Break My Fall

by Chloe Walsh

  I had been a lonely twelve-year-old kid, with a dirty mouth and even worse attitude. I’d never told anyone- because frankly it made me a pussy- that I’d thought Linda was an angel that day, sent down from heaven to take me away from all the shit. She’d helped my grandfather raise me, well, truth be told the woman had practically raised me herself and I hadn’t made it easy. I was pretty fucked up back then and had given both Linda and grandpa hell for the first couple of years.

  Frank Henderson was all right for an old guy, smart and shrewd, but he hadn’t the slightest clue of what to do with a pissed off teenage boy who was angry with the world.

  I still wondered what the hell he’d been thinking when he claimed me. Don’t get me wrong I was grateful; really fucking grateful to get out of the system, but I could never understand his reasons for doing it. He’d uprooted his life-and his hotel manager’s to play mommies and daddies with me. I understood even less the day I walked into his lawyer’s office and was handed the deeds to his business. Twenty hotels and three properties…Everything Frank Henderson had worked his whole life for, he’d entrusted to me. He’d been a proud man and we’d gotten along, but sometimes I wondered if I’d ever really known the man.

  Linda was all I had left in the world that I could call family. I had blood relatives in the form of my father, his wife and their son. However, I’d rather chew my fucking arm off than concern myself with them. I could barely tolerate them and had no remorse for feeling that way.

  My ‘father’ didn’t deserve remorse. And only feelings I had for him were of pure hatred; hatred for knocking up a sixteen-year-old girl with a fondness for white powder and walking away without a care for the repercussions.

  Well, I was a big motherfucking repercussion. It was no wonder I was such an asshole. Having a cold-hearted whore for a father, didn’t exactly bring out the warm and fuzzies out in a person.

  I was an asshole for pushing Lee away though, for being the reason she locked herself away in her room as soon as she came home from work. I guess the apple never falls too far from the tree. However, it was better this way. This way she wouldn’t get hurt.

  As much of a heartless prick that I was, I never wanted to hurt Lee. Cam was right in what she had said; Lee was fragile. I knew from Derek that Lee had been out with Cam and him. It just put proof to the pudding that it was me she was avoiding. I should feel relieved that she was keeping away from me, but instead I just felt….empty.

  My phone rang and I answered it without checking the screen. “Hey handsome.” She said in her usual fake sultry tone. It sounded like someone was scraping their nails down a chalkboard when she spoke.

  “What’s up Rachel?” I leaned back in my chair shifting my feet to rest on my desk and reminding myself to check my fucking caller ID in the future.

  “I’m in the lobby. I thought we could have lunch?” Yeah, right... Having lunch with Rachel meant she was looking for something. And that something usually came with a big fat price tag.

  “Grab a seat in the main restaurant,” I muttered dejected. “I’ll be there soon.”

  Lee

  “What can I get you?” I stood with my notepad and pen in hand, braced to take their orders. Kyle was sitting in a corner booth with Rachel next to him. She was sneering at me. He was staring wide-eyed and fumbling with his keys. I focused on keeping my breathing even. I wanted to run away and cry.

  “How’s your hand little girl?” she sniggered. I didn’t dare make eye contact with the evil redhead. She really didn’t like me. It didn’t take a genius to figure that much out. I pretended not to hear her and focused my attention on Kyle instead. It was the first time I’d faced him since the office incident. He had the decency to blush.

  “I’ll have a milkshake and the soup, please Lee.” I nodded and wrote his order down.

  Rachel clicked her fingers against the table and I forced myself to look at her, with as much of a smile that I could muster. “Lee? What kind of a name is that for a girl?”

  I cringed, my face glowing with embarrassment. “It’s short for Delia. It was my momma’s name. I was named after her.”

  She smirked, her green eyes gleaming. “Well then your momma’s name is disgusting.” The pen fell from my hands, as I struggled to reign in my temper. That bitch crossed the line, bringing up my mother. “Would you mind taking my order? I know you’re a little slow on the uptake, but that is what your job entails.” I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my face. They were angry tears. I bent down to pick up the pen.

  “Back off Rach,” I heard Kyle say quietly, which only made me cry more. Why did he have to be involved with such evil?

  “Are you okay Lee?” Mike bent down and handed me my pen. He must have seen what happened. I couldn’t talk. I shook my head.

  He placed his hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you go take your break? I’ll serve these two.” I nodded grateful for the escape. I heard Kyle call my name, but I was too annoyed to stop. I got to my feet and fled.

  Kyle

  “Keep your bitch on a leash Carter,” Mike snarled, as he glowered at us. “Lee doesn’t need your skanky girlfriend in her face.” I was up and in his face in seconds.

  “Say it again asshole,” I warned. Mike sneered at me and I wanted to stick my fist down his throat. I hadn’t realized Lee and Mike knew each other. The thought made my blood run cold.

  “Oh boys, are you fighting over me again? I thought we did that already?” I glared at Rachel. She was enjoying this.

  “Why don’t you get back in your coffin Rachel,” Mike snapped.

  Rachel stood up; I could feel the anger rippling off her in waves. “Screw you Mike,” she hissed.

  “We already did that sweetheart and it wasn’t that memorable,” he shot back.

  Rachel snorted and stormed past the both of us.

  “Stay away from her,” I warned.

  Mike focused his attention back to me and smiled darkly. “Who, Rachel? You can have her.” He turned and headed back to the kitchen.

  “That’s not who I meant,” I shouted after him.

  He turned and grinned, his brown eyes full of malice. “I know.”

  Lee

  I was exhausted by the end of my shift. I finished stacking the chairs on top of the tables with a heavy heart. I picked up the mop bucket and headed out back to empty it. Walking past the office, I noticed the light on inside. Huh, I thought everyone had left? I was closing up tonight. Thank god, I was rostered on for the morning shift for the rest of the week.

  These late night shifts had me beat.

  I knocked on the door and poked my head around the door. Linda was sitting at her desk, which was covered in papers. Mike was sitting on a chair on the other side of the desk, with his foot propped on the desk. She looked exhausted.

  “Is it okay if I take off Linda?” I asked, blushing when she jumped. I had clearly startled her.

  Linda stood up and stretched. “Of course I’ll lock up. Thanks again for covering that extra shift.” I smiled and went to leave, when Linda called me back. “Hun, I heard about what happened earlier.” I froze waiting for her to chastise me. “I’m sorry that happened to you, that Rachel is a shark. I’ll put you on the housekeeping shift for the rest of the week.”

  Mike smiled at me with a guilty look…So he had told Linda.

  “I’m still rostered for the morning shift from tomorrow though, right? I asked.”

  “Yes, yes,” Linda said.

  “Okay thanks, see you both tomorrow.”

  I was by the front door when Mike stopped me. “Is somebody collecting you tonight, or can I give you a ride?” We ate lunch together every day, but I didn’t know Mike well enough to take a ride from him.

  “My friend Cam is waiting on me,” I lied.

  “Oh, that’s too bad,” he muttered. “I thought we could have dinner, grab a movie?” Wait, was my Mike asking me out?

  “You barely know me?” I blurted out. Smooth.

  Mike smi
led. “But I want to know you.” Mike had a great smile, but I didn’t feel anything when he smiled at me, nothing compared to what I felt when Kyle did, not that Kyle smiled at me very often.

  “Um, maybe, look I better get going. Goodnight Mike.” That was not going to happen anytime soon. I did not need any more compilations in my life.

   Chapter Thirteen

  Kyle

  “Come on Kyle, it’ll be fun. You do remember the meaning of fun, don’t you?” Cam joked as she pulled on her coat.

  “Ha Ha,” I retorted.

  She clapped her hands “Very good,” she praised me in an overexcited voice. She was a wise ass.

  It was Friday night and that usually meant hitting up a few bars and a club or two. I wasn’t feeling it tonight. “No, go on without me,” I said. “I’m tired.”

  Cam frowned. “Kyle, I swear you are sounding more like Lee by the minute.” I forced a laugh, but my chest hurt when I thought of Lee. I fucked up big time today. I had left Rachel talk to her as if she was a piece of shit off the street. I had done nothing. I owed her a super-sized apology with side order of groveling. Lee could hate me all she wanted, but she needed to stay the hell away from Mike.

  Lee

  I picked up a large cheese pizza from a 24-hour deli on my thirty-minute walk home. It was past eleven when I reached our front door. Letting myself in, I tossed my bag in the hall and kicked off my sneakers. Friday’s were the biggest party night in my housemates’ lives so I knew the house was empty. No one was ever here on a Friday night, except for me. I grabbed myself a bottle of water from the refrigerator and walked into the living room. Finding Kyle sprawled out on the couch was not something I had anticipated, or was thrilled about.

  I was still upset about earlier. I debated turning around and running upstairs, but I forced my feet to move forward. I was going to have to get used to being around him. He was my roommate after all and my boss…

  “Hey” he croaked, pulling himself up to make room for me to sit down. “You’re late tonight.” His eyelids were heavy. I had woken him up.

  “I know. I just finished my shift. Linda had me cover Theresa’s shift.” I sat on the other side of the couch, as far away as I could from him.

  “Again?” he asked stretching. “That’s the third time this week.” I nodded; surprised that he would know that. “Linda needs to get her shit together. I’ll have a word with her.”

  I grabbed his arm in alarm. “Please don’t Kyle,” I begged. “I like Linda and she’s good to me. I don’t want her upset with me.”

  Sighing, he patted my knee. “Okay, relax I won’t bring it up. Just make sure that you say no if you’re too tired Lee. I don’t want to wear you down.”

  I plopped the pizza box in between us, needing a little space. I felt too worked up by the fact that Kyle was talking to me, to worry about…Well, work. I wasn’t sure why he was even speaking to me. He usually ignored me. Pathetic as it sounded, I craved his company. “Hungry?” I asked.

  We sat side-by-side gorging on pizza and watching some crummy sitcom rerun.

  It was…nice. “How come you’re not out tonight?” I asked between bites of my pizza, turning my head to face him.

  “I’m just sick of drama. I am in desperate need of a chick free night,” he answered through chews.

  “In case it has slipped your attention I happen to have a vagina,” I mumbled as we both went for the last slice. I immediately blushed from my outburst. I would have never spoken like that back home. I could feel the heat burning my cheeks. Did I just say vagina to Kyle? I felt like running.

  Kyle made a choked noise as he tore the slice in half and handed me the bigger half. My stomach grumbled in appreciation. He looked over at me smiling and poked me in the side.

  “I am very aware that you have a vagina, but you’re different.” He sighed heavily. “I need to apologize to you about earlier Lee.” He stretched his hand toward me and rubbed his thumb across my chin. “You have a little tomato sauce just there.”

  I lowered my burning face and I could have sworn he stuck his thumb in his mouth. I was wondering if he would bring up the restaurant incident. I didn’t because I was too afraid he would leave. I really was pathetic.

  I tucked my legs underneath me and turned to face him. “We don’t have to-”

  “Rachel was a bitch. She shouldn’t have spoken to you like that,” Kyle interrupted. Rachel being a bitch to me was nothing new. She had a snide remark every time she saw me.

  “It’s fine Kyle.”

  He frowned, his brows furrowed. “No, no it’s not. She made you cry and I did nothing. I should have said something.” I shrugged. Yes, he should have, but he never did. I wondered what was going on with them. Why did he bother with Rachel? She was just plain nasty. Whatever was between them couldn’t be worth the hassle of staying with her. Kyle could do so much better than her.

  “It’s okay, it’s not like you talk to me anymore anyway. I’m used to being ignored.”

  He flinched and I felt bad immediately. “Is that how you feel? Like I ignore you?”

  Of course, that’s how I felt, that’s what he did every time he saw me. I nodded.

  “I’m sorry princess, I don’t mean to… I don’t want you to feel like that.” My heart skipped when he called me princess. It had been a long time since he had.

  “Kyle it’s okay, honestly. I overreacted. Rachel just touched a raw nerve, bringing up my mother.”

  He scooted closer to me. “I’ve never heard you talk about your mother. Why is that?”

  I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. “Um, that’s because I never knew her. She died giving birth to me.”

  I heard him exhale sharply, but I kept my eyes focused on the television. “Shit, I didn’t know that.”

  I smiled at him. He looked truly upset. “How could you Kyle? Don’t worry about it. I’m going to get some more water, you want anything?” When he didn’t answer, I went and got myself another bottle of water.

  “My mom’s dead too,” Kyle said, when I returned to the couch.

  I sank onto the couch beside him. “Oh, I’m sorry.” My heart swelled for him. “How old were you when she passed away?” I was sorry for him. Losing a mother was the worst feeling in the world for a child. To be missing that crucial element, a mother’s love.

  “Three. I don’t remember her.” His face looked like the subject was a closed and I briefly wondered why he had brought it up if he was not going to discuss it further.

  I was desperate to change the subject and keep him from leaving. “So are we going to try and be friends now?” I asked nervously, outstretching my hand to him. I only wanted to know the answer if it was good news. I couldn’t take any more bad.

  Kyle shook his head, smiling softly. “Yeah princess, we can try…” He took my hand and shook it, before pulling me closer. “But if this goes wrong, just remember I warned you. I tried to protect you.”

  He released my hand and my head was swimming. What did that mean? He tried to protect me? I asked him about something else that he had said, that was still bugging me. “You said earlier I was different from other girls? How am I different?” I needed to know.

  It really bothered me that he didn’t think I was a normal girl. It was obvious he found it easy to ignore me, but I was most definitely still aware of his maleness.

  He sighed and turned to face me. Pulling one leg up on the couch and let the other hanging on the floor. Smiling, he chuckled. “Do we really need to have this conversation?” His smile was infectious and I felt myself mirroring him. I was so happy we were off the topic of dead mothers.

  “We most definitely do, my female pride is wounded,” I replied, “Don’t try and dodge the question sir,” I joked.

  “Sir?” He laughed and sat up straighter, resting one arm over his bent knee. His eyes were a tranquil blue.

  “That’s what everyone at work calls you.” The girls at work called Kyle Carter worse names than sir; sexually preda
tory names that were too vulgar to contemplate saying out loud. “And since we’re on the subject of work, what’s with you ordering strawberry milkshakes? What are you nine?”

  He gaped at me and I sniggered. “Twenty-two and I’ll have you know milkshakes are a great source of calcium. Maybe you should try one sometime, short-ass.”

  I leaned over and tugged at his sweater playfully. “Okay, I think we both know by now that I’m vertically challenged so quit dodging and answer my question.”

  Kyle reached up and pulled my hand into his lap and played with my fingers. I didn’t think he even realized he was doing it, but it felt right when he touched me. I always wanted to be touching him. “When I say you’re different princess, it’s because you are, plain and simple.”

  “Gee thanks Kyle. So I’m plain, simple and a short-ass.” I pulled my hand back, but he was too quick for me.

  “Hey, now don’t get cranky. I meant that as a complement.” He looked down at our joined hands and then back at me. He was smiling. “You’re not like any other woman I have ever met. You are honest and kind. You are probably the only girl in the whole damn world who I can say that about,” he sighed and puckered his brow. “Lee, what you represent for me is the opposite of everything I hate in women. Being around you is as easy as breathing, it’s addictive.” He exhaled deeply and smiled his half-moon smile, “Satisfied?”

  Was I satisfied with that? I wasn’t sure, but I was confused. He never stayed around me long enough to test his theory. I nodded slowly, accepting his answer as the best explanation I was going to get. If I was the exact opposite of what he hated, then did that mean he…No, I wasn’t going to get my hopes up. I knew enough to know that Kyle Carter had an incredible talent for pulling the rug out from under my feet.