles and I’ll be there.” Enver left the office before Kochran could say anything else. A tight knot had formed in his chest, one that he didn’t know how to untangle.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Testing of the system had gone better than expected. Maybe too good. Marcus hadn’t expected the bonus of actually experiencing subspace out of the program. It was certainly going to prove to be an excellent selling point to the members when the system went live. Though he hoped his reaction wasn’t typical. Coming out of the state had proven more difficult than he imagined, far more than any time he’d experienced it before. He suspected what had made everything so powerful had something to do with the direct neural connection with BLINC.

  “You all set?”

  Enver’s sudden question was nearly enough to make him jump. Instead, he snapped the lock open on the storage case for the visors and turned, immediately knowing something was wrong by the set of Enver’s body and the narrow slits of his eyes.

  “You okay?” he asked, genuinely concerned about Enver’s well-being. They hadn’t spoken since they’d left the club last night, but if he had to guess, Enver had been just as affected by the last session. He, of course, had never experienced Domspace, but watching his former Doms had taught him to recognize the signs. Power exchanges weren’t one sided, as most of the general public seemed to believe.

  Enver’s lips thinned into a pale line as he closed the door behind him, stepping fully into the room. “Yeah.”

  Despite the fact it was only a single word, there was a story in that response. Dozens of questions that didn’t make sense punched at Marcus’s throat, fighting for freedom. Instead, he bit them back, and kept his tone even. Professional. Enver had simply been doing his job. No reason to read more into it.

  “I’ve lined up a session of beta testing starting on Monday.” Marcus tapped the power button on his workstation. “Ezra and Maddy are going to help with stress testing the system, so we can run several simulations at once. So far it’s only been us.”

  A long stretch of silence filled the air. Swirls of too many emotions—uncertainty, fear, suspicion and hints of desperate hope—warred in his gut. He knew he was being stupid, but Enver wasn’t giving him much to work with.

  “Why—” Huskiness coated Enver’s voice, a sign he was dealing with his own barrage of emotions. He cleared his throat and tried again, furrow lines appearing on his brow. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Fear iced his blood. Had Enver found out about the text messages from Davis? “Tell you what?”

  “That you’re not sticking around. You could have said your contract terms were only to set up the programming.” Enver’s voice turned cold as his posture changed. Anger visibly vibrated the air around him. “That the real reason why you took off at the observatory?”

  I don’t know what to say or do to express how grateful I am I met you, that’s all.

  Those words stayed locked in his throat. Marcus fought the tingle in his hands to touch this man. Feel the solidness of his frame. All the hard lines and angles from head to toe. He hadn’t been able to get Enver out of his head since that first awkward meeting at the convention. Though he wanted to pursue something further with Enver, discover if the intense connection they shared was more than instant attraction, he knew the threat of Davis would hang over his life like a dark cloud. He wasn’t willing to subject the object of his desires to that special version of hell.

  If you want a future with him, you have to trust him with your secrets.

  “Like I said, just a family issue that I had to take care of.” The lie burned its way down his throat to his stomach, leaving a perforation a mile wide.

  “I thought... Never mind.” Enver fell quiet again. His gaze shifted, taking on a cloudy cast.

  A crushing wave of loss bore down on Marcus, suffocating him, leaving him with a sick emptiness inside. He’d never experienced this kind of debilitating pain in his life.

  “I can’t do this, Enver,” he whispered.

  “I won’t take up any more of your time then.” Enver turned.

  “No, that’s—” Marcus’s legs went weak. “Stop. Enver, don’t go.”

  Oh God. Please don’t leave.

  For a few heart-stopping seconds, Marcus wasn’t sure if Enver had heard him. But as Enver drew close to the door, his shoulders fell and he turned to face Marcus. A half dozen feet away, he stood, his body rigid, and Marcus could only think about how much he needed for this man to remain in his life—whatever the cost.

  “My life is...complicated at best. I’ve got some shit going on that I’m trying to deal with. Failing miserably at it too.” Marcus licked his lips, closing the distance between them. “You’re one of those things.”

  Enver grimaced. “Sorry I’m such a complication for you.”

  “That...didn’t come out like I meant it to. Nothing I’m trying to say is coming out right. Jesus. What I mean to say is that there are some things about my life that I’m not ready to talk about. With anyone,” he added hastily. “And I know I’ve been letting it affect whatever it is that is between you and me. That was never my intent.”

  “You’re not the only one dealing with demons.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I want... I mean, I think—shit. Now I’m the one who can’t speak.” Enver looked around the room, as though he wanted to find anything else but Marcus. Giving up, their gazes finally collided. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me whenever you want. May not have the answers, but I’m a pretty good sounding board.”

  “Thanks.” The single word nearly broke something inside of him. He refused to allow Enver to get tangled up in the shit show that his life had become. But he knew he could trust this man more than anyone else. Maybe even more than Zoie. That truth scraped over already raw nerves. He’d be a fool to throw away their chemistry. Blood rushed with ridiculous speed through his veins.

  He could do this.

  They could do this. He just needed to be exceptionally careful.

  As he closed the distance between them, he gave in to the beckoning need to touch Enver. He set his hand on Enver’s chiseled jaw, feeling him relax against the contact of warm, firm skin. No matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to get this man out of system.

  “Look at me.”

  Marcus felt Enver’s breath caress his palm as he spoke. The gentle breeze pushed at the needs he’d been fighting from day one. The desires that Enver had awakened. When Enver touched Marcus’s hip, Marcus had an instant flash of what it would be like to be held and slowly fucked by the man. An avalanche of want crashed against him so hard, he nearly stumbled.

  But Enver pushed against him, offering him support. “Tell me why you didn’t let me know you didn’t intend to stick around.”

  “We were just two colleagues working on a short-term project. I assumed you’d figure out that I wasn’t staying.” Marcus’s cheeks heated when Enver narrowed his eyes to glare at him. “Fine. Because I want you, all right?” Marcus tried to twist out of Enver’s grip, but the other man held on. “God help me, I want you.”

  “It’s going to take some work, but I’d like to...try. Us,” Enver added. “I want us to try. I’m not the easiest man to get to know because I’m so used to closing down. Keeping to myself.” Enver ran his hand down the line of Marcus’s spine, the fabric of his shirt tickling his skin so he couldn’t contain the shudder that racked his body. “But it seems like you’ve got the same kind of issues. Makes us quite the
pair.”

  Marcus’s cock jumped to full staff as terror raced through him, his hands starting to shake.

  “One thing.” He studied Enver’s face, looking for traces of hesitation. “Something doesn’t seem right? Just in general, like you feel like you’re being followed or watched...let me know right away. Told you my life is complicated,” he added with a forced smile.

  “Answer one question and we won’t discuss this again until you’re ready.” Marcus was the one who nodded this time. “You feel like you’re being followed or watched, you let me know right away so we can deal with it. You heard that? We.”

  Marcus knew there were questions Enver wanted to ask, but instead of offering, he nodded again. “Got it.”

  “Good,” Enver continued. “Are you in any immediate danger now?”

  “Not with you.”

  The affirmation was a boon to his soul, and he leaned forward, slashing his lips across Enver’s. Losing himself, he crushed and bit and licked Enver’s mouth, hungry and rough, but unable to contain all the pent-up desire. The smoky undercurrent of Enver that Marcus had come to adore filled his senses as he sank into the heat of the kiss.

  Enver pushed closer, grabbed the front of his shirt and muscled him around so Marcus’s back was pressed against the door. Though Enver had the physical superiority, Marcus still controlled the kiss. When Enver flicked his tongue against his, Marcus was convinced he was going to erupt in flames.

  Oh, fuck, yes. Yes.

  Enver yanked Marcus against him, running his hands up and down Marcus’s back, inching up the fabric. When his hot palms connected with skin, a shudder trembled through Marcus. He tore his mouth away, breathing heavily, his sight blurring as he stared at Enver. Blood rushed to his cock and balls as Enver ground his hips against Marcus’s pelvis. When Marcus tried to adjust himself, Enver simply grinned.

  He covered Marcus’s hand, following as he moved. Marcus sucked in an audible breath, pushing against the firm connection. Heat arced between them as their gazes collided again. Enver was the one who claimed Marcus’s mouth this time, the contact searing through the haze filling Marcus’s brain. Enver tilted his head, eating at Marcus’s mouth.

  That woodsy flavor mainlined straight to Marcus’s bloodstream.

  “Sorry,” Enver muttered against Marcus’s lips.

  Marcus responded with a tight, high moan, pushing against Enver’s fingers. “Thought it was pretty clear I like you being in control.”

  “Wasn’t positive that was just for testing with BLINC.”

  Marcus leaned his head back until it contacted with the wall. “Wow. I realize we’ve got a lot of shit between us, but the bullshit factor is high right now.” Enver gave him a level look that only caused Marcus to want him even more. The power coursing from him defied any fantasy he’d ever had about a power exchange. Thoughts of what he wanted them to do together filled every space of his thoughts. “Tell you what—let me show you what I really like, not just for testing purposes.”

  “Inside BLINC?”

  “Of course.” Marcus pointed to himself. “Geek, remember?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  The digital replication of Court greeted Enver as soon as he dropped into the program. Unlike last time they had jacked in for a round of testing, the room was empty except for a single leather overstuffed chair. A small pedestal table was positioned in front of the chair and Marcus knelt nearby.

  A hot zing lashed at Enver as he thought about how intoxicating Marcus looked, waiting patiently for direction from his Dom. That’s the real Marcus. Wise or not, he wanted Marcus with a passion far different from anything else he’d ever experienced. He had no idea where this was going to take them, but for the first time, he didn’t care. This kind of power and passion wasn’t something that could be tamed.

  Marcus only wore a pair of jeans, his chest and feet bare. Enver smiled at the small detail. He could have easily gone without clothing, but the fact he’d decided not to meant more.

  As Enver drew closer, he noticed a bottle of bourbon, a short glass and a cigar. “What’s this?”

  “Cigar service, Sir.”

  Enver stopped mid-stride. He had more than a few ideas what that meant, and could make more assumptions, but so far that had only brought trouble. Marcus clearly had a goal in mind and Enver was interested in seeing it play out. “Seems you have me at a disadvantage. I have no idea what that is.”

  Marcus’s gaze dropped to the floor. “I didn’t mean—”

  “Tell me what your devious mind is working on now, gorgeous. I like when you’re proud of your accomplishments and want to show off.”

  Bright spots appeared on Marcus’s cheeks as he lifted his face. “I know you like to smoke. So I thought this would be a good test of the system. Cigar service is when a sub kneels next to his Dom while he prepares the cigar to his owner’s liking.”

  There had to be more to this setup than that. Enver approached, picking up the telling heavy notes of arousal. As much as it fascinated him that a computer program could allow his brain to imagine the scent perfectly, he knew whatever else Marcus intended wasn’t just sitting there watching him smoking. Could be, though. People got off on just about anything.

  Enver sat, situating himself in the chair with Marcus between his spread legs. From this angle, Enver saw he’d been right. The ridge of Marcus’s erection was pressing hard against the zipper. Enver’s cock stirred in response. The visceral reaction he achieved inside BLINC still fascinated him.

  He was flirting with danger. At some point, he knew he was going to end up pulling his safe word to put an end to this. Marcus had gotten under his skin, so he damn well knew why it was such a bad idea for them to keep doing this.

  Yet he wanted to do it anyway.

  Marcus placed the cigar in his palm and lifted it for Enver’s approval. Enver took it, the tight weave of the leaves feeling firm, but loose enough to allow for oxygen to reach the flame. Once more he was surprised by the minute details he could pick up through the virtual reality connection. At how much work Marcus put into something he clearly loved.

  “You’ve pleased me. Go on.”

  Marcus took a cutter and snipped the tip of the cigar off to the shoulder. Enver watched in fascination as Marcus picked up a silver lighter, used his denim-clad thigh to ignite it and work on building a cherry.

  “Clearly you’ve done this before.”

  Marcus gave a noncommittal shrug. “One of my first steady relationships was with a guy who liked cigars. We never exchanged power, but it gave me quite an education about the process. First Dom I was with liked this, but I wasn’t trained enough for his tastes. I’d watch instead, learn. You can pick up a lot observing.” He paused, checking his progress before he continued. “One couple we were always around were into some heavy stuff.”

  The way Marcus’s voice changed in tone told Enver the situation he mentioned had made Marcus uncomfortable. “They pushed your limits.”

  “For the most part, I ignored them. Focused solely on my Dom and the other sub attending him to make sure she did her job correctly. I didn’t mind sharing him non-sexually, but I wasn’t going to allow anyone to displease him.”

  Enver smiled. “Such admirable loyalty.”

  Marcus dropped the lighter on the table, curled his fingers around the cigar and offered it. Enver accepted with a nod. As he set the cigar to his lips, the flavor of Marcus danced across his tongue. The first few pulls were an intoxicating combination of smoke and Marcus.

  He understood the appeal now.

  “One night was a little much for me, and I asked for permission to step away even though I was abandoning my Dom. I couldn’t...watch. Couldn’t push it out of my mind enough to focus on him. I think it was too much for him as well because he came up with some excuse why we needed to leave.”

  “What happened?”
>
  Marcus’s throat visibly worked as he swallowed, and Enver could almost see the shame curling around his kneeling form. “With this, there are levels of service, just as with everything else in the lifestyle. That includes ashing. This particular couple enjoyed the full works.”

  “Did he put it out on her?” Enver could understand how someone with Marcus’s background could have issues with a Dom marking his sub in such a way. He bore marks that forced him to face the unthinkable every day. “Mark her as his in some way?”

  A noticeable shiver rippled down Marcus’s body and he spoke quietly. “He used her mouth as an ashtray. She would come every time he did it. It was...too much.” His voice dropped off at the last words. “I never stuck around to find out what else they did, but considering they were both into S&M, it isn’t hard to imagine.”

  Though Enver wasn’t interested in either practice, something told him Marcus would do it if Enver ordered him to. At least the ashing part. He deliberately rolled the cigar on the rim of the glass filled with two fingers of top-shelf bourbon so the ashes fell into the amber liquid.

  “Sir.” Marcus cupped his hands together, offering them to Enver. “You can use me.”

  Enver touched the top of Marcus’s head, ruffling the fine hair and noting how the red strands sparked gold in the spotlight. “You’re not my ashtray, Marcus. Ever. Even in a constructed world like this. Though the thought of you dirty is appealing, I want to be the one who makes you a sweaty, filthy mess. Fetch two glasses, please. I don’t particularly care to drink alone.” Despite the command, Marcus remained on his knees. “Is there a problem?”

  “Sir, I...no.” Marcus started to rise.

  Enver caught his shoulder and forced him to stay. “What is it?”